Sunday, September 18, 2005

Call Of The Divas

The following public service announcement starring Oprah, known as O, and eric g., henceforth known simply as E transpires:

(O's currently in a cranky mood.): "Bitch knows those tits ain't real. How dare she says I can't sing. Who do they think sung the soundtrack to my own show that one season? Moi, Oprah! Okay! Hello?"

(E's feeling a bit annoyed. And yeah, that's really Huey from the Boondocks...*LOL*): "Didn't I tell you to behave? I can't take you anywhere. Besides, we're on the air."

: "We are? Why do I have to do a public service announcement about something they won't let me sing at? Don't they know who I am? It's like I'm reliving Hermes all over again. Watch me take them down, on the next Oprah."

(E's lying through his teeth.): "Chill out O! I didn't want to tell you this but the reason they didn't want you to sing this year (he snides under his breath...'or any year' ) was because they needed your strong hypnotic presence to millions of viewers of your fine show to convince them to attend this worthy charity event and to also appoint you to, umm, man the buffet hall."

(O gets excited while maintaining a cranky stance.) : "Man the buffet hall? That's such an honor. I'm the perfect man, I mean woman, for the job. So where's that script?

(E hands O her script while O does breathing exercises to get ready.)

"Hello everyone! I'm Oprah, as if you didn't know that, my gullib-uh, I mean faithful viewers. I'm here to tell you all about an event that's taking place in L.A. soon. It's called Divas Simply Singing and the b-, I mean, diva featured on the poster on top of this message is none other than the beautiful Sheryl Lee Ralph." (O rolls her eyes.) "Why I got to call her beautiful?"

(E sighs before shooting O a dirty look.): "Hemingway, I still remember her playing waitress Ginger on the 80's sitcom, It's A Living. Plus I recall her performance in the Denzel Washington flick The Mighty Quinn. I think she even sang a couple songs off that LP. And who can forget her run-ins on Moesha with the diva-in-training Brandy? I think I remember reading about the tension between the two. Then again, it may have been between Countess Vaughn and Brandy. Let me stop starting rumors.

So Hemingway, Sheryl Lee Ralph founded an organization in 1990 called the Diva Foundation. This organization was founded in honor of all those close to Sheryl that she lost to HIV and AIDS. As part of an annual event to raise money for AIDS research, Ralph gathers up several other divas and they rock the house down. This event, appropriately titled Divas Simply Singing, is in its 15th year. Tell em' when and where it's taking place, O."

:"Sure thing, E. Divas, minus the talented O, Simply Singing is on Saturday, October 8th at 7:30 PM. It'll be held at:
Wilshire Ebell Theatre
4401 West 8th Street

Los Angeles, CA , again, that's Wilshire Ebell Theatre at 4401 West 8th Street in LA. Be there or be square."

(E points towards an empty hallway.) : "Oh my god, O. I just saw John Travolta, Julia Roberts, and Tom Cruise walking over there and they were waving at you."

:"They were? Oh my!! They're like my bestest friends evah. Gotta go!" (With that, O has left the building.)

:"Now that O has left the building, let's talk about two divas who really do know how to sing. Now remember these divas:

Wouldn't they be a good addition to this event? Both ladies clearly display diva-ish behavior on Half & Half. They both have singing talent. Valarie has performed for this event in 2002 and 2004. So odds are good that she may perform this year. Telma never has (to my knowledge anyway) but it'd be cool if she did. It'd be even cooler if they did their act together.

If you want to see these divas perform live at this event, email this request to:

A friend of mine in LA has tickets to the event and seeing especially Valarie would be a dream come true. Check out the website and if you'll be in the LA area, October 8th, be sure to check it out. There's also ticket information as well. That concludes my PSA for today."



Blogger ByeBye said...

...the was entertaining. enjoy!

3:43 PM, September 18, 2005  
Blogger lady in satin said...

HAHA!! You should definitely write screenplays! I read that as if I was watching it transpire on a TV screen. =)

6:48 PM, September 18, 2005  
Blogger Rose said...

Very interesting. I enjoyed it. Lady in Satin was right. It was like reading a screen play.

11:07 PM, September 18, 2005  
Blogger Rose said...

Very interesting. I enjoyed it. Lady in Satin was right. It was like reading a screen play.

11:07 PM, September 18, 2005  
Blogger Rose said...

Very interesting. I enjoyed it. Lady in Satin was right. It was like reading a screen play.

11:07 PM, September 18, 2005  
Blogger Echo said...

That was cute. Love the blog!

1:05 PM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger Jamal K. Franklin said...

Um, why don't I ever remember reading a nice paragraph about myself on your page before you added me to your blog roll? Huh Mr.??? Well, I'm waiting for an answer! LOL


1:18 PM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger Stone said...

LOL that was cute

11:32 PM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger Essequibo said...

*grinz* at today's entry in the blog and yes, I would lick chocolate syrup off of Sheryl Lee Ralph *sighs*

11:33 PM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger The Foxybrown Show said...

You are something else Sir!

6:39 AM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger lj said... the O

6:19 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger LivingSingle said...

Very entertaining. I hope you have fun :)

8:05 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger Frank León Roberts said...

this is hilarious...

2:10 PM, September 22, 2005  

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