Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Libra Trio

I'm looking forward to my 33rd birthday. Yes I'm a Libra. I decided to take a trip to the west coast. My destination....Seattle. I know I want to see the Space Needle (that's pretty much the tourist standard spot...*LOL*) but outside of that, I don't have any solid plans on things to do. I think seafood is pretty popular out there so I'll definitely be feasting on a few crabs & lobsters & shrimp & scallops & well you get the idea. I fly out the morning of my birthday, October 15th, and return to Chicago on the 18th. If anyone has any ideas, let me know. I'll probably do some research in the next week or so.

I had a training class today, which in a way was like a break from work but not quite...*LOL*. The topic was on one of those soft skill sets...Internal Consulting. The instructor was a cool sista (we don't have too many of those in the training department at my company so that made me notice...*LOL*) who definitely seemed to know her stuff and engaged the class in participating. The gist of the class is to present ways to better interact with our customers within the corporation. I have one more day of class. Wee.

In other news, I went out during lunch yesterday and picked up Toni Braxton's latest effort titled Libra. (Toni's also a Libra. Her birthday is on the 9th.) I was a bit dismayed to see that the CD I picked up at Target only had 10 tracks. Of course, it was on sale for $9.99 so I couldn't complain much. I still thought it was a mistake or a different edition CD since Amazon claimed there was 12 tracks. So after work I went to Best Buy and Walmart and both had the album with 10 tracks. Guess Amazon was wrong. Unless someone out there has the one with 12 tracks I'm gonna scream...PLEASE! (Heh...had to throw that in there.) Fortunately since I purchased my CD at Target, I was able to download a bonus song.

Since Mariah released the comeback album of 2005, my hope was that Toni would also come back strong this year. Her last CD, More Than A Woman, was okay but it didn't to me exemplify the type of music that made her a force to be reckoned with in the early 90s. Does she recapture that magic with Libra? Here's my unbiased review.

The total running time of her CD barely makes the 40 minute mark. That was disappointing, though the bonus downloaded song made the total jump up to a little over 44 minutes. Better. The CD starts out with the single Please that's been out for a minute now. When I first heard it months back, I thought it was a bit too radio friendly. It took me a couple listens but now I can say that I enjoy the track and it's a good way to start the CD. The next song, Trippin', which is rumored to be the 2nd single released, sounds cool, though it reminded me a bit of Usher's You Got It Bad. Nonetheless the song's mellow and it gives Toni some acrobatic exercises to do with her voice, which is nice to hear. The rest of her album was a bit of hit or miss for me. If you compare it to Mariah's, there's no contest. Mariah wins hands down. Toni just seemed to play it safe this CD, not really belting any of the songs. She mostly does this breathy singing that just scratches the surface of her true talents. None of the songs, other than Please (barely), are that memorable. It didn't help that Take This Ring (which potentially could've been another single..and it still might...*LOL*) sounded like the bastard child of Amerie's One Thing and the lyrics didn't make sense to boot. "I'm gonna take off this ring but don't tell nobody?" What does that mean? Is she stepping out on her man or something? It was confusing. To her credit, the producer of that song also worked on Amerie's song. Variety is the spice of life people!

So no, I don't consider this the comeback album for Toni. It does let us know she's still alive, though, and for that it gives me hope that maybe she'll get it right next album. I think if you're a diehard Toni fan, like myself, you should add it to your collection. If not, you could probably wait until you can get a used copy at Amazon. I still love you Toni and I'll still support ya.

Speaking of Libras, my Mom's birthday is on the 2nd. I went and got her some fresh homemade snacks in a basket. I hope she enjoys it. I may make a surprise visit next weekend as well. Unfortunately I can't this weekend. At the risk of quoting a Spice Girls song....'Mama, I Love You! Mama, I care!'

Toni, Mama, and me. We're quite the Libra trio...heh!

Monday, September 26, 2005

Outside My Reality

I was stoked to see the original members of En Vogue back together again tonight. They were performing along with Salt & Pepa their 1993 hit Whatta Man. Wow...I can't believe that song's 12 years old. How time flies. I'm peeved though because I tried recording it but neither of my VCRs would co-operate with me. Hopefully someone out there recorded the performance and have the file available on-line soon. I may have to check out some of the fan sites as I'm sure they're making screen captures. All I can say is En Vogue was on fire (still fine as hell...yes, I can appreciate an attractive woman...*LOL*). I really hope this means that their reunion album is a reality.

Speaking of reality, my reality is a bit dull right now. I've been taking a back seat on the relationship crap & work's busy as usual. Nothing really fascinating there. I'm sure I'll have some new stories soon. However, some of my fellow bloggers have some interesting entries you might want to check out.

I know I'm taking a break from relationships but Ms. Holiday is tackling relationships head-on this week in her blog. She'd like us all to share our two cents on the topic. Tonight's focus is on the issues. So far there's been a couple insightful responses to her frank post. I'm sure you all may have more to share. Check her out!

My boy Jamal Franklin recently concluded his two-part interview with another blogger, the incomprehensible (I mean, err, incomparable...sorry...*LOL*) Trent Jackson. The interview touches a bit on both individual's lives as well as what drew them into blogging in the first place. It tells a lot but leaves a lot to the imagination. You just have to check it out to get a sense of what I'm saying. And don't forget to hit Trent's site afterwards. Rumor has it he's filming his own reality TV show in a matter of days. Talk about them apples! I'm just sure he'll have plenty of stuff to share regarding that. And it'll just be another show I'll have to schedule to watch...*LOL*.

Be sure to give my fellow bloggers some love! I'll be back real soon...:-)

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Reality Junkie

Hi. My name is E and I have a problem. I'm addicted to reality TV. It started out innocent enough. A Survivor episode here, The Mole episode there. (Awwww...I miss The Mole. That was my show damn it!) I've come to the realization that 80% of my viewing habits involves some element of reality TV.

Let's take earlier this year. VH1, a station I hardly watched much in the past, premiered two reality TV shows that put the focus on objectifying males. Needless to see, I became VH1's bitch! I'm talking about Kept and Strip Search. Of the two shows, Kept was actually the more interesting one. The concept behind the show was that Jerry Hall was on this quest to find her "kept" man, a job with unclear expectations as was seen when she ultimately chose the most uncouth & unkept man of all, Seth. A friend of mine who I debated on this (yeah the things I debate about...*LOL*) told me that her choice of Seth made sense because despite his unorthodox behavior, he was the only one that made her laugh & got the real Jerry to come out. I saw his point, maybe, but why go through all those bullshit exercises saying that a kept man must do this and must do that if she winds up picking someone who didn't even try on most of his tasks. Tasks that were deemed things a "kept" man is supposed to do. I had a mad crush on Devonric & if it were me, he would've been the one I chose. I mean...look at him:

Ok fine. I suppose he may not have been the most articulate person in the group. And yes, CONVERSATE is not a word...*LOL*. But I'm sure with some polishing and such, he'd have been perfect.

Or maybe it was my wishful thinking...*LOL*. I love ya anyway D, even though you don't know me from Adam.

You'd think a show titled Strip Search would be interesting. But it wound up being the most boring dreck created. Yet I couldn't look away. It was like one of those train wrecks that you can't help but watch. The mistakes were plenty. They spent two episodes focusing on the selection process Billy and some chick I can't remember had regarding potential strippers. Who freaking cares? Then it seemed like they picked guys for the drama factor. It was hilarious hearing some of these guys act like stripping for a living was their biggest dream ever. Plus these guys were so melodramatic, you'd think you were in a sorority. Billy's reasons for eliminating guys was so bogus. For example, two of the guys he dropped because of their kid issues. Basically the guys expressed how much they missed them (although hello, it's not like you'll never see them again. Get a grip...*LOL*). The thing is Billy knew they had family so to use that as an excuse to kick them off was stupid. Gah...but glued to my TV I was through it all so they must've done something right...*LOL*.

Then just as those two series were ending. VH1 threw a triple punch with Surreal Life 5, Hogan Knows Best, and Celebrity Fit Club 2. Fortunately Hogan's show wasn't that compelling to me but I got sucked into SL5 and CFC2. My favorites on CFC2 were Victoria Jackson & Toccara of America's Next Top Model fame. The latter looked hotter and hotter as the weeks went by. It was cool seeing her sashaying across the walkway like it was a runway. The show, of course, added its own elements of drama. I guess they do whatever it takes to reel viewers in.

Then there's SL5. I knew it'd be crazy when they included nutjobs Janice Dickinson (another ANTM alum and claims to be the world's first supermodel) and Omarosa (Apprentice 1 reject.). Toss in Balki from Perfect Strangers and Jose Conseco and you have the makings for nutty TV. Since Surreal Life moved to VH1, the series has an annoying habit of showing only 5-10 minutes of new footage while airing the same ol' crap they already shown at least two or three times. They're milking it for all it's worth, which actually when it comes right down to it, ain't worth much.

To make things worse, Apprentice is back. But it's not one version but two. What's a reality junkie to do? Watch them both I guess. Along with America's Next Top Model. Good grief. Talk about reality overload. Maybe it's about time I focus on my reality...:-)


Saturday, September 24, 2005

In The Deep

At the risk of sounding Like A Virgin (heh...I lost that right for the very first time a couple years ago), I feel like I've been through the wilderness and I'm just now making it through. For a bit over a week I've been battling a cold/flu. Everytime I thought I was getting better, it'd keep coming back. It was an endless battle using Tylenol, NyQuil, and Theraflu, the latter two actually store chain knock-offs of the originals. But hey, they say they have the same ingredients and it's a couple dollars cheaper so why not, right?

I think I made a breakthrough yesterday evening & it appears to still be on. My breakthrough, that is. I took a couple Tylenol anyway last night and this morning (and again one Tylenol tonight...*LOL*...I hope I'm not getting addicted.) just to be safe but I think other than a little phlegm in the throat, I've broken the fever cycle hopefully. I'm gonna hit the sack early tonight anyway just for good measure.

I appreciate everyone's comments on my latest entry. I appreciate them for all my entries but for my last one I really give thanks. I think because of them and sharing my thoughts, I took the time to have a bit more fun at the bowling alley last night. I adjusted my attitude and enjoyed my present company. I didn't take any comments regarding my bowling personally nor did I stress too much about my performance. I chatted with a co-employee I hadn't seen in a minute and just tried to enjoy myself. I think it worked. Then again, Reid wasn't there...*LOL*. But alas, even Reid is fun to hang out with. He's just arrogant and blunt sometimes. But behind that, he's a really nice guy. Otherwise I wouldn't be hanging out with him as much as I do. Aside from the fact that we work at the same job...*LOL*.

My average shot up 23 pins. Big shocker..except not! My series was 138, 177, 191. So I now have a 145 average after two weeks.

So I'm just chilling out tonight. I'm probably gonna hit the sack after posting this entry. To celebrate my mini-victory, I had my favorite Lou Malnati's pizza w/ ice cream. Funny, that was my "pity party" food too. I guess it works for any occasion.

I'm in one of those stupid Columbia House DVD club. So my latest order arrived tonight. Just in time. I ordered Ring II, Guess Who, and Crash. Guess which one I saw tonight?

Yep, I had to see Crash again. Can you believe my eyes welled up again when the little girl, an up and coming actress named Ashlyn Sanchez was thought to be shot by the store owner, actor Shaun Toub. Yeah, Internet Movie Database is a god-send. *LOL*. Larenz Tate's character had this look in his final scene that was like, 'why you do that man'?

It was really gripping the second time around. And I love the theme that was playing near the end. Bird York, who I've never heard of before but apparently is an actress (the things you learn on IMDB...*LOL*), has a haunting yet sultry voice as she sings the movie's theme song, In The Deep. The song is sad yet it seems to let you know that all's not lost. It's that message that I think we need to hear while living this crazy thing called life. It's very beautifully done and I'm actually thinking about picking up her CD. I wouldn't have even thought about it were it not for the movie.

So yeah I'm ending tonight on a hopeful note. I want you all to feel the same way. At the risk of sounding clichey, nah who cares?

If someone done you wrong, they ain't SHIT anyway. If your job's a bitch, screw them! Collect your $200 and go party like it's 1999...or chill!

Better days are coming. I truly believe that. I have to. That's what gets me through the wilderness. And that's what's finally is going get me through.


Wednesday, September 21, 2005

I Scream, You Scream, We Scream, Bowling

Last Thursday began my seventh season bowling at my company's league. There's actually two different leagues at different locations. For the first three seaons, I've bowled at one league due to the proximity of my office. I still recall my frequent 80 and 90 pin games during the first season or two. That seemed so long ago. By the beginning of the third, my average peaked in the 130s & folks in the league were commenting left and right on my improvement.

I think bowling was more exciting back then. Whenever I would strike, I would scream like a banshee and jump up and down back to my seat. Some of my fellow bowlers looked aghast whenever I did that, especially when they're about to throw a ball. Others would get a kick out of it. My screams were legendary.

I kid you not. It got to the point that folks would know when I'm not bowling by my screams. At least that's what my team teased me about the rare week I wasn't bowling.

My most memorable scream moment occurred during one of our last games of the evening. It was down to the tenth frame and we were behind like about 20 pins (Yeah! Yeah! Typical scenario every round but whatever...*LOL*). I only had one other teammate playing with me, our third was absent. Both of us bowled like shit but then again so did the other team yet with three players, they had the edge. I think I had a spare in the ninth. So Hemingway, I throw my first ball and it's a strike. Cue in the screaming and jumping. (You know you wanna hear it...*LOL*) One of the ladies bowling in the next lanes wondered if we won. I shrugged my shoulders. I threw my next ball and it was also a strike. Cue in the screaming and jumping yet again. Could I end on a turkey? I threw my last ball but unfortunately it was off & I only knocked 6 pins, bringing my score to 114. So my former co-worker, now co-employee, went up and threw her first ball. She got a strike. I screamed for her...*LOL*. She then throws her next ball and gets another strike. By this time I'm delirious with joy. She then messes up her last ball and picks up 4 pins. I forget her final score and she'll have to write her own blog to share it with you...*LOL*. But we wound up winning the game by 2 pins. That was freaky.

Near the end of my third season bowling, I was part of a group that was transferred to another office further north. As a result, I wound up bowling at the other company sponsored league. Around my second season at the new league (year 5 of bowling), I lost my legendary scream. Whenever I striked, I would just coolly walk back to my seat and give no reaction. For those who were used to my ranting and raving, it was a bit of a shock. Even to this day, folks will come up to me and want to hear me scream for old times sake.

And now, the 2005-2006 bowling season finds me back at the league I started at. A few of the people I bowled with from the beginning are still there. During the expedition game, one of the old timers came up to me and said, you must not be bowling too good. Any guesses why? *LOL*

It's gonna be an interesting season being back at my old alley. I wonder how I can bring that joy back into bowling. I enjoy the game but now that Ive peaked at a 159 average (although I had a 123 average my first week...sandbagging at its best, baby...*LOL*), I don't know. That old magic seems gone. Maybe it's the crappy rules this particular league has. Maybe it's the constant critiquing people give on my bowling (although it's mostly Reid...*LOL*). Maybe it's my worrying about other issues going on in my life. Whatever it is, it's not the same.

But maybe I can find that muse again. Try to find the true fun in bowling and let it all hang out. Will I? Can I? My, oh my!

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Call Of The Divas

The following public service announcement starring Oprah, known as O, and eric g., henceforth known simply as E transpires:

(O's currently in a cranky mood.): "Bitch knows those tits ain't real. How dare she says I can't sing. Who do they think sung the soundtrack to my own show that one season? Moi, Oprah! Okay! Hello?"

(E's feeling a bit annoyed. And yeah, that's really Huey from the Boondocks...*LOL*): "Didn't I tell you to behave? I can't take you anywhere. Besides, we're on the air."

: "We are? Why do I have to do a public service announcement about something they won't let me sing at? Don't they know who I am? It's like I'm reliving Hermes all over again. Watch me take them down, on the next Oprah."

(E's lying through his teeth.): "Chill out O! I didn't want to tell you this but the reason they didn't want you to sing this year (he snides under his breath...'or any year' ) was because they needed your strong hypnotic presence to millions of viewers of your fine show to convince them to attend this worthy charity event and to also appoint you to, umm, man the buffet hall."

(O gets excited while maintaining a cranky stance.) : "Man the buffet hall? That's such an honor. I'm the perfect man, I mean woman, for the job. So where's that script?

(E hands O her script while O does breathing exercises to get ready.)

"Hello everyone! I'm Oprah, as if you didn't know that, my gullib-uh, I mean faithful viewers. I'm here to tell you all about an event that's taking place in L.A. soon. It's called Divas Simply Singing and the b-, I mean, diva featured on the poster on top of this message is none other than the beautiful Sheryl Lee Ralph." (O rolls her eyes.) "Why I got to call her beautiful?"

(E sighs before shooting O a dirty look.): "Hemingway, I still remember her playing waitress Ginger on the 80's sitcom, It's A Living. Plus I recall her performance in the Denzel Washington flick The Mighty Quinn. I think she even sang a couple songs off that LP. And who can forget her run-ins on Moesha with the diva-in-training Brandy? I think I remember reading about the tension between the two. Then again, it may have been between Countess Vaughn and Brandy. Let me stop starting rumors.

So Hemingway, Sheryl Lee Ralph founded an organization in 1990 called the Diva Foundation. This organization was founded in honor of all those close to Sheryl that she lost to HIV and AIDS. As part of an annual event to raise money for AIDS research, Ralph gathers up several other divas and they rock the house down. This event, appropriately titled Divas Simply Singing, is in its 15th year. Tell em' when and where it's taking place, O."

:"Sure thing, E. Divas, minus the talented O, Simply Singing is on Saturday, October 8th at 7:30 PM. It'll be held at:
Wilshire Ebell Theatre
4401 West 8th Street

Los Angeles, CA , again, that's Wilshire Ebell Theatre at 4401 West 8th Street in LA. Be there or be square."

(E points towards an empty hallway.) : "Oh my god, O. I just saw John Travolta, Julia Roberts, and Tom Cruise walking over there and they were waving at you."

:"They were? Oh my!! They're like my bestest friends evah. Gotta go!" (With that, O has left the building.)

:"Now that O has left the building, let's talk about two divas who really do know how to sing. Now remember these divas:

Wouldn't they be a good addition to this event? Both ladies clearly display diva-ish behavior on Half & Half. They both have singing talent. Valarie has performed for this event in 2002 and 2004. So odds are good that she may perform this year. Telma never has (to my knowledge anyway) but it'd be cool if she did. It'd be even cooler if they did their act together.

If you want to see these divas perform live at this event, email this request to:

A friend of mine in LA has tickets to the event and seeing especially Valarie would be a dream come true. Check out the website and if you'll be in the LA area, October 8th, be sure to check it out. There's also ticket information as well. That concludes my PSA for today."


Friday, September 16, 2005

Frequent Blog Spots!!!

The Blog All-Star List:

Ms. Holiday ... Big Marz ... Bernard Bradshaw
Princess Dominque ......... Mr. Maurice
Marlon ... . .. .. HoustonNY.................. Phillybred
........ProfessorGQ..........Mad Black Man
Essequibo.............Karamale..........Eclectic Soul
....Heartbreaker............That Girl
Stone...............The Company Bitch............Trent
..........Cash S................. Virginia Slim
Mr. X ..............Rodney MD...........Clay Cane
.....Valentino.............. Harold Gibson
No Game Team........ Taylor................ Chase
.....Georgia Peach .........Ladynay
Norris.................Sweet Rose............... Madosi
..........D R and CP.............. ShawnQt
Shawn............... "N" Search................ Mr. Death
.........No4Real4Real .....Timothy
Jamal............Elsie ...............lj

All Felt Out

I'm done feeling anything for Aaron. He's unfortunately proven to be another brutha full of shit. They all give you the signs. You just have to recognize them and heed them.

The biggest sign that he may be unstable and unreliable was the Sunday that he intentionally blew me off. The excuses he gave for doing so may have been valid to him but they were such bullshit.

Excuse #1 he gave for blowing me off was that he thought I needed some time alone. How do you dictate what I need? You don't fucking know me. I told him that I was still willing to meet him and I just needed to take care of closing my credit card account. You know, protecting my credit does take higher priority than meeting a potential prick. I mean, date.

Excuse #2 he gave for blowing me off was that he was put off by my mentioning I had a date the Saturday before. I will admit I probably shouldn't have been so cavalier about it. But tell me the Friday evening he had with "a friend" wasn't a date? Even if it was really with a friend, surely he's juggled dates before and had to tell a little white lie so that the jilted date wouldn't feel bad. The most I'm guilty of was being too honest with him.

Excuse #3 he gave for blowing me off was that he thought I was lying about being robbed at Bally's & was using that as a way to break the date. First off, as I said in Excuse #1, I was still willing to meet him. Also even if you thought I was lying about it, the right thing to do would've been to ask. He could've asked playfully if he was worried I was gonna blow up, which I probably would've if he accused me of such over the phone.

Bottomline...he had given me a sign right there. But all it took was the word 'Hi...' (and for the 3rd time, yeah, he left the three dots afterwards...*LOL*) three days later, and I was all fascinated with him again.

I'm such a moron.

But when he does eventually call me. And trust me, I know he will. They all do. It may be a month or a year from now. The point is when he calls, I'm just going to act cool and collected. I'm not going to let him know how upset he had me or how much power he had over my thoughts. No I won't give him that satisfaction. If he wants to go out with me again, I'll see if I have time but he won't be my highest priority anymore. I will be aloof and guarded so I won't fall for his game. I know I should just cut him off but as Ms. Holiday said, it's all for fun anyway. There's plenty of fish in the sea & he'll be just a tiny guppie in my date book.

Where's my keys? I need to go to work.

Oh yeah, if you read my random thoughts, you probably saw that I was supposed to have a dental appointment. I did have one set for this morning. Unfortunately I have a bad cough and sore throat from the fever I was fighting on Tuesday so I cancelled and rescheduled. I didn't want to be coughing while he's working on my teeth...*LOL*.


Hey, Where's My Kandi?

Whatever happened to Kandice Burguss?

Kandi's more famously known as being 1/4 of R&B female group Xscape. The group released three CDs before eventually disbanding. The first album, Hummin' Comin' at Cha (such language...*LOL*) , included hit singles Just Kicking It, Understanding (I still get chills hearing that song), and Is My Living In Vain. Their second album, Off the Hook, included the singles Do You Want To, Feels So Good, and Who Do I Run To. I'm not gonna lie. I really can't remember much about their third CD Traces Of My Lipstick except that it wasn't really publicized. I don't even remember any of the singles from that album. It was also around the time that the group disbanded.

Kandi started getting a bigger name for herself penning several killer songs for artists like Destiny's Child, TLC, and Mimi (that's Mariah Carey...*LOL*).

I started thinking about Kandi when listening to her only solo release, Hey Kandi. You can say I was feeling her songs based on my current mood. 80% of her songs contain the same theme about how men are dogs & how game recognizes game. While they're all the same theme, I do enjoy the different variations on the songs.

For example, she took it a step further and went pig latin on a brother in the song What I'm Gon' Do To You. Here is the pig latin:

I'may ongay eakbray ouryay ecknay if I
atchcay ouyay oybay.
Did you understand that? I thought so.
I'may ongay ustbay ouryay utsnay if I
atchcay ouyay oybay.

Now I had to figure out how to read pig latin in order to understand what the heck she's saying, though I just enjoyed hearing it for years without thinking about the meaning. I found out the meaning recently and woo, don't cross this bitch..:-)

I'm gonna break your neck if I
catch you boy.
I'm gonna bust your nuts if I
catch you boy.

I had to make sure my nuts were still there after hearing those words. She does give good ideas, though...:-) She must've been going through some shit when releasing that album because every song was about cutting a cheating brother. Then she had me rolling with the song I Won't Bite My Tongue. I was thinking, girl, you weren't biting it since you began, so why bite it now. *LOL* It basically disses a brother who she thought was packing & would turn her out in bed, but was done before she could get over.

So anyway, she has a great voice and its a shame she hasn't released a follow-up LP. I'd be curious if she'd stick to the same theme or venture beyond it.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Drive Bys

I have no updates regarding you know who to share tonight so since I've been seeing some random thoughts shared by a number of bloggers, I thought I'd share mine tonight:

  • Are random thoughts truly random when you're straining to put a list of those thoughts together? Ooooh, was that the 'fly of September' that flew by me. Okay, maybe they are...:-)
  • Why aren't the Chicago area Subway's featuring the buffalo chicken sub I've been reading about on other blogs?
  • I really need to find my swat.
  • Why do I always get comments about my bowling style each time I throw my ball?
  • Damn. I forgot I had a dental appointment tomorrow.
  • I have to get my canned goods ready to give for the "hurricane drive" my job is having tomorrow.
  • Now that fly is just tormenting me.
  • I never knew Danni Minogue sung the hot 80's hit "Baby Love". Trying to find out who sung it drove me crazy for years.
  • The Supreme's have a different version of Baby Love.
  • I'm feeling Clay Cane's comments regarding you know who.
  • Damn, he's on my mind again.
  • Why can't I be emotionally detached like my friend Eugene?
  • Ooooh..that damn fly.
  • I haven't had my Miracle Greens yet.
  • Good workout tonight.
  • Ooh baby, anytime my world gets crazy, all I have to do, to calm it, is just think of you.
  • Why ain't I calm?
  • I'm about to go drink my Miracle Greens.
  • Why do I still recognize people on the streets after not seeing them for years when they don't recognize or acknowledge me?
  • How are the folks in North Carolina coping with Ophelia?
  • When's the next natural disaster?
  • How about the next terrorist threat?
  • Ok...I really have to get that fly.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

That Fuckwad!

I swear. I knew it was too good to be true. It's over before we even began. Yeah, I'm talking about Aaron.

Can you believe what that fucker did? I'll tell you what he did.

Just kidding!!! (I think.) Of course, I may have to renege that joke. Actually I haven't heard a peep from Aaron since our magical night. I called him when I got home and got his voicemail. I figured he fell asleep but the cynical side of me figured he had a bootycall. I left him an e-card Sunday morning, which he received later in the day.

And now it's Tuesday. And I'm fighting a fever. (I joked with Eugene that I may be lovesick...he's having fun because he thinks I'm tripping.) But I ain't tripping. Much...*LOL*. I know Aaron is starting his dual full-time jobs this week so I'm sure it's kicking his butt. But he claims he doesn't work Wednesday and Thursday nights. He better call by then because if I call a second time, that'll be just pathetic.

It looks like I may have been the one played.

Hopefully I won't be humming Another Sad Love Song anytime soon...*LOL*.

Video provided by VideoCodes4U


Monday, September 12, 2005

The Other Half...And Half

They were the inspiration for part of the name of my blog. I'll assume that you've heard of the show before. If not, here's a synopsis that I did when I first started this blog. Although I don't know why I added Tit & Tat. Maybe Mona's tatas...*LOL*.

Next Monday will be the 4th season of the "NAACP's most nominated, never taking home the prize", comedy series. Each subsequent season after the 1st got better and better. Some of the plot directions have been questionable when seen in ink but once executed by the actors on the show, they turn out to be better than expected. Case in point, Season 2's BDD pregnancy. Typically pregnancies on any TV show are introduced in the later seasons when writers run out of plot devices for the main characters. So it came as a shock when that plotline was introduced in its sophomore season. They even had a lame cliffhanger where they made it seem like LDD was the one pregnant. (I love the show, by the way, but I still call it when they mess up...*LOL*)

Two things saved that season from its potential early shark jump. The main one being Valarie Pettiford. I swear if I didn't have a wonderful mother already, I would love her to be mine. She manages to act the hell out of any scenes that she's in. The best part is when she's volleying one-liners with Telma Hopkins's character Phyllis. The other thing that saved it was the additional plots that seem very close to real life. Mona especially finally seemed to have things go right for her while LDD struggled a bit. Adam also began appearing in more and more episodes, which added to the comedy gold. Getting back to the pregnancy, the way the birth was protrayed on the show had to be one of the most realistic ones I've seen. (Well, not that I remember seeing any.) At least from what I'm told a birth is like.

The risks didn't end with Season 2. Season 3 decided to toss an element of reality TV to the mix. Granted Half & Half have employed a roster of guest reality TV stars over the years, including those from Real World, The Bachelor(ette), and Survivor just to name a few. However, they took it a step further and decided to have an "American Idol" like type challenge where viewers at home had the opportunity to hand in tapes for a chance at a recording contract with Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis & appear live on the show. They managed to incorporate it into the show by having Mona, who works at Delicious Records, come up with the concept. They even incorporated different contestant tapes into the episodes between scenes. It culminated into a two-part conclusion where JJ & TL guest-starred and ultimately selected a winner from the five finalists selected. The concept could've bombed big-time depending on how it was handled but was once again they scored.

So what do they have in store for Season 4? The writers at Half & Half are once again stepping to the plate and coming up with an original idea. According to Entertainment Weekly, Mona will join Miss Holiday, Rod, Tim, Lady In Satin, and numerous other bloggers out in the blog world by writing her own blog. The plan is for the show to actually have a live blog so that fans can leave comments and such regarding episodes. It's another risk once again but it shows how they manage to apply real-life scenarios to the show.

Of course, another season means another Mother's Day episode. Those always are a treat, especially in the end when Telma & Valarie perform a song. Season 1 had them singing in a spa lounge. Season 2 had them singing at a Mother's Day brunch. Season 3 had them singing at a telethon. I can't wait to see what they come up with for Season 4.

I for one definitely look forward to the new season. I may even comment on an episode or two in my blog and I suppose I may sneak into the "H&H" blog planned. I just hope they don't ask me to change my blog title...*LOL*.

Well, it's that time. I'm about to catch the Season 3 finale of Half & Half.


Sunday, September 11, 2005

It's Cupid, Stupid

I don't believe this. I may have found "The One". Of course, I'm once again putting the cart before the horse. I really need to stop that! I'll probably be writing on Tuesday how Aaron is this fuckwad asshole that doesn't deserve the honor of being cried over.

I've seen that story in too many blogs. How someone thinks that person could be the one and then -- *poof* -- something happens and then it's all over. Just as quickly as it started.

But when you do find the one. It's like, oh my gosh, magical. Right? But I wouldn't know. Or would I?

Before you commit me to an insane asylum (though you have to catch me first...*LOL*), I'm referring to Aaron. Yeah that Aaron. We met yesterday after a lot of back and forth on the phone. We hung out for a little over 8 hours. And yeah, he could be the "One".

Earlier before meeting him, I went to the mall in order to pick up some new threads. It was crazy but I wanted to be wearing something new when meeting Aaron. He considers himself a bit of a fashion maverick and I wanted to be equally impressive in that area.

Unfortunately I couldn't find much that caught my eye at Carson's or J.C. Penney's. The few items that did were all in XL and XXL. I'm a big fan of fashions for everyone but are they telling me I need to gain 30 pounds in order to buy fashionable clothes? I do buy a couple shirts and a jacket, but they're more for work than play. I finally went to my trustworthy Target (heh) and found two nice small t-shirts (I usually wear medium or large to hide my body but I wanted to 'slut' it a bit...*LOL*), one in gray, the other in black. Aaron mentioned those were two of his fave clothes colors. (Okay..shaddup...*LOL*) I settled for the military greenish denim shorts that I was wearing already to go with the t-shirt I finally chose.

I was running a bit late while running this errand so I called Aaron, who himself was just chilling out in his apartment waiting for me, and told him I'd be late. He had to get himself together anyway so all was cool as he gave me directions to his place. I was actually hoping we would meet in a public place but with all the drama between us in the last three weeks, I didn't make too much of a stink. Besides I had a good feeling about him. (Maybe that's playing into my current feelings for him but damn it...lemme stop analyzing the shit and get back to the story.)

So Hemingway, I decide on the black t-shirt because I like the "Brasil Futbol" logo in green & yellow that was designed on it. It made me feel international. Plus I've been told I look Indian, especially by natives of India that work at my job. I mean, they seem to stare at me extra long as if trying to figure it out...*LOL*. But Hemingway (again), I head over to 31st street on the south loop to Aaron's highly secured apartment.

Aaron had given me instructions on the phone about what to say to the guard when attempting to drive-in. I told the guard who I was visiting and after some tense moments, he opened the gate and instructed me to park in visitor parking. So I park in visitor parking and Aaron tells me he's coming downstairs to the lot to get me.

I park my car and smile a bit in nervous anticipation. I see a couple dudes walking to their cars at different periods and thank the lord that they're not him...*LOL*. It's about ten minutes and there's no sign of Aaron. I was thinking I don't think he's that far from the visitor's lot. I fidget a bit, reassuring myself that I am in the complex, so it's not like he's blowing me off.

Maybe like a minute afterwards he calls me, inquiring of my whereabouts. I start walking towards where I think his building is. I see from a distance a hot looking guy on the phone wearing a white t-shirt. I ask Aaron if he's wearing a white t-shirt. He says he is. JACKPOT! He looks towards me and when we recognize each other, we hang up. I walk towards him and he's grinning the whole time (and he's got Gary Dourdan's hair almost done pat). I grin too and sorta turn my head behind me for dramatic effect (and to say to myself..WOW!) While turning my head, I see some folks walking several feet behind me. I continue to walk towards Aaron. He extends his hand but I hug him instead (not caring what the people behind me thought...that's so unlike me...*LOL*) and he quickly hugged me back.

We walked back towards his building and took the elevator to his floor. We walked down the hall towards his apartment. One of his floormates, a 30-something lady was exiting her apartment. I couldn't help but notice her staring at us (not necessarily malicious or anything..maybe slightly curious...*LOL*) so I stared back at her and greeted her. She greeted us both and continued on her way.

So we're in the apartment, both of us seemingly nervous. The first thing I have to say is that the brutha is fucking neat. He puts me to shame (In fact, I spent today cleaning my computer room, which is only one of several rooms out of control. It's doing better now, thanks for asking...*LOL*). I tell him how neat his place is in comparison to mine and we conclude that I love hoarding stuff. I also told him how I wait till the last minute to pay bills and stuff, letting the mail pile up and sometimes incurring late fees as a result. Yeah, another facet of my procrastination. I'm working on that...*LOL*.

We talk some more and I note that he's grinning wide at me. He then playfully tickles me. I talk some more and then playfully touch his wrists, admiring his bracelet. He then touches my wrists. One thing leads to another and before you know it, we're undressing and making out. Let's just say we do everything short of having sexual intercourse and leave it at that, shall we?

To prove to me even more how much of a neat freak he is, after we redress, he leads me to the bathroom so we can look in the mirror and make sure our clothes look neat. He then takes a lint brush & rolls it all over me to collect any sofa dust that may have gotten on my shirt. Then he requests that I do the same to him. That made me laugh a little bit, though I kinda was enjoying it. (Yeah I'm a freak.)

He gives me a tour of the rest of his small but neat ass apartment. (Yeah that's why I'm cleaning my 3-bedroom today...*LOL*) He logs into his different account to briefly check mail. He mentions that he deleted his A4A account because he didn't feel like maintaining one but not to worry that it was because of me. (Damn..was he reading my mind or what..*LOL*..and owww!)

He asks if I want to hang out downtown for the rest of the afternoon. I'm game. He mentions taking the bus later on while I can just drive back home. He must see me make some face because he then says that he's planning on visiting his father on the southside. I don't know if I believe him but at this point we're just getting to know each other, what he does on his own time is his business. I guess I was starting to fall for him...*LOL*.

So we leave the apartment. Besides if we stayed in the apartment much longer, we might've gone all the way.

He suggests we first drive to the nearby beach on Lake Shore Drive. I take the scenic route there...*LOL*. We park at the beach and he comments on how crowded it is today. It's a pretty nice day outside so that's probably why. We walk along a walkway just to the south of the beach and find a spot to just stand and shoot the breeze. We promise next time that we'll actually go into the sand & have a picnic at the beach.

So we walk along Lake Shore Drive's long path towards downtown. Between that time, hundreds of bikers & rollerbladers zoom on by. Aaron gets a bit excited by both and wants to take up in particular rollerblading. We also notice guys that "check" each of us out from time to time. (I guess my small shirt accentuated my pecs a bit...*LOL*.)

It's quite a long walk from 31st street, all of the way to the Water Tower on Michigan Avenue. Look at our path on the Google map provided. During the trek, he mentions that it's part of his jogging route. I'm thankful that I didn't hit the gym that morning. But I'm really enjoying myself walking with him. I may not convey this enough since he keeps asking me if I'm bored. I reassure him that I'm not. We walk over by an exclusive marina, which leads us to discussions on owning a boat. I tell him I have no interest (though I don't mind renting one for a day) while he expresses interest in owning one.

There are some negative spots, though. Before getting to the Water Tower, he takes a phone call on his cell. That's a bit of a no-no since we're supposed to be on a date. He says it was his mother. But then I'm just as guilty when I take a call from "Eugene". Eugene quickly hangs up on me and tells me that he's not going to help me be rude to my date. Then as we're heading back to conclude our date, he dials somebody and makes plans for tomorrow. It slightly peeves me off but then I think of earlier and just sigh. (We'll definitely have to talk about that in the future...*LOL*)

Another potential negative. He starts a second full-time job this Monday. His schedule will be his regular job from 9AM to 5PM, food, sleep, then working from midnight-8AM before starting a new day at his regular. The second gig is paying him a nice amount of change & he's looking to save up for a newer ride. He does mention that he'll have Wednesday and Thursdays off. I don't know. That doesn't seem to leave much time for a relationship.

A relationship? Wow. I mean, do I want one? We've agreed to definitely take the time to get to know each other before any kind of committment takes place. But it's kind of hard to get to that point if there's a possibility of not spending much time together. He doesn't seem to think that would be a problem. We'll see I guess.

Damn. I can't believe I may be ready to take that next step. A serious relationship with a guy. But again, let me not put the cart before the horse.

To be continued...


Saturday, September 10, 2005

Krush Groove

Thank goodness for the short work week. It made work a lot more bearable. I also seemed a bit less stressed too, which is always a good thing.

I wanted to give you guys an update on "Aaron". You'll remember that I first introduced him when talking about my recent weekend drama. We had a bit of a rocky start. He didn't take too kindly on me admitting to having a date & he in turn blew me off when I was already feeling low about being robbed. I had heard nothing further from Aaron until Wednesday evening when he sent a one word note. "Hi..." (Yeah, it had the three dots afterwards...*LOL*)

So let's continue from there. Aaron wound up calling me the next evening. I used my manipulative powers (basically doing a bit of understated sad whining...I deserve an Oscar...*LOL*) to get to the bottom of why he blew me off. He was so apologetic (hopefully he wasn't acting too...*LOL*) too. He said that he thought I needed some alone time. I had a feeling there was more to it so I continued to manipulate him in a way only I can...*LOL*. (It's not like I'm full of myself...much...but I do know I have a way of getting the info I need.) He then said that he basically was put off by my admitting to having a date Saturday (which he didn't know I cancelled to meet a third person for a BB-Q...*LOL*) and in not so many words said he did it as sort of a payback. He also thought I made up the whole robbery thing to get out of meeting him. Again.

Needless to say, I was aghast. I said in my understated sad whining voice..'I can't believe that. Why would I lie about something like that?' Because really? He apologized profusely. He seemed genuine.

We got off that subject and just started talking in general. He chatted about his past relationships, his longest one with a guy being five years. It had basically ended because he felt stagnated in the relationship. He wanted a career but had to give it up each time his partner relocated due to his consulting job. Aaron had found himself in the dependent role and he wasn't happy about it. It took him three times of leaving and coming back before he finally left for good. They're still good friends.

I in turn told him about my six month relationship with a girl back in 2001 (yes before I started exploring my feelings for guys), my only semi-serious relationship to date.

I'm about to go into a long side rant about that relationship since it's likely I won't talk about it again...*LOL*. I'll color code my side rant in case you wanna skip it.

"Brianna" and I had originally met at a friend's wedding in Detroit. This was in 1999. We chatted briefly but nothing came of it. I told my college posse ("Doug", "Rick", and "Keith") about it during our investment club meeting months afterwards & Doug (the one that got married) basically called her & put me on the phone with her. My college posse enjoyed seeing me being a nervous wreck on the phone. We basically had a date on "sweetest day", it was in October 1999. I even have a picture still of that first date that a waitress took. She thought we were a "cute couple". We broke up after 3 months (it was primarily my lack of communication) and reconnected in March 2001 (a co-worker friend dared me to call her). So our second time around, things were pretty cool. I made a greater effort to get to know her.

So...we had broken up our second and last time over a misunderstanding. It was actually pretty silly now that I think about it. We were planning a trip to Vegas & I had made the assumption we were going dutch. Brianna made the assumption I was paying for everything. Actually since I bought the tickets and booked the hotel, she had a point. What can I say? I was young and naive. She proceeded to rip my plans apart saying she could've gotten a cheaper fare and a closer hotel. I had inadvertently picked Palace Station, which I was unaware at the time, was outside of the main strip! Plus she made a good point that if we were going dutch, she should've been involved in the planning. Like I said, I was young and naive. Sue me. (Actually don't...I can't afford a lawyer.)

So Hemingway, things pretty much went south after that. I wound up losing my money ($600 something) over the trip since neither of us went. Brianna called me the day of the flight briefly. Even though she didn't admit it, I think she called just to see if I went. Which I totally should have gone. I still kick myself over that one. We didn't stay long on the phone.

Our last conversation after that, based on what she told me, I had a feeling it would be best if we broke things off. She mentioned going back to school, which would take up a lot of her "weekend time". It was easy to read between the lines on that one. So I pretty much told her, it's probably best that we end things.

She called our relationship 'strange', which pissed me off. At the time, she kept going on about saving herself for marriage. We did sleep in the same bed whenever we visited each other, but whenever I tried to 'have a deeper connection' (Okay..fine, sex!), she always brushed me away. Ironically though, her saying that kinda triggered my thinking about my attraction to guys. The thing is, I could've been more aggressive in the relationship and I wasn't. I thought, maybe it was time to explore that 'strange' relationship.

Ironically a year after we broke up, she called me again, leaving a voicemail. She had a family reunion in Chicago to attend and wanted to invite me. I thought and thought about calling her but decided in the end not to. She even called my parents and asked my mom if I was married yet. After that, that was pretty much the last I heard from her.

So what was I talking about again? Ohh...Aaron.

I'm trying not to get overly excited about him but I can't help it. We've been chatting for the last several nights & mornings and we seem to have a lot in common. We both have last names that we don't like. We both had "challenging" childhoods in school. We love a lot of the same artists. We also seem to have a lot of the same philosophies about life.

We spoke about our horoscopes, he's a Taurus and I'm a Libra. According to the compatibility tests, we're the least compatible pair (umm, forgive the pop-ups...*LOL*). The reasoning I believe is because Libra's lack of decision making (which yeah, I do waiver on shit a lot...*LOL*) would drive the quickly decisive Taurus (and Aaron fits that to a T.) batty.

We did agree, however, that horoscopes shouldn't deem who pairs up. Besides he said at least I'm not a Sagittarius. He called them weird & loopy (no offense to my Sagittarius readers out there...*LOL*). Plus my younger sis "Trina" is a Taurus and we get along okay...*LOL*.

He considers himself a pretty metrosexual type person. He's trying to sport his hair like Gary Dourdan's. Sexy. Rowrr.

We're planning on finally meeting tomorrow. We tried meeting last weekend but I wound up making plans when I heard nothing back from him. By the time he called, I was already out at a bar, living the vida loca. I might have to share that story one day...*LOL*.

Interesting tidbit #12. We had chatted about deleting our profiles from A4A if we proved to be a match. I checked A4A today and his profile was deleted. Of course, he could have another profile out there with a private pic that I don't know about. But I thought not seeing his profile tonight was very interesting. But let me stop putting the cart before the horse.

I'll keep you posted.


Wednesday, September 07, 2005

50th Post!

I can't believe I've hit my 50th post on my blog. It only took me a little over 5 months to get there. I definitely came a long way from my First Post logged in on April 2, 2005. I just realized I aged myself in that post. At the time, I was only 32, not the 33 I was claiming. Technically I don't turn the big 33 until mid-October, which actually isn't that far away. I also am sticking to my alias promise of not using real names in my posts. The folks mentioned, of course, would easily figure out who they are based on the actions. That'll be interesting if anyone I know ever stumbles upon this blog.

With that said, I thought it'd be good to review older posts to see where I was coming from and maybe it could give me some perspective of where I'm going. So cliche but whatever! *LOL*.

For the hell of it, I'll pick 6 random posts that I've written.

Post 9. As you know, bowling's become an important part of my life. I chose this post to focus on the competitive nature of gambling while bowling. Relive the joy I experienced when winning top prize with pro-bowler Reid. Also I had my best bowling series EVAH...for real.

Post 11. This post was the first one that I wrote that attempted to tackle an issue that may have been on folk's mind. The possibility that cell phone numbers would soon be available to the evil marketing people (err, if you're one of those people and you're reading this entry, my bad.) Or maybe not as I later concluded that it was likely an urban legend.

Post 25. I hit a low point health wise when I wrote that. I relive my agonizing blood pressure issues and even started keeping track of my BP on my blog. Talk about TMI.

Post 33. I speak about my triumphant return to the gym after my health issues. I also lament on my tax issues. Speaking of tax issues, I forgot to mention an update on my dad's tax issues. It wound up being a mistake made by the IRS. They thought my dad made $50 grand in his mutual fund as opposed to him moving his $50 grand to another fund. To boot, they owed him another $160.

Post 37. I post about urban legends that are floating on the Internet. There's also a lovely picture of a dog after her bout with a porcupine.

Post 42. My dad has a health issue. It's at times like these that family gets closer to get through the issue.

Those are just a sampling on the different items that have graced my blog. I hope to still be able to share my world every now and then. The high moments and the low moments. The alpha and the omega. The tit and the tat. Heh.

Thank you all for reading my ramblings. If my posts are incoherent at times, know that I'm doing it strictly for therapy. Ohhh...and congrats to Bernard & Ms. Holiday on their weblog awards for best LGBT blog and New Blog rewards respectively. Also way to go Humanity Critic for cleaning out the rest of the categories. Heh.

Sigh...I gotta get my butt to work. No time for procrastination today. I got a 9AM meeting. And oh my gosh, it's 8:20AM. Guess it's too late for that...*LOL*.

p.s. Jamal Franklin, if you're reading this, please email me. It's kinda important. Thanks!

Monday, September 05, 2005

Advertising Muscle

I hope everyone is enjoying their Labor Day. I'm doing fine just chilling out at home bored. But after the last few weekends, I think a boring day is in order. I did go workout this morning and before heading back home, I stopped and purchased a 12-pack of 7UP plus. The funny thing is I wouldn't have even purchased it had it not been for the newest commercials with hottie Desperate Housewives Nicolette Sheridan & Marcia Cross. I may like men but I know hot women when I see them and would definitely switch teams to make out with them.

See how powerful advertising can be! It'd be interesting to see if sales of 7UP plus go up due to the commercial.

So on that note, an illustrious investor who also has shares in Nicodrops -- a product which can be purchased at any of Walgreen's 4700 stores & online at CVS -- put together a research blog on the stock. I thought it was interesting. Check it out at: NCDP Blogspot!

It has information on the stock, including links to different paper advertisements that were in such lovely publications as Women's Day & The National Enquirer. Nicodrops is a natural herb lozenge that is said to help curb your cravings for a cigarette. Its claim to fame is that it doesn't contain nicotine. If you are a smoker looking to quit smoking or curb it for a few hours (especially if you're boarding a plane..*LOL*), for $9.99 ($2 off, if you have a coupon), it may be worth your time. Plus you can pick up some 7UP Plus. Disclaimer: Yes, I own NCDP stock! No I don't smoke. And no, I do not know Marcia or Nicolette and have no way of contacting them. But if you do, let a brutha know. (Heh. Don't you like how I shrunk up the text for that disclaimer....*LOL*.) Happy Labor Day everyone!

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Not All Roses Smell Like Poo Poo Poo

It's weird saying that I'm concluding my week long series of 'what's wrong with eric g.' considering that this blog is all about eric g. But nonetheless, I am concluding my week long series. And trust, I'm sure I'll be revisiting these issues from time to time.

Tonight's vice is my tendency to breeze through quickly in life and not take the time to savor the moment. I notice that even when running my errands. I'm so quick to get to my destination, that I don't notice my surroundings all the time. I don't realize that a business may be in an area until I need it. Then I'm like, 'oh, it's in the same block'.

I'm obsessed with trying to get to the next level and don't always realize the little accomplishments along the way. I never feel like I've arrived. I'm always playing catch up.

A lot of guys would kill to be in my position. I got my first job before graduating from college in May 1995. I'm making a decent living and I was 27 when I got my current house. Yet it's not enough that I just have a house. I want a more spacious home with a nicer car and some even more fashionable threads.

I never feel like I've really arrived. I'm reminded of that when I go to Detroit. Some people at my family's church put me on this pedestal. One nice older gentleman, who unfortunately passed away a few years ago, always used to call me a "young executive". He called me that before I even got my first corporate job. When I did get that job and would come home to Detroit for holidays and such, he'd always address me that way. It'd make me feel good but then I feel like I don't deserve that kind of praise. My pastor even asks me if I'm president of the company yet.

I do keep it in perspective, though. I'm sure he's not saying I'm less of a person if I'm not president. It's just that hearing those things reminds me that I'm not.

My parents also put me on a pedestal. They express time and time again how proud they are of me, which is cool. My sisters hadn't taken the same path as I did, which disappoints them. I know too that sometimes my sisters are jealous of me because of how our parents treat me. I'm the so-called successful one in the family, even though I don't feel like it. I do admit this plays a bit into my "catering" ways since I try not to do things that would disappoint my parents. I also try to reach a middle ground with my sisters.

I joked with "Stan" once about my predicament. He told me I should tell my mom that I hate her cooking, which he said would knock me off that pedestal. He was playing around, of course.

I should be proud of what I've done, though. I did come a long way. There were times I didn't even think I'd make it through college. Assembler language almost made me quit. That class kicked my ass and gave no mercy. But I kept going, with the help of those around me. I would not be where I am if it weren't for my family, including my church family.

It's too bad that it sometimes takes disasters like Katrina to make me take the time to appreciate what I do have. To slow down from my hectic pace and smell the roses I planted all around me. I know a lot of the folks going through even harder times would love to switch places with me. I do realize that I am blessed.


Friday, September 02, 2005

Catering (To) MF(s)!

Cater 2 U - Sung by Bouncy's Chil'run

"Let Me Cater To You Cause Baby This Is Your Day
Do Anything For My Man Baby You Blow Me Away
I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much More
Anything You Want Just Let Me Cater To You
Inspire Me From The Heart, Can't Nothing Tear Us Apart
You're All That I Want In A Man; I Put My Life In Your Hands
I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much More
Anything You Want, I Want To Cater To You"

There's nothing wrong with catering to people once in a while. Sometimes it's even beneficial to do so in order to get what you want. But what if you're like me, taking it to a whole nother level. Basically becoming a "people pleaser" and putting yourself last.

Today's segment of 'what's wrong with eric g. today' focuses on my inability to say no sometimes.

Are you a people pleaser? Answer the following phrases with a 'YES' or 'NO'.

1) You find yourself agreeing with someone just to keep the peace. YES!
2) You stop what you're doing to help someone else with their problems. YES!
3) You're always the 'designated driver'. NO! (Err, only cause I don't really club...*LOL*)
4) You agree to things even if you deep down inside don't want to do it. YES!
5) You're considered the 'responsible' one that everyone turns to. YES!
6) You're treated like a walking bank. YES!

I can come up with numerous examples of where I would volunteer for something one time, do such a good job, then everytime the same event happens, you're automatically nominated to do it again. It may work a couple times but after a while, it gets tiring. But for some reason, the words 'noooooooooooooo' just can't come out of my mouth. As Prince (at least I think he's Prince again...*LOL*) would sing, It Does Not Compute.

I also lended money to both my sisters and a friend I lost contact with that I've never seen again. Honestly though, I didn't expect to get it back. I try my best to avoid lending out money now.

My most outrageous 'why the fuck didn't I say no moment' was when a co-employee friend of mine was looking for a place to crash for a month. This was last summer sometime. Charles had basically met the woman he wanted to marry. It would be his second marriage. His wife to be lived in a different state. Let's call it Maryland..*LOL*. She was deadset against moving to Chicago, so he decided to move to Maryland.

Months before the actual wedding, he called me one day and asked if he would be able to crash in my place for a month until he can move all his stuff to Maryland. Every fiber of my being was going, tell him 'no'! But did I listen to my fibers...say it Whitney, 'Hell to the NAW!'. I was like, 'okay, just let me know when.'

I actually had several valid reasons for not wanting him to crash with me. One, I've never had a roommate ever. I commuted all through college and hated my weekend orientation experience where I had to share a room. Two, Charles had no idea about my sexual preference and I wasn't sure I could keep it from him that long. Also I didn't know how he'd react.

I kept my fingers crossed that maybe he'd forget that he asked me. Of course, that didn't happen. About a week before he moved in, he called to let me know he'd be moving that weekend.

For the most part, it wasn't that bad living with Charles. The funny thing, my parents seemed upset when I told them Charles moved in temporarily. They kept going on about how he's taking advantage of me and stuff. In a way, they may have been right, but at the same time, now that I think about it, they had no say in what I do. Granted I really didn't want to have a temporary roommate, but the thing is I'm a grown ass man, living in my own house, paying the mortgage, etc. ,etc. What if I met the guy of my dreams(yeah right...*LOL*)and we decided to move in together. Are they gonna object to that? Oh yeah, I guess I'd have to come out at that point. That's gonna be a party...*LOL*. Honestly I think my dad would come around sooner than my mom. But that's another discussion...

I did think about my parent's concerns and asked Charles for $500. I even wrote out a contract that we both signed, listing specific things I'd provide and when he was to surrender his key. It was cool.

He did wind up finding out about me. I had inadvertently went to A4A and forgot to clear the history. He came up to the site and I tried going to another site but it was too late. There was this awkward silence for a few minutes. Somehow during that time, I had a date with an older woman that he had paired me up with at a Caribbean party. I had later found out she was 56. Owww! He asked me if he should go out with her instead. I just gave him a dirty look and didn't respond. I swear, that night I couldn't sleep at all. I was worried as hell what was gonna happen next. Would he tell everyone about me? Worse, would he ask me to suck his dick? *LOL*...he really wasn't my type.

Oddly enough, the topic of my sexuality didn't come up again between us. He still had another week with me and honestly I don't think he treated me any differently, which was cool. I admit I was afraid he'd tell some of my co-workers. And it's possible he may have, though I know folks have speculated about me before. But things haven't been any different at work.

But all that shit could've been avoided, had I just said 'NO'!

You know, though, as much as I cater to people, I've learned to cater to myself sometimes as well. I've traveled to a lot of cities in the last couple years. In fact, I've purchased round trip tickets to Seattle for my B-day. It's a city I was thinking about relocating to. I just want to check it out. So at least I do put myself first sometimes.

And actually, I came up with a new goal! Well, I don't know if I can call it a goal or not. But basically, my ten year anniversary with my company falls on April 13, 2007. I'm making a vow that on that day, I will give my company the standard two weeks notice that I'm leaving them. I'm assuming, of course, that I'm not fired, laid off, or have another personal reason for leaving sooner than end of April 2007. I also picked my ten year anniversary date for my departure and not two weeks before just in case they told me to just leave...*LOL*. If they do that, at least I can say I worked until my tenth anniversary.

So why the hell am I doing this? I've been feeling for a while that I want to be doing something else with my life. For the last year or so, I haven't really been happy at my job. But at the same time, I don't want to jump from the frying pan into the fire. I do know that I want to focus more on trading in the stock market. My new T/A approach has been hit and miss so far. I did have a couple small gains but am currently bagging on two stocks. I really do want to learn even more about trading before taking the risk and plunging full-time into it. So with this new date, I'm giving myself 19 months to get my shit together.

I'm hoping having this target date will help keep me motivated on those days I just want to give it up. I know it may seem backwards and some of you may wonder, why don't you just leave now. The thing is, it financially doesn't make sense for me to leave at this point. I'm hoping to work myself into a better financial position down the road. I'll need enough to cover my own health insurance, pay my mortgage, etc, etc.

You guys reading my blog will be the only ones that know about this. The countdown begins now!

Now Playing: Destiny's Child - Cater To You