How It Is Done

Hey Ladynay, thanks for still checking me out even after my six month hiatus...*LOL*. I was waiting to see if I'd get any reaction. :-)

I'm actually off from work today and back in Chicago. My work life has been hell at the company I've been vowing to leave since 2006...*LOL*. I've fallen a bit off the gym track and am doing my best to maintain myself though January is near and I may do another cleanse. My love life has consisted of hot sex with an occasional FWB who's deep in the closet and a few dates and hookups with other guys, nothing significant though I long to find boyfriend #2. Maybe 2011 is the year.

Hemingway (classic...*LOL*) now I'm going to do something I haven't done in ages. Give a blow by blow account of an event that recently happened. I'm referring to my coming out to my parents on the 24th.

The day started innocently enough. Fast forward to 12:30PM. It's Day 3 in Detroit at my parents' crib. My Dad's sitting by his laptop playing spider solitaire and listening to the radio. My Mom's laying on the sofa watching CNN and I'm sitting in a chair not far from her at the dining room table texting.

So I'm texting with Eugene, who's also in Detroit visiting his family, about his recent high school reunion that he attended. Of course he's rambling on and on about how everyone there was telling him how young he looks. I started strumming to myself the bars to Beyonce's Ego (god...I imagine she has a huge one too....*LOL*). His date for the evening wasn't feeling all the comments from his classmates from what he said.

My Mom sees me texting and asks me with whom I'm texting. I love my Mom but sometimes she's too nosey for her own good. And yeah I guess Mamas are like that. I sighed and told her it wasn't anyone she knew. That of course didn't stop my Mom. She asked me if I was texting a "special friend".

(It didn't help that moments before CNN was once again talking about the repeal of the discriminatory military practice of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' that finally received approval from the House and Senate and was signed into law by Obama.)

I was in shock but only for a moment. If I were a more direct person, I would ask her what she meant by "special friend". But I knew exactly what she meant. No explanation required. I told her no it's not a special friend. That wasn't enough of course for my Mom. She dug deeper and asked me if I was seeing anyone. I got up from my seat and told her I wasn't seeing anyone and made a beeline for my bedroom (well the guestroom....*LOL*).

A wave of emotions was coming over me. I texted about this recent exchange to Eugene. He asked me what she meant by "special friend" and then was amazed my Mom knew about texting. My Mom is not into texting or using the computer but obviously she knows when someone's doing it. I then told Eugene that I would need to tell my parents officially that I'm gay but would wait until the day after Christmas as to not spoil the holiday.

Eugene asked me what I was going to tell my Mom and I said I'm going to tell both my parents that I'm gay and dating but don't have anyone special. The weight of what I was contemplating doing came over me and I started to cry. Luckily since I was texting Eugene, he had no idea I was doing so.

I mourned again the hopes and dreams that my parents may have had of me one day getting married (to a girl...*LOL*) and starting a family. I mourned that I didn't have a special guy in my life that I could tell them I was seeing. I worried that I would be seen as a failure by my parents.

My Mom came knocking on my door asking me if I was okay. I did my best to swallow my tears and told her I was fine. I didn't hear her walking away so I went and opened the door. She wasn't by my door but was in the back kitchen. I walked towards her and she asked me again if I was okay. She was looking out the window and not directly at me.

I was still wiping the tears from my eyes telling her I was fine. But I lost it and started crying again. She turned around and looked like she was about to cry to but instead she asked if she made me upset asking about any "special friends". I lied and said no but the tears wouldn't stop. I then hugged her and repeatedly said 'Im sorry.'

My Mom shooed my apology and had a smile on her face. She asked if I had a boyfriend directly and I told her no but yes I'm gay. She told me that she knew and just wanted me to say it. She displayed a strength that was hiding under her Parkinson's Disease ailment and told me to go to my Dad. With one hand she touched my hands and the other she wrapped around my waist as we took the longest walk towards the living room.

With each step I kept thinking it's finally over. I hoped my Dad's reaction would be as good as my Mom's. Honestly my Mom surprised me the most since she's so 'black and white' about things and I imagined she'd have a more difficult time about it. But on the other hand my parents I'm sure had lots of discussions about me in private and likely she's had more than enough time to accept the reality, hence her relentless pursuit of the truth. She didn't want another moment obviously of knowing but not receiving my confirmation.

My Dad, aside from any disappointments that his #1 son (his only son) was gay, I felt would have a better grasp of the situation and come to terms to it sooner. As far as personality, my Dad has done a complete 180. Whereas in my childhood he was stern and downright scary, my new Dad over the years has become friendlier, approachable, and downright emotional.

My Mom and I reached the living room and she told him that I was crying. He turned around, looked at me, and immediately started crying himself as he told me that they've known about me and no matter what, they still love and care about me. They just wanted to know what was going on with me since I never talk about my love life and the last girl I bought over to the house was in 2001.

He was still crying and I went up and hugged him. Then he started talking about his own experiences about how folks at our Church actually thought he was gay since he hadn't seriously been seeing any women prior to my Mom. But he told me that at the time he knew that he ultimately wanted to marry a woman from the Caribbean similar to himself, which is exactly what he did. I recounted the teasing I had gotten growing up sans my molestation story. He rambled a bit more but I heard all I needed to hear when he said that they still loved and cared about me.

And then it was over. We later went back to our normal routines and my fear of Christmas being ruined didn't come to pass. My only question now is who'll be the lucky guy that'll get to meet my parents someday.

Free & Easy

Free and easy living is what I'm doing today. I took off for a much needed break from work. I'm just chilling at home and will soon head over to the Home Depot that my friend Sally works at to look into getting a new door set.

Life's been okay. On the car front I'm still adjusting to the feel of the ride. It doesn't feel the same as before and at times I still feel like another blowout is imminent. I'm hoping it's mostly in my head. I've taken the car in to the dealer since the accident and after they replaced the wheel bearings, they assured me that nothing else is wrong. Discount Tire was saying something was up with the tie rods but Nissan says its fine. I don't know. I admit I'm this close to trading it in.

The funny story there is I did go to CarMax to get my Altima appraised. They offered the bare minimum amount I was willing to take for the car. I still would've owed about $1300 on the current loan. But the car I was looking to buy...a Toyota Camry...is of course part of a huge recall. Ooops. I somehow missed the memo. (Actually at the time I went to CarMax, the news on Camry had just came out earlier that day.) So needless to say I didn't make a trade.

I also actually finished my taxes earlier this week. I usually wait till the very last minute to get it done. But I need my refund for the door and also to pay off my credit card. So it'll come in handy.

Helping me also on that front is a recently announced 3% raise I got at my job. According to my new boss, not everybody was getting raises this year. Assuming Remoboss2 is telling the truth, I have to say that I'm stoked to be one of the lucky few. Either I'm doing something right or I'm severely underpaid. *LOL*.

On the dating front, my dating experiences have been depressing. It's the usual crap. I think I may just have to accept the fact that I'll pretty much be single for the rest of my life. It's too much bullshit out there.

Being single is not so bad though. I admit though I am getting more set in my ways. So I don't know if I'll ever get to the point where I could live with another guy. But never say never right?

Hemingway I need to catch up on everyone else's lives. I hope you all are doing great in the O-10.

E-Cast

I thought since it's been a minute, I should recap all the cast of folks that have come and gone in my life and made impacts, whether positive or negative. These are folks that I've blogged about in the past and may blog about in the future. So Hemingway without further adieu, let's start with...

I M M E D I A T E
F A M I L Y

Mom and Dad - They're pretty self-explanatory. I was blessed to be raised by both and even though times weren't ever easy, I wouldn't trade my parents for the world. Well except maybe my Mom for Big Dee....*LOL*. Just joking.

Tasha - My older sister by one year and four months. She beats to the beat of her own drum, which sometimes takes a bit of time to figure out. But her off beat personality makes her unique and I'll always love her.

Trina - My younger sister by six years. She's the social butterfly of the family. Her street cred personality sometimes clashes with my "bougie" side but we love one another and will no doubt watch out for each other.

F R I E N D S

Sally - She's my closest ally in the world and my #1 fag hag (sorry Reesie...*LOL*). We've known each other for almost 15 years and I have no doubt we have each other's back. Even though we live an hour apart, we keep in touch constantly.

No_The_Game - Since the day I met her at Caribou Coffee over three years ago, she's been a constant presence in my life. I enjoy hearing her unique insights on relationships and have met some of her close friends, which has been a cool experience.

Eugene - Eugene's my ace-in-the-hole, homie, ace boon coon. Since the fateful day I met him on A4A, he's always willing to toss his two cents on various issues in my life, even if I don't ask for it. He's a true kid at heart down to his crazy practical jokes, which one day I plan to get even with him on. I may have a potential ally to help me there...*LOL*.

Doug, Rick, and Keith - Those three are my college buddies from way back. Even though we all don't keep in touch as much as we should, whenever one of us is in need, one or all of us pulls together to help out. And actually Doug and I have gotten closer since I shared the gayer side of E. I look forward to visiting Doug at some point in the future.

Stan - I met him at my job when I first moved to Chicago. He's a good natured guy married with two kids who is my go-to person for real estate queries.

W O R K
A C Q U A I N T A N C E S

Ling - She's my crazy Asian co-worker without the filter. Lately she's been taming her tongue and we're in different groups now. The layoffs that our company's being having lately have likely calmed her a bit.

Dan - As Ling becomes calmer, Dan's become more cut throat. My new boss has told me that he's bad mouthed me to her in the past and he's become less trustworthy. He's one that I definetly have to watch out for.

SLAB - The funny acronym I gave my former Slightly Less Annoying Boss. He's moved on to bigger better things in the company

Fussy - He's my crazy business user who I continue to support. He can be demanding but one thing I do like about him is that he knows his shit.

Happy - Happy continues to be the happy-go-lucky guy of the group. He was actually one of the first ones to tell me not to trust Dan years before I realized Dan's two-faced personality. His instincts were definitely on the mark. He's currently on medical leave after having surgery on a defective heart valve. He's doing well and hopefully will be back in the office sometime in July.

Smooth - Smooth is the Billy Dee Williams cat daddy that I befriended years back. He was a victim of our last round of layoffs but he's doing it for himself as a consultant of his own firm he's trying to get off the ground.

Reid - He's my crazy former bowling buddy who was also a victim of our last round of layoffs. But he was recently rehired back in the company for a smaller salary (a trend that a lot of companies seem to be doing these days).

Deidre - My ditsy greek former teammate. She's over in a different part of the company and is adjusting to life as a mother and wife. Every now and then we keep in touch via work email to see what the latest happenings are.

M E N S E S

(Preface: I've had a lot of menses that I blogged about over the years so I won't list them all....just a few that were somewhat significant in one way or another.)

Vince - The only reason why I'm listing this jerk is because he was the first guy I've blogged about. He was my "coming out" guy to the blogworld. I've no idea what he's doing these days and I don't care.

Chad - He was the crazy 20-something that I had a date or two before finally kicking to the curb. He had issues up to the wazoo. Despite our rough going, I actually hope things are okay for him and hopefully he's matured a bit by now.

Rock - What can I say? He was my first real boyfriend. We had a lot of good times and a lot of bad times. I've learned so much from my two years dating him. We fell out of touch recently but I will always wish him well.

Midas - He was the guy that introduced me to my wild side sexually. One thing I didn't mention about him (not that it matters...guess that's why I didn't mention it) is that he's caucasian. As much as Midas satisfied me sexually, I unfortunately knew that he ultimately wouldn't give me what I desire....a monogamous relationship.

And introducing....Colin - You may be hearing a little bit more about him. He potentially could be my new boyfriend. I met him while visiting Eugene in Boston during Memorial weekend. Meeting Colin was the most random thing too. He caught me viewing his profile and basically he asked me if I was visiting the Boston area that weekend, which I was. We met and hit it off and have been chatting daily since. I actually am planning another trip to Boston in a couple weeks to meet him exclusively. I may be able to sneak a lunch or dinner with Eugene....*LOL*.


So there you have it....the cast of characters that have impacted E in one way or another in the real world. No doubt you'll hear more about them and future characters as I continue to blog. PEACE!

Shored Up Synchronization

You know in life it's funny how you just seem to click with certain people. It's like when you're the ying, they're the yang and when they're the ying, you're the yang. What exactly pulls you together you have no clue. I was thinking about that this morning during a rare early morning workout. I was leaving in the wee hours of the morning from a random hookup and decided instead of doing my traditional "walk of shame" at home, I would do a few "laps of acclaim" (*LOL*...yeah.) at my gym.

So Hemingway while doing my "laps of acclaim" I thought of an incident I had yesterday afternoon at work with a co-worker. This co-worker is actually one of our offshore co-ordinators that distributes work among the remaining offshore team.

So Hiresh and I were on the main floor of our work campus purchasing coffee beverages. The store is a "Starbucks-like" establishment with the "tall", "grande", "vendi" sizes for their drinks. Earlier that day I was in a morning training session where I won a free campus card for participating and asking a question.

When mid-afternoon hit I was returning from my usual Subway run with a sandwich and heading to the cafeteria to eat it. As I was doing this, Hiresh happened to walk by where I was sitting, heading towards the nearby vending machines. We exchanged greetings and I insisted that he "took a load off" and sit down with me.

We chatted about various topics, including our crazy work project and my obsession with Subway. At some point I made a mention of the training session and showed him the card I was given. I knew that Hiresh drank more coffee and purchased more cafeteria food that I do so I offered to give him the card. He hesitated asking me how much value was in the card. I had no idea. I was thinking it might have $10 while he was thinking $5. He suggested we both use it later in the afternoon for a coffee pick me up.

So when the time came, we both went to the "Starbucks-like" establishment where he ordered a tall beverage while I ordered a "grande" one. The total came out to $5.98. I presented the server with the card. It turned out the card only had $5 in it and I owed 98 cents. Instinctively I reached for change despite the fact of knowing that the store only accepted credit cards. A random co-worker offered to pay the difference with his credit card "in exchange for the cash". I accepted even though I easily could've pulled my card out. For some reason, my brain missed the "in exchange for the cash" part. The server had some initial confusion on using the additional card but finally was able to add his purchase of coffee to the bill so she could use his card.

He looked at me a bit, I thanked him, and he went to pour his coffee. Hiresh kept saying that I owed him 98 cents (which was true). But my brain seemed to register only up to "paying the difference with his credit card". Hiresh kept insisting and after a minute I realized my mistake. The guy in the meantime was about to disappear back to wherever he was going. I ran up to him and apologized as I gave him the change. He made noises like he didn't care if he got it but since he did say "in exchange for the cash", I knew it was just a cover.

I returned back feeling my usual embarrassment over my gaffe. Hiresh was ready to move on to other topics but my earlier gaffe was still bothering me. He kept asking why I couldn't let it go. I told him that one of the weaknesses of my personality is that I tend to replay things in my head over and over. I just couldn't help thinking how silly I was to assume that the guy was going to just pay the difference and that was it. I also continued to feel embarrassment since there were folks around that were watching the entire exchange.

So we got back to our respective work areas and needed to discuss on some work issues on the project. My mind wasn't there though as I kept referencing that gaffe. How I wish I could let shit go.

Hiresh was laughing at me still not believing I was thinking about it. I tried to rationalize it saying that I did resolve the situation eventually. But the fact that I glossed over the co-worker's key words of "getting the cash" still teased me.

So then I made a comment that it wouldn't have happened if I had ordered a tall instead of a grande. Then I added that it wouldn't have happened if Hiresh wasn't with me to purchase the coffee.

So Hiresh and I made the "wouldn't have happened" scenario into a game:

He said...."I shouldn't have shown him the card."

I said..."He shouldn't have run into me in the cafeteria."

He said..."I shouldn't have told him to sit down with me."

I said..."I shouldn't have participated in the training session so I wouldn't have had the card."

We joked a bit more and then he commented that I would somehow connect the "war on Iraq" happening due to me not giving the co-worker his change. That made me realize how silly I was acting.

Eventually we focused back on work. But our witty exchanges reminded me of the chemistry I seem to have with Hiresh. In a way I see him as the little brother I never had. We both lamented on getting older. Me about to turn 37 in October and he about to turn 26 and inching closer to turning 30.

That of course made me tell him about the time when I got my friend and former co-worker Stan a birthday card when he turned 35. The front of the card said "You Da Man". Then when you opened it, the inside said "You Da Old Man". Five years later on my birthday, my co-workers got me the exact same birthday card. I totally cracked up but sighed realizing that the shoes on the other foot. And someday Hiresh will be my age talking to a younger guy starting out his career in his mid-20s and would likely have similar like conversations.

Hemingway I'll be really sad when it's time for him to go back to India. The company's kept him around longer than usual. Rotations for co-ordinators are typically four months. He arrived December 1st and it's now mid-April. He mentioned that they extended his stay till at least Mid-May. I keep joking that he should stay in Chicago. But I know he has a life back home that he looks forward to going back to.

Oh well....I need to log into work. Thank goodness I still have a job with this crazy economy.

Ohh...and just like that, my four year anniversary of blogging came and went on April 2nd. Hopefully I can get myself back to a regular blogging schedule. We'll see.

Hit The 3-Way

Or maybe I should title this entry Nasty News 2...*LOL*.

I knew going into 2009 that I was planning on having a wild ride. Little did I know two Wednesdays ago was going to be one of those times.

It started out with a crazy project day at work. But at least I was working from home that day, like I normally do on Wednesdays. I was just coming off my latest cleanse and days earlier was sharing with Midas some of the details surrounding what ingredients were needed to do it.

Midas actually expressed interest in doing the cleanse for himself and we made an evening date to run to various stores to obtain the lemons, cayenne, maple syrup, and sea salt.

So this date of course was made on Wednesday. So I swing to his place and we then make our way first to Whole Foods then to Jewels and for good measure, the last stop was Bed Bath and Beyond. Those trips for the most part were uneventful save a solicitor using some kids (not sure they were his) to get Midas to donate to some charity that may or may not be bogus and later on a hottie night guard at BB&B that both Midas and I were salivating over.

So we get back to his place and kind of talk for a bit and he mentions that his friend Damien was swinging by for a three way. Midas had mentioned to me before that he does enjoy a good three way and has half-joked (I thought) with me in the past about having one with me.

I was thinking at first he was joking again but minutes later I heard a knock on his door. I remembered my heart skipping a beat as I watched Midas walk towards the door. I nervously gulped as Damien and Midas walked back towards the entertainment room. After Midas took Damien's coat, I sheepishly greeted Damien before he sat down in the middle of the carpet. Moments later Midas asked us if we wanted something to drink. I was like...'hell yes' as I requested some red wine (so gay...*LOL*).

I was quietly sizing Damien up as Midas and he were conversing. Damien was a mere 25 years old. He was a bit husky and short (about 5'7 I'd say). He looked younger than his 25 years. I was thinking about my dilly dallies with men over the years and only recalled one guy around 24 that I've had relations with (I was 32 at the time). Everyone else I've had was typically in their 30s or 40s, though I had one hot 50 year old (even though he lied and said he was 37).

I would occasionally chime in a word or two during their conversations, which included a discussion about the whole Flavor of Love industry on VH-1 and how it's spawned off so many other shows.

But Hemingway I felt a bit surreal, not believing that I would actually be participating in my very first three way. I can't say that I didn't fantasize about it before, though in my fantasy I usually had two studly muscle hunks. But you can't get everything you want.

In a funny twist of fate, I actually got a text message in the middle of our three way ... conversation from Rock. I smiled to myself as I read his greeting imagining his reaction if he knew what I was moments away from doing.

I went to get more wine and then cracked up at the label. It had the words 'Ménage à trois', you know Love For 3. Yeah Midas definitely planned this in advance.

Years ago I would've been singing an old Angela Winbush side song going...'Ménage à trois, love for 3. Love for 3 is not for me. Why can't one lady (man) be enough?' But a couple glasses of Ménage à trois later, I was all 'Love for 3 is just the ticket for me'.

But the loving was going have to be put on hold. Apparently some work issue on this nightmarish project was so distressing my user that he insisted on having a 10:45 PM meeting. I saw that my onshore co-ordinator was beeping me 911 on that. So I wound up going in another room to make the conference call.

I was so buzzed but had to do my best to keep my composure during the meeting. Luckily most of the talking was done by one of the offshore folks and my user, so I didn't have to talk much but just take notes. The call took nearly an hour.

So Hemingway I finally got done with the call and headed out of the room to pee. Next thing I know I see Midas and Damien butter ball naked looking at profiles on A4A. I didn't even want to know what they were doing while I was in my conference.

I pissed and then remained in the bathroom for a minute longer wondering if I should leave. As I finally left the room, they both were still focused on A4A and I was still thinking of making a hasty retreat. The only problem was my coat was on the chair that both guys were leaning against. Plus I was still coming off my buzz. So I parked myself on a nearby sofa rolling my eyes at my predicament.

About two minutes later Midas came up to me all kissy-kissy. Damien stood off by the computer still. Initially it felt weird and I was resisting Midas's advances. I was thinking did I really want to do this. The thing is I know that Midas and I aren't boyfriend/boyfriend (and I'm not sure where things are going since I know it's a bit soon to even think about that coming off of my relationship with Rock) but I felt a twinge of jealousy seeing the two of them naked together and likely doing other things while I was in my conference. Part of me was pissed that I had to share Midas with another guy. (Come on Angela...take it away with that song girl.) But Midas was so sexy and was making me feel so good that I eventually gave in and slowly stripped down to only my underwear and a jock strap that I was wearing earlier.

Eventually Damien joined us (that took me a minute to get used to) and the three of us were pawing and making out with each other. It turned out that I was the lone bottom so that turned out to be the makings of a wild evening.

It may sound weird but while I was being worked over (thanks Whitney for that term) by Damien, I felt closer to Midas as the two of us were wildly kissing and making out. Eventually Midas took his turn working me over as Damien and I made out. There was all kinds of sucking and kissing and exchanges going on between the three of us and eventually it all culminated into some explosive endings.

Yeah I needed a cigarette.

Damien left moments later and Midas and I sat down and basically talked about the experience. Midas really made me feel at ease while doing so. I was feeling better and knowing that I had another early morning conference call, I made my way home early that Thursday with a huge smile on my face.

Even though I fantasized about it, I never thought I'd actually have it be a reality. I guess it was so good that Midas wants us all to hook up again, possibly tonight. I'm such a freak that I think I may just go for it. Peace out.

Naughty E

You know the drill....

Okay, here's some quickie random updates on what's going on with me.

1) Rock and I broke up a couple weeks ago (well I broke up with him). Basically I came to conclusion that with the way things were going, that we were better off being friends. He was upset as was I but since our breakup, we've actually been continuing to talk to each other and the weird thing is I feel like a weight has been lifted off both of our shoulders.

2) Work is still hell. Hence...you know the drill.

3) I am Trina's Secret Santa for the second year in a row. And it's been so busy, I haven't had time to think of what to get her. And I'm totally stuck. I guess I have about 7 more days to figure it out. Still can't believe how fast Christmas is approaching.

4) It took me five hours to get home yesterday from my hellish job due to the hellish weather. I had left at 3:15PM too. Parts of I-53 and I-290 were literally at a standstill. It was horrible.

5) My exercise routine has all but fallen apart due to point #2. I try to get a little bit of a workout by taking stairs when at job but I'm not working out with the intensity that I've done months ago. I need to get back on track. I'm so scared to weigh myself these days. Somebody help me.

6) Is Noni really as beneficial as folks say it is? Or is it just another shill of an item that manufacturers are trying to get folks to spend money on? My parents have bought it and I've heard from others about its benefits. I bought some 100% Noni but the taste is revolting.

7) 2008 is coming to such a quick end. I still can't believe how the year has gone by.

8) I'm wrapping up on swimming lessons that I've been taking from an instructor I found via Craigslist. The inspiration for finally getting off my tush and learning was due to my not being able to swim while in Hawaii. The lessons have gone pretty well. I'm not a pro but I think I can at least swim a lap in the pool.

9) And yeah I think I've pretty much forgotten about my Hawaii adventures (okay not totally....damn I need to get my thoughts together)....but here's a horrid pic of me to remember my final moments in paradise. That pic was literally taken moments before I boarded Robert's Shuttle to make the sad trek to the airport. Aloha!

This Work Thing

This JEM video (especially the pic of JEM falling from the sky) pretty much sums up my work situation! I've been practically working 24/7 this last month or so. I have to be up at 6AM for daily 6:30AM status meetings on my project (including weekends). Then I have to catch up with work from the project in between answering other queries and other meetings throughout the day. Then I get a two hour reprieve in the evening before dialing into a daily 8:30PM meeting. Then afterwards I have to stay on for an hour or so (usually longer) afterwards to advise our offshore on tasks for the night. I go to bed close to midnight only to start the vicious cycle again. I've even had to work on weekends as well.

My business user (or abuser as I like to call him) is insane. He even wanted to have a meeting this morning (on Thanksgiving, a company holiday), which he still did have with our offshore. But my new manager (can't remember if I gave her a nickname or not) put her foot down and let the abuser know that E was taking time off so he could be with his family. She also let him know that I had worked the last four weekends and needed somewhat of a break. As a compromise, I will check in with our onshore rep from time to time during the next few days while I'm in Detroit just to see how things are going and if there's any issues that come up. I like my new manager. She's tough but fair.

It's a nightmare. So I actually have a day off today (it is Thanksgiving...*LOL*) but I'm late for a road trip to Detroit. I need to run to the store and buy a few items for my Mom before leaving. So I thought I'd take two minutes to quickly update my blog.

And yes I need to blog about the rest of my Hawaii trip before I forget the nuances. Luckily I took a lot of pictures so I think that'll jog my memory some.

Hemingway Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

It's Your Birthday

I officially turn 36 today. Yay! I'm also off from work today but it's no rest for the weary. Today I need to prep for my upcoming Hawaii trip. I have to run a few errands today, including stopping at the post office and buying a couple last minute knick knacks. I need to pay a few bills before I leave too so I don't get any nasty threats to cut off service while I'm on vacation. I also need to get some laundry done today and most importantly, keep my latest attempt at getting a cold at bay. Can you believe that? It's like the universe is conspiring against me. But gosh darn it (Hi Sarah Palin.) I'm going to fight this attack because I'll be damned if I get sick during my vacation.

The nicest thing about this vacation is that I don't have to worry about work for at least a week. I tried to extend my time off until the 29th, but that caused a stink by the business, so I had to cut it short a few days. Bastards. But I plan on enjoying my week not logging in or thinking about work. Who knows? Maybe all the issues will magically go away by the time I get back. Yeah right...:-)

Hemingway Rock and I met at a half-way point last night to have dinner. It was the same area we met last year around that time. We were even going to meet at AppleBee's but I decided to change it to Lone Star. So other than a minor quibble over time of meeting, the dinner went well. I had a combo 6oz sirloin with salmon, which wasn't half bad. Later after dinner we hung out in his car and he gave me the movies Saw and Saw IV, since I'm a big horror movie buff.

As we sat in the car, I couldn't help but think of my upcoming trip and wish Rock was able to go along. Unfortunately circumstances with his job and cash prevented him from going. But he told me that he wanted to spend more time with me, which would be a good thing since after almost two years together (our anniversary arrives next month), we still don't hang out nearly enough. We're nowhere close to even contemplating moving in with each other. To tell you the truth, there have been times I wanted to end things since it doesn't feel like we're progressing. And I've given up trying to encourage more time together. So I'd like to hope that Rock's wanting us to spend more time together wasn't just lip service.

So Hemingway let me get ready for my trip. Hawaii, here I come!

What's Up E?

Oh my gosh. I have been so bad in keeping up with my blogging and blogs. I just haven't felt like typing much with everything still being insane at the job. I think I'll pull a Norris and just provide a list of random events or things that have caught my attention in the last month. I reserve the right to ramble on a few.

1) I've been enjoying Season 1 of Dexter on DVD. The title character is a Miami blood forensics expert who moonlights as a serial killer with a twist. He's a killer of other serial killers. I admit it's an interesting dynamic since taking a human life is wrong but at the same time he's taking the lives of those who takes other lives and slip through the system. Plus it's so cool seeing Lauren Velez in another television series. I still have fond memories of her from her New York Undercover days. That's really old school. I also keep hoping Erik King takes off his shirt one day and preferably just wearing briefs. Tight briefs. That brotha is so fine.

2) Has anyone heard of the ROM machine? It claims that you can get a workout the equivalent of 45 minutes on the treadmill in just 4 minutes. I read an AD on the machine in Popular Mechanics, though I vaguely remember seeing the same AD a year ago in another magazine. If you click on the website, they'll send you a free 45 minute DVD or VHS tape on their machine. By the way, it only costs $14,615. They try to justify the cost when compared to long-term gym membership costs and time commitment required. I ordered the DVD, though I probably won't be buying a machine anytime soon. At least not with the way the economy is right now.

3) I went to see Janet Jackson in concert this past Thursday with Sally. Sally was using the concert as a last hurrah of sorts in light of her present financial situation. The concert was the bomb. The majority of the songs played was from her previous albums with a brief snippet of her recent song Feedback. I ran into Rock's bff Ned and his boyfriend NDrama in the hallway while Sally was in the restroom. Of course they got seats near the stage but I wasn't complaining about my lower level seat, which actually gave a very good view of the stage. LL Cool J was her opening act. I was hoping to see a little skin from LL but he kept his shirt on. Overall it was a great concert....now getting out of the parking lot, that was another story.

4) I so need to get ready for my Hawaiian trip. I totally need to contact fellow blogger NeenaLove to find out when we can hang out. Part of me hopes she can hang out with me during a luau, even though that's so touristy. And I need to buy a Spacebag to see if those things really do hold more items in less space. I think I've talked about it before.

5) Any other kefir lovers out there? A co-worker of mine turned me on to the drink a year or so back. I remembered liking it that initial time but not really thinking much of it afterwards. So Hemingway in my continued quest to eat healthier (even though some days that falls to the wayside...*LOL*), I read up on kefir and recalled drinking it before. The main benefit is that it provides good bacteria to your digestive tract, which helps improves digestion. It also helps in absorbing the necessary nutrients that your body needs. Plus it tastes so good. I've been drinking a glass every morning.

6) My one-year anniversary of owning my Nissan Altima is coming up. I still enjoy driving it as much as the day I took it from the lot. I want to get it professionally cleaned soon. I saw the immediate benefits of doing so when cleaning up the Cavalier before giving it to my father and figured an annual cleaning wouldn't be so bad. Of course when I told my bff Eugene about doing that, he had to counter with why I don't do the same thing for my house. I should but sigh...*LOL*.

7) I'm looking forward to the newest Saw movie coming out this Halloween. It seems to be an annual tradition now for those to come out. My only question is why is Lyriq Bent, the fine ass brotha that was in Saw 2, 3, and 4 (especially his prominent role in 4), not listed in the credits for 5? Hopefully he makes a cameo appearance and they are just hiding his name from the credits. After my fiasco last year with trying to see Saw IV with Eugene and the subsequent issues I had with Rock, I think this year I'll opt again for seeing it on my own (like I wound up doing anyway). Besides it's coming out the day after I get back from Hawaii.

8) I went to Detroit last weekend for Tasha's housewarming. I wound up getting her some Partylite candles and holders for her gift. I got to see a few of her friends and co-workers and it was interesting hearing how one of them said that Tasha talks about me all the time. A good interesting, of course. I must admit I was flattered. I got to see Trina as well when she came over after work. Of course I spent the rest of the weekend with the 'rents (heh). Their cats had a bad case of fleas when I was in town last time but luckily the population is under control now.

9) What a mess this country finds itself in. With all this talk of the government bailing out Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, and even the auto industry wanting to weigh in on getting help, my question is who's going to bail American out? I was wrapping up my workout (which I so needed) at work and making my way home when the first presidential debate was airing. Luckily I was able to catch a transcript of the debate from CNN's website. It was a shame I missed the historical debate between the two as from the way it read, it sounded really intense. I'm sure it'll be on Youtube soon. But I really looking forward to next week's vice presidential debate with Palin vs. Biden.

There was an interesting article from Washington Post columnist Kathleen Parker where in the last few sentences she says in regards to Palin: "McCain can’t repudiate his choice for running mate. He not only risks the wrath of the GOP’s unforgiving base, but he invites others to second-guess his executive decision-making ability. Barack Obama faces the same problem with Biden.

Only Palin can save McCain, her party and the country she loves. She can bow out for personal reasons, perhaps because she wants to spend more time with her newborn. No one would criticize a mother who puts her family first.

Do it for your country." I wonder if that'll be bought up in the debate.

10) I can't think of a point 10....but thought I should have 10 points to make things even. (Although it looks like based on the labels assigned for this post, I've covered almost every category.)

Talk To Myself

This song was the jam back in the day. I had the biggest crush on Christopher Williams. He was part of that New Jack era in music. I believe I read somewhere that he has ties to the late Ella Fitzgerald. I went to Amazon to try and find his first CD to see if it was on sale. But apparently there aren't many copies out there since the cheapest CD available was $60. Now I love Christopher but not that much.

I did remember buying a cassette of his album but I hadn't seen the cassette in years. That changed last week when I was cleaning out my closet and came across his cassette. I was so happy and was ready to play it, especially wanted to hear his jam I'm Your Present. (Let me make sure Rock's not around...*LOL*) Okay...coast clear. Chris could be my present anytime he wants to be.

The sad thing is that I don't even have a cassette player anymore. So I can't play my cassette. Is there anyway to convert my cassette music to CD? I'd love to play his songs on my PC.

Speaking of talking to myself, I've been doing a lot of that and cursing due to my job. Since the day after Labor Day, I've been working insane hours trying to fix various production issues in the system I support. For a few days I'd literally get up and within the hour log on, take a little breather here and there, but stay working till midnight or so. Luckily I did a lot of this from home but it was still pretty taxing on me.

My new manager who I need to come up with a nickname for, assuming I talk about her again, has been pretty supportive, though. She's been encouraging me to get away from the computer. Unfortunately though, my latest onshore coordinator keeps calling me at night with queries, which forces me back on the system. He's nice but can be a bit clingy. Hemingway.

I guess it didn't help during my stressful week that I was doing another MC....*LOL*. So I couldn't even snack while working. Actually that might've been a good thing, though. I'm wrapping up Day 9 now and should be done tomorrow night. I was contemplating doing an 11th day just to break my record but I don't think I can take another day of cayenne limade. Plus I'm starting to get way too skinny.

Tonight before getting home I bought all my ingredients for my veggie soup I'll be enjoying Friday evening. It's the usual carrots, celery, tomatoes, garbanzo beans, bean sprouts, and mushrooms...and of course I'll add lime and cayenne to it.

Sigh so Hemingway just wanted to post a quick entry to let anyone who's still visiting that I'm still around. Again I promise to make more of an effort to visit other blogs. Well as soon as I get past all these production issues. So I guess I'll log back into work. Joy!

Motivated Blob

I so need to log into work after this post, so it'll be relatively quick.

But Hemingway (haven't used that term in a minute) I just back from a quick hour work out. I had extra motivation from a picture Eugene had me look at this morning. Nothing like looking at hottie Daniel Jacobs to motivate you to go in the gym.





Only problem. The workout today was an extra struggle. I didn't quite reach my 10,000 strides on the elliptical. It was more around 8300. I think my splurging on a whole pound of plantain chips was to blame. Bad E I know. So good but so bad. So so good...wasn't even hungry for lunch. So pretty much yesterday that and some gummi worms was all I had to eat. Bad bad bad.





But hey. At least I did something. I wish I were in Cancun like Rock (it was a trip that his bff and he had planned a year back) but it's okay. Well back to my personal work hell.

By the way, a tip I learned from Sally while she was job hunting. Not sure if I mentioned it but she found a new job working at Home Depot full-time and Eddie Bauer part-time. They're not her ideal job but it gets her out of the house and some income in her pocket. But Hemingway the tip. She said that you can apply to get a certificate in substitute teaching. Once you have that certificate which is good for a year, if you get laid off, you can apply at different school districts to get a job subbing. If they select you, they pay you at minimum $100 a day (even if you don't teach). I printed out an application from the Illinois School Board of Education and am in the process of mailing it out along with a transcript from my University. You have to do what you gotta do in this market. Best thing, at least you can say on interviews that you have a current job. Just passing it along.

Hemingway let me log back to work before I get in trouble. Ciao.

The Big 8 8 08 Post

I'm alive.

I just had to post something today since it's all eights. I wonder if there's a lot of weddings today.

Work has been insane. I'm conflicted with feelings that I wish they'd lay me off already and the whole 'thank goodness I have a job' jazz. This project is trying to do me in. I don't think I can take it anymore.

But I went jet skiing two weekends ago in Lake Geneva with Rock and his best friend Ned (and his boo...*LOL*). In between freaking out about drowning (and the making a joke that if I did, at least I didn't have to deal with work), I actually had fun.

Well I got to get ready for you know what.

I'll try to post more often and visit my fellow bloggers. I've been bad at doing so these last few weeks. Ciao.

Ironed Out

My work life has been hell. I was transferred to another project a few months back as part of our reorg. Not only am I learning the current processes of the project but I'm also slated to make major changes to how the process works. The business user is very demanding as well, throwing question after question to research on in the midst of maintaining and learning the current process. We have offshore staff that also works on these requests as we receive them but the changes have been coming fast and furious. It's gotten to the point where I'm working 10-12 hour days some days.

Fussy has expressed displeasure in the output he's received from our group so for the last four weeks we've had 6:30AM conference calls every other day with offshore to discuss updates. I'm not a morning person at all so it's been a bit rough. An added complexity is that I've started another Master Cleanse (don't judge me...*LOL*) and on the days I have the 6:30AMs, I have to wake up at 4:15 to drink my salt water. I'll be on Day 7 on Sunday. What's worse is that Fussy has been demanding face-to-face meetings with me on days that I work from home. Unfortunately to accommodate him, I've had to go along with these but in the last week it's meant having to make my limade drinks on the fly and then driving the 50 minutes or so to the job.

The worse thing about it is that he still won't be satisfied and I already know I'll get a negative review next year (in the unfortunate event I'm still working at my current company...you know that four year and counting plan to leave the job is still on...*LOL*). The upshot is that management knows he's demanding. But nonetheless I know I'll need to try and find a way for him to be somewhat happy.

My work situation has been so stressful that it's affected my relationship with Rock. The thing is I don't like talking about work once I'm off the clock. But Rock knows that work is the source of my stress. Since work's been on my mind, I haven't really thought about much else. He expressed concern that our relationship was getting stagnant since we hardly talked about much. We were having a "discussion" over the phone last week on this and I told him that I don't like talking about work because I don't want to come across as whiny.

I also temper the I hate work talk because my friend Sally is still trying to find employment. It's that whole 'I hate my job but I'm glad I have employment' syndrome. Who am I to sound ungrateful when Sally would love to be employed again?

Rock texted me on Wednesday after our "discussion" telling me that he's there for me to vent at. I don't know if it was the cleanse or the fact that I was struggling to answer another one of Fussy's queries but I felt myself tear up. Luckily I was working from home that day...*LOL*. I called Rock in tears confessing to him that I was frustrated at my work situation and feared that the company would have grounds to fire me since I wasn't satisfying Fussy's queries fast enough. I also told him that I'm supposed to be the calm, collected one (everyone at work sees me that way) and I can't fall apart. Plus being a black man means working over 110% and I couldn't afford any perception that I couldn't handle the project. Rock told me he's there for me and everything would be okay. He had to get back to work himself so we hung up. He checked on me later that afternoon to make sure I was fine.

So Hemingway I'm actually going to drive up to see Rock tomorrow. Since I'll still be cleansing I'll need to bring my drinks with me for when I get hungry. He'll also eat breakfast ahead of time since I can't eat any.

It'll be interesting to see what he thinks of me. Will I be looking scary to him? He's never seen me during one of my cleanses. I've done three of them since we've been dating and should be wrapping up this one by Wednesday.

We're going to see Iron Man. He's excited about that since he remembers the cartoon series. He's a cartoon junkie so I'm sure he'll enjoy it. It'll be great to spend time with him. Last weekend he was in Springfield hanging with his crew while the weekend before I was hanging with my blogger crew.

So I'm definitely looking forward to seeing him. It'll be great to take my mind off work for a few hours as well.

Oh well. Let me finish my laxative tea and go to bed. I have another round of salt water to look forward to first thing in the morning.

Summer Hotties

Summer Bunnies - R. Kelly

[Pre-Bridge]
Girl, you know you knock me out
You're a real girl with your looks now baby
Girl you know you knock me out

[Chorus]
*Summer bunnies drive me crazy
(repeat 4 times with ad libs)

[Verse 1]
1,2,3,4 it's time for me to jet
Where ya goin' off to?
The beach, that's a bet
It's summertime so it's time to get a summer bunny

Some of those and I won't call 'em whores
'Cause in the 90s you gotta respect the ladies
So step up to 'em and say, we love you sweet Sadie
That's how you get your true mock on but
Brothers be steppin' up poppin' that sad song

Hey don't I know you from somewhere?
Can we go somewhere to be alone?
I pull up in the lot, pop the trunks
Make their heads bob
And it's sunny so it's time to get a summer bunny

[CHORUS]

[VERSE 2]
It's five o'clock and my voice code is 22
So beep, beep, beep, it's time for me to make a move
I'm on my way to a picnic, we got time
But I wanna be early, fool
So I can catch the new bunnies comin' in
Like the old school

Strollin' the block so I can check the scenery
The sun plays, the day is feelin' good to me
I can just semll the funky beats
You know the flavor in between the sheets

I told my boy Big Al, said just keep it straight
Said, I know I got a novelty to validate
So who's the bunny lookin' sweet like a honeycomb?
He said, "No my brother, you got to get your own"

[CHORUS]

[VERSE 3]
This party is packed, word to the mother
I love it when there's three bunnies to one brother
And wine coolers is what I'm packin'
And when I get my buzz on is when I start bunny-jackin'

Jackin' fools for their bunnies
'Cause I'm the K, the E, the double L, the Y
They wanna get with me
And the PAs in the house
So check, check, check it out

My stomach is growlin' so it's time to get mine on
Some soul food, Kool Aid and you know it's on
I hate to eat and run but I'm out my homie
Been invited to a block party

So we roll up in all our style
With the brothers yellin', summer bunnies

[CHORUS]

[BRIDGE]
Let's break it down -
You're lookin' feel good with your boots on, baby (3 times)

[CHORUS]

R. Kelly is a freaking mess and in light of his disturbing fascination with young girls (which has that even seen the light of day in court yet), I shouldn't be posting his lyrics. But damn was I not thinking of this song the other day.

The weather's getting nicer. And with that nice weather, folks are starting to shed their clothing. I was chatting with Eugene the other day and he was telling me how he can't help but admire the male students and how they're showing off their upper bodies with tight clothing. Every other minute this week it was like...'oooh this hunk this and oooh this hunk that'...*LOL*. He even gets to see them flex in front of him when they visit his office for class related stuff. I envy him in some respects because as a college professor, he has daily access to eye candy that I don't. I mean, don't get me wrong. About 3% of the male work population at my job are "eye candy" worthy. For example, there's this one tall latino faux-security guard in my building that I can't help but "feen" (I think that's a word...*LOL*) over. Luis looks so built in his uniform. We always greet each other when I leave the building and I swear at one point I thought he was trying to holler. I even made up an excuse to chat with Luis a few weeks back hoping for a spark. I got one of those stupid warning work parking tickets for taking up two spots. That was my opportunity. It was only a couple seconds of chatting but damn it was nice seeing him up close and I was so looking for a wedding ring...*LOL*. But I wouldn't take things any further Hemingway. Besides...I'm married....*LOL*. But Luis is the exception to a mostly ugh rule. Eugene has a larger selection to feast his eyes on.

But I'm looking forward to seeing the shirtless hunks jogging around my neighborhood. It's also nice seeing these guys as I'm going about doing my business. It's one of the things I look forward to when summer hits. I'm hoping that winter is officially over since you never know in Chicago.

Hemingway today's my office day. So I'm about to get ready for the job. Hope everyone has a Happy Friday. TGIF.

B'more Random Musings

This past weekend, I was one of twelve bloggers who attended the first annual Blogger's Family Reunion. I was nervous about attending since despite my blogging for over three years, I felt I'd be the most unknown entity. I'm the only blogger of the twelve that has no form of identification on my blog. My initial reason for not disclosing my picture was fearing someone I know would recognize me and my gay secret would come out. After a while though, that fear was gone (especially when the ladies I came out to both said they knew) and I enjoyed the idea of hiding behind a cartoon. It mirrored my life perfectly. I'm the guy behind the scenes that is rarely noticed and is always trying to blend (not always successfully) with my surroundings. It's my preference since I tend to avoid a lot of drama (aside from my own manufactured drama) that way. Sometimes I'll try to be more adventurous and carefree but that's usually after cautiously weighing out the pros and cons.

I realized that by coming to Baltimore I would no longer be able to hide behind the cartoon. Sure some of my blog family has seen me before. But none of those visits were big planned events where lots of photos would be taken and posted on their blogs. I knew I wouldn't be able to stop that from happening. I wavered back and forth over whether I should go or not. But I decided to fuck it and just go. I knew it'd be great to meet everyone else and also visit the Baltimore area again. I used to live outside of Baltimore years ago before moving to Chicago. Of course I was young and naive back then and was in deep denial about my gayness. I wasn't doing much in the straight arena either. But that's for another entry. *LOL*.

I'm definitely glad I took Friday off since work has been ten kinds of stressful. I'm adjusting to a new project and manager and both have been challenging. Not to make light of women having babies but this project has bought moments when I wished I were nine months pregnant so I could take a three month leave.

So Hemingway I packed lightly (too lightly) and after Southwest's usual delays, eventually arrived in Baltimore around 4:50PM. The first blogger I met was Norris. Norris had the distinction (at that time) of being the only blogger of the remaining eleven that I've met personally when he visited Chicago. He was nice enough to pick me up from the airport and hook me up with a sweet hotel deal at Hammond Inn. (Unfortunately I had gone to hotwire and booked another hotel at Westin that I couldn't get my money back for. But I figured since I wouldn't be renting a car while in Baltimore and the deal I got wound up being about the price I'd pay for a rental Hemingway that it was all good.)

Norris dropped me off at my hotel and promptly went back to his hotel to take a nap. I stepped into my room and chilled for a bit. I chatted with Rock for a few minutes, who himself was at his Mom's place putting together her new Bose surround sound system while she was visiting her sister in Springfield. I was telling him how nice the room was and how I wished he could be with me. The room was even nicer than the one Rock and I stayed at when we visited St. Louis a couple weekends ago (I have to blog about that too...so behind in blogging..thanks to my stressful job).

I received a text later from Norris telling me that Cocoa Rican was also staying at the Hammond and he gave me his room number to call. I promptly called his room, curious to chat with him. He didn't pick up however. I later learned that he was with Mr Jones getting all the party favors for the night.

I entertained myself with logging into my laptop and surfing the Net. Eugene called to shoot the breeze and we killed time talking about various topics until my stomach started to rumble. I told Eugene I needed to go find out when dinner was happening. I only had Rice Krispies cereal and Chex mix for food that day. I called Norris but he was still sleeping. I totally understood since he drove ten hours from Atlanta to be at the event. I realized that I would have to take matters into my own hands and made my way to the Harbor, which was only three short blocks from my hotel.

Figuring that we'd all go to dinner later, I simply bought a greasy pizza from S'barro's. I also beforehand stopped at The Gap for a t-shirt but balked that there weren't any real sales (even if they're perceived) to be had. As I finished up on the pizza, I got a call from Norris that he was getting ready to pick me up. I made my way back to the hotel and quickly showered and got dressed.

I met Norris outside in his car and he mentioned that we're also waiting for Cocoa Rican. The man himself eventually came and we greeted each other. My first impression of him was that he's short and fiery. I could definitely pick up on his New York accent, which made me think of The Nanny. I got the impression from his banter that he could be quite the character.

We later arrived at Homewood Suites and made our way to the 11th floor. We walked towards a corner suite and as were were arriving, a friend of Mr. Jones, Nia was leaving. I saw Mr Jones and another blogger (I assumed) that I didn't immediately recognize. I introduced myself and immediately went for some chips and I may have had a rum and cranberry. A question on where the other blogger was from led to conclude that Lauderdaleboi1500 (Andre) was in the house. My first impression of Andre was that he was a very friendly guy. He seemed to be in awe (like I was) of the guys in the room. He looked like he was about 18 and I held that assumption since I didn't recall him fixing a drink.

I enjoyed the variety of banter that mostly Norris, Cocoa, and Mr. Jones were giving. Nia soon came back as well. I was curious if we were still going to dinner but gave up on that idea when remembering that more guys were coming and it was hitting close to midnight (though truth I lost track of time).

Two more bloggers came into the mix, neither of whom I immediately recognized. I introduced myself to Joey Bahamas and j_shanlin (Jared). Joey was quite the fashion plate, appearing like he could walk the runway. Jared as I would learn was the youngest of the bunch and I swear I've read his blog before but couldn't find any comments from me. Jared was cute and goofy and his various antics were among the evening highlights. He later left to go get Promiscuous X, who I was mixing up with another "X" blogger (who's blog is defunct and replaced by another weird blog...so I guess he's not blogging anymore).

Then the guys termed as the "Jersey Crew" arrived. All three blogs I've recalled and I was excited to meet them, especially ShawnQT, who reminds me of a smaller Rock. I also remembered ShawnQT's better half Fuzzy and their friend Ty. Both Shawn and Fuzzy displayed a playful nature and I enjoyed seeing how they took care of each other. Ty came across as very level-headed and the brains of a successful corporation. Fuzzy made a comment that Ty and I dressed almost similarly and as I looked closer I realized that he did.

Jared returned with Promiscuous X. I think I responded to an entry he had mimicking the popular Who Wants To Be A Millionaire game. He straight up had the dl-thug look going for him. He did exude a certain swagger about him and it was cool seeing him interact with the rest of the crew.

Eventually the last of the bloggers, Darius, showed up. It was cool finally meeting since we've talked of meeting in our hometown but never materialized.

The conversations ranged from different experiences certain bloggers were going through to the numerous clubs that bloggers have gone to. As one of only two older bloggers (I won't reveal the other one...*LOL*), I felt a bit old and behind the times of the twenty-something majority. Of course I know you're only as old as you feel.

I was extra excited seeing snippets of a couple reruns of Half & Half. I "let that be the reason" I named my blog Half & Half, Tit & Tit. It made me angry again remembering how the show got killed before its time. I can only hope they release the entire series on DVD eventually. It might take another twenty years, though.

It got quite loud at different points of the evening and I started wondering when we'd get the knock or phone call from hotel security telling us to keep it down. But neither came and it was hilarious seeing Mr. Jones remind everyone to use their "inside voices" every fifteen minutes and then proceed to be just as loud. Guess in our group it was the only way to be heard. That could explain why I wasn't heard...*LOL*.

It was close to the witching hour (actually way past it) and we needed to decide as a group what was happening tomorrow. Mr. Jones suggested we all get together at noon for a "communal breakfast".

It was 12:30 PM on Saturday when the first group got together. It comprised of Mr Jones, Norris, Cocoa, Andre, Darius, and myself. After a debate between eating out and buying breakfast foods, it was decided to do the latter. So the six of us walked a couple blocks to where Mr. Jones parked his rental. We drove to a "Whole Foods" like store (can't remember the name) where we proceeded to buy eggs, breakfast sausage, bacon, OJ, and potatoes and Darius picked up a few extra things that he felt would make breakfast complete.

Before arriving back at the hotel, Mr. Jones got a call from the other blogger half stating that they were at the hotel. We arrived a little bit after 2PM. There was a bit of debate over who'd cook breakfast but Fuzzy immediately stepped up to the task. I went searching for pots and only found one so Norris went down to the front for some more. Eventually I quietly stepped up and with Fuzzy's assist turned on the portable grill and cooked all the sausage and bacon. I'm proud to say that I didn't burn any of the bacon...*LOL*. I texted Rock afterwards and told him that I owed him a cooked breakfast. Fuzzy cut up some potatoes and onions and cooked those up to rave reviews.

We then spent the afternoon watching the Phoenix Suns against the San Antonio Spurs. Ty mentioned having a crush on Tim Duncan but nobody else was really feeling him. He'll be happy to know that the Spurs beat the Suns 117-115 in double overtime. Of course the discussion centered on the difference between straight men watching the game versus gay men, with the latter instead of focusing on gameplay and scoring focusing on asses and who got the sharpest look.

It was decided to meet back in Homewood around 8:30PM and head out for dinner. I had just enough time to run back to the Harbor to pick up a couple t-shirts and some socks. We wound up going to Burger King's instead where I was forced to buy a Whopper (mostly cause I was hungry...*LOL*). Norris was nice enough to get me a wrap from McDonald's earlier that I was hoping would tide me up for a real sit-down dinner. We got that sit down dinner but little did I know that sit-down wouldn't happen until 3AM...*LOL*.

The game plan was originally to go to a club that I can't recall the name. We wound up not getting in due to Jared being so young. ShawnQT cracked me up with his description of the guys being too "DC looking" (or something like that). I took it to mean ugly and I got that confirmation when I asked him how many drinks it'd take to make them attractive and Shawn said none. I was pleasantly surprised when Fuzzy gave me his phone and it was Soldier. I had forgotten that Soldier was friends with Fuzzy and ShawnQT. Soldier was basically checking in with me to make sure I was having fun. It was totally cool hearing from him.

We wound up going to a sports bar thanks to the suggestion of Joey Bahamas. He wound up having a hook up there who made sure we had our drink on. I was even surprised when my glass had an "E" shaped piece of ice on it, which I had Ty capture in his still shots. I swear it was a sign from above. Ohhh...I guess you might see a picture or two of me in there as well....*LOL*.

Joey Bahamas came to the rescue again suggesting a great 24-hour breakfast diner spot. By then, though, I was thinking that my early morning flight wasn't sure a great idea. I was just hoping that I wouldn't fall asleep and miss my flight. I was feeling a bit cranky by then and it showed. But the morning picked up when a drag version of my favorite character on Half & Half BDD made an appearance. He even had an entourage of really hot B-boys around him. I would've said something but luckily the rest of the crew interacted and I believe Mr. Darius managed to capture a picture of him in his stills (among other pictures). I swear that put a smile on my face and eventually my hunger returned as Joey made suggestions on what to order.

My medium-well steak turned out perfect, though Darius and Mr. Jones's similar ordered steaks weren't to their liking. Luckily things were eventually fixed to their satisfaction and eventually we exited the restaurant.

By the time we got back it was after 5:30AM. Knowing that I might oversleep, I sent Rock a text around 2AM telling him to call me at 5AM his time (6AM mine) to wake me up. He wound up calling just as I was exiting Mr. Jones car. I chatted with him as Cocoa and I made our way to our respective rooms.

I wound up staying up since I didn't want to risk falling asleep. The original plan was to have Norris drop me at the airport but since Norris needed to drop different folks off himself and had the pleasure of driving ten hours back to ATL, I told him not to worry about it. I had the hotel call me a taxi and by 7AM I had checked out and made my way to BWI.

That ended my adventures in Baltimore.

I smiled a bit reading a few recollections of the weekend and how I was perceived (or not perceived at all...*LOL*) by a few bloggers. For the most part, I am a low key individual. I enjoyed listening to everyone banter and occasionally when asked, throwing a few words or two. I just am not an overly animated person that needs to be heard (and actually when I did speak I couldn't be heard anyway...*LOL*) or perform antics to get noticed. Not that there's anything wrong with that. It's just not my thing. When things got really loud, I definitely wasn't up for shouting myself. I was too worried about the people trying to sleep in the other rooms around us...*LOL*. And the fact that I wasn't shouting or performing antics wound up getting me noticed anyway. Promiscuous X a couple times came up to me asking how come I wasn't speaking and at times seeming shocked when I did. Mr. Jones and to a lesser extent Cocoa (except on his assessment of me on his blog...*LOL*) also kept checking to make sure I was okay. But I was just fine. If nothing else, Norris and I from time to time nonverbally communicated with each other in between his own antics with the group...*LOL*.

Sigh...back to work hell. I so need to play the lottery.

Follow

Follow - Gary Taylor

[Verse 1]
I'll follow you wherever you go
I'll follow you....forever
I'll follow you and you'll always know
My love for you is...forever

[Verse 2]
I'll follow you to the end of the Earth
I'll follow you...forever
I'll follow you for whatever it's worth
My love for you is...forever

[Verse 3]
I'll follow you for more than a day
I'll follow you...forever
I'll follow you just to hear you say
Your love for me is...forever

I've been mentioning Gary Taylor a lot in my blog lately. Follow is a simple ballad from his first album Compassion. It's a ballad with such few words. The first minute of the song is purely instrumental with an occasional grunt from Gary. It isn't until the one and a half minute mark that you hear Gary's first words. However Gary makes the most of those few words. It's definitely powerful to say that you'll follow someone forever. Can you imagine in real life finding someone that you would do that for (other than family)?

I decided to upload the song via my Jumpcut account so everyone can listen to it. Hemingway I thought of the song earlier today as Rock shared some interesting information.

Hemingway Rock's told me before that he doesn't want to live in Rockford forever. I mean I've been there a few times and I honestly can't say I blame him. When I say the town is boring, I mean it's b-o-r-i-n-g. Okay if you enjoy restaurants and general activities like movies, shopping, etc., then there are some good places to go. But Rockford's a pretty backward area to live in as far as cities. I live in a slightly more progressive burb and even I can't see myself living there forever, even though it's going on 8 years. But this comes from the brother who said he'd leave his job a year ago...so there you go. *LOL*. Speaking of the job, so much is going on there (not sure if it's for the better just yet....but I'll have to blog about that another time).

So yesterday morning Rock mentions that he received a call last night from his close friend Stoney in New York. Stoney mentioned to Rock that an ex-boyfriend of his (Stoney's not Rock's) works for a major accounting firm that's looking for 'black accountants'. Rock seemed pretty excited by the prospect even though nothing's happened yet. Rock said if the money was right, he would immediately jump at the chance to relocate elsewhere. I told Rock I'd follow him wherever he goes...as long as it's not Timbuktu or something. I said it rather quickly and actually a few times we've discussed relocating before I told him the same.

You see, it wasn't long ago I was looking for a change of scenery. I had flirted with the thought of moving to Seattle or Charlotte in the last couple years but the former didn't materialize because I found it boring while the latter didn't mostly because I met Rock. But I totally feel like I'm ready for a new adventure myself. Well I've been ready for a while.

After I hung up with Rock this morning, the gravity of what I said hit me. I'm talking about following a man wherever he goes. It seems so crazy. One only has to think of the back and forth motions Rock and I go through to question the sanity. One week we're doing great, the next we're on the verge of breaking up.

This past Sunday was the first time Rock and I had seen each other in almost three weeks. I actually purposely made myself busy but Rock was determined to meet me. Originally I was supposed to head to Detroit for Easter weekend with Sally but Sally chickened out with the weather and I decided not to risk it myself.

Rock was content to meet me the following weekend but since my trip didn't happen, I told Rock that I would make a quick trip this weekend. So not wanting to go a month without seeing me, he decided he needed to find a way to see me Easter weekend.

One of the issues that was happening though is that Rock was determining when we would see each other. It was advised by my bff Eugene that I purposely make myself unavailable just so I'm not always there at Rock's beck and call. The reasoning being that Rock doesn't always make himself available when I want to see him yet I've always been available for him.

So since I didn't go home Easter weekend, I suggested to Sally that I attend Easter service with her and then we go to lunch afterwards. Sally was game.

I told Rock about my plans and feigned like I forgot that I made them earlier before agreeing to meet with Rock on Sunday, even though I had made the plans with Sally after the fact. But Rock was determined to see me and since he would be out of town this week for work, he wouldn't even be available to meet half way for dinner. Then by the time he got back, I would be making my way to Detroit for the weekend. Note that I've made these same suggestions to Rock weeks earlier but he wasn't "up for seeing me".

So Rock was trying to figure something out and I couldn't bring myself to saying that I wasn't up for seeing him. It was harder since my "non-juice" ass was up for seeing him...*LOL*. So I made the suggestion that maybe he could hang out with Sally and I during lunch. He was game.

So he wound up meeting Sally and I for lunch. He even texted me with the idea of us paying for Sally's lunch. I thought it was a nice gesture on his part. I had mentioned to him Sally's continued search for a new job and how so far things haven't turned up for her. Of course Sally was appreciative that we covered her tab.

Afterwards Rock and I sat in his truck and talked for a few minutes before going our separate ways. It felt like we really missed each other and Rock kept mentioning how he had to see me this weekend since he hadn't seen me prior. He told me later on how inconvenient the afternoon lunch was for him (since he wanted to be back in Rockford early enough to pack for his work trip...him and his early planning and all...*LOL*) but that he wanted to make the extra effort to see me and let me know that he wanted to see me. I reminded Rock how in the first few months of our relationship, we made more of an effort to see each other. He remembered and agreed that we needed to work our way back to that level.

It was a sweet conversation. I swear I wanted to kiss him so bad but since we weren't in boystown or somewhere private, I couldn't. So we just smiled, touched each other's hands, and I left to walk towards my car.

So Hemingway back to the topic at hand. If I were to follow Rock, the next question would be would we live together. Could we live together? Part of me thinks it would be better for us to still live separately initially just so we could get used to having our own space. Then hopefully if we continue progressing, we move in together.

It would probably be better that way initially since neither of us are officially out with our family and friends. I could see my parents (especially my Mom) flipping out if I told her I was moving to live with a guy. It'd be easier to say I'm moving because of a job opportunity. Hmm. I guess until the stock thing takes off I would need to find another job. I'm pretty sure I could find a decent job wherever we go.

It's definitely a big step. I never thought I'd find anyone that I'd even consider doing it with.

So in short, yes, I'd follow Rock wherever he goes. I'll follow Rock...forever.