Wednesday, November 29, 2006

F Is For Fickle

Heh I bet you guys thought I was talking about Myers-Briggs again when seeing that F...*LOL*.

I hate generalizing folks more than anyone else. However gay men are the most fickle species I know. It's just uncanny how one day things seem to be okay and the next for reasons unknown, things change. It's probably why I don't have many gay friends. Then again it's not like I have many friends to begin with. But I digress. (Often.)

The gay man in particular that's earned my disdain is Spades. I noticed that ever since my Dancing Queen night that Spades seems to be avoiding me. Actually I pretty much confirmed that he's not speaking to me anymore. So apparently I earned his disdain. Why? I have a theory but no definite clue. At this point, your guess is as good as mine.

Let's go back to the scene of the crime. It was pre-Dancing Queen night. I attempted to contact Spades twice to confirm that we were meeting at Generator. He didn't answer his phone. I told him that I was burned once by someone who said to meet there but didn't. That would be Huey unfortunately. And we're not speaking anymore either...*LOL*. But that's more or less because I'm tired of being the bigger person and trying to reestablish a connection and also Huey was pissy because I got pissy. When hello...he was the one that stood me up, how did he expect me to react? Plus his excuse about leaving his phone behind was lame (it may have been true but lame...and he waited till the next afternoon to call). But that's another stupid tale. Back to the current one.

So since Spades knew about the Huey incident and I sorta knew how a stickler for time he could be, I took the chance that he would still meet me at the club but just couldn't call back. So I got to Generator extra early and waited for Spades arrival. He eventually came with a nice, nerdy friend of his I'll call Nerdy. I walked up to the pair and greeted Spades. Spades immediately went to greet two guys (who didn't know each other prior but were sitting not far from each other). While Spades was greeting them, I officially introduced myself to Nerdy. We made random small talk while noting Spades seemingly knowing half of the club. Spades eventually introduced us to SpadesAce and some other dude.

So nothing really significant (to my knowledge) happened. Spades went off with Nerdy and SpadesAce in search of other folks that were supposed to be coming. I sorta stood off to the side along with the other dude who went back to doing whatever it was that he was doing. A few minutes later as Spades, Nerdy, and SpadesAce made their way back, I walked up towards them.

We eventually got a booth on the lower level where we all sat for a few minutes. I couldn't help but notice how Spades was macking with SpadesAce. Nerdy and I made a little bit of small talk again and eventually Spades was chatting on and off with Nerdy. Nerdy and Spades went off to see what was happening upstairs, leaving SpadesAce and myself. The two of us didn't talk about much until Nerdy and Spades came back down and Nerdy was ushering us to the dance floor.

That led to the two hour dancing queen moment you're all familiar with. So far to my knowledge I can't think of anything I've done that would've offended him or his friend. I wasn't sure whether SpadesAce was just a trick or not. I made the assumption that he was, especially since at the end of the night he left with SpadesAce even though he drove with Nerdy. And I didn't get the sense that Nerdy and SpadesAce knew each other prior to that night.

So the next night I see Spades on Yahoo IM. I remember us chatting normally enough. I then asked him how things went with SpadesAce that night. He didn't respond to that and didn't say anything else afterwards. I didn't think anything of it as I quickly got busy doing other stuff.

The first time I thought something might've been up was later that week. I saw him online and greeted him. He didn't respond.

I told Eugene about it and he thought I was being too much of a Bug-a-Friend. It's similiar to Destiny's Child's Bug-A-Boo. He says that I smother people to death and that I don't need to say ''s me!!!!' everytime I see them online. So I decided to leave Spades alone for a week or so. Whenever I saw him online, I ignored him and didn't say anything. Finally I decided to send him a message a couple days before Thanksgiving. In fact, it was on Thanksgiving Eve's Eve...*LOL*. Again he didn't respond. I found it odd but went about doing my thing. Finally two hours later I typed...'So are you not talking to me anymore?'. Literally two seconds after I sent that message, he logged off.

I decided to call him. I got his voicemail and basically said that I had a feeling he was avoiding talking to me for some reason and that I'm not a mind reader so he needs to let me know what's up. I haven't heard from him since.

Isn't that weird?

The only thing I could think of was maybe he was offended when I asked him about SpadesAce. Maybe I even misread their relationship by assuming SpadesAce was a fling. But if that was the case why go on an all out speaking strike? All he had to do was say that I presumed wrong.

Last night Eugene convinced me to try to reach out to Spades one last time. He told me to send in an email a simple question. 'Are we not friends anymore?'

As of 7:49 PM, Wednesday November 29th, the answer appears to be no.

It's a shame that a potential friendship is ending due to some petty bullshit that I'm totally speculating on since I have no idea what's up. I really thought we would be cool. It's disappointing to say the least. Oh well...he's not the first and he won't be the last.


Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Aloha Detroit

Today's entry is jam packed with information. I jump from topic to topic quite randomly too so apologies in advance. I'm off from work today due to some plumbing work needed on my toilet. It started out as an innocent fill valve that needed to be replaced that turned into a slightly more complicated job where everything but the tank itself was changed. But it's finally fixed, which is a relief.

Moving on...

I wanna go to Hawaii! Eugene's back from his vacation/reunion with an old college friend. He's been ranting and raving about his time there. The hiking, the sports outing, the dinners, the visit to the former BayWatch set, the luau parties. Sigh. It sounds like so much fun. He also talked about the Samoan men, who are oh so hot! I got a taste of some of the men watching last Sunday's Extreme Home show on ABC where they were helping this large Samoan family that recently lost their father. The oldest damn! He was smoking hot!!! All I could think of was how many women (and men...if he swings that way) were going to be hitting him up after the show.

Oh yeah....I did have a brief encounter with a Samoan-like man on my return trip back from L.A. earlier this year. You know, the guy that offered me his nuts.

I totally want to go to Hawaii next year. In fact I think I want it to be my next trip. I need to start saving.

So does anyone have the hook-up as far as timeshares or places to stay that won't break the bank?'s rhetorical but I'll take donations.

My Thanksgiving holiday was okay. As usual I wound up helping my parents out during my trek. I took my Mom on some shopping errands and helped hook up a new computer for my Dad. The latter proved to be frustrating since we couldn't get the sound working. I felt bad too because I was feeling frustrated over not being able to figure it out and my Dad thought I was frustrated because he was asking me for help. What was frustrating too was that his last CPU (which is actually his second PC) lost the sound and was only operating on Safe Mode. I even cleaned out the hard drive using the recovery CD he had and it still would only work in Safe Mode.

So it was strange that the new CPU (which actually was on clearance at Micro Center) also was acting up on sound. So it got me frustrated mainly because I wanted to have the answer to why it was acting up but couldn't figure it out. In the end just before I made my trek back to Chicago, we drove back to Micro Center and exchanged CPUs with a newer one. That did the trick. I was so relieved.

My Dad has so mellowed out. Years ago he would've smacked me upside the head for my frustration. It's also cool seeing how patient and sweet he is to my Mom. They truly care and love each other in sickness and health. His arthritis is creeping up on him, which slows him down some. He's contemplating leaving the job he semi-retired from years ago completely. But he has so many financial concerns. I try to help when I can but wish I could do more, including moving them away from our ghetto neighborhood.

My Mom is such a J. Actually I think she's an ISFJ. She's on her own schedule and likes things to be done right away. It's a constant source of conflict that my older sister Tasha and her have. My Mom's from the school that if you see something that needs to be done, you do it right away. But Tasha is more from the school that it'll get done when it gets done. Tasha is extremely sensitive too and can get riled up over the smallest things (though I can be guilty of this too at times as my F is strong). Needless to say there's a lot of conflict going on.

Part of the conflict too is that I know Tasha on some level is frustrated that she's still living at home. Years ago she fell into the credit card trap and was forced to file bankruptcy. A lot of the debt was forgiven but she still has to pay some of it off. So she's been struggling with that.
Though how much she's struggling with that is unknown (even to me).

That unknown is what frustrates my parents. They're wondering when she's going to get things together. She's basically living rent free and only pays for phone, electric, and gas. I believe the water bill is combined together and my Dad pays for it.

Tasha has mentioned to me recently that she's started saving money in a interest bearing account and hopes to increase what she's saving once she's done paying off one of her bills. She's hoping that within two years that she'll be able to move into her own place. But I don't know if she's told my parents that so I kinda hinted about it, which eased their minds a little bit. But I know the conflict will continue.

Bringing things back to is my blog, right...*LOL*...Hemingway! I almost came out to my parents this weekend. Before going to Detroit, I chatted with Sally, who makes it her mission everytime we talk to ask if I told my parents yet. But it wasn't because of Sally. Just like with Sally, I've been feeling like I want to get it off my chest. I even went to the cemetery visiting a former colleague/friend that passed six years ago (I'll have to blog about her sometime...but both Sally and I knew her from our previous job) to do some soul searching. I wound up calling FordRock (and I'm totally gonna have to come up with another alias for him...but let's see if he's still here in the 07...*LOL*) while in the cemetery and we had a nice conversation about it. He made the point that the timing for my reveal probably wouldn't be ideal considering it's the holiday season and the association of it being that holiday when I came out. And yeah, yeah, yeah, arguments could be made that there never is a good time. But I think he actually had a point so I put it off for now.

My rational for telling is that I'm tired of always being on edge wondering when I'll get asked about my dating life. Also the fact that my Mom asked me earlier this year about my sexuality makes me think that I need to confirm it. I think the short-term risk is worth the peace of mind I gain from just putting it out there. It'll probably be in 2007 sometime when it happens. I'll keep you posted.

Moving on...the family also decided to do Secret Santa this year despite last year's fiasco...*LOL*. Like last year, though, my Mom and Dad already discussed who they had. This year I picked from the hat my Mom. She's tough to shop for because she's very conservative, plus I don't know the first thing about women's fashions (despite being gay...*LOL*). But I definitely want to get her an actual gift and not a gift card like I've been doing before. I'll think of something.

I topped my return trip yesterday with picking up a speeding ticket from officer cutie (who I actually found was featured in an article cracking down on speeding motorists) that I'm totally contesting. And no it's not so I'll see officer cutie again, though that'll be gravy. I feel like I was entraped (and yes that's the wrong terminology). Coming into Indiana from Michigan, the speed limit is initially 70 mph. As officer cutie entered I-94 (from Exit 26 I believe), he was trying to get over in front of me in the middle lane but I was maintaining a constant speed so he wasn't quite able to. I finally slowed down a bit so he could get over. So everybody around me suddenly slows down as he makes his way to the left lane, which was amusing. I myself was a bit guarded but at the time the speed was 65-70 mph so I was focusing on maintaining that speed. I wound up passing officer cutie since he slowed down to 55. I was constantly looking at my rear view mirror at his car while trying to maintain 65-70. So this goes on for a couple miles and all of a sudden he gets over and turns on his sirens to pull me over.

I was livid. About 1/4 mile ahead of where I was pulled off, there was a speed limit sign that said 55 mph. Officer cutie pulled me over because I was going 70 mph. He seemed to have an attitude with me saying that I should've been driving slower knowing that he was nearby. I then went off saying that I was going the speed limit, which was 70 mph. I told him that I didn't see a sign saying it changed to 55 (with the exception of the one that was 1/4 mile ahead) and he said that it changed 1 or 2 miles back. I think that's a bold face lie, though, because if that's the case, why didn't he pull me over a mile or two back. So Hemingway he wrote me a ticket. I have to call some number to get the fine and court date if I want to contest (which I plan to). That means I'll have to take time off from work. Maybe I'll make a day of it since I always wanted to go to Michigan City, IN, which is near the speed trap Portage, IN where I got pulled over. I'll probably have to spend the night before at a hotel since I can't see myself trying to fight traffic (and possibly getting another speeding ticket...*LOL*) driving an hour and fifteen minutes to Portage.

At this point I am aware that I may have to pay more if I'm found guilty but at this point it's principal for me. Plus maybe I'll get to see officer cutie again...*LOL* Whatever.

Assuming I'm forced to pay the ticket, this will be my first one in nearly three years. My last one was given guessed it...Portage, IN.

I hope you guys had a good holiday.

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Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Thanksgiving Eve's Eve

I can't believe Thanksgiving is almost here. I wouldn't know it on the job. Normally around the holiday, things slow down a little bit workwise. But not this year. It seems like all kinds of projects are happening at once with no reprieve in sight. I've also had to attend more and more meetings and have been forced to delegate work to our offshore resources (which in itself takes time to explain).

We lost a team member who left to join a business group within the company. Fortunately this person didn't do anything that was much of an impact to what I do. However there is a definite squeeze as more and more projects are coming on and time is becoming scarce.

SLAB, along with another senior member and myself, spent some time two weeks back interviewing prospective replacements for the departed team member. We all seemed to agree that one guy stood out among the rest. He seemed technically competent plus he seemed like a go-to type of person. He impressed the second round of interviewers as well and an offer was extended to him, which he accepted. But he won't start until December 11th.

I wanted to take tomorrow off but with all the work going on (and since I'm not planning on making the trek until the 23rd), I decided to go in.

Meanwhile on the man front, FordRock continues to amaze me. I don't think I've ever had a guy throw me so many compliments or keep in contact with me with the frequency he's done. It's especially amazing considering our encounters. Usually guys run away afterwards.

Last night he installed his first webcam and insisted on me being his first cam. (It was a clean cam...*LOL*.) He seemed so genuinely happy to see me, even though I was suffering from a cold at the time and was sneezing and blowing my nose on the cam. As I looked at him further, I couldn't help but notice he had a slight resemblance to blogger ShawnQt. He was just grinning from ear to ear, which made me grin.

He called me about an hour ago asking me if I had a carbon monoxide detector in the house. I told him I didn't and he mentioned some ordinance was being passed in Chicago for all homes to have one before the new year or face higher insurance costs. He happened to be in the store picking one up for his grandmother and decided to pick one up for me too. I agreed to treat him to dinner when he comes over tomorrow night.

The attention he's giving me is cool but scary. I'm so used to jerks that it's a bit surreal to actually have a nice guy that likes me and seems to want to treat me right. Okay fine, I had at least two other guys (Aviation and Matt) that were nice and liked me as well. But FordRock is the first nice guy that I am mutually attracted to.

In my Find Me A Man entry, I listed the following criteria for what I'd like in a man:

1) He must be gainfully employed.
2) He should have his own apartment, condo, townhouse, whatever.
3) He must be between 5 foot 8 and 6 foot 4, weighing between 180-220 pounds.
4) He should be somewhere between 29 and 45.
5) He needs to have some common sense.
6) He should be considerate of other folks feelings.
7) His face should be pleasing to my eyes.
8) He must be a great kisser.
9) He needs to prove that he's into me without losing himself.
10) He should bring out the good qualities I have and strengthen the ones I lack.

Fordrock meets all of the criteria except number 3. He is 6 feet and told me he weighs 230 pounds. But since he meets everything else, I can live with it. Besides he is working on it.

He told me the other day that he wants to date me. Really date me and get to know me. On that front, we agreed to try and control our urges to fool around and focus on learning about each other.

The funny thing is that I think he was a bit jealous when I went to see Eugene last weekend. He asked me how Eugene and I met and I told him that we met on that site. I also told him that I was attracted to Eugene but Eugene didn't feel the same way about me. I've accepted that Eugene and I will never be (unless I gain 20-30 pounds of muscle overnight...*LOL*) and value the friendship that we've built over the year and a half. Besides upon getting to know Eugene, I concluded that we wouldn't be compatible anyway. The irony is if it weren't for the fact that we're both gay, we probably wouldn't even be friends. So I would never give FordRock any reason to worry in that regards.

Hemingway I'm about to get my ass ready for my make-up workout session. The annoying thing is that I was gonna work out tomorrow morning as well but unfortunately my weekly Friday meetings were moved back to Wednesdays starting tomorrow. Then I have a couple other meetings after that. And to think I was gonna take tomorrow off.

This will probably be my last post before taking off for Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!


Sunday, November 19, 2006

All's Right With The World

All's Right With The World - Jem and the Holograms

All's right with the world
(All's right with the world)
Everything is in sync

Everything is all right
Friends are friends again
(Friends are friends again)

Everyone is in the pink

Everything is all right

Verse 1:
I feel great again
Feel first rate again

I'm with the people I love

Moonbeams are dancin' above

Repeat Refrain

Verse 2:
Things are hummin' now
Things are drummin' now

Harmony is restored
We're singin', wingin', come on board


Repeat Refrain (Ad nauseum)

I can't believe I'm quoting a Jem and the Holograms song. Who am I kidding? I was a closet Jem and the Holograms fan in the 80s. I remember hiding in my room to watch the show. I knew it was a girly girl show but I couldn't help but be caught up in the show. The songs (cheesy as they are) were off the hook.

I loved the girls from Jem and the Holograms but I have to admit favoring their nemesis group The Misfits. Something about their personalities won me over and I loved Pizzazz whenever she would screech like a harpy.

The plots were, to quote their theme song, 'truely, truely, truely outrageous'. Who couldn't tell that Jem and Jerrica weren't the same person? They were never in the same room. And there were many a scene where Jerrica would be walking out the room and then moments later in comes Jem. Though it was hilarious when there was that one episode where someone (I believe the evil Eric Raymond) questioned that and Jem/Jerrica had a separate hologram of Jerrica enter the room. Someone tried to throw her a script and when trying to catch it, it went through her (cause she was a hologram). And please, everyone knew that Rio was gay. Cute show though. I hear it's on DVD now (though it's a bit pricey).

Hemingway I thought the theme was appropriate considering my recent visit with Eugene. Unbeknownest to most of the blogging world, I had a bowling feud with Eugene for the last couple months. Unfortunately over the summer I bowled my absolute worst games (I'm talking 80s and low 100s yall...*LOL*) when playing against him. Eugene hadn't bowled a lick in years and managed to beat me on two separate bowling occasions for five games.

I think it was part psychological (I hated the alley in Boston we bowled at and didn't care for the folks that were bowling next to us) , part bad equipment (house stuff when I was in Boston), and part bad lane reading. Eugene to his credit, while not having the best form, was pretty consistent in his bowling shots.

Of course being the more experienced bowler, it was a coup d'etat for him to win against me. I didn't hear the end of it for months. When I explained the circumstances of why I wasn't bowling my best, he saw it as excuses (some of it was, of course). Also when I told him he was able to luck out on my weaknesses, he would say 'for five games'. Yeah he beat me five games, yall.

I remember after the beatings feeling pissed and humiliated. Of course Eugene's gloating over the wins didn't help matters. I got over it eventually but whenever he bought it up, I would get defensive again.

I knew what I had to do this weekend when I came to Boston. Losing was not an option. I even decided to bring one of my bowling bowls and shoes with me. As Eugene pointed out, it didn't help me last time (when we played in my home turf), but I knew it would be better than house equipment.

So we went to a different alley that was near where he lived (he's actually residing on the outskirts of Lowell, MA). And the rest as you say was bowling history. I kicked booty. 181 - 150 - 160.

As for the weekend visit itself, Eugene and I didn't do too much. He needed to get ready for his upcoming week long Hawaii (he should be there by now) trip. We went to a restaurant called 99 that his new male friend (he's straight and married) recommended the night I arrived.

Later after heading back to his place, I met Eugene's pet spider that he kept in a water bottle. I contacted FordRock and we chatted for about ten minutes. I realized during the course of our conversation that I forgot my cell phone charger so FordRock told me to conserve my phone energy and to just call him tomorrow.

Friday morning Eugene and I got a bit of a late start. I wanted to go work out and since I knew Eugene's plan for the gym includes Fridays, I insisted we go. Plus I wanted to check out his gym and all the hot men there. His new male friend works out there and since he didn't tell this friend about me, we decided to go in separately.

As I was working out and seeing all the hot men, I thought about FordRock. He mentioned that he had his own home gym. I was imagining myself one day working out there. So I texted him a brief message.

We chatted about thirty minutes later just on general stuff while Eugene went off on a hair appointment. He was happy I was having a good time and told me to call later.

Eugene and I later went and had an uneventful dinner at Olive Garden. Then after a pit stop back at Eugene central, we went to a Brunswick in Lowell where I proceeded to kick Eugene's ass.

I called FordRock while we were driving back from the alley and he was happy about the victory since I informed him of my bowling history. He endeared me a bit when he said he would've said 'you'll get him next time' had I actually lost. He said that he missed me (at least missed being able to talk longer) and was glad that I was having a good time.

Saturday morning Eugene had an appointment to visit a senior professor to help with some coding and for a quick lunch. Eugene's at the point in his career where he needs to make inroads (kiss butt...*LOL*) in order to make tenure one day.

He also decided to rent a car one-way to the airport and found a rate for $24.99. So before going for his appointment, we drove to Budget where we eventually got a Malibu. He went to his appointment, I went to Bally's to oogle men. I mean, work out...*LOL*.

I overdid it too because my thighs were aching pretty bad during a Saturday afternoon of mundane errand hopping with Eugene. He wanted to get some t-shirts, clean underwear, shampoo, lotion, and a water gun (so he could play a practical joke on his old college friend that's also going to Hawaii). It was mundane but it was cool seeing Eugene flustered for once. It was ironic seeing him shopping at Sears considering he thought a lot of my clothes were bought from the clearance racks of Sears.

Afterwards we went to this really great Indian restaurant in Lowell that Eugene's ranted and raved about. The food was excellent. They had the freshest samosas I've tasted in a while.

We got into this discussion about how the city of Lowell is good at preserving its historical value and how small restaurant businesses (unlike the Olive Gardens, Mickey D's, etc.) have to keep their food fresh in order to keep customers since they don't have the big budgets of the bigger corporate chains to promote their restaurants. I later on chatted for a few minutes with FordRock while Eugene was chatting with his college buddies about the weekend Purdue games and odds of certain teams going to different bowls. Football is so much fun...yeah.

The next morning I drove us to the airport, dropped Eugene off at his terminal, and then I returned the rental. All in all it was a really nice weekend.

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Thursday, November 16, 2006

Brand New Man

I haven't really talked about men in a while. Mostly because it's the same old story.

Everytime I've mentioned on my blog about meeting a new man, things have pretty much gone south. I've been looking through my entries to see when I last mentioned a date. There was that first entry about Spades where we sorta did date things but we wound up having the friendship vibe. Going deeper I discovered that the last time I mentioned dating was with the guy I nicknamed Aviation. Unfortunately I wasn't as attracted to him as I thought I was. Things went south when during our second date he cut some bread, buttered it up, and then put it on my plate. Talk about emasculation and he wasn't even that masculine to me to begin with.

I did get a bit emasculated on a date I had two Saturdays ago with Baritone. Baritone (like a lot of other losers I've dated) started out real promising. We had some decent chatter initially on the phone where I learned that he lived in Seattle for over 13 years and currently works in the hotel industry as some manager.

As I mentioned, we had a date two Saturdays ago. We agreed to meet downtown to see Saw III. (Total sidebar - go see it!!! It was off the chain.) Okay back to Baritone. So I was standing on the corner of Structure & Virgin Records on Michigan Avenue waiting for him. About fifteen minutes later, I saw a handsome bald headed guy in a nice trench coat and scarf walk up towards me with a smile. He looked way better than his pictures, which usually isn't the case.

So fast forwarding a bit (since he's history), we saw the movie. We then headed to Gino's East for pizza where things almost derailed when he pulled the cellphone thing. But he apologized for it after I complained. He emasculated me by pretty much doing all the food ordering (deep dish meat lover's pizza, extra cheese) and later on when heading outside, fixing up my collar on my coat. But unlike when Aviation did it, I actually didn't mind. We then walked into this gay bar Gentry's after derailing briefly to Hotel Incontiental. The evening was capped there listening to this lounge singer and later on making out in the basement.

Things then continued to go well when Baritone actually called me when I got home (1:35 AM) and proceeded to chat with me for thirty minutes more. I told Eugene about the date and he was impressed with Baritone not raising any of Eugene's imaginary antennas.

But alas things went downhill after that. Baritone became incognito for several days. He returned my phone call the following Wednesday with some excuse about visiting his mother for a couple days. But the call was really brief because he claimed to be meeting a friend somewhere. But he was sure to invite me over to his place on Saturday (all the way on the Southside).

I knew that if I went over to his place, it would most likely lead to sex. Then just like my brief torrid session with Mr. Lemonade, once he was done having his way with me, he'd make some excuse about having to work in the morning and then make phone calls planning his next day. In fact when making the plans for my visit, he already was throwing the going to work Sunday morning excuse.

So that Saturday I saw Baritone on that, umm, site and emailed a greeting. He read my message and didn't bother to reply. I told Eugene about it and Eugene sent him an email, pretending to be interested. Baritone immediately responded and even suggested they hook up the same evening I was supposed to meet him.

Another. Trifling. Ass. Dog. I didn't want Baritone to know what I did. So I sent him an email explaining that I didn't want to meet him because the possibility existed that we would have sex and that I was hoping for more. I left the door open if he was interested in more public activities to give me a call. Very late in the evening he replies that he didn't get where I was going with the letter.

I wound up calling his ass the next day to explain it and he immediately blurts out that he wasn't trying to have sex with me. Yeah pull it out the other ear I thought to myself. So after that phone call, I knew I wouldn't hear from his trifling ass again.

So fast forward to this guy Fordrock. I actually saw him post a message on a Yahoo message board that I frequent that discusses the fine art of frottage. Remember my curiosity about this form of sex? He was in the Chicago area and was curious to meet other like-minded guys.

I emailed Fordrock and later IM'ed him and we pretty much hit it off chatting. We exchanged phone numbers and talked in real time. I found out that he lives in the Rockford area and commutes to Chicago every so often to visit family. We agreed to meet each other this past Sunday.

But plans were slightly altered when he decided to impromptly visit me Saturday morning on his way to the Southside. (Yeah No_The_Game, that's the reason I was late to meet you...sorry...*LOL*) To say we hit it off was an understatement. He was just the type of guy I liked...a little stocky, taller, and very handsome face. We decided not to exchange pictures prior to meeting. So he came over, we chatted, and then proceeded to make out for about thirty minutes. Crazy. Slutty. Cool.

We couldn't wait to hang out Sunday. Sunday came, we went to I-Hop, and then came back to my place for more of the same stuff as Saturday. But what was different was that he was really interested in getting to know me. And we did chat a lot as well.

He mentioned that he used to be 270 lbs and lost forty pounds. His goal is to get between 170-180 (his weight years younger). He also talked about his accounting job and family and friends.

In fact we've been still chatting since our meeting, which is a good sign (considering we may have gone too far Sunday). We occasionally text a brief message in the morning and then in the evenings, we talk about our days. We would hang out this weekend but I'm actually going out of town to Boston tomorrow evening while he'll likely be driving to St. Louis. But we did promise to keep in touch.

I hate being premature but I think he could be a keeper. I guess you'll know if I talk about him again on my blog (in a positive light).


Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Missing The Horse

I'm being unrealistic and unreasonable and nonsensical in this entry. But whatever. I'm having a moment. I'll probably look back on this post one day and cringe. But Hemingway.

There are times I wish I were more popular and athletic growing up. Why was I an unpopular geek? I think I missed out on many opportunities for horseplay.

I try not to be envious but I can't help but feel that way as Eugene tells his tales of encounters he's had with guys (many of them his buddies) over the years. Of course many of these guys are strong and athletic and have great bodies. He's told tales where he's jumped on the back of these guys, guys bending bars in front of him, guys flexing their biceps in front of him, guys horseplaying with him. Plus as a professor at a local college he runs into hot guys practically every day and even mentions being pursued by some of them. It's a wonder he still hasn't had his cherry popped.

Eugene was telling me one of those stories tonight. He concluded that the guy in this latest tale wanted him to suck his dick. But of course Eugene would have none of that. I got disgusted and hung up on him.

I guess I was jealous. Again.

To compensate for not being athletic at all, I try to work out in the gym to find my inner athlete. I feel so far behind in the grand scheme of things. I've worked out on and off over the years but I don't feel like I'm that strong. It makes me wonder why I'm even killing myself going to the gym. I want to have strong guys horse around with me for a change. But in the industry and job I'm in, hot guys are few and far between.

I've always been cute or handsome (well later in life...*LOL*) but hardly anybody would ever say I was hot or sexy. Okay that may be an overstatement. I'm sure somebody (who I find hot) thinks I'm hot and sexy too.

But I know I need to stop my pity party. Things aren't actually that bad for me. In fact, things may actually be looking up for me. I just have to be a little more patient. After all good things come to those who wait.

Have fun interpreting this thread...:-)


Monday, November 13, 2006


I haven't been talking much about my viewing habits this fall season. But I have been hooked on a few shows over the months.

First and foremost, Flavor of Love 2. That's more of a guilty pleasure. I mean it's embarrassing to admit that I even watched that chunk fest. Yeah it's over. Flav wound up picking the big booty girl from Detroit who can be seen here and here. Such a role model...:-)

So has Flava Flav found love. The answer is no. After the reunion aired, there were already rumors that they had broken up. Too bad so sad.

My fave girl New York was back in the mother fucking house by the half-way point and managed to be a two time loser to Flav. But alas it won't be the last we hear of New York. She has her own show on VH-1 called "I Love NY" that's premiering in January. That oughta be fun. I'm so there.

I've gotten hooked on new shows Heroes on NBC and The Nine on ABC. The former is about a group of ordinary people who discover that they have extraordinary superpowers. Apparently they have to use those powers to "save the world". I'm surprised how the show managed to reel me in as I'm not really a comic book superhero reader.

The Nine follows the lives of 9 individuals following being stuck in a bank robbery for over 2 days. The writing seems pretty tight, though the ratings don't seem to be all that great. In fact, I'm almost fearing it'll be cancelled before the season is out. That would be a shame.

Of course I still watch Lost and Desperate Housewives (damn wasn't the "Bang" episode last week stellar?)

One show that I haven't been following but may watch this Tuesday is Dancing With The Stars. I was mainly turned off by the host Tom Bergeron. But I keep seeing hotties Joey Lawrence (sigh...I miss Half & Half), Emmitt Smith, and Mario Lopez flashing on my TV screen and recently on the cover of TV Guide (that was a hot cover). I think I'll put up with the corny & annoying Bergeron for one evening. There's more than enough eye candy to keep me interested and there's always the mute button.

Happy TV surfing.


Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Politically Abreast

I hope all my fellow bloggers and readers went out to cast their vote today. I left work early to cast my own ballot. It's that whole don't vote, don't bitch thing I got going. As someone said, since I like to bitch, I best vote.

I had the option to vote electronically but my precient only had one electronic station and there was a line so I opted for the old fashioned paper ballot. Actually that might be a blessing in disguise since I've been reading about all the glitches in the E-ballot system (though in its defense a lot of it was minor).

The Illinois elections haven't really excited me but the one election I'm really interested in seeing is the governor's race in my homeboy Eugene's state. Massachusetts may have their first elected African American governor in Deval Patrick. It's definitely a historic event. I even donated $100 to the cause to get him in office.

Deval Patrick is favored to win (so far). Check out the Deval blog. It's pretty informative (relatively speaking of course).

GO DEVAL!!!!!!!!!


Sunday, November 05, 2006

Dancing Queen

Dancing Queen - ABBA

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen

Friday night and the lights are low
Looking out for the place to go

Where they play the right music, getting in the swing

You come in to look for a king

Anybody could be that guy

Night is young and the music's high

With a bit of rock music, everything is fine

You're in the mood for a dance

And when you get the chance...

You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life

that girl, watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen

You're a teaser, you turn 'em on

Leave them burning and then you're gone
Looking out for another, anyone will do
You're in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance...

You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen

Dancing Queen, feel the beat from the tambourine

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life

See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the Dancing Queen

That pretty much summed up my Saturday night. I was literally a dancing queen (gotta love the gay terminology...*LOL*) at the Generator. It's not often I get the courage to put myself, ummm, out there on the dance floor. But put myself out there I did. I met Spades and his buddy and his hook-up date there and we danced for nearly two hours. It was wild. Winifred (yeah didn't think I'd see him again...*LOL*) even made an appearance and said hi to Spades and myself. Apparently a birthday isn't the only thing we share. It truly is a small gay world. Hemingway it was cool.

Oddly enough I became really obsessed with the singing group ABBA, thanks to seeing Mamma Mia! while in Vegas. Great show by the way!!! A must see.

As soon as I got back from Vegas, I bought their compilation CD and have been playing their songs non-stop for over two weeks now. Somebody help me.

I'll be really brief on the trip since I did run off at the mouth about my Raleigh trip.

Spades did wind up meeting me in Vegas. He was quite the homosexual metrosexual (if that made sense). I never seen a guy with so many bathroom products. I only had travel size toothpaste, mouthwash, toothbrush, comb, and soap with me. That took up probably less than 5% of the bathroom space. Good thing I guess since he took up over 70% of it.

The room we had was adequate. I think I liked the Wyndham better.

We had a real nice time and I realized that we'll probably be really good friends. I could definitely see us traveling together again.

I didn't get to see Toni Braxton in concert but I did buy some mugs and stuff from the Toni Braxton store in Flamingo. So that was nice.

I lost $110, which wasn't bad for me. I had a brief lucky spill in Keno (at Harrah's) winning about $80 dollars, but I quickly lost that.

That was my trip in a nutshell.

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