Tuesday, March 11, 2008


Borderline - Madonna

[Verse 1]
Something in the way you love me won't let me be
I don't want to be your prisoner so baby won't you set me free
Stop playing with my heart
Finish what you start
When you make my love come down
If you want me let me know
Baby let it show
Honey don't you fool around

Just try to understand, I've given all I can,
'Cause you got the best of me

[Chorus 1]

Borderline feels like I'm going to lose my mind
You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline

Repeat Chorus 1

[Chorus 2]
Keep on pushing me baby
Don't you know you drive me crazy
You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline

[Verse 2]
Something in your eyes is makin' such a fool of me
When you hold me in your arms you love me till I just can't see
But then you let me down, when I look around, baby you just can't be found
Stop driving me away, I just wanna stay,
There's something I just got to say

Just try to understand, I've given all I can,
'Cause you got the best of me

Repeat Chorus 1 twice

Repeat Chorus 2 once

Look what your love has done to me
Come on baby set me free
You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline
You cause me so much pain, I think I'm going insane
What does it take to make you see?
You just keep on pushing my love over the borderline

Another elliptical record was set today. 10,522 strides. I swear...I don't know what's gotten to me. Maybe it's the hemp seeds I've been recently eating. Apparently they add some essential fatty acids that the human body doesn't produce normally yet is needed. Maybe that's giving me the extra energy.

In sadder news....

I feel like Rock and I are at the borderline of ending things again. We had a horrible fight this morning over the phone. Well it was mostly Rock yelling at me. I was insensitive to his feelings. It wasn't my intention to be but it happened.

He's really been having a hard time dealing with his cousin's death. What made it harder is that he's lost several close friends and four key family members over the course of several years. It took him a while from what he's told me to move past the deaths and whenever anniversary of said deaths occur, his mood can get unpredictable as I've learned. His way of dealing with it is to shut himself off from the world as much as possible. Basically what he coins 'going underground'. He's even contemplating taking a leave from his job.

So obviously our relationship has suffered even more. We don't see each other enough as it is and now he's putting more restrictions on that time because he needs to be by himself. On the one hand I'm trying to be understanding but on the other hand I'm annoyed because our relationship as well as his other relationships are suffering.

So in a fit of rage I basically told Rock that there are folks who miss having him around and if something happens to one of us, how is he going to feel neglecting that relationship. Boy did that set him off. With good reason. Yes I know (even though I'm sure I'll get the comments anyway...*LOL*) it was way harsh. So I let him go off.

He basically told me I was insensitive and until I experience a death close to me that I shouldn't make judgment. He then told me he's gonna do what he has to do so I should go do what I have to do. Then he told me to have a nice day, I wished him the same, and we hung up.

Both of us were on our ways to work and after I hung up I had to stop myself from tearing up. After getting myself together, I decided to immediately call my parents. I should definitely be grateful that they're still around.

As for Rock I'll just have to give him his space. I'll keep everyone posted.

Labels: , ,


Blogger yet another black guy said...

wow, that completely sucks. the thing is, he's not letting you support him through this troubling time. you have a right to be upset as well, i mean you guys' time seems to be limited and now reduced to nothing.

you should give him his space, but call and apologize while explaining your position rationally. in the end, he's going to have to make some concessions in how he deals with situations. i'm sure you're not the only person who has taken him to task for just shutting down.

i hope the best for you two.

11:55 PM, March 11, 2008  
Blogger Darius T. Williams said...

Give the man space - but don't be no fool while doing so. So many times we put off our desires and hopes for something better while we're holding on to some idiot. Listen - we've all been there. I have stories to tell - although I'm younger than you, I could probably teach a class on the shit I've endured. At any rate - do you. Live life, enjoy yourself, meet people, have safe fun, and if it's meant to be - the stars will align themselves and shine in your direction.

7:52 AM, March 12, 2008  
Blogger Cash S. said...

One of the hardest things to deal with in a relationship is when your man is going through something and there's really nothing you can do about it.

I know it sucks and I know hurts even more to feel like he's pushing you away, but you got to let him have his space. If that's his way of dealing with things let him do him. When things get back to "normal", then try talking to him about alternative ways he can deal with things.

8:16 AM, March 13, 2008  

Post a Comment

<< Home