Thursday, June 08, 2006

Polite Strangers

Yesterday marked my parent's 37th wedding anniversary. 37 years. Can you imagine that? These days, folks break up over the stupidest of things. Actually it probably is better to break up before getting married. But Hemingway it is great that my folks are still together.

Trina called me earlier today wanting to find out what year my parents got married. I quickly informed her and then headed out to TGIF's to meet a prospective date.

While I was in the car, I decided to phone my parents to congratulate them on their years together. My Dad answered the phone and I immediately congratulated him. Our conversations were pretty general. You know, weather, car, work, etc. After a while, my Mom came on the phone and I gave the same message. The conversation with her was pretty much the same except I added dinner to the equation.

As we chatted, I started thinking about how I don't share a lot of what's going with me with them. I even felt a bit sad briefly. Eventually we ran out of things to say and we hung up.

Eugene was sitting in the passenger seat (ohh...did I forget to mention Eugene is in town for a few days staying with me?) silently listening to my conversation with my parents. He told me that my conversation with them reminded me a lot of his conversations with his parents.

He went on to tell how his sister has her kids to talk about to his parents & typically married kids defer to chatting about their spouses and children. For his friend in Wisconsin, he mentioned that his friend got closer to his family after buying a house. But for Eugene, he doesn't really discuss his love life with his family or even who he's seeing. And other than general topics, doesn't share much.

It was as if his parents and himself were as he termed it, polite strangers. Basically just making friendly conversation without causing any rifts.

It was an interesting observation and one that I could relate to.

Of course all this talk led to whether we would tell our folks about our same-sex loving ways. He added that my Mom tried to open that door to freeing us from the polite when she asked me if I was gay. However I quickly closed it by saying that I wasn't. Although I wasn't ready for that door to be open yet.

Once again, it was cool that Eugene related to what I was thinking and put into words what I was feeling. I suppose a lot of in the closet (to themselves..though some people in the world just know...*LOL*) guys if they still chat with their parents feel the same way.

I'm actually going home to Detroit Friday afternoon. Maybe I'll open the door a little bit. We'll see.

So Hemingway Eugene's in town until Saturday when he himself will head to Detroit (by rental car) for a wedding and then to Dayton, OH to visit his brother.

As for the date? It was cool. I don't think I'm totally attracted to Matt but he does seem like a nice person. Matt's definitely into me. He left me a voicemail after getting home. We're supposed to be hanging out again next week. I'm going to focus on trying to cultivate a friendship.

It was interesting having Eugene there with me. Eugene served as the comic relief in the group, which made the evening go by smoother.

Later today Eugene wants to take me shopping for clothes. Heaven help me!

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10 Comments:

Blogger kool said...

Even after telling my mother, we still don't discuss it. Sometimes it's almost as if I never said anything.

8:52 AM, June 08, 2006  
Blogger Cash S. said...

I can relate to that. Moms and I are fairly close but Pops and I are polite strangers.

9:05 AM, June 08, 2006  
Blogger That Dude Right There said...

I never really told my Mom, but she did pick up on the hints. Hints like me quitting my job to move to another city with my "roommate."

As for the rest of the family, when they decide to talk about my life, then I will talk. But I will not be the one to bring it up.

10:20 PM, June 08, 2006  
Blogger The Captain said...

It's amazing how guys can be big boyz in other places, but unable to open the door to their sexuality....ashamed? afraid?

5:43 PM, June 09, 2006  
Blogger ~HoustonNY~ said...

I hope Eugene has good taste in clothes for your sake!! LOL

6:17 PM, June 09, 2006  
Blogger lj said...

You know having a parent TOO interested in your life isn't good either. Did you hear your girl from Half&Half is gonna be on the new season of Noahs Arc

8:38 PM, June 09, 2006  
Blogger Rose said...

Eugene is taking you shopping? What did you do to him?

12:42 AM, June 11, 2006  
Blogger Ms. Behavin' said...

interesting blog... If your Mom already asked the tough question, she probably won't be shocked when you decide to "open the door". Good luck!!

1:49 PM, June 11, 2006  
Blogger Bklyn Diva said...

lol so Ummm did you talk to your mom?

11:06 AM, June 14, 2006  
Blogger Marz said...

I totally feel that poite stranger thing. Especially now since I'm not home as often as I usually was.


-Marz

5:01 PM, June 15, 2006  

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