Saturday, September 03, 2005

Not All Roses Smell Like Poo Poo Poo

It's weird saying that I'm concluding my week long series of 'what's wrong with eric g.' considering that this blog is all about eric g. But nonetheless, I am concluding my week long series. And trust, I'm sure I'll be revisiting these issues from time to time.

Tonight's vice is my tendency to breeze through quickly in life and not take the time to savor the moment. I notice that even when running my errands. I'm so quick to get to my destination, that I don't notice my surroundings all the time. I don't realize that a business may be in an area until I need it. Then I'm like, 'oh, it's in the same block'.

I'm obsessed with trying to get to the next level and don't always realize the little accomplishments along the way. I never feel like I've arrived. I'm always playing catch up.

A lot of guys would kill to be in my position. I got my first job before graduating from college in May 1995. I'm making a decent living and I was 27 when I got my current house. Yet it's not enough that I just have a house. I want a more spacious home with a nicer car and some even more fashionable threads.

I never feel like I've really arrived. I'm reminded of that when I go to Detroit. Some people at my family's church put me on this pedestal. One nice older gentleman, who unfortunately passed away a few years ago, always used to call me a "young executive". He called me that before I even got my first corporate job. When I did get that job and would come home to Detroit for holidays and such, he'd always address me that way. It'd make me feel good but then I feel like I don't deserve that kind of praise. My pastor even asks me if I'm president of the company yet.

I do keep it in perspective, though. I'm sure he's not saying I'm less of a person if I'm not president. It's just that hearing those things reminds me that I'm not.

My parents also put me on a pedestal. They express time and time again how proud they are of me, which is cool. My sisters hadn't taken the same path as I did, which disappoints them. I know too that sometimes my sisters are jealous of me because of how our parents treat me. I'm the so-called successful one in the family, even though I don't feel like it. I do admit this plays a bit into my "catering" ways since I try not to do things that would disappoint my parents. I also try to reach a middle ground with my sisters.

I joked with "Stan" once about my predicament. He told me I should tell my mom that I hate her cooking, which he said would knock me off that pedestal. He was playing around, of course.

I should be proud of what I've done, though. I did come a long way. There were times I didn't even think I'd make it through college. Assembler language almost made me quit. That class kicked my ass and gave no mercy. But I kept going, with the help of those around me. I would not be where I am if it weren't for my family, including my church family.

It's too bad that it sometimes takes disasters like Katrina to make me take the time to appreciate what I do have. To slow down from my hectic pace and smell the roses I planted all around me. I know a lot of the folks going through even harder times would love to switch places with me. I do realize that I am blessed.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Harold Gibson said...

Eric man settle down. You're good. You're a smart intelligent black man who is not trying to be either a hetero or homo "ho." You manage your business. You love your family and value your friends. Don't worry abt being a pleaser, you have to be who you are. Not everybody can be a stone cold Steve Austin. Live on your pedestal, you did not get there by yourself, the Lord lifted you and rejoice that he will continue to keep you lifted up.

I for one salute you!

3:48 PM, September 03, 2005  
Blogger lady in satin said...

You deserve every bit of praise that you get from people. Just don't let it go to your head! Take it as a compliment and move forward, and use it as motivation. =)

8:56 PM, September 04, 2005  

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