In Lust With A Stripper

I'm In Love With A Stripper - T-Pain

U got them big ass hips god damn!
Got the body of a goddess
Got eyes with a peak of brown eyes see you girl
Droppin Low
She Comin Down from the ceiling
To tha floo
Yea She Know what she doin
Yea yea yea
She doin that right thang
Yea yea yea yea ea
I Need to get her over to my crib and do that night thang
Cause I'm N Luv wit a stripper
She poppin she rollin she rollin
She climbin that pole and
Im N Luv with a stripper
She trippin she playin she playin
Im not goin nowhere girl im stayin
Im N Luv with a stripper

I was in lust with a stripper last night.

Yesterday was shaping up to be another typical boring Friday night. I ordered a small Lou Malnati's pizza and chilled out watching the last episode of North & South: Book 2. After enjoying the pizza and concluding that episode, I resigned myself to watch a crappy episode of Book 3 before I laid me down to sleep. I went to check email and see who was on the Hoo! I saw a guy I'll call Huey on-line. We never met each other before but we chatted on and off every so often. So we start chatting and out of the blue he invites me to go to a bar/club with him.

I thought about it a minute and realizing that I needed more spontaneity in my life, I agreed. I showered, put on my blue jeans and a black t-shirt with some black loafers, and took off to his place. It was about 11:30 PM when I arrived there. Since street parking was full, Huey had me park in his spot. I then hopped in his car and we took off for Jackhammer, a gay bar on the northside of Chicago.

We got to know each other a bit more and I was liking what I heard. He seemed to be an ambitious person. He was currently a project manager for one of the biggest advertising agencies in Chicago and works with designers on some of the annoying spam ads that pop up on any given page (among other projects).

After stopping at Dominick's (he needed some cash) and then circling around the neighborhood for a parking spot, we headed towards the bar. We left our coats in the trunk and I nearly froze my ass before we got inside.

I almost ran into a problem. I didn't have my driver's license with me due to my recent trip to L.A. With the whole security check thing, I forgot to put my license back in my wallet. (I can't believe I've been driving all week without it...*LOL*) Security almost didn't let me in. But then one of the guards complimented me on my t-shirt (it read Psych Ward 158-3-26) and another told me to come forward, like he wanted to hug me or something. He smiled and presented me with a ticket for a free drink. I was ready to pay the $5 cover charge but Huey paid my way, which was cool. So we stepped inside.

Huey and I smiled as we watched a drag queen dancing in the middle of the floor. A muscular queeny-acting dude whispered in my ear asking me to stick a dollar in her skirt. I laughed, of course, because I had no intention of doing such a thing.

Huey and I moved to another part of the club and the drag queen later came up to us, hugging us individually, and thanking us for coming to Jackhammers. Fifteen minutes later, she came up and did the same thing again.

An acquaintance of Huey's came into the club and met us there. It was a small world as I've seen said acquaintance on A4A. He even hit me up once before but OldNavy wasn't my type so I didn't reply. He didn't appeal to me much in person either but he seemed to be a nice fellow.

OldNavy knew a bunch of dudes, including another queeny dude that was high off of something. He kept on kee-keeing about something and hugging up on Huey and myself. He was actually a bit scary but funny at the same time. He made me drop my drink when trying to sit on my lap. OldNavy made him buy me another one. He bought me a drink and a heart ring from some lady vendor. Homeboy was crazy.

Then there was this heavy set mulatto woman that made herself too comfortable taking off her sweater. Thank goodness she gave her girls some support...*LOL*.

It was crazy up in there. But I was having fun.

While this was all happening, this sexy black male stripper was dancing on the stage. I think his stage name was Romeo. He had a banging body. Nice chest, nice abs, nice ass. But most important, he had a sexy face. He really got the patrons all hot and bothered. As some patrons stuck dollar bills in his g-string (including the lady vendor - so that's where all her profits go...*LOL*) and received some special attention from Romeo, I contemplated sticking a dollar myself.

I never stuck a dollar in a man's g-string before but I thought about losing my stripper virginity. Huey and OldNavy were egging me on. I chickened out.

Romeo left the stage and he walked towards where we were. He then came up and introduced himself to me. I was besides myself and I think I told him some gibberish. He walked away and I touched his butt cheek.

Huey teased me about Romeo taking a liking to me.

A less appealing stripper took his turn on the stage. Nobody gave him love. OldNavy was especially not feeling him. Poor dude couldn't even get anyone after playing with his dick. It was sad.

Romeo returned to the stage twenty minutes later. The crowds returned to give him love. Huey and OldNavy egged me on again to put a dollar in his g-string. I pulled out my dollar and teased that I was gonna do it. I didn't. But then Huey and OldNavy gave me a push and I went what the hell. We walked up towards Romeo and I flashed him my dollar. I lost my stripper virginity as I rubbed Romeo up and down. He pinched my nipples from outside my t-shirt and I eventually stuck the dollar in his g-string. He gave me one of his business cards with all his information. I guess if I wanted a private party with him, I knew how to contact him.

After his set, he came up and greeted me again. Wow, he was really working it...*LOL*.

A friend of OldNavy's later came up to meet OldNavy. My world became even smaller when I realized his friend was someone that I had a date with two years ago. He was actually a nice young guy that was new to Chicago around the time we originally met. We went out but there wasn't any real sparks between us.

It did take me a minute to remember him. While Huey and OldNavy went to some leatherbar next door for a few minutes, Olddate and I caught up. We were really cordial to each other.

I noticed a Seth-lookalike (remember that reality-tv show Kept) staring at me while Olddate and I chatted. He looked crazy so I looked away. Later on, it turned out that the same dude was following OldNavy around earlier in the evening and was looking to hook up with him. He kept on giving OldNavy dirty looks while walking back and forth around the bar. It was crazy.

OldNavy meanwhile kept hitting on me left and right. It was crazy.

My eyes started getting watery from all the cigarette smoke. When Huey finally asked me if I was ready to go, I told him yes. OldNavy wanted us to hang with him today. We'll see..:-)

Hemingway Huey and I drove back to his place. On the way back, he had me listen to T-Pain's single In Love With A Stripper in honor of my stripper experiences that night. It was hilarious as we both started singing the words.

Once we got to his place, we said our goodbyes. I gave him his parking spot back, and got home at 4:30AM. It wasn't such a boring Friday night after all.