Missing The Horse

I'm being unrealistic and unreasonable and nonsensical in this entry. But whatever. I'm having a moment. I'll probably look back on this post one day and cringe. But Hemingway.

There are times I wish I were more popular and athletic growing up. Why was I an unpopular geek? I think I missed out on many opportunities for horseplay.

I try not to be envious but I can't help but feel that way as Eugene tells his tales of encounters he's had with guys (many of them his buddies) over the years. Of course many of these guys are strong and athletic and have great bodies. He's told tales where he's jumped on the back of these guys, guys bending bars in front of him, guys flexing their biceps in front of him, guys horseplaying with him. Plus as a professor at a local college he runs into hot guys practically every day and even mentions being pursued by some of them. It's a wonder he still hasn't had his cherry popped.

Eugene was telling me one of those stories tonight. He concluded that the guy in this latest tale wanted him to suck his dick. But of course Eugene would have none of that. I got disgusted and hung up on him.

I guess I was jealous. Again.

To compensate for not being athletic at all, I try to work out in the gym to find my inner athlete. I feel so far behind in the grand scheme of things. I've worked out on and off over the years but I don't feel like I'm that strong. It makes me wonder why I'm even killing myself going to the gym. I want to have strong guys horse around with me for a change. But in the industry and job I'm in, hot guys are few and far between.

I've always been cute or handsome (well later in life...*LOL*) but hardly anybody would ever say I was hot or sexy. Okay that may be an overstatement. I'm sure somebody (who I find hot) thinks I'm hot and sexy too.

But I know I need to stop my pity party. Things aren't actually that bad for me. In fact, things may actually be looking up for me. I just have to be a little more patient. After all good things come to those who wait.

Have fun interpreting this thread...:-)