Stop. Rewind. Play.

Things have been going downhill for Rock and I during the last month. It seemed like both of us were going through the motions when calling each other. But my heart wasn't in any of the conversations. I aired my grievances with Rock in regards to us not spending time together but it didn't seem like Rock had any problems with it. I basically told Rock that I wasn't going to bug him anymore in regards to planning anything. He complained about how he has all these obligations to work and family and his challenges in juggling all that and a relationship.

Every time we called, it seemed we would get into an argument. It got to the point that I was dreading talking to him. Yet something seemed to compel us to continue going through those motions.

So three weeks ago when Rock and I finally made time to see each other (this after the debacle that was IML 2008), we called it quits. Okay. Here's the lowdown on my experience at IML 2008 since I didn't discuss it before. Basically Rock made a stink about me going to it and didn't want us to go together because he wanted time to hang out with his friends (Ned and Regine) there. I went anyway because first off, it's a public event and even if we weren't hanging together, why should I stay home? He wound up seeing me (I went alone) and we hung for a bit even after I told him that he didn't have to hang with me. Seeing him at the IML on the morning of May 25th at that time was the first time I had seen him since Iron Man. To say that morning was awkward was a bit of an understatement.

It was even more awkward when Regine seemed to be grilling me on why I was there. It didn't seem to her that IML would be my thing. My running theme of the evening was that I've attended IML once before and aside from my brief "after school special" moment, had a good time.

Things especially came to blows between Rock and I when he mentioned two weeks after that his plans to hang with Ned and Regine because of how things were ruined at IML. That set me off. I couldn't understand how my coming to a public event, which he had no right to forbid me from going to, would ruin his time between his friends. But he concluded that my reason for going was to check up on him and make sure he wasn't up to no good. IMO that was not true especially since I had expressed a desire to attend this year's event regardless. Needless to say that led me to the decision that I needed to end things with Rock.

Which was what we did that next day in my basement. They always say that it's best to break up with someone in person as opposed to by email or over the phone. I was debating on the best place to do it. I really wasn't keen on doing it in a public venue. Not that I was expecting fist fighting, hair pulling, clothes tugging, and stuff. That would just be gay (no offense...*LOL*). It's just that I wasn't sure how the conversation was going to go and our reactions. I really wasn't keen on crying in public. So that's why I figured it'd be better to do it at one of our places.

After I told Rock that we should break up, he agreed with me. We sat there for a few minutes just in a daze. I couldn't believe we finally went there after weeks of playing the 'Neither One Of Us' by Gladys Knights game. We ended it all just a little over the nineteen months mark.

I looked in Rock's eyes and I saw that he was starting to tear up. I reached for his hand and he then hugged me. He expressed sadness over what was happening and mentioned that Regine and Usha had also broken up the night before. That set off the tears that I held back. We both expressed sadness that we were each letting a 'good guy' go.

Minutes later we were suddenly making out. It was getting a bit surreal. Both of us were questioning what was happening. I knew one thing that couldn't happen, though. I didn't want us ending up having sex. We went from breaking up to taking a hiatus to getting back together again. It was all very confusing.

But in the end we agreed that we'd make (yet another) go at it. He told me if I wanted to date other folks that I was welcome to do so but that he wasn't planning to. He promised that he would make a better effort to try and spend time with me.

Over the last two weeks, that hadn't really happened. He had a few more family and work obligations that he needed to take care of. But our conversations became civil again. This past weekend I went up to see Rock at his place. The funny thing is I told him that i was planning to meet a guy at the Chicago Pride parade to hang out with. I didn't solidify those plans with the guy but Rock made sure to foil those plans by making plans for me to spend half the day with him today. We woke up in each other's arms (it was our first time since April when we went to St. Louis) that morning and then went to Bally's together to work out. Afterwards we went to a JcPenney's outlet to buy some clothes. On route to this outlet, we passed the "lovely cities" of Loves Park and MacHesney Park. Rock joked to me to never say that he didn't take me places. Later on we had a late breakfast/early lunch at Subway's before parting ways around 2:30PM. He made tentative plans for us to see each other again next weekend.

So yeah we're not giving up just yet. We'll see if we can get through these hurdles. Of course I'll keep everyone posted.

Moore Love

After a nearly seven year absence (at least solowise), Chanté Moore finally released a new CD entitled Love The Woman (came out the 17th). I had found out about the release a few months ago on her official website and definitely looked forward to her upcoming album. I decided to purchase the CD during my lunch hour today for $9.99. The last time I went out and bought a CD the day of its release was in September 2005 when Toni Braxton released Libra. Chanté, along with Toni and En Vogue, is among a select few artists that I go out and buy their CDs on release day.

I remember falling in love with Chanté's voice from the moment I first heard Love's Taken Over. At the time I would hear it playing on the radio and unfortunately it was never during a time when they'd announce who the artist was. So for over a month I was struggling to figure out who Chanté was. Fortunately one day I finally figured it out and immediately bought her CD at K-mart.

I swore back then (1992) that I would marry her one of these days. That was when I was trying to do the 'straight thing' during my college years and remember being pissed when Kadeem later scooped her up. A few years later I was pissed to hear that they split up, presumed due to his cheating.

So Hemingway how does Love The Woman stack up against her previous works? Well for one thing, Chanté doesn't seem bitter anymore. I suppose the love of a good man (I admit to questioning their relationship at first.) has been good for her. The one song where she laments over a cheating mate (Guess Who I Saw Today), she's more coy about telling her man he's caught, unlike Exposed single Bitter, where she jarringly repeats the N-word over and over. Guess Who I Saw Today is a clever jazzy talky tune reminiscent of Vanessa L. Williams jazzy tune titled What Will I Tell My Heart. Overall Chanté's voice sounds as lovely and strong as ever, even if a lot of the song choices aren't that memorable. But I've only listened to the whole album once and a couple of the songs a few times. I enjoy her sound overall and I would say that she strikes a happy medium between her first album Precious and her previous album Exposed. Fans of either album will find a few songs they will like. Her first few songs are catchy mid-tempo songs that slightly remind me of Exposed but is less for a lack of a better phrase 'her trying too hard to get street cred'. The first song Always Gonna Be Something starts off with a lovely piano solo before pulsating into a nice R&B jam along with synthesized claps. Her lyrics especially hit home for me in relation to Rock and I. "You had a hard day at work. She had a hard day too. And now you both have an attitude. But just remember that you both love each other very much. So go 'head and make up." And yep, it's always gonna be something.

Another song Special finds her uplifting sisters in general unlike her single from her album This Moment Is Mine titled Chante's Got A Man, which appeared to be poking fun at sisters who had no good men.

Chanté even manages in a bonus track (supposedly exclusively available at Circuit City) with the long title This Could Be The Start Of Something Big to incorporate some slight scat jazz that's quite catchy. She uses her infamous high pitched scream sparingly unlike Mariah, which makes the few times she uses it such a treat.

If you love Chanté overall, I would definitely recommend getting her CD. It's an overall good listen and it's nice hearing in Chanté's voice that she's truly happy again.

Hey, It's Me...Remember Me?

*LOL*...Eugene used to utter those words to me whenever I overextended myself to certain people. There were times when every time I see someone, I felt compelled to say hi, even if the other person could care less to be bothered. Hemingway...

Miss me? Anyone even notice I was gone. That's me....Mr. Cellophane. Mr. Cellophane. Shoulda been my name. Mr. Cellophane. Cause you can look right through me. Walk right by me...and never know I'm there. Hmm...I could so be The Mole. Like I think Clay Cauley is. He's so under the radar. I so could do that. I bet he's the Mole. Hopefully the fools at ABC won't yank it off the air before I find out if I'm right. Unfortunately the ratings haven't been all that great for the show. Though I'm not sure what idiot thought it was smart to put the show at 10PM EST on a Monday after the dreck that's currently called The Bachelor(ette).

I didn't think The Mole would ever see the light of day after the bastards at ABC canned it four years back. But thanks to the uncertain writer's strike and some behind the scenes magic, The Mole has managed to make its way back to TV. Needless to say I've been really happy to see it since I still think The Mole's the best reality TV show out there.

Rock has a thing for the new host Jon Kelley. He says that he's his "one allowance" if he had to step out of the relationship. Personally he doesn't do anything for me. Then again my current "one allowance" is Terry Crews, a guy on a totally different spectrum. I saw Crews on White Chicks this past weekend and damn was he exuding sexuality.

Speaking of relationships, Rock and I are having a bit of a rough spot. Same issues keep creeping back in. Control issues primarily. I don't feel like talking about it anymore. The relationship's limping along but I feel like we're both dancing around ultimately calling it quits. It's like that classic Gladys Knight song 'Neither One Of Us'. We'll see.

In happier news, Tasha mentioned that she's in the market for a new home. I was so happy when she told me the news. I know the biggest reason my parents have held on to the old house we grew up in was due to Tasha still living there. The neighborhood they are in is unfortunately on its last legs. Drug dealers are on the block selling their poison a few houses down and the police aren't doing a damn thing about it. I'd swear the police are in on it. It's a bit of a sham actually since it'll only be a matter of time before the 'white folks' start moving back into the city. But basically they want the remaining folks on the block to kill each other or move out. Besides being a homeowner will give Tasha a good taste of independence and responsibility that she needs. The market is definitely in her favor as there's a lot of homeowners desperate to unload their homes. So she could be closing on a house before the end of the month.

Speaking of which, I found myself visiting Detroit two weekends in a row. Originally I was planning to take week off from work but due to work being a mother (don't even want to talk about that...*LOL*), I was only able to take a couple days here and there. The first weekend I was in Detroit, I primarily came to watch Tasha take part in Race For The Cure. I didn't get to see her walk but I met her at the end of the route. She later treated me to dinner at Famous Dave's.

The following weekend I went to Detroit primarily for my parents. My sisters and I helped my folks celebrate their wedding anniversary. To find out what we did to celebrate, look for all the letters in my entry that are highlighted in red and put them together.

Hemingway till next time.