Monday, March 26, 2007

Winds Of Change A-Pushing

I recently blogged about Charles wanting to move in my basement for a couple of months. I mulled over the options that I ultimately came up with and went back and forth on saying no with an excuse or saying yes with full disclosure. I went back and forth in my mind the pros and cons of each choice and got caught in something we techies call "analysis paralysis". In other words, I was getting so caught up in thinking of all the possibilities that I wound up not making a choice. Enough time had passed that I figured Charles would move on and find another target.

But Charles was not to be denied. He called me last Friday as I was preparing for my weekend trip to Detroit. That trip in itself was emotionally draining at times. But I'll blog about that another time.

So he left me another message. By the tone of his message, he pretended as if he didn't leave the last one and basically was asking now if he could stay the months of April and May. To ensure that I got the message, he added the caveat of me telling Deidre that he was unable to attend the bowling event scheduled for this past weekend due to having to fly back home.

Charles was forcing my hand once again.

I was mulling over pros and cons of my two options again. Eugene and Rock were equally divided. Eugene I sensed wanted me to say yes with disclosure. I mentioned that Charles is originally from Trinidad & Tobago. Once I mentioned that, Eugene pointed out that foreign blacks were more likely to treat their friends as family and he felt Charles would offer me his place if I were ever in a jam. Eugene is biased a bit against American black men who he feels only are in pursuit of their own selfish gratification. It's a long story...:-)

Rock I sensed wanted to say no with an excuse. Rock questioned why Charles was sweating me. He even thought that Charles may be somewhat attracted to me. He added that whatever I decide, he'd stand by me. But whenever he says that, I can tell he wants me to lean towards his way.

So they weren't much help. Ultimately I was playing ping-pong with my choices. One minute I said no (I didn't wanna see Charles picking his nose while chatting with me and leaving the boogers on my walls.), the next minute I was saying yes (I could use the cash). Just when I was leaning towards yes (I'd only see him at most two or three hours a day), I chose no again (I value my privacy.)

I knew I couldn't avoid Charles much longer. So I called him this evening. By then I was leaning towards no. We did the whole small talk thing and eventually Charles got down to business. I started by saying that I had a lot of things going on in my life. Charles cut me off (probably cause he was sensing where I was going) by telling me that he understood and that to let him know by the end of the week.

He then was trying to bolster his case by saying that he would be out of my hair most weekends, which would give me time to do "my thing". Hmmm...*LOL*.

Towards the end of our conversation, he was pointing out how shocked he was to learn about Deidre's marriage. She had kept the marriage secret from a number of folks with everyone only finding out after the fact. He was saying that it was almost as good of a secret as his own marriage. Of course reading between the lines, I sensed he was saying I know you got a secret too E. But I could be reading too much into it. I doubt it, though.

So I mull again. I have until the end of the week to let him know something. If I decide on no again, I need to say it quickly and not beat around the bush. *LOL*.

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Friday, March 23, 2007

Courting Fate

Well I had my day in court. Aside from the annoying metal detector security guy (he's not even worth more than the brief mention), the overall outcome went better than expected. I was a few minutes late entering the court room, no thanks to the long ass metal detector line, in no part due to the incompetent security guy (emotional walls, E!!! emotional walls, E!!!...*LOL*). Of course, my cop was in the room. So there was no getting off. At least, nonsexually. Let me quit...*LOL*.

Hemingway I was a bit surprised when the cop sorta nodded at me as I parked myself in the back row. But I didn't get a chance to let that sink in before the clerk motioned me to identify myself. I walked up front towards the clerk and once my identity was confirmed, I parked myself in the front row. Moments later I saw a sign to the right of me saying only police and attorneys can sit up front. But nobody called me on it was all good.

So moments later, the judge entered the chambers and after swearing in, the festivities began. Things started off with a lengthy case relating to a car accident and identifying which party was at fault. While this case was going on, I noticed my cop passed a note to the bailiff to pass to the judge. Interesting I thought.

So Hemingway the moment of truth came and it was time for me to go up. I quickly verified my insurance information. With that out of the way, the judge then asked for my plea on the speeding ticket. I pleaded guilty, of course. I nervously awaited his asking me about the evading of the officer. But he didn't. Instead he simply fined me $75 for the ticket and then $55 for some bogus court fees. And as long as I don't get another speeding ticket in the next six months, it won't go on my record. The end.

I felt pretty good as I went out to pay the clerk. It took me a minute to register that my cop must've sent a note to the judge to drop the evading police ticket. I was feeling special about only paying $130 in total until I overheard a lot of folks paying $130. And there you go.

So I got my driver's license back just in time to get a rental for my weekend speed trip to Detroit. I went to the store earlier this evening to buy my folks some fruits and vegetables. I also bought some fava beans as I've read studies that fava beans may help patients with Parkinson's due to its levodopa contents. Anything that might help my Mom should be tried.

I'll need to be extra mindful not to get another speeding ticket this weekend. Wish me luck.

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Tuesday, March 20, 2007

All That's Needed

All I Need Is A Miracle - Mike & The Mechanics

I said go if you wanna go,
Stay if you wanna stay
I didnt care if you hung around me
I didnt care if you went away
And I know you were never right
Ill admit I was never wrong
I could never make up my mind
I made it up as I went along

And though I treated you like a child
Im gonna miss you for the rest of my life

All I need is a miracle, all I need is you
All I need is a miracle, all I need is you
All I need is a miracle, all I need is you

I never had any time
And I never had any call
But I went out of my way just to hurt you,
The one I shouldnt hurt at all
I thought I was being cool
Yeah, I thought I was being strong
But its always the same old story
You never know what youve got til its gone

If I ever catch up with you
Im gonna love you for the rest of your life

All I need is a miracle, all I need is you (all I need is a miracle)
All I need is a miracle, all I need is you (all I need is a miracle)
All I need is a miracle, all I need is you

And if I ever catch up with you
Im gonna love you for the rest of your life

That's used to be my song. I actually was elated with the outcome of a recent transgression in my life and that made me think of this song. But I'll get to that later.

In other news, I got a phone call early Sunday morning from my Mom. Like 6:30 AM early, which is actually 7:30 AM Detroit time, so it wasn't that early. But early enough for me since I was still knocked out to the world. I quickly woke up when she mentioned that my Dad was feeling under the weather. He suffered from a serious head cold, a slight fever, a scratchy throat, and had a recurrence of the itching fit that he had last October. When the itching happened, my Dad was taken to emergency and was given medication to stop the itching that he needed to take for the next thirty days. The medication pretty much did its job.

We spoke for about two minutes before she transferred me to my Dad. He sounded a bit weak but otherwise was doing better than before. He mentioned that he was in the process of getting ready to get his Sunday paper. It's a Sunday tradition in the family to get the Detroit Free Press. So I let him go and promised to check in later.

So I called this morning and my Mom mentioned that now she has the same symptoms as my Dad, minus the itching. She sounded so miserable too. I suggested lots of grapefruit (except to not take it with medication) and orange juice. Actually they have these new brand of smoothie juices called Naked that I just love. They're supposed to be packed with plenty of Vitamin C and other nutrients. They taste so good but they're so pricey. Jewel Osco sells them for like $3.99 a bottle.

I actually was contemplating visiting this weekend and maybe bringing some of the juices for them. The one caveat, I always get a cold everytime I stay there for a few days. I don't know what it is. My immune system must be pretty weak or something. So I would have to pack extra for myself.

I also have to pysche myself up for the 5 hour drive again. I so hate commuting.

My Mom once again was complaining about Tasha and how she always seems to have an attitude everytime she asks Tasha to do something for her. Whether it's taking out the trash or picking up a perscription, it's always seems to be treated like a burden.

I was a bit dismayed after I hung up. I was talking to Rock about the situation and one thing he pointed out was that maybe Tasha's feeling overburdened with the responsibility of taking care of Mom and Dad. I mean it's not like my parents are invalids or anything but obviously with age both have slowed down. Trina and I pretty much only come by on occasion to visit whereas Tasha's there everyday. In some ways, Tasha may feel resentment against Trina and I because of that. So his point was that perhaps I may have to visit a bit more often than the holidays to alleviate some of the stress from Tasha.

I admit that I do worry about my parents and wish I could do more for them. So if I can come by and help a little more often, that would be good. I know I get exhausted myself with the requests from my parents but I do my best to do them since I'm not always around.

Also I need to be better about keeping in touch with my family in general. Since I'm a bit of a ways from them and don't see them on a daily basis, the tendency for me is to be out of sight, out of mind. I will admit that I'm not as close to my family as I would like to be. It's just something that I have to continue working towards.

So moving on....what has got me so elated today? Remember back in November when I got that speeding ticket from officer cutie? Well today was the day I needed to drive to Portage, Indiana to plead my case. Apparently though I was under the wrong impression that I would plead my case today. The prosecutor instead announced that we would be speaking to a prosecutor and if we couldn't come to a resolution, that a new trial date would be set.

I was a bit livid thinking I would have to waste another day driving down to Indiana. But lady luck was on my side. Apparently they misplaced my ticket and I wound up being called last. The prosector mentioned there was an error in where my ticket was placed and the charges were dismissed.

Woo hoo! The only thing that would've topped it was if I got to see officer cutie again. Sigh. But hey I'll take dropped charges any day.

Besides I have another court date this Friday for another speeding ticket I incurred. This time it was in Illinois near my job so I don't have as much of a commute. It happened on January 11th as I was making my way to a meeting. I got caught in a speedtrap going 52 in a 35. Unfortunately for me I made matters worse when I attempted to evade the cop. It started out as me turning into the Dunkin Donuts parking lot to see whether he was really after me. But I kept going towards the other exit and before I could drive off, he violently blazed through and stopped me.

It was horrific and embarassing. To make matters worse, there was another cop car in the Dunkin Donuts that was backing up as I drove in. You know, cops love their donuts.

So not only did he write up a speeding ticket but he also wrote one up for my attempted evasion. To make matters worse I didn't have my current insurance information on me. So he wrote me another ticket for that. That made three separate tickets he wrote me. Plus with the way I was shaking, he asked me if I was hiding anything in the car. I guess he was looking to throw even more tickets at me. Luckily he took my no for an answer. Not that I had anything to hide. *LOL*.

My initial court date was February 16th. I procrastinated as usual in getting my insurance card so I only had a print out from State Farm's website with my insurance info. Unfortunately it wasn't enough to prove I had insurance so they rescheduled the court date for this Friday. Of course the officer was there. Actually he's kind of handsome too.

Who knows? Maybe I'll get another miracle.

Another miracle....this marks my 250th post!!!!!! Woo hoo!

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Friday, March 09, 2007

Winds Of Change A-Howling

Thursday morning was like any other typical morning. I was killing time online and chatting with Eugene before heading off to work. Hemingway before leaving for work, I decided to check my answering machine. I have this bad habit of letting messages pile up on the machine before checking it. I'm overdue for changing my lan number and actually my phone service. I'm currently debating between Comcast and Vonage. I'm leaning towards the latter since Comcast already gets all (okay..seemingly all) my money in cable and internet.

Hemingway I check my messages and between the mostly junk messages, I have two real messages. One of them is from my younger sister Trina. She was just calling to see how I was doing. That may mean that she's finally visited Mama and Papa and the former probably was inquiring about me. I have this bad habit of forgetting to check in periodically with my folks. You see, a lot of times I feel like we're just "polite strangers" and I occasionally need the break from all the bitching and moaning. I have enough on my plate to bitch and moan about...:-)

The other message was from Charles. He was basically calling to find out if he could shack with me from March to end of April. He sounded a bit serious when he was talking. I know that he's been staying in Chicago a lot more now. I'm assuming the company is requiring him to stay longer and not commute to his new home as much. You'll remember (or not..that's why I provide the links...*LOL*) that he stayed at my place for a little over a month during the summer of 2004. For the most part it was amicable, though there was that one issue when he discovered the link to a gay website I visited because I forgot to clear my cache. We never really talked about it since I brushed it aside. But it didn't really bother him because he asked in November 2005 if he could stay again. I made up an excuse why he couldn't stay that time.

This leads to my present predicament. I've been thinking about it all day and even mulled it over with my boys (that'd be Eugene and Rock). Hilariously enough, both asked me if I talked to the other about it and what they thought. They do that a lot with different things I talk about. Another thing they have in common...*LOL*.

I do need to return Charles's call. I'm assuming since March is already underway, he may have some alternative worked out. But nonetheless I don't want to seem like I'm avoiding him and me not getting the message till a week later (he doesn't know that) sends that message loud and clear to him.

The way I see it, there's three options I can go with.

  1. I can tell him no again. If I were to go with this option, I would have to come up with another excuse. I still remember how I mentioned my folks may drop by for a bit and how he still was trying to make it work. Yeah he's a riot. Saying no, though, would make me feel like an asshole. We work in different offices but there are occasions when we see each other. One such occasion is coming up later this month. It would potentially be quite awkward. It has been over a year since he last asked me. I know if he's doing the hotel thing that this option can get expensive over time. The reason he's sticking it out with the company is because he's close to early retirement age and he would have his health care covered for life once he hits it, which would be in another four years. Plus he's offered to pay me again and I know he'd be good for it.
  2. I could tell him yes and pretend to live the hetero life. You see what good that got me last time. Plus now I'm in a relationship and that would totally be unfair to Rock. It'd be one thing if he was asking to stay a week but beyond a week, things could get hairy. There's no way I could keep the facade that long.
  3. I could tell him yes but give him full disclosure. This would mean telling him the basics about me. I mean, he doesn't need to know my entire sexual history....*LOL*. It would give him the option to decide whether he could deal with it. Obviously though, he must not have an issue since he's asked me before and he's made it clear that he'd like to go into some financial ventures with me in the future.
Of course thinking about my situation with Charles makes me think about being honest with my family. Over the holidays, my Mom made a comment that I never invite them over to my place. She even wondered if someone else was living there. I think the fact that she said "someone" means that she's still on some level trying to confirm her suspicions about me. I think for my own peace of mind that I need to let the cat out of the bag.

I did say 2007 was gonna be the year. Guess I wasn't that far off.

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Saturday, March 03, 2007

Something In Common

Something In Common - Bobby Brown & Whitney Houston

Verse 1(Bob-bay):
I know I may have made mistakes before
But now I understand what those mistakes were for

Throughout my travels girl I realized

What you see, what you get don't always coincide

A bird in the hand beats two in a bush

But just one look was all it took

Could it be that we're the only ones thinking of

Harmony, ecstacy, there's something about this love


We, we have something in common
Girl (Boy) you mean so much to me it should be plain to see that we...

We have something in common

It's the way we feel about each other when we're together

Verse 2(Witty):
Now I'm the type of girl who understands my man
I'll be strong when he's weak, I will hold his hand

Now I believe old fashioned rules and old fashioned ways

Courtesy, honesty, like in the old days
You're my man and I'm your girl

There's nothing better in this whole wide world

I'll stand by your side till the very end

All in all, best of love, we are friends

Repeat Chorus

Ad-libbing till the end

Aside from the insanity of the folks singing it, Something In Common is a very nice song. At the time when it was released it was in response to their many critics who didn't see their marriage lasting past a year. To everyone's surprise, they made it for fourteen years before finally calling it quits. Okar Star Jones, you have to make it to fifteen years to last longer.

So Rock and I have been doing the getting to know each other thing for almost four months now. We've had our ups and downs (what relationship doesn't, right?) and we've been able to learn more than a few things about each other. For example, we both prefer sitting in the back of the theatre. While at the theatre, both of us focus on the movie and not each other. We've both been at our current jobs for a long period of time. He's going on 16 years while I soon celebrate my 10th.

One interesting observation, though. As I've gotten to know Rock, it's eerie how much he has in common with my ace boon coon Eugene.

Here's just a sampling of what they have in common:

  1. They both cite their favorite rib place as Tony Roma's. (Eugene swore to it when I went to Florida almost two years ago and was telling me to look it up. I could never find it. Rock mentioned how he makes occasional trips to the place because they make the best ribs.)
  2. They both enjoy debating. (I experienced it first hand when they first met each other.)
  3. They both cite their favorite Chinese food dish as chicken and brocolli.
  4. They both tend to be confrontational when provoked.
  5. They've both made me cry. (Rock you know how. Eugene did it to me when he told me how disappointed he was when I didn't believe an incident that happened while he was in Hawaii with someone he does consider to be like his brother.)
  6. They both list The Golden Girls as their favorite tv show.
  7. They're both coffee addicts. (Then again a lot of people are.)
Those are just a few of the things I can think of right now. It really is uncanny at times. I'll talk to one and then I'll say that's exactly how the other one thinks. Maybe it bodes well for Rock and I. Despite some turbulence, Eugene and I have been friends for over two years now. Maybe Rock and I will forge a similiar path. Hell. The fact that we've made it almost four months makes him my longest dating relationship. I'll keep you posted, of course.

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