Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Peeling Onions

Last weekend found me back in my hometown of Detroit. The reason for my visit was to give my old car to my parents. My Dad has been looking on and off for a replacement car but really didn't have much luck. I told him a few months back that if I get my new ride that I would give him my old one.

While in town, I was surprised when my younger sis Trina came by to visit. I was even more surprised that she was alone and not with her guy. The few times I have seen Trina in the past, she always seemed to be glued to the guy.

I have to admit I was really happy to see my parents and Trina having a pleasant conversation. The past has always been a bit tumultuous between them. So the fact that the chatting was civil put a smile on my face.

Before Trina came over, though, I had dinner with my folks. During the course of dinner, my Dad was talking about his finances and the nice lady that was helping him out. He then said he told the lady that he has a nice son available. Sigh. My Mom cracked me up a little when she said that the lady was probably already taken. Yeah the jigga's up with her...*LOL*. So you know that put me in that whole I need to tell my family about me mode.

Fast forward to later in the evening. Trina, Mom, and I are in the dining/living room area talking here and there while watching some show on NBC...maybe Journey Man. I forget. Eventually Trina makes noises that she better get going. Something comes over me and I tell Trina to hold up and I had something to show her in the back.

I pretty much had the same feelings I had before telling Sally last year that I was gay. As Trina and I walked towards the guest room I was staying at, I had that antsy feeling. I wasn't sure how I was going to tell Trina about me but I knew I had to let it out. I knew I had to say something when we reached the room since the only thing I had that I could show her was my old Mary J Blige CD (that I actually bought while in New York). That would've been so lame...*LOL*.

So after a bit of rambling, I confessed to my sister my liking of guys. She almost had the same reaction as Sally. She was happy I told her and stated that she had a feeling for a few years but didn't want to ask. She immediately hugged me. She then told me that I had to live my life the way I saw fit and I wasn't obligated to share my business with everybody.

I told her that I was seeing this guy...*LOL*. Actually I mentioned Rock's name and how we were almost hitting one year together. I then did something I've always wanted to do. I asked her if her guy was any good for you. In the past I always felt since I wasn't giving full disclosure about my situation, that I shouldn't be sweating her. She told me that he was good (you know aside from his words...*LOL*) to her. That's all I needed to know. I know when it comes to relationships, shit happens. You can't control completely who you wind up falling for. One person's poison is another person's life source. It's nice to know now we can talk about each other's relationships.

I also shared pictures of Rock and my "nutty professor" BFF Eugene. I cracked up because I told her that Eugene is like the "nutty professor" and based on his picture, she agreed.

Honestly I felt like Trina and I became closer last weekend. Plus it's nice being able to share a small part of me with one member of my family. She told me that she didn't think Mom and Dad would be too upset, though she wondered culturally how they'd handle it, since my folks are from the islands originally. Ironically even though I personally think my Dad would be able to handle it better, I feel like I still would gravitate towards telling my Mom. She did open that door last year plus it crushes me each time my Dad has that false hope. I don't want to crush it. We'll see where things go.

I'm just happy things went well with Trina.

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Blogger Cocoa Rican said...

Be outrageous... wait until Thanksgiving dinner and make it the year that you brought the dinner convo to a screeching halt! LOL
Wouldn't that be a hoot?!

11:00 AM, October 24, 2007  
Blogger Cash S. said...

lol @ Cocoa.

My parents and extended family (with the exception of two lesbians cousins) don't know. I'm sure they suspect, seeing how I haven't brought a girl around since high school, but it's still hard to say it. I totally know how you feel.

11:50 AM, October 24, 2007  
Blogger j_most said...

That is so great, you are making progress!

Doesn't being in a relationship make it easier? :)

10:10 PM, October 25, 2007  
Blogger bLaQ~n~MiLD said...

Indeed yo. Interesting story. Only peeps in my fam that know is my Momz and my Gma. My pops doesn't know and considering I only see him about 3 times a year, I didn't feel it necessary to divulge such information. But cheers to you for being so courageous.


12:42 PM, October 26, 2007  
Blogger life said...

That was a big step...go head

12:56 AM, October 27, 2007  
Blogger BuddahDesmond said...

Glad to see things went well. You've made the first step. Everything else will fall in place.

9:14 PM, October 27, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Jones said...

Good for you.

11:22 AM, October 28, 2007  
Blogger Rose said...

Glad you could discuss this with your sister. I think your parents would be accepting too.

6:49 PM, October 28, 2007  
Blogger yet another black guy said...

congrats on finding the strength to come out to a family member. i know all to well how impossible it seems, but i do believe that deep down they all know.

9:15 AM, October 30, 2007  
Blogger SpecialK261 said...

damn..that's interesting...hmm...telling your family..damn, that will be a big step...I don't even think that'll be an option for me esp. not for the next 10 years or so..I'm 1st generation west indian living in you know how that is...guess it helps that they can't hit me with a pot spoon since they are still back in the stll the fear is stilll there and I really don't want to shame my mum...I think she deals with enough...

4:16 PM, October 31, 2007  

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