There Is The Love

Where Is The Love - Black Eyed Peas

Will.i.am (Rap 1):
What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all

Verse 1
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Verse 2
Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love

Taboo (Rap 2):
It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin' in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all

Repeat Verse 1
Repeat Verse 2

Repeat Chorus

apl.de.dp(Rap 3):
I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' our wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why something I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why something I'm feelin' down
That's the reason why something I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found
Now ask yourself

Repeat Chorus
Repeat Bridge 2

Sing wit me y'all:
One world, one world (We only got)
One world, one world (That's all we got)
One world, one world
And something's wrong wit it (Yeah)
Something's wrong wit it (Yeah)
Something's wrong wit the wo-wo-world, yeah
We only got
(One world, one world)
That's all we got
(One world, one world)

Verizon recently gave me a little bit of love in response to my complaint. It happened a little faster than I expected. I received an email a few weeks back from one of managers that work under Thomas "T.J." Fox. It was in response to a letter I wrote in regards to the rudeness I experienced at a local Verizon store. He basically was apologizing for the experience and wanted to call me to talk about it. So he called and pretty much was apologetic again. He was being kind of repetitive in the apologies and even apologized for that. For my troubles gave me one month of free service and told me that I would also get another call from another manager. That never happened. Maybe I should email him to let him know. But Hemingway.

Eugene also found the love last night. I mentioned a while back that Eugene was helping out a young homeless guy get his life together. He helped him get financial aid to take classes at the college Eugene teaches at. He even was able to get enough to cover room and board. So about a month ago YHG told Eugene that his cousin is Will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas. Eugene didn't believe it at first. YHG also said that Will.i.am would give him two backstage VIP passes to an upcoming show they were having in Boston and wanted to invite Eugene to go with him.

So the concert was last night and was promptly reviewed by Boston Herald. Eugene always plays the "I'm too cool for school" card and not being overly impressed by things. But he was like a gushing schoolboy describing his time last night. As part of the backstage VIP experience, YHG and Eugene were escorted by security away from the other peons (some who paid $200 for the show) into a back door and once given a security band was allowed backstage. They first encountered Fergie, who Eugene described as being too flirtatious. He mentioned that she was flirting with them before even knowing who they were. They then met Will.i.am who he described as really down to earth. Eugene mentioned that Will.i.am told YHG that he would help him out financially. YHG is into football and has dreams of being a football player. Will.i.am mentioned having a cousin that's a football coach out in Los Angeles and having YHG spend his summer up there to be trained by this coach. It was a pretty cool exchange.

Eugene also got to meet Taboo and apl.de.dp. He thought both of them were cool and he said he especially bonded with Taboo. They shared a couple jokes and stuff like that.

There was a catered section with lamb, chicken, shrimp, smoked salmon, and all the fixings. Apparently they went all out in ordering food. There were a lot of people backstage too and it was hard for Eugene to tell who were guest, dancers, friends of the act, etc. They ate and drank a bit (okay a lot) before the actual show started. They were able to watch the show from the basketball court area (literally where the players would shoot baskets) and they were able to go back and forth backstage to get more food and drinks and back to the court.

Overall they had a nice time. Eugene did relay a tense moment between them after the concert. On their way back, they were discussing the options Will.i.am mentioned. YHG seemed resistant to want to spend his summer in LA. Eugene was pointing out to YHG that it would be a very good opportunity for him to take. But YHG wasn't feeling the idea. YHG even muttered a comment that it would be 'good riddance for Eugene'. In other words, Eugene wanted him to go to LA so he wouldn't have to worry about helping him.

From what Eugene told me, YHG grew up in an abusive environment and basically a lot of folks turned their back on him. Eugene turned out to be a positive influence in his life and I guess he was there when others turned their back on him. So he feared losing that. At least that's the conclusion Eugene drew from the incident after thinking it over.

They will work it out I'm sure.

Sweet Dreams

Sweet Dreams - Eurythmics

Chorus:
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas--
Everybody's looking for something.

Bridge 1:
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.

Ad-lib:
oooh, yeah, whoa

Repeat Chorus

Repeat Ad-lib

Bridge 2:
(Hold your head up--Keep your head up--moving on)
(Hold your head up--moving on--Keep your head up--moving on)
(Hold your head up--moving on--Keep your head up--moving on)
(Hold your head up--moving on--Keep your head up)

Repeat Bridge 1

Repeat Chorus x 3

I just woke up from an experience I haven't had in a long time. I was dreaming that I was in some restroom relieving myself. Moments later this attractive security guard came up to me after I was done with my business. He was grabbing me by my waist and guiding me down some hallway. He was asking me what I was doing and then started giving me his phone number. I was reaching in my pocket to find a pen and he was repeating the number.

At the same time I felt myself waking up and felt like cumming. Instinctively I was holding myself to keep from soiling my pants and bed. I woke up and ran to the bathroom. About ten minutes later a combination of semen and urine came out.

I can't believe I just had a wet dream or in more technical terms a nocturnal emission. I haven't had one of those in almost nine years, which is around the time I "late bloomed" myself into discovering the art of masturbation. Since I stopped having wet dreams immediately afterward, I figured that was the end of it.

I did have a wild random rendezvous last Thursday. The guy was ten years younger than me (27) and was pounding the hell out of me. Maybe it was residual effects from that I was experiencing this morning. Who knows? Nonetheless it was an interesting way to wake up this morning and even if it's TMI, I thought I'd record it for posterity.

I think I'm going to have a good workout today.

Wildflower Moment

Wildflower - Skylark

Verse 1:
She's faced the hardest times you could imagine
And many times her eyes fought back the tears
And when her youthful world was about to fall in
Each time her slender shoulders
Bore the weight of all her fears
And a sorrow no one hears
Still rings in midnight silence in her ears

Chorus:
Let her cry, for she's a lady
Let her dream, for she's a child
Let the rain fall down upon her
She's a free and gentle flower growing wild

Bridge:
And if by chance I should hold her
Let me hold her for a time
But if allowed just one possession
I would pick her from the garden to be mine

Verse 2:
Be careful how you touch her for she'll awaken
And sleep's the only freedom that she knows
And when you walk into her eyes you won't believe
The way she's always paying
For a debt she never owes
And a silent wind still blows
That only she can hear and so she goes

Repeat Chorus

I knew when I heard Lisa Fischer sing the song Wildflower that it was a remake from another artist. I just didn't know who. The original artist of Wildflower was the group Skylark. Just like Cyndi Lauper's Time After Time, Wildflower it turns out became one of the most remade songs by various artists. Over fifty different artists have remade the song according to this site. Johnny Mathis (no video on YouTube exists...would love to hear his version) and The O'Jays were among the first to do so. Even rap artist Tupac used it as a sample on Shorty Wanna Be A Thug.

Hearing a few of the different renditions, including original recipe Skylark, I have to say that Lisa Fischer's version is the one that I liked the best. It just has that edge in it and Luther's brief cameo in it put the cherry on top. Mmm cherries. Time for some Cherry Vanilla ice cream.

The Pretenders

Pretender - Madonna

[Chorus 1]
He's a pretender
He knows just what to say
He's a pretender
Yeah, you meet him every day
He's a pretender
That fish that got away
He's a pretender
Why'd I fall in love

[Verse 1]
It was so strange
The way he held my hand
I wanted more
Than just a one night stand
He had a way
Of making me believe
That he was mine
And that he'd never leave

I know that I should take my friend's advice
Cuz if it happened once, you know it happens twice
If there's a chance then I know I've got to try
I'll make him dance with me,
I'll make him tell me why

He's a pretender
He's a pretender

[Bridge 1]
I'm not afraid to fall a hundred times
And I'll believe in all your silly lies
I'd like to think that I could change your mind
Don't say that I am blind, I know all about your kind

[Chorus 2]
He's a pretender
Yeah, you meet him every day
He's a pretender
That fish that got away
He's a pretender
Why'd I fall in love

[Verse 2]
I like the way
He moved across the floor
And when he danced with me I know he wanted more
But in the dark
Things happened much too fast
I should've stopped him
Then, I knew it wouldn't last

I know that I should take my friend's advice
Cuz if it happened once, you know it happens twice
If there's a chance then I know I've got to try
I'll make him dance with me, I'll make him tell me why

[Repeat Bridge 1]

[Bridge 2]
You lied, you lied, you lied, you lied
You lied, you lied, you lied, you lied
You lied, you lied, you lied, you lied
You lied, you lied, I know all about your kind

[Chorus 3]
He's a pretender
He's a pretender
He's a pretender
Why'd I fall in love

[Repeat Chorus 1]

[Repeat Chorus 3 and ad lib]

I've referenced Madonna a couple times throughout my blog. But this is the first time to my knowledge that I've made reference to her lyrics. But this song seems so appropriate in relation to my recent dealings with men.

There have been three men I've chatted with in the last month or so that seems to come roaring out of the gates but then fizzles out and turns into the typical game playing that men do.

Case 1: Hotrod.

So sad. You remember I blogged about my wonderful first date with Hotrod on Labor Day weekend. What I didn't mention in that entry is that we had a follow up date the next day. He came over to my place brandishing movies and I warmed up the leftovers from the date we had yesterday. It turned out he said he wasn't hungry because of eating something earlier at work.

Hemingway we watched The Hangover, a funny movie that I actually wanted to see when it came out in theatres but didn't get around to. He happened to have a bootleg copy of it along with Fast & Furious (with sexy ass Vin Diesel) and Underworld: Rise Of The Lycans. The other movies he left with me.

The evening date I thought went well. We watched the movie, I ate some of my leftovers, and afterwards we made out a bit. And clothes didn't come off. He first arrived ten minutes before six and left a few minutes after eight pm. He said that he works at 4am.

I honestly thought the second date went great and it really felt like we were getting to know each other. But I notice HotRod wasn't as responsive to me. We mostly texted anyway but even those became less and less. I found myself initiating the texts more and more and sometimes he wouldn't necessarily respond.

At first I thought he may have thought I was lying about visiting my family in Detroit (which I did the following weekend). I was a bit vague about the timing since I had contemplated visiting a prospective guy in St. Louis that following Thursday. That meeting didn't happen (because of bad taxi service....American Taxi was a no show at my place) and subsequently I realized that I didn't really have an attraction to the St. Louis guy.

But when I texted him some more after my Detroit visit and suggested meeting him, he claimed to have the flu and that his Mom was at his place. That alone could've been taken at face value if in later days he didn't claim to have injured his knee and a week later have a bum shoulder (that would take six weeks to heal).

I told him if his interest in me has changed he should let me know and that would be fine. But he claims that's not the case.




Madonna (singing): He's a pretender.









Case 2: OldGlory

This guy who I'm calling OldGlory is a dude I met on that social networking site I keep visiting for some odd reason...*LOL*. His profile claimed that he was 48 years old, 6'2 and 200+ lbs of Muscular build. He claims in his ad to be a regular Joe Schmoe of quality and good old fashioned down to earthiness.

I liked his message and his pictures. I was more attracted to the body than his face but it wasn't like his face could crack a mirror (totally) so I emailed him. To my surprise he quickly gave me his real email address and told me not to be shy about using it.

I was impressed. Most guys like to play the okey doke initially. So I decided I'd email him for the heck of it. I did and within minutes I got an email back with his phone number.

I was thinking...damn. Either he's desperate or he is a straight up guy that doesn't beat around the bush. Assuming the latter, I gave him a call. He didn't answer but I left a message. The voice was very deep and manly, definite turn on.

So he actually called me back thirty minutes later saying that he's on the road heading to Wisconsin with his best friend and that best friends kids to some outing. I wasn't clear about it but it sounded like some fair-like event. But he told me to send him a few more pics of myself. That should've been a sign right there but...Hemingway.

So throughout the day we're texting back and forth and I sent him three more pics of myself throughout the day. We even talked on the phone a couple times throughout that. The messages were very positive and I was actually eager to meet him. I suggested that it'd be cool to meet sometime tomorrow and he said that was fine.

So tomorrow comes and I send him a quick text asking how he's doing. It takes him awhile but he texts back saying he's fine and that his friend and said friend's kids were leaving to go back to Michigan. I was like cool. So I said it'd be cool to meet today. He agreed and then I suggested lunchtime around 1pm. I heard nothing else.

I made mention to my friend Eugene about this guy and after I shared his information, Eugene recognized him as a guy he spoke to years ago. He said that OldGlory was just as quick responding to him but then backed up when Eugene asked him how old his pics were. Now we may be getting somewhere.

So Hemingway OldGlory called me around 1pm while I'm chatting with Eugene. I didn't switch over so OldGlory left a message telling me to call back. I got off the phone with Eugene fifteen minutes later and then I called OldGlory back. I got his voicemail and I left a message.

I heard nothing else from OldGlory for the rest of the day. I got a bit pissy and sent him an email message around 6pm telling him I didn't appreciate being dissed. That was unfortunately not cool on my part but I felt like things were moving along so great I couldn't understand why we haven't met. He calls me a minute later (since he has a Blackberry and got the email) and basically questions why I would say such a thing since we never agreed on a time.

Unfortunately OldGlory was right there. He technically weasled himself out of agreeing to meet by not responding. He conveniently claimed to be taking a nap and was presently hanging out (probably living...*LOL*) with his mother.

I begrudgingly admitted my wrongdoing and we hung up. In thinking about it, I kept wondering why he was so anxious to get pictures of me. I mean he saw what I looked like on my profile and I saw him. It then dawned on me what Eugene said. Eugene mentioned how OldGlory clammed up when Eugene asked about his pictures and old how they were(which actually as of today were the same ones Eugene saw years back).

It made me realize that OldGlory most likely wasn't who he said he was. He may have looked like the guy in those pics at one time but may have let himself go. That is likely why he was insistent on seeing pics of me. Though I don't know what made him think I may not be showing my old glory days myself. He wanted to see if I was telling the truth about how I look. Plus it's likely he's older than 48. All this could be why he evaded meeting me.

But why did he act like an eager beaver to begin with. Whatever the reason...




Madonna (singing): He's a pretender.








Case #3: Chad

Before you all flip out (this is for the old school followers of my blog...*LOL*), I'm not talking about that Chad. The reason why I call this third guy Chad is that honestly he's not worthy of his own nickname. So for the first time in my four and a half year history of blogging, I'm recycling a name.

Chad's message on the previously mentioned social networking site was actually quite inviting. Then again most guys try to put their best foot forward when pretending.

His message said: "I would like to meet a great guy that is looking for more than the usual hook-up. If you are that guy, hit me up! Friendship is a great thing!"

Yeah we've heard that message before in various forms, I know. But I thought hmm maybe this guy will be different. Plus I liked his stats (heh...I'm such a sucker for those...*LOL*)

Chad's case is actually relatively quick (even though the culmination of his bs took two weeks). Day 1 I send him a message. He looks to be online but he doesn't reply. Day 3 he replies back.

Right off I should've left it alone but it is possible to be online but not be online if you know what I mean. So hoping we could actually have a real time chat, I sent him my email address. He got my message Day 4 but didn't reply. Day 5 he finally replied but not via my email.

So I asked him why he didn't email me on Day 6 (I mean why should I reply back right away...*LOL*). On Day 7 Chad asked what would he say on my email.

Yeah yeah yeah I know....but you know how stubborn I can be....*LOL*. And besides isn't this more interesting to blog about...*LOL*. So Hemingway I actually replied on Day 7 with a joke message on what he could say. That same day actually (but hours later) he responded back retyping that joke message on A4A of course.

Not to be deterred (yeah I can be a fool...*LOL*) on Day 8 (which was last Monday) I tell him that it would be nice to at least chat in real-time and maybe we should set an appointment. I suggest 6pm on Wednesday. He claims that he has some virus in his laptop that he needs to get fixed but Wedneday should be fine.

So Wednesday comes and I actually wind up working late so I don't log in at 6pm. I logged in the next day (this is Day 11) and I see he sent a message around midnight Wednesday asking for my whereabouts.

I made the assumption that he himself was likely not there at 6pm so on Day 12 I said...'I thought we said 6'. He actually replied that same day (shocking again I know) and asked what I mean by 6. I wondered if this guy is as stupid as he's acting but I replied back that same day that I was referring to the 6pm appointment for a real time chat. I added that technically since it was the first time in nearly two weeks that he actually replied the same day I sent a message that it was kind of a start of a real-time chat. True to form he replies back on Day 14. He says 'What about 6pm?'.

I finally had enough and let him have it on his bullshit. I basically told him what he already knew. He had no intention of getting to know me since I gave him an avenue to do so and he didn't do anything with it. He replied back that he was glad to find out about my being crazy and good luck on finding a guy (yeah I was crazy enough to continue this farce of a charade for two weeks I guess...*LOL*). I replied back that if calling him out on his bullshit meant that I'm crazy, then yes I was. I also thanked him for being a jerk before I got to know him (since he saved me wasting my time...other than the two week pointless banter...*LOL*) . And then I blocked his simple ass. Yup...





Madonna (singing): He's a pretender.





So many pretenders out there to the throne. Yeah unfortunately I know all about their kind. Damn. Take it away Madonna.

Buffalo Stance

Happiness is finally walking into a local Chicago area Subway and finding out they have Buffalo Chicken on their menu.    I've only been waiting three years to try that sub.   It's available for a limited time so of course the minute I saw it, I had to try it.    So after the long wait, was it worth it you say?   It was good, not the best.    But I was satiated.

Speaking of Buffalo Stance....check out this classic song from the 80's.:

Promiscuous Boy

Promiscuous - Nelly Furtado (with Timbaland)

Pre-Chorus
Nelly: Am i throwin' you off?
Timbs: Nope
N: Didn’t think so

Verse 1
T: How you doin’ young lady
The feeling that you're giving really drives me crazy
You don’t have to play about the joke
I was lost with the words first time that we spoke

N: If you looking for a girl that’ll treat you right
If you lookin’ for her in the day time with the light

T: You might be the type if I play my cards right
I'll find out by the end of the night

N: You expect me to just let you hit it
But will you still respect me if you git it

T: All I can do is try, gimme one chance
What’s the problem I don’t see no ring on your hand

T: I be the first to admit it, I’m curious about you, you seem so innocent

N: You wanna get in my world, get lost in it
Boy I’m tired of running, lets walk for a minute

Chorus
T: Promiscuous girl
Wherever you are
Im' all alone
And it's you that I want

N: Promiscuous boy
You already know
That I’m all yours
What you waiting for?

T: Promiscuous girl
You're teasing me
You know what I want
And I got what you need

N: Promiscuous boy
Let's get to the point
Cause we're on a roll
Are you ready?

Verse 2
N: Roses are red
Some diamonds are blue
Chivalry is dead,
But you're still kinda cute

T: Hey! I can't keep my mind off you
who you with, do you mind if I come through

N: I’m out of this world come with me to my planet
Get you on my level do you think that you can handle it?

T: They call me Thomas
last name Crown
Recognize game
I'm a lay mine's down

N: I'm a big girl I can handle myself
But if I get lonely I’ma need your help
Pay attention to me I don't talk for my health

T: I want you on my team
N: So does everybody else.
T: *shit*

T: Baby we can keep it on the low
Let your guard down ain’t nobody gotta know
If you with it girl I know a place we can go

N: What kind of girl do you take me for?

Repeat Chorus

Bridge
T: Don't be mad, don't get mean
N: Don't get mad, don't be mean

T: Hey! Don't be mad, don't get mean
N: Don't get mad, don't be mean

T: Wait! I don't mean no harm
I can see you with my t-shirt on

N: I can see you with nothing on
feeling on me before you bring that on

T: Bring that on?
N: You know what I mean

T: Girl, I’m a freak you shouldn't say those things

N: I’m only trying to get inside your brain
To see if you can work me the way you say

T: It's okay, it's alright
I got something that you gon' like

N: Hey is that the truth or are you talking trash
Is your game M.V.P. like Steve Nash

Repeat Chorus

Outro(Repeated till fade)
N: eh o ey o

Remember Midas? He was the guy that bought out some of the freak out of me, especially when we were involved in 3-ways. Well we've been having this Nelly Furtado/Timbaland volleyball game match for a few months now. Several times he would text me and play the role of Timbs basically asking for sex (2-ways, 3-ways) and like Nelly I would tease him but ultimately deny him. This happened on three or four separate occasions. Once he even offered to come over to my place with another guy. He had expressed a phobia before about having sex with me at my place because I wasn't as neat as he was. He must've been really horny that day.

So actually a month ago he finally upped his game a bit and invited me for breakfast. At the very beginning of our trysts we used to go to breakfast either before or after the sex. But later on it turned into just sex. So him inviting me for breakfast bought me back to those beginning days. I went to breakfast with the intentions of not having sex with him. It was my first time seeing him in nearly four months. He was as hot as I remembered.

So I arrive at his place. To my surprise he was dressed and ready to go to breakfast. So we went and caught up on our lives. I told him about work and some of my latest encounters with guys. He in turn talked about his life. We really had a good time and I found myself laughing a lot. So afterwards we drive back to his place. I'm bidding my farewell to Midas and he grabs my arm and goes 'no you don't'. He then started putting his hands around my waist. Mind you this was happening outside of his apartment. Midas definitely had no shame in his game. So not wanting to make a scene I go with him inside his apartment building.

So you know what happens next. Hard as I resisted, Midas was looking too damn good and my defenses were weakened. I put up a good fight for 15 minutes but finally I gave in. We watched TV for a couple hours before eventually he needed to run an errand and I needed to head back.

Since then we've had a couple more Promiscuous Boy/Boy rounds. Yesterday's round however was really interesting. Or maybe not. He was at an all day conference near my house and wanted to come over and 'rape' me. We were going back and forth and he shocked me by texting that he missed me. The rest of the texts went like so:

Me: U miss the sex right?

Midas: You and how we are together.

Me: I don't mean to throw 20 questions at u but how are we together outside of the fabulous sex?

Midas: The way we used to talk.

Me: Yes I miss that too.

Me: I wish you liked hanging out with me more.

Midas: So you want to come to a 4 sum there is a pig bottom and I can watch you fuck?

Midas: Give it time and we can hang.

Me: Sorry got caught up in group lunch. Speaking of groups I'm not really interested in group sex or threesomes these days. Thanks for asking me.

Midas: Sad...Would have like to see you in action...What can I do to change your mind?

Me: Spend more time with me one on one. Not just sex. I enjoyed that night when we went to Whole Foods and Jewel and BBB getting your mc products. I liked when you came over and we went to Aurora outlet. Breakfast, dinners (u still haven't cooked for me yet. LOL) I know all that stuff takes time.

Me: In short, invest in me!

Midas: So how do we balance your need and my need?

Me: That is a good question. I know you have a lot going on with work, life, friends, and your own personal time. Maybe we start with a date.

That's where it ended. Where will it go next? Stay tuned.

Summer Hotties

Summer Bunnies - R. Kelly

[Pre-Bridge]
Girl, you know you knock me out
You're a real girl with your looks now baby
Girl you know you knock me out

[Chorus]
*Summer bunnies drive me crazy
(repeat 4 times with ad libs)

[Verse 1]
1,2,3,4 it's time for me to jet
Where ya goin' off to?
The beach, that's a bet
It's summertime so it's time to get a summer bunny

Some of those and I won't call 'em whores
'Cause in the 90s you gotta respect the ladies
So step up to 'em and say, we love you sweet Sadie
That's how you get your true mock on but
Brothers be steppin' up poppin' that sad song

Hey don't I know you from somewhere?
Can we go somewhere to be alone?
I pull up in the lot, pop the trunks
Make their heads bob
And it's sunny so it's time to get a summer bunny

[CHORUS]

[VERSE 2]
It's five o'clock and my voice code is 22
So beep, beep, beep, it's time for me to make a move
I'm on my way to a picnic, we got time
But I wanna be early, fool
So I can catch the new bunnies comin' in
Like the old school

Strollin' the block so I can check the scenery
The sun plays, the day is feelin' good to me
I can just semll the funky beats
You know the flavor in between the sheets

I told my boy Big Al, said just keep it straight
Said, I know I got a novelty to validate
So who's the bunny lookin' sweet like a honeycomb?
He said, "No my brother, you got to get your own"

[CHORUS]

[VERSE 3]
This party is packed, word to the mother
I love it when there's three bunnies to one brother
And wine coolers is what I'm packin'
And when I get my buzz on is when I start bunny-jackin'

Jackin' fools for their bunnies
'Cause I'm the K, the E, the double L, the Y
They wanna get with me
And the PAs in the house
So check, check, check it out

My stomach is growlin' so it's time to get mine on
Some soul food, Kool Aid and you know it's on
I hate to eat and run but I'm out my homie
Been invited to a block party

So we roll up in all our style
With the brothers yellin', summer bunnies

[CHORUS]

[BRIDGE]
Let's break it down -
You're lookin' feel good with your boots on, baby (3 times)

[CHORUS]

R. Kelly is a freaking mess and in light of his disturbing fascination with young girls (which has that even seen the light of day in court yet), I shouldn't be posting his lyrics. But damn was I not thinking of this song the other day.

The weather's getting nicer. And with that nice weather, folks are starting to shed their clothing. I was chatting with Eugene the other day and he was telling me how he can't help but admire the male students and how they're showing off their upper bodies with tight clothing. Every other minute this week it was like...'oooh this hunk this and oooh this hunk that'...*LOL*. He even gets to see them flex in front of him when they visit his office for class related stuff. I envy him in some respects because as a college professor, he has daily access to eye candy that I don't. I mean, don't get me wrong. About 3% of the male work population at my job are "eye candy" worthy. For example, there's this one tall latino faux-security guard in my building that I can't help but "feen" (I think that's a word...*LOL*) over. Luis looks so built in his uniform. We always greet each other when I leave the building and I swear at one point I thought he was trying to holler. I even made up an excuse to chat with Luis a few weeks back hoping for a spark. I got one of those stupid warning work parking tickets for taking up two spots. That was my opportunity. It was only a couple seconds of chatting but damn it was nice seeing him up close and I was so looking for a wedding ring...*LOL*. But I wouldn't take things any further Hemingway. Besides...I'm married....*LOL*. But Luis is the exception to a mostly ugh rule. Eugene has a larger selection to feast his eyes on.

But I'm looking forward to seeing the shirtless hunks jogging around my neighborhood. It's also nice seeing these guys as I'm going about doing my business. It's one of the things I look forward to when summer hits. I'm hoping that winter is officially over since you never know in Chicago.

Hemingway today's my office day. So I'm about to get ready for the job. Hope everyone has a Happy Friday. TGIF.

Follow

Follow - Gary Taylor

[Verse 1]
I'll follow you wherever you go
I'll follow you....forever
I'll follow you and you'll always know
My love for you is...forever

[Verse 2]
I'll follow you to the end of the Earth
I'll follow you...forever
I'll follow you for whatever it's worth
My love for you is...forever

[Verse 3]
I'll follow you for more than a day
I'll follow you...forever
I'll follow you just to hear you say
Your love for me is...forever

I've been mentioning Gary Taylor a lot in my blog lately. Follow is a simple ballad from his first album Compassion. It's a ballad with such few words. The first minute of the song is purely instrumental with an occasional grunt from Gary. It isn't until the one and a half minute mark that you hear Gary's first words. However Gary makes the most of those few words. It's definitely powerful to say that you'll follow someone forever. Can you imagine in real life finding someone that you would do that for (other than family)?

I decided to upload the song via my Jumpcut account so everyone can listen to it. Hemingway I thought of the song earlier today as Rock shared some interesting information.

Hemingway Rock's told me before that he doesn't want to live in Rockford forever. I mean I've been there a few times and I honestly can't say I blame him. When I say the town is boring, I mean it's b-o-r-i-n-g. Okay if you enjoy restaurants and general activities like movies, shopping, etc., then there are some good places to go. But Rockford's a pretty backward area to live in as far as cities. I live in a slightly more progressive burb and even I can't see myself living there forever, even though it's going on 8 years. But this comes from the brother who said he'd leave his job a year ago...so there you go. *LOL*. Speaking of the job, so much is going on there (not sure if it's for the better just yet....but I'll have to blog about that another time).

So yesterday morning Rock mentions that he received a call last night from his close friend Stoney in New York. Stoney mentioned to Rock that an ex-boyfriend of his (Stoney's not Rock's) works for a major accounting firm that's looking for 'black accountants'. Rock seemed pretty excited by the prospect even though nothing's happened yet. Rock said if the money was right, he would immediately jump at the chance to relocate elsewhere. I told Rock I'd follow him wherever he goes...as long as it's not Timbuktu or something. I said it rather quickly and actually a few times we've discussed relocating before I told him the same.

You see, it wasn't long ago I was looking for a change of scenery. I had flirted with the thought of moving to Seattle or Charlotte in the last couple years but the former didn't materialize because I found it boring while the latter didn't mostly because I met Rock. But I totally feel like I'm ready for a new adventure myself. Well I've been ready for a while.

After I hung up with Rock this morning, the gravity of what I said hit me. I'm talking about following a man wherever he goes. It seems so crazy. One only has to think of the back and forth motions Rock and I go through to question the sanity. One week we're doing great, the next we're on the verge of breaking up.

This past Sunday was the first time Rock and I had seen each other in almost three weeks. I actually purposely made myself busy but Rock was determined to meet me. Originally I was supposed to head to Detroit for Easter weekend with Sally but Sally chickened out with the weather and I decided not to risk it myself.

Rock was content to meet me the following weekend but since my trip didn't happen, I told Rock that I would make a quick trip this weekend. So not wanting to go a month without seeing me, he decided he needed to find a way to see me Easter weekend.

One of the issues that was happening though is that Rock was determining when we would see each other. It was advised by my bff Eugene that I purposely make myself unavailable just so I'm not always there at Rock's beck and call. The reasoning being that Rock doesn't always make himself available when I want to see him yet I've always been available for him.

So since I didn't go home Easter weekend, I suggested to Sally that I attend Easter service with her and then we go to lunch afterwards. Sally was game.

I told Rock about my plans and feigned like I forgot that I made them earlier before agreeing to meet with Rock on Sunday, even though I had made the plans with Sally after the fact. But Rock was determined to see me and since he would be out of town this week for work, he wouldn't even be available to meet half way for dinner. Then by the time he got back, I would be making my way to Detroit for the weekend. Note that I've made these same suggestions to Rock weeks earlier but he wasn't "up for seeing me".

So Rock was trying to figure something out and I couldn't bring myself to saying that I wasn't up for seeing him. It was harder since my "non-juice" ass was up for seeing him...*LOL*. So I made the suggestion that maybe he could hang out with Sally and I during lunch. He was game.

So he wound up meeting Sally and I for lunch. He even texted me with the idea of us paying for Sally's lunch. I thought it was a nice gesture on his part. I had mentioned to him Sally's continued search for a new job and how so far things haven't turned up for her. Of course Sally was appreciative that we covered her tab.

Afterwards Rock and I sat in his truck and talked for a few minutes before going our separate ways. It felt like we really missed each other and Rock kept mentioning how he had to see me this weekend since he hadn't seen me prior. He told me later on how inconvenient the afternoon lunch was for him (since he wanted to be back in Rockford early enough to pack for his work trip...him and his early planning and all...*LOL*) but that he wanted to make the extra effort to see me and let me know that he wanted to see me. I reminded Rock how in the first few months of our relationship, we made more of an effort to see each other. He remembered and agreed that we needed to work our way back to that level.

It was a sweet conversation. I swear I wanted to kiss him so bad but since we weren't in boystown or somewhere private, I couldn't. So we just smiled, touched each other's hands, and I left to walk towards my car.

So Hemingway back to the topic at hand. If I were to follow Rock, the next question would be would we live together. Could we live together? Part of me thinks it would be better for us to still live separately initially just so we could get used to having our own space. Then hopefully if we continue progressing, we move in together.

It would probably be better that way initially since neither of us are officially out with our family and friends. I could see my parents (especially my Mom) flipping out if I told her I was moving to live with a guy. It'd be easier to say I'm moving because of a job opportunity. Hmm. I guess until the stock thing takes off I would need to find another job. I'm pretty sure I could find a decent job wherever we go.

It's definitely a big step. I never thought I'd find anyone that I'd even consider doing it with.

So in short, yes, I'd follow Rock wherever he goes. I'll follow Rock...forever.

Borderlined

Borderline - Madonna

[Verse 1]
Something in the way you love me won't let me be
I don't want to be your prisoner so baby won't you set me free
Stop playing with my heart
Finish what you start
When you make my love come down
If you want me let me know
Baby let it show
Honey don't you fool around

Just try to understand, I've given all I can,
'Cause you got the best of me

[Chorus 1]

Borderline feels like I'm going to lose my mind
You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline

Repeat Chorus 1

[Chorus 2]
Keep on pushing me baby
Don't you know you drive me crazy
You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline

[Verse 2]
Something in your eyes is makin' such a fool of me
When you hold me in your arms you love me till I just can't see
But then you let me down, when I look around, baby you just can't be found
Stop driving me away, I just wanna stay,
There's something I just got to say

Just try to understand, I've given all I can,
'Cause you got the best of me

Repeat Chorus 1 twice

Repeat Chorus 2 once

[Bridge]
Look what your love has done to me
Come on baby set me free
You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline
You cause me so much pain, I think I'm going insane
What does it take to make you see?
You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline

Another elliptical record was set today. 10,522 strides. I swear...I don't know what's gotten to me. Maybe it's the hemp seeds I've been recently eating. Apparently they add some essential fatty acids that the human body doesn't produce normally yet is needed. Maybe that's giving me the extra energy.

In sadder news....

I feel like Rock and I are at the borderline of ending things again. We had a horrible fight this morning over the phone. Well it was mostly Rock yelling at me. I was insensitive to his feelings. It wasn't my intention to be but it happened.

He's really been having a hard time dealing with his cousin's death. What made it harder is that he's lost several close friends and four key family members over the course of several years. It took him a while from what he's told me to move past the deaths and whenever anniversary of said deaths occur, his mood can get unpredictable as I've learned. His way of dealing with it is to shut himself off from the world as much as possible. Basically what he coins 'going underground'. He's even contemplating taking a leave from his job.

So obviously our relationship has suffered even more. We don't see each other enough as it is and now he's putting more restrictions on that time because he needs to be by himself. On the one hand I'm trying to be understanding but on the other hand I'm annoyed because our relationship as well as his other relationships are suffering.

So in a fit of rage I basically told Rock that there are folks who miss having him around and if something happens to one of us, how is he going to feel neglecting that relationship. Boy did that set him off. With good reason. Yes I know (even though I'm sure I'll get the comments anyway...*LOL*) it was way harsh. So I let him go off.

He basically told me I was insensitive and until I experience a death close to me that I shouldn't make judgment. He then told me he's gonna do what he has to do so I should go do what I have to do. Then he told me to have a nice day, I wished him the same, and we hung up.

Both of us were on our ways to work and after I hung up I had to stop myself from tearing up. After getting myself together, I decided to immediately call my parents. I should definitely be grateful that they're still around.

As for Rock I'll just have to give him his space. I'll keep everyone posted.

Special People

Special - Gary Taylor (duet with Bridgette Bryant)

[Verse 1 - Gary]
I would like to take a minute of your time just to let you know
How your thoughtfulness, and tender ways
caused my love to grow

And in the evening when I settle down
I have more than just my peace of mind
Knowing you're around

[Chorus]
You’re special – so very special
You're a special part of my life

[Verse 2 - Bridgette]
Can’t explain the feeling that I get when you touch my hand
Cause the love that flows from you to me
Is more than I can stand

And like it’s been said many times before
With everyday that passes by – I’m loving you
more and more and more

[Chorus 2]
You’re special – so very special
You’re a special part of my life
So very special - you're a special part of my life


[Bridge]
Even if the time should come where we should be apart
It won’t bother me – cause you’re right here in my heart
Here’s hoping that the moments shared will always be enough
I know it will - as long as there's love

[Verse 3 - Bridgette and Gary]
I don’t need to know all the answers we’re yet to find
I only want to live for the love you placed on my mind

And like it’s been said so many times before
With everyday that passes by – I’m loving you more and more

[Repeat Chorus 2]

[Bridge 2]
Never had a love so right
gonna love you for the rest of my life - you are -so special

I just want to let you know
you caused my love to grow - you are - so special

I remember when I first heard this song being so excited to hear something new from Gary Taylor. I first heard of Gary in 1992 while listening to a late night radio show. I was in the middle of my Junior year in college still living at home with my parents. The DJ (who I've long forgotten about) played a lot of Gary Taylor's music even though his stuff wasn't considered mainstream. I remembered enjoying listening to Gary early singles and it took me almost a year before I found his album Square One in a local store.

I've blogged about Gary a few times on my blog, the first time doing so when I wasn't as popular of a read. Over the years he released eight albums, most of them via his own independent label Morning Crew records.

So Hemingway I was in the mood to listen to some of Gary's music on the way to work today. I popped in his One Day At A Time CD and listened repeatedly to Special (among other tunes).
Special is the song that I would want to be "our song" if I ever have a civil ceremony.

Of course the song got me thinking of the "special" folks that are in my life. Relationship wise, top on my list is Rock. He and I have had a few challenges over our almost 16-month courtship. We're still working through a few of those. Things were made even more challenging with Rock's close cousin passing away February 12th. Rock's been extra moody and distant, which I guess is understandable. It has taken its toll on the relationship but I'm doing my best to be patient.

I've actually focused on trying to befriend a few more guys on that site. Believe it or not, I've actually met a few cool guys who know that I'm not looking for anything beyond friendship with them, though I admit to being tempted by one...well his pics....*LOL*. I've hung out with one of them a few times already and a second one last weekend. The temptation one forwarded me his resume so I could pass to my job (even though folks have been laid off left and right).

Rock and I haven't seen each other in three weeks. We're planning on hanging out tomorrow and part of Sunday. Rock says he wants to do whatever I want to do. But we'll see. Historically depending on what that something is, he's put up quite the resistance.

I just don't know what his state of mind will be like. Like I said, we haven't seen each other in weeks. The death of his cousin has really rocked him to the core and he hasn't dealt very well with the death. Even prior to that, we also haven't had sex since early January. Even though Rock's assured me that it's just his appetite for sex hasn't been there, I do know he's mentioned liking to be topped and I haven't been able to meet that need. I can't help but wonder if eventually he may meet that need elsewhere. Lord knows the lack of sex has contributed to me feeling tempted at times.

I'm hoping for the best this weekend when we hang out. I rented Why Did I Get Married a few weeks back and hopefully we'll watch it at some point in the weekend. We did want to watch it together since he sees himself as Angela (obviously...*LOL*) and I see myself as a cross between "Patty Perfect" and Sheila. So I think that's one aspect of my plans that won't get vetoed....*LOL*.

In addition to Rock, the other special guy in my life is Eugene. And yeah he's definitely a special case at times. But he definitely has a good heart and has been quite the confidant over the three years we've known each other. He so wants to come back to Chicago so we can go back to Jackhammer's again. I told him he'll have to rent a car so that if he wants to partake in extracurricular activities, I won't stand in his way. I'm a cockblocker reformed...*LOL*.

Even though I'm not as close to my family as I like to be, they're also special to me as well. They've been a part of my life for almost 36 years now. My experiences growing up with them shaped me into the man I am today. I would do anything I could to make their lives easier. In fact, when I come to town next time, I plan of bringing my parents some Hemp seeds (which are supposedly quite beneficial and expensive). The Hemp seeds are said to even help delay Parkinson's Disease symptoms. I've ordered some seeds online and have enjoyed the taste so I'm hoping my parents enjoy them also.

I can't forget Sally and No_The_Game. Sally I've known for over 13 years and we've been there through our ups and downs of life. The greatest moment of course coming when I finally shared a big part of my life with her. No_The_Game, better known on YouTube as Grafinia, has been a great confidant as well. She's my international ambassador and has opened up my world to new possibilities I didn't think I'd ever be part of.

And I can't forget all my fellow bloggers. Actually I'm planning on attending the "Blogging Without Borders" family reunion this coming April sponsored by Mr. Jones and Mr Darius. That should definitely be fun.

Hope everyone has a good weekend and take the time to remember all the special people in your life.

P.S....Thank goodness for YouTube. Here's some videos featuring the talented Gary Taylor, the main inspiration behind getting my lazy ass to blog today.

Blind To It All


Love Dance


Hold Me Accountable

Mailing My Heart

Sending My Love - Zhané

[Chorus 1]

If I could mail my heart
Right to you, I would
I'd pack it up
Seal it tight
And I'd send it over night

[Verse 1]

Every time I hear your voice
And I look into your eyes
Sends a burning sweet sensation
Oh, inside of me

The look in your eyes
Has found me
I am sending

Sending my love to you
Praying that you are home
Sealing it with a kiss
Sending my love

Sending my love to you
Praying that you are home
Sealing it with a kiss
Sending my love

[Chorus 2]

With my heart in your hands
I'm as helpless as a baby
I'm in desperate need of your love
So just send it right away

[Verse 2]

I've been thinking 'bout you, boy
Because you're so far way
Makes me want to send you all this love
Inside of me

The look in your eyes
Has found me
I am sending

Sending my love to you
(Baby I am waiting)
Praying that you are home
(For you to come home to me)
Sealing it with a kiss
(Uh huh)
Sending my love
(Sending my love)

Sending my love to you
(Sending my love)
Praying that you are home
(When you come home)
Sealing it with a kiss
(With a kiss)
Sending my love
(Sending my love)

[Repeat Chorus 1]

I wonder what became of Zhané. Hemingway I was listening to the song and had the craziest thoughts. What if I literally mailed my heart to Rock? First off, I'd need someone to remove it from my chest. I'm a bit squeamish about self mutilation. So then say I had someone remove my heart. Assumedly once this is done, I would die. Then I'd have to trust that the person does what's instructed. They'd have to pack it up, seal it tight, and overnight it to Rock.

Then I'm imagining what Rock would do when he received the package. I could imagine unless my heart is freeze dried that the blood would be spilling all over. Rock would probably freak out, throw the package away, and call me. He'd wonder why I never answered the night before but remember I'm dead. So he would worry, send a search party for me, and then kill whoever removed my heart.

So no I guess literally mailing your heart to someone isn't the greatest of ideas. Maybe I'll mail someone else's heart. *LOL*...just kidding.

No Ordinary Sub

No Ordinary Love - Sade

[Verse 1]
I gave you all the love I got
I gave you more than I could give
I gave you love
I gave you all that I have inside
And you took my love
You took my love

Didn't I tell you
What I believe
Somebody say that
A love like that won't last
Didn't I give you
All that I've got to give baby

I gave you all the love I got
I gave you more than I could give
I gave you love
I gave you all that I have inside
And you took my love
You took my love

[Chorus]
I keep crying
I keep trying for you
There's nothing like you and I baby

This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love
This is no ordinary love
No ordinary love

[Verse 2]
When you came my way
You brightened every day
With your sweet smile

Didn't I tell you
What I believe
Did somebody say that
A love like that won't last
Didn't I give you
All that I've got to give baby

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
Keep trying for you
Keep crying for you
Keep flying for you
Keep flying

I'm falling I'm falling

Keep trying for you
Keep crying for you
Keep flying for you
Keep flying and I'm falling

and I'm falling

Whatever did happen to Sade? She sorta disappeared for a minute there. I know if I'm feeling depressed, next to Phyllis Hyman, I typically pop a Sade CD.

This post is work related so you know I'm depressed. First of all, I'm still there. *LOL* As if that's not depressing enough, headquarters is moving further away. As much as the current building grated, I'll admit to missing it. If nothing else, I'll miss the 35 minute commute, which was not too long but not too short.

I was reminded today of another thing I'll miss. There's this particular Subway that I frequent more than any others. The funny thing about Subway's is that no two locations are ever alike. One location I liked the staff but the sub's were average. Another location the staff was bad but the prices of subs were a little cheaper. Yet another location the prices were higher but the sub's tasted great. But this location I'm blogging about has it all. Great staff, fair prices, delicious subs.

In the couple years I've gone there (and actually I should buy a franchise as often as I go there), I've taken a liking to the tuna sub. It just tastes so fresh and good. I usually include the same toppings on my subs too. Cucumbers, carrots, green peppers, onions, gardenaria (at least that's how I think it's spelled), a dash of honey mustard, oil, and vinegar on a honey oat bun. I match it with Baked Lays.

In fact I order the same sub so much that they even get my sub started before I walk into the restaurant. Now how's that for service. One of the ladies there gets it down exactly right, the others almost get it right but I have to tell them to hold the cheese. They do all this and I barely have to utter a word.

Today in particular was wild. I was parking my car and this one lady in a big ass truck parks and is about to get out of her truck. She gives me this look as she steps out of her truck and then sets the alarm. I see her racing to get in as I get out of my car. So she gets in first and I follow momentarily later. So Hemingway the lady who always wants to include the cheese gets started on my sub. Needless to say I get ahead of the other lady.

All she could do was look with envy as I completed my order before another person half way started hers. I thanked my server, pumped my head up in the air, smirked, and walked with an air of confidence back to my ride. "See ya wouldn't want to be ya!!!!!"

I'm so going to miss that Subway when our company moves. I'm thinking of writing a thank you letter to the owner of this Subway telling them how much I appreciate their workers going the extra mile for me. Of course it's easier when I order the same thing but the fact that they can even remember what I order considering the hundreds of people that come in there daily makes me feel good. It actually is one of the highlights of my workday.

In light of all the bad service I've received from time to time that seems to be the rule, they have been the true exceptions. They give new meaning to the word 'customer service'.

Bet noone thought I'd be blogging about Subway...title aside:-)