Saturday, November 10, 2007

Tug Of E

Over the year that Rock and I have been together, I've had to try and find the balance between Rock and my bff Eugene. Before Rock came into my life, Eugene was the only guy in the picture. I've mentioned how Eugene and I chat practically every night and have always been an ear for each other. Even when he's been busy, he would take a few minutes break and shoot the breeze with me.

I've found myself quite a few times on the receiving end of a verbal tiff by both Eugene and Rock. There have been times when I'm talking to Eugene on the phone and Rock would call and I wouldn't switch over. Rock would get pissy at me when I told him that I was talking to Eugene at the time. He told me that I should switch over and tell him that I'm busy with Eugene just to let him know.

Logically I suppose if I don't answer the phone, nine times out of ten, I'm busy, right? It seemed a mute point but I decided to go along with this.

I oblige Rock's wishes to switch over and let him know I'm busy and then Eugene gives me a hard time. Sometimes if I know Rock may not have a chance to call soon, I tell Eugene I have to go take the call. Eugene then says that Rock would never switch over if I call and he's in the middle of a conversation.

Rock at times says I put Eugene before him. Eugene sometimes thinks I put Rock before him. I feel like both of them tolerate the other guy's presence in my life. Rock's told me several times, 'I know he's your boy but...' and I feel like every other sentence Eugene says is about cutting it off with Rock. Crazy.

So now I think Eugene's mad at me, which prompted this entry. Actually I haven't really blogged much about Eugene lately. There have been times I've felt like Eugene and I are drifting apart a bit. We were supposed to spend Halloween weekend watching the opening of Saw IV together. I even bought my ticket the month before to fly out to Boston to watch it there. The day before the trip, he said a last minute work related project (something about putting together a grant proposal that was needed that Monday) was thrown on his lap by his boss and he absolutely couldn't hang out as planned. He left a voice text message telling me this because he knew I would be pissed.

On the flip side, Rock was none too pleased that I planned that weekend trip. That weekend was his birthday weekend. In my defense (cause I can hear the hell no's...*LOL*), Rock and I said we should have a combo celebration. Our birthdays are two weeks apart. Sally's birthday fell between Rock and mine's and she suggested the three of us do something together. Things never quite worked out to do the combination thing. The weekend we went to Madison (which was the weekend before my "birthday weekend"), he made the weekend "all about me" even though I was hoping the trip was for "both of us". He cooked a nice meal and called it my birthday dinner. My actual birthday weekend, he spent most of his time at his Mom's fixing her windows from the storm Chicago had that week. He came by that Sunday for about two hours and we just had a quick lunch and lounged around. The weekend after that I drove to Detroit to drop my old baby off. The next weekend was my planned trip to Boston. Rock himself had birthday plans with his friends and another celebration with an ex-boyfriend he's been friends with for years that's relocating to another state. And no I wasn't jealous. *LOL*.

So Hemingway Eugene cancelled and I was pretty pissy. Eugene's decision to leave the voice text was smart on his part because it gave me the chance to cool off and when we finally talked, I wasn't as upset . Knowing Rock's displeasure about the trip, I was reluctant to tell Rock about the cancellation. But I did tell him.

Since I didn't have any plans anymore, I was hoping maybe Rock would invite me to hang out with his friends (especially considering I've hung with his friends before). But Rock didn't offer and I wasn't going to ask. Guess Rock felt since I would've had plans prior had Eugene not canceled, he wasn't about to be my backup plan. I wound up spending that weekend alone, deciding to check out Saw IV myself since Eugene and I never rescheduled the trip. Sidebar: If you've seen Saw IV, then you know Lyriq Bent is a serious hottie, especially when he's in his undies. But that's a digression.

The last conversation Eugene and I had was this past Wednesday morning. I wound up cutting it short when Rock called. I knew Rock would only have a couple minutes before he arrived at work to talk and we didn't chat earlier since I worked out that morning. Actually I think we spoke for a few minutes that evening but I was in the middle of a Netflix rental (yeah I became a Netflix member this past week after the Hollywood Video by me closed shop) and didn't speak too long. We haven't spoken since despite my numerous attempts to call him these past couple days.

He very well could be busy but that hasn't stopped him in the past from checking in. Looks like I may need to go back to the drawing board of finding a perfect balance between Rock and Eugene.

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Blogger life said...

Lawd, all I hear is "what I need from you is understanding" by Xscape. Boys, boys, boys calm down there is enough E to go around. Both of them need a good talking to, so they can understand their position and nobody should feel insecure about the other.

9:47 AM, November 10, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you go to Boston by yourself?

BTW, you've been officially tagged! Visit for more details.

1:10 PM, November 12, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Jones said...

When you're in a relationship, your friends will take a back seat. It just kinda works out that way. It's tough to deal with sometimes, but Eugene really needs to handle the situation with a little more class.

True friendships often outlast relationships. In the rare cases that the relationships last a long time, that friend should be too busy being ecstatic that you've found someone worthwhile to worry about how infrequently you two see each other or talk.

Just my $0.02.

4:02 PM, November 12, 2007  
Blogger That Dude Right There said...

Both Rock and Eugene need to mature a little bit more. Jealousy is not cute!

I would have cursed both of their asses out for real.

12:11 AM, November 13, 2007  
Blogger yet another black guy said...

i'm with the group on this one. you need to be assertive and let them know that you don't plan on letting either one go so they had better LEARN to like each other and stop with the sniping.

11:26 PM, November 13, 2007  
Blogger Ladynay said...

I agree with the fella hun! They betta get with it!

9:29 AM, November 14, 2007  
Blogger One Man’s Opinion said...

I agree with Mr. Jones. In relationships, the friends come second, you just have to be subtle about it. I will say this, if you have call waiting than you should click over when your man is calling and vise-a-versa. That is call respect, because I am assuming you would want him to do the same for you (this is exactly why I don't have call waiting, because I think it is rude to click over altogether. Maybe you should consider not having call waiting if you are not going to use it).
Rock should not expect you to give up your best friend for him and I pray that your friendship with Eugene does not suffer because of your relationship with Eugene. I pray that you and Rock have a life long relationship, but in all honesty, good friends tend to outlast most other relationships.
Good luck. Don't let them pull you apart.

6:30 PM, November 14, 2007  
Blogger SpecialK261 said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

5:35 PM, November 22, 2007  
Blogger SpecialK261 said... considering what has been said and the events leading up to the weekend....I deduce that your dude is bit uncomforatbale to say the least with his place in your life specifically when it invovles your best friend...hmmm...coming from someone else in a have to reassure him that he's number as far as the best friend..I think home boi will have to make amends to you about the trip..the way he cancelled it was bit tacky and unfair....

On the other hand if the reason that your dude didn't invite you out that weekend was becuase he was trying not to be a rebound (maybe a bad word choice)...then I think he needs to take another approach..he should have taken a route that would have helped the situation...I mean every hour with you really counts right? I think you also shoudl haev given him a call and hinted to him with out actually asking that you wanted to go out with him...I don't think he would have been unhappy about that...

P.S. Please make time for your dude. The bff will for the most part be always there...

5:43 PM, November 22, 2007  

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