My first blog focused on me as a closeted gay black male navigating my life during my 30's. Part two now finds me close to 40 and beyond as a somewhat out gay male still navigating myself through all the issues thrown my way and as always, handling it in true E fashion.
I teased about it in my last voice blog about doing the Master Cleanse and now I'm putting it into action. I can't believe I'm doing it but I got the limes (there was a sale of 12 for a dollar that I couldn't resist...*LOL*), cayenne pepper, grade B maple syrup, sea salt, and I need to get the laxative tea.
I first read about the MasterCleanse from the now defunct DizYaBoy's blog. I was amazed to hear how DizYaBoy's father did the cleanse for about a month & the favorable results he was getting. I was thinking...all he's drinking is lemonade with cayenne and maple syrup, how is that healthy? I don't remember him mentioning the Sea Water Flush (the sea salts contain a lot of the nutrients needed) and lemons actually have a lot of nutritional value.
I then read about Marlon making an attempt. Looking at his blog, led me to the MasterCleansers blog, where a group of folks created a blog to share their experiences on the cleanse.
This was all back in June and July.
Hemingway I've been doing lots of reading on different message boards such as The MC and Raw Foods Site. I've gotten a lot of informative information from there.
But I've been scared. Truth is, I don't know if I'll even make it past a day. I mean, can my hunger be curbed merely by this drink (and lots of water).
There's a lot of talk of what's called "detox symptoms". Things such as headaches, chills, tiredness, aches & pains, and general irritability that comes during the cleanse, which many recommend you do for 10 days minimum. The thought of having those freaks me out but is part of the deal, I suppose. It's said that most "detox symptoms" disappear after taking a dump.
Knowledge is power, though. That's why I've been reading up on it. So now I'm ready to give it a spin. My first day is tomorrow. I'll probably post either daily or periodical updates (assuming I don't quit Day 1...*LOL*) on how I'm feeling. I hope I can do this.
Now is probably as good of a time as any for me to start since my trips to Raliegh, Las Vegas, and Boston begin on October 13th. Wish me luck!
Eugene got into one of his rants with me the other night. He's very into politics and every now and then he gets on my case for not showing interest. His ENTP enjoys the lively debate but my ISFP could care less. *LOL*. Aside from repeatedly quoting from some John Wayne movie that he smells like "lilies in the valley" (yeah that's what he said...*LOL*), he was reminding me that it's my obligation to be informed about what the government is doing.
I must admit that since Bush weasled himself into a second term of office, I've lost interest. I mean I get a chuckle out of the stories that show us what a buffoon our current president is. But otherwise I get too caught up in my own personal interests to give two hoots about D.C.
Eugene reminded me that because of this apathy by millions of Americans such as myself, the government has gotten away with a lot of injustices that otherwise might've been prevented. Biggest case in point being the war in Iraq.
Surprisingly Eugene doesn't buy conspiracy theories that 911 was concocted to get Americans to favor the war. But he does think that Bush and his department didn't take the necessary precautions needed to avoid the tragedy.
Since Eugene's a college professor, he's made the observation that foreign students know more about American politics than American students do. That's sad but true.
All you need to do is turn on Jay Leno to see the general lack of basic knowledge folks have on the most basic of questions. Stuff like who's the first president of the United States? The clips are funny but sad.
Eugene's made it his mission to get me to at least watch one 'serious' news piece a week. He's given me such links as the cost of Iraq war that displays how much money is going toward the war and where that money could've gone to instead. He gave me a link to Boston's NPR website and an interview host Tom Ashbrook gave to economist Joseph Stiglitz on globalization and what went right and wrong.
I do have to remind myself to also check out some of my fellow bloggers such as Rod and Clay Cane who share their political views & articles on current events.
I think Eugene's mission may not be impossible. Ignorance in this case is not bliss.
I've been in a bit of an antisocial mood lately. Well more of a selective antisocial mood. I've been trying to date here and there with predictable results. It's been disappointing. I've no clue why I keep trying.
Fortunately though, I've met a guy (let's call him Spades) that I think is shaping up to be a really cool friendship. (Famous last words, of course.) The biggest thing I like about him....he says what he says and means what he means. We hung out this past Saturday and the thing I liked was that Spades called beforehand to make sure we were still on. Usually that's something I have to do and sometimes I don't even get the guy I'm trying to reach. So the fact that he was doing it was a plus.
We really hit it off during lunch, I even swatted a wasp for him with my bare hands. Gross. That pretty much ended lunch and we wound up going to Oak Brook to do some shopping. Overall I had a great time.
We hung out again tonight (09/19) at TGIF's and again Spades called about an hour before the event to make sure that we were still on. That was real cool. Of course he wound up being fifteen minutes late. Well you can't have everything...*LOL*.
Hemingway we may hang out together in Vegas for my post-birthday. We both tripped out when learning that we share the same birthday (except I'm 5 years his senior). So I already booked my trip to Vegas, which will happen immediately after my trip to Raliegh. Hopefully he'll be able to book his soon. We'll see. I so can't wait for my annual vacation time to come up.
Again. Hemingway...a new season of bowling starts at my job. My old team has totally disbanded. Star bowler Reid decided to retire from the game and devote more time and money to fishing. Others weren't as receptive to bowl at the same league and I not wanting to be a martyr again (basically bowling almost 100% of the time) opted to disband the team.
I was actually content with not bowling this year. But word of our team's demise spread fast and next thing I know, the rival captain from last year was asking me to join their team. Actually I believe she asked Reid before me, but well his, you know, retirement and well....one thing led to another and I'm back in the league.
But that may be temporary. Truth is, I'm not really feeling the bowling thing this year. Everyone is so overly chatty and I feel bad because I don't feel particularly chatty. Twice I had to rebuff attempts to hang out with my team and others afterwards for dinner. I do realize the whole point of bowling is to interact with others on your team and possibly do some networking. I don't know. It feels weird bowling on a different team and not being the captain.
I was a bit annoyed too during our first week bowling. I came a few minutes late and they have the rule now that if the other players there complete their 3rd frame, then they don't allow you to jump in. The reason is because they have a union league that comes immediately after our league and they want to speed things up. That was one of the things that my former team was annoyed about. It just felt like we were being rushed. So that irked me a bit.
Second annoying point of the evening. I finally get to bowl in the second game and my game is so-so, nothing spectacular. So I tell another bowler that I'm bowling for handicap this week. So then she immediately starts yelling to the entire alley and pointing at me calling me a sandbagger. For those that don't know, sandbagging is when you're bowling way below your normal average, which yeilds you a higher handicap, and later on when you kick ass, your team can win because you're bowling way above average.
So of course now everyone's making a stink about it and everytime I miss a spare, I'm hearing how I'm purposely doing it. Then another guy bowls a 225 and makes it a point to say that he wasn't sandbagging. Then another guy gets accused of sandbagging. It was so irritating.
I'm like really not feeling this bowling thing this season. I was invited by the other team to bowl because their normal regular injured himself in an accident and would likely be out of commission for a minute. Hopefully he'll get back in business soon so I can quit. I'm like so ready for this season to be over and it hasn't even gotten to week two yet.
Maybe I'll be better this week. Eugene kept asking me why I didn't want to hang out with them afterwards. The thing is I know my captain does the dinner thing every week. And I'm like, I can do it once a month but I'll be damned if I have to go out every week. Number one, they're co-workers and I don't share much of my life with them and I feel like I'm on the spotlight everytime. It's challenging enough as it is chatting while bowling...*LOL*.
So you may ask, why am I even bowling? When I come up with a plausible answer, I'll let you know. Heh...as Big Marz would say....A MESS!
I can't believe it's been five years since the infamous 9-11. Whether you think it was all part of a government conspiracy, a scam, or that Bin Laden is responsible, it's on that day that life in the U.S. has changed for so many of us. The most obvious affect on most of us is the extra security checkpoints and procedures that we have to endure at the airport. Before 9-11 your loved ones could pass through security checkpoints without a boarding ticket. Before 9-11 you didn't have to worry about folks seeing your hole-y socks because of a shoe check. I shudder to think about it but there may come a time when you're expected to come naked at the airport and still have a cavity search for hidden explosives.
Those hassles pale in comparison to all of those who lost loved ones at the World Trade Center. I couldn't even begin to imagine the psychological turmoil survivors are still facing. It irks me that opportunistic movies such as World Trade Center come out and they can't even get their facts straight.
Hemingway I remember my first moments when I first heard about what happened. I was late as usual to my job. I was jamming to one of my CDs so I hadn't been listening to any radio reports.
I remember walking into my office and noticing a lot of somber, confused faces. I had no idea what was going on but noticed a bunch of folks by a TV. I went to my desk to put my bag away and as I walked towards my desk, that's when I heard people talking about it. I remember it being a surreal moment.
I went over to our "mini" fitness center to watch the TV and within minutes, saw both planes crashing into the World Trade Center. I remember being stunned. I stayed for a half-hour to watch the news, leaving eventually when it got to be repeative.
It was hard to work that day with all the focus being on what just happened. I surfed the Net for more information. It was pretty crazy day.
The event even affected something mundane as Big Brother 2. At the time, the three remaining houseguests had all information from the outside world shut from them. Debates raged all over about how cruel it was to keep that information from them and whether the game should be stopped, especially since one of the contestants had a relative that worked in the World Trade Center at the time that was missing (and I believe was later counted among the dead).
Was it a government conspiracy? Was it a scam? Was it an act of terrorism?
Will we ever know the real answer? Somebody knows.
Oddly enough, part of Madonna's lyrics to "Live To Tell" seems an appropriate way to end this entry.
"If I ran away, I'd never have the strength to go very far. How will they hear the beating of my heart?
Will it grow cold? The secret that I hide. Will I grow old?
How will they hear? When will they learn? How would they know?"
Definitely not a classic! I started listening to it recently and have it on repeat. Yes I know it's over three years old. Oddly enough, considering my lip fiasco, it's strangely appropriate. The taste of my lips probably would be toxic right about now. *LOL*.
Hemingway I recently took a personality test at Eugene's urging to get a better understanding of who I am. The test is known as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test. Eugene took the test years back when he was a dorm counselor and he swore that the results fit in with his personality so well. Naturally he was curious where I fit and after hearing about the test, I was naturally curious myself.
Years ago when I first started at my current job, I took a personality test called TDF. It was designed to gauge your preferred mode of dealing with issues. The order of the letters were determined based on a series of adjectives and the frequency you used said adjective. T stood for thinking, D stood for deciding, and F stood for Feeling. My order was TFD, which signified that I typically think about a given situation first, feel out how it may affect me and others, and then decide.
When I got my results for that test, I did find a lot of what was said was true about me. I usually do prefer working through issues on my own before assisting others. Also whenever I get stressed, I withdraw myself from a given situation. The link I provided above gives a more detailed outlook on the six different types.
Myers-Briggs breaks down your personality in even more detail. It lumps your overall personality into four different categories. Each category you fall in is given a letter, just like in TDF. It sums up how different people approach life. According to the theory, we're all born with a predispostion for certain personality preferences. This is an unconscious preference that feels the most natural and comfortable.
The first letter you receive is assigned based on how you like your world. Do you let the whole world in or do you tend to shut off most of it? Are you an Extravert or Introvert?
The second letter you receive is assigned based on how you like to receive your information. Do you tend to focus on only the facts or do you add your own interpretations and meanings? Are you a Sensor or INtuitive?
The third letter you receive is assgined based on your approach to making decisions. Do you prefer to look at things logically or do you look at the affect on people and the circumstances of the given situation? Are you a Thinker or a Feeler? (Wow...that's TDF in a nutshell...*LOL*)
The final letter you receive is based on your approach to structure. Do you prefer to have plans or are you more spontaneous? Are you a Judger or Perceiver?
The four letters all together determines the category you fall under. There's up to 16 different combinations. ESTJ, ESTP, ESFJ, ESFP, ENTJ, ENTP, ENFJ, ENFP, ISTJ, ISTP, ISFJ, ISFP, INTJ, INTP, INFJ, and INFP.
I took the test online at My Life Coach. The basic STEP 1 test that just summarizes your personality is $29.95 and the STEP II test, which I took, was $49.95. According to Eugene, it was one of the cheaper prices for the test, which can run as high as $100.
Basically the test is divided into four sections and they focus a lot on what you consider your ideal situation. It does get a bit repetitive but I think it basically is looking to see if you're pretty consistent in your answering.
So after taking the test, it was concluded without a doubt that I'm an ISFP. Reading through the detailed analysis, I could see a lot of it in me. (Psycho-jumbo ahead warning...*LOL*. ) Adjectives to describe us: Gentle, Sensitive, and Compassionate. ISFPs are typically the most unassuming and down-to-earth of all types. Characteristically people of few words, they show deep loyalty and commitment to family and friends and second to the few select causes they hold dear. ISFP tend to take things more personally and only allow a few people inside their private thoughts and feelings. We tend to not impose our values on others and follow the path of least resistance, responding to change rather than resisting or controlling it. ISFPs often put other folks needs ahead of their own. Also they tend to not be assertive and as a result don't readily speak up in their defense. ISFP strive to maintain harmony and please others, which means they'll hold back their true feelings, even at their detriment.
I can see myself a lot in that description. Of course individual ISFP's have even more unique quirks within themselves that distingush them from other ISFPs and obviously the other 15 categories, but nonetheless the generalizations seem pretty accurate.
I even went so far as to purchase a couple books relating to the subject. It's mostly books on relating yourself to other folks that fall under other categories.
Eugene for example is an ENTP. He tends to be the life of the party and doesn't take things as personally as I do. He has the ability to see the big picture in things and thrive on negotiations and debating. ENTPs tend to be flexible and adaptable to any given situation and are able to turn on a dime if the situation calls for a different approach.
He actually helped me out in a recent Ebay situation I found myself in where the seller hadn't delivered my product. I tend to be nonconfrontational, taking the email approach, wherease Eugene is more direct and wanted to speak to the person personally. I got the seller's phone information and he basically called him on my behalf pretending to be me while I listened in. Eugene thrives on that kind of stuff while I avoid it. Afterwards I emailed the seller to confirm that he would send me a refund as promised. That seller didn't know what he had coming...:-)
Eugene gets into these deep philosophical debates that I find little interest in. I find myself quite exhausted when he discusses ad nauseum the injustices of the world & how the United States raped numerous third world countries of their resources to make bigger fortunes for themselves. This particular debate came about while I was in Boston visiting him (and has come up a couple times before then). We were walking around Copley Place and he was observing this 40-something white lady walking with lots of shopping bags and she was talking to a girlfriend with bags of her own about shopping somewhere else.
As we're walking through Copley Place and made our way to Public Gardens and Boston Commons, long passing the 40-something that triggered the discussion, he's getting more vocal. We're walking through crowds of people doing their thing and I'm thinking what are strangers that don't even know us thinking if they're listening in. Then I'm thinking how am I expected to solve the injustices.
While Eugene was feeling energized by the discussion (well more of a speech since I pretty much just said uh huh, yep, *LOL*), it was mentally exhausting me. It's not that I'm not smart..*LOL*. I was getting overwhelmed because I was taking his admonishment over what society has become personally. I was at a loss to think what I as an individual could do about it. Was I expected to live in a garbage dumpster and not strive to raise my lot in life? Apparently not since he mentioned a friend of his who he says "downplays" his privileges in an attempt to make himself feel better about the injustices his forefathers caused. But he says this friend could afford to go wherever he wants to on the drop of a hat and always has that privilege to fall back on.
He then mentions the struggles that blacks have to do to get a decent wage. Even those that rise up above the poverty have to struggle with paying off huge student loans whereas students of privilege don't have the burden of student loans and can enjoy life a lot sooner.
To me: It's almost like a damn if you do, damn if you don't situation. So because it's a struggle, I should just be content where I am and just don't try to make my situation better.
Eugene points out that everyone should have access to basic housing, health care, and job training. That of course I agree with. But then you can debate all day on what is considered basic.
He doesn't care much for my playing the stock market. He sees the market as part of a corrupt system that rewards companies that lay off employees and focuses on increasing their own profits and ultimately investors without considering those that get laid off. The system focuses on making the rich even richer. In a way, he's right. Obvious insiders are the ones that truly make the money in the stock game, whereas the smaller investors are privy to the whims of those who control the market. But whereas I see the market as a way for me to try and better my situation, he sees it as the cause of lots of existing corporate corruption.
So Hemingway before I get too mired in this, Myers-Briggs helped me understand our differences much better and we've come to appreciate what we bring into our friendship. I value Eugene's social skills and ability to negotiate whereas he values my spontaniety and understanding of individual needs.
Hemingway while it's not good to categorize folks as being a certain way, I do see the benefit of such categorizing in relations to dealing with other folks.
The title of my blog entry is based on chapter names in this book called Type Talk by Otto Kroeger and Janet Thuesen. It sums up in few words the behaviors of an ISFP.
The other chapters by personality:
ESTJ - Life's Administrators
ESTP - The Ultimate Realist
ESFJ - Host and Hostesses of the World
ESFP - You Only Go Around Once in Life
ENTJ - Life's Natural Leaders
ENTP - One Exciting Challenge After Another
ENFJ - Smooth-talking Persuader
ENFP - Giving Life an Extra Squeeze
ISTJ - Doing What Should Be Done
ISTP - Ready to Try Anything Once
ISFJ - A High Sense of Duty
INTJ - Everything Has Room For Improvement
INTP - A Love of Problem-solving
INFJ - An Inspiration to Others
INFP - Performing Noble Service to Aid Society
Hemingway I'm planning on hanging out with Sally today for my Labor Day holiday. We also hung out Saturday at the 17th Annual African Festival. We even bonded over being amored by this cute light-skinned tenderoni working the Washington Mutual bank booth. This happened around 8:30 PM as we were leaving the event and after seeing Kool Moe Dee perform. Incidentally if you (cute light-skinned tenderoni) are reading this blog and you swing my way, ummm, call me!
My lips are starting to crack. They look so diseased, especially the lower left and right parts. What do you guys think? Yep, those are my scary lips. It started doing it on Tuesday. The weather in Chicago was a lot cooler this week and I remember my lips having issues for months last winter. No amount of Vaseline or Chapstick seems to be helping them. It's annoying and pretty freaky.
Hemingway I just had an interesting conversation with Eugene. We were talking about our usual random topics. I was singing Destiny's Child's Soldier and he was of course debating the merits of that song and other hip hop songs out there.
We agreed that none of these songs were classics. I mean, will you be hearing Soldier ten to twenty years from now? Hell, even five years from now?
Classic songs like Ree Ree's Respect & Bee Gees Staying Alive are timeless songs that you can still hear today. Mariah Carey's earlier works....Vision of Love, Hero, and Loves Take Time are more timeless classics.
You're So Vain (Carly Simon)- Classic Enough Is Enough (Barbra Streissand/Donna Summer)- Classic Control (Janet Jackson) - Classic Take My Breath Away (Berlin) - Classic Take My Breath Away (Jessica Simpson) - NOT!!!!!