Hit Me Baby 10000 Times!

It took almost 8 months but I finally got my 10000th hit Thursday morning. Luckily I was able to catch the moment before heading to work. Incidentally just as a watched pot never boils, a watched counter never increments. It was a 40 minute difference between when hit number 9999 came in and hit 10000 finally came across. Watching paint peel would've been more action...*LOL*.

Hemingway I was curious to see what what searched on to get to me. I present the results next.



Hit 9999 occured on Apr 27, 2006 at 08:28:09 AM (Central Time):
The Search link.

Hit words: JUDGE MAYBELLINE


Hit 10001 occured on Apr 27, 2006 at 09:24:23 AM (Central Time):
The Search link.

Hit words: judge maybelline

Hmmm....I'm hoping it's two different people. I wonder what Judge Maybelline has done to garner this much interest.


Now for the moment we've been waiting for!!!!!! Well one I've been waiting for, at least.



Fortunately hit 10000 proved to be a more interesting hit.



Hit 10000 on Apr 27, 2006 at 09:11:11 AM (Central Time):
The Search Link.

Hit words: lowell high school song with heads beared we stand

Okay? WTF was that search about? It's amazing the silly things people search on that brings up your page. Too weird.

And of course, none of those searchers commented on my page. What's up with that? Though I probably wouldn't want to know what they're thinking. *LOL*

Thanks everyone for hitting my page. Here's to 10000 more.

Blowing Pretend Aliases

In other words, some vocal comments about my recent posts. I wanted to sing but held myself back...*LOL*. I hope you all enjoy these.

Vocals Part I

Vocals Part II

Vocals Part III

A Pretend Girlfriend Of My Own

I've been seriously thinking about getting a pretend girlfriend. I've heard of the concept before and with the recent inquiries made by my Mom, I was wondering when folks from work will start inquiring. Not necessarily about if I'm gay but when am I getting a girlfriend.

I went to this anniversary lunch recently for one of my co-workers and this one guy I thought would never get hitched started talking about his upcoming wedding plans. He was going on and on about it. Of course I had nothing of the sort to share and I feared someone asking me the question.

Since a lot of my favorite lady bloggers are unfortunately not in the Chicago area(*LOL*), I was thinking I need to find another lady that wouldn't mind being my pretend girlfriend. Basically this lady would be privy to knowing about my real preferences, of course. She would have to occasionally attend work related functions with me and pretend to be really into me. We'd work out the logistics of how we met and stuff like that.

The lady I want would have to have her own personal goals, have some common sense, be quick-witted, and be able to adapt to any given situation with the ease of a tigress. Hopefully this lady and I would become really great friends in time.

I have some fantasies of what my pretend girlfriend would look like. Here's a few:




















The one lady friend that I have in my life Sally could potentially be cool, but she would squick out at the thought of pretending to be into me. Plus I've already introduced her to some of the circle as my friend, which she is. So she's out of the running.

I thought about asking this one lady at my job (actually she's the person that was celebrating her 20th anniversary last week at that lunch). Lana and I actually have a really cool relationship at work and she was one of my bowlers on the team. Oddly enough, Reid kept hinting that I should pair myself up with her after her recent divorce. From my years of knowing Lana, I get the sense I could trust her with my secret.

She'd be perfect too because we'd have a perfect reason for keeping the relationship secret.

But I think my "pretend girlfriend" should be someone nobody knows.

So are there ladies in the Chicago area that might be interested? Holla at a brother!

Blowing Off Steam

I was long overdue for an HIV check. And yeah, my visit to give blood last December doesn't really count. Incidentally I got called recently to schedule another appointment to give blood. To lie or not to lie about that question again...hmmm.

Hemingway I wound up going to Steamworks, yes Steamworks, in order to get tested. I went Thursday night after wrapping up my bowling season.

Being as it was my first time going there, I had no idea what would be in store. I entered their facility and walked into a secured checkpoint. I quickly learned that it wouldn't be a quick visit like I hoped.

The hispanic dude behind the counter told me that in order to get in, I would need to buy a membership. I was besides myself and told dude that he had to be kidding me. He kindly informed me that he wasn't.

I was half tempted to walk out. But I was half curious to see what was inside. For strictly educational purposes, of course. *LOL*.

So once he explained the pricing, I wound up getting a six month membership for $6. Patrons are also required to pay for either a room or locker. The locker rental was $10. Or that might've been the membership that was $10 and the locker was $6. Whatever it was, I paid $16 for the privilege of entering the bathhouse. I was given a white towel and a locker key with the number 465.

I entered the dungeon, carrying my towel and key. Of course I had no intention of stripping.

To my right, I saw a booth and some preppy dude sitting behind it. As I reached closer, I saw the sign for Howard Brown (the sponsors for the HIV and STD testing) and baskets of condom goodies. I asked dude about testing. He mentioned that the administrator was in the room with another tester and that the person was their last case.

I wanted to go off but I asked instead about the other services Howard Brown offers. According to their website, besides offering HIV/STD testing services they also provide counseling services for those affected by domestic violence and organize numerous community outreach events. It all sounded interesting.

But I was pissed because I wasted $16 to get inside and I wasn't even going to be tested. But hope appeared to be on my side. Another dude, I assume the one administering the tests, came to the booth. He mentioned that a rep from Be-Hiv would be coming at 11PM and would be able to give me a test. Not only that, they also offered the OraQuick rapid HIV test. With these tests, you know in twenty minutes whether you have it or not.

The upshot. I would have to stay inside Steamworks for another hour at least. The Steamworks environment was so sleazy. I could see men (mostly older, out of shape white dudes) in towels only walking around the facility. The place wasn't really inviting to me. The HB dudes mentioned that the facility had a movie room and upstairs was free internet access.

I figured the internet access thing would be cool. So I thanked them and reluctantly headed upstairs. I walked in on an open area where men in white were walking back and forth like they were part of some drone society. They appeared to be swaying to the house music that was playing. I walked towards an area and realized that all paths led into narrow, dark hallways where the men in white walked in and out of. A map of this place would be as Martha Stewart would say, a good thing.

Truth is, it creeped me out a bit. I sat down in a bench in the center of a narrow alcove, pretending to be waiting for someone else. It was creepy how the men would come out and walk from one narrow hallway and head inside another. I was like, how the hell do they know where they're going. A couple guys would stand near me as if they were checking me out. When I didn't respond, they would eventually leave.

I was cursing to myself for being there but at the same time kept thinking how funny it would be to share this with Eugene & my blog. I kept thinking I should do something that would be interesting enough to blog about but I wasn't feeling it. After 35 minutes of sitting there, I finally got up and headed back downstairs. I found the movie room and endured Jim Carrey for the next thirty minutes. I think it was Ace Ventura: Pet Detective that was on TBS. The man annoys me but in some odd way I could see his appeal to the masses.

As I sat in the corner of the room, I saw a dreadlocked do-ragged black dude walk in with a rolling suitcase. He knocked on a door that was adjacent to me. One of the preppy dudes came out and they were talking about something I couldn't really hear.

When I saw his suitcase, I was like, either he's getting a room at Steamworks and bought all his essentials or he was with Be-Hiv. It wound up being the latter. Thank goodness. Of course, he needed about fifteen minutes to set up. During that time, I walked up towards him and while he was setting up, he gave me this form to fill out.

I thought it would be Anonymous HIV testing but apparently it would be Confidential testing, which meant I would have to give my address among other things. The differences between each are explained in nice detail on this link.

So I filled out the form and endured some questioning. I told Dreaded about my silly drunken night of unprotected sex back in September. Dreaded wanted to know if I had any risky sexual behaviors in the last ninety days, to which I responded no. Actually I haven't had intercourse since early January so all was good there.

After over two hours of waiting, the moment of truth finally came. He was ready to administer the test on me. I wasn't sure what the Oraquick test involved but he explained that he would have to take some blood from my finger. I hate getting pricked but bucked up because well I had to "do what I gotta do"...*LOL*.

He took a sample of my blood and told me to come back in twenty minutes. So I left the room and waited in the movie room, while the next dude walked in to get grilled about his sexual history.

I received my verdict a little over twenty minutes later.

"E, you're...."

(Till next time.)



























Just kidding, I came back HIV negative.

Keeping My Aliases

I received a comment about my recent Working That Date Out post that I need to address. A reader was asking me if I was talking about the Timbaland. The answer to that question is no. I was using an alias name like I always do when referring to people I encounter in my life. I chose the name Timbaland because this particular person enjoyed wearing Timberland shoes. Which may lead one to wonder why I didn't call him Timberland instead. Heh...I liked the spelling Timbaland better.

Hemingway my last post discussed my weekend trip to Detroit and the unexpected drama I encountered at the last second. My Mom was giving me the 3rd degree about my love life and basically asked if I was batting for the gay team.

I've always told myself that if my parents asked me about my sexuality that I would be honest with them as hard as it would be (and at the risk of losing their love). I do get tired of living the lie and giving them false hope that I'll get hitched someday with a girl.

Unfortunately though, the approach my Mom took wasn't the best one. But I can't fault her for that. As I mentioned before, talk about sex has always been a bit taboo in my family. I imagine it was difficult for her to even bring up.

I'd be foolish to think that my own immediate family hasn't been speculating about my sexuality all these years. I'm convinced that my sisters already know and it wouldn't surprise me if my Mom asked them for an opinion.

Speculation among immediate family is one thing. But speculation from outside family that I don't even know (all of our outside family lives outside the United States) is a bit much.

That's why I looked my Mom straight in the eye and told her that I wasn't gay. I didn't act hysterically or anything. I spoke in a calm tone.

That calm tone probably wasn't that convincing. If I really wasn't gay, wouldn't I shout from the mountaintops..."Hell to the no!"? I'm sure any straight guy would be very vocal if someone accused them of being gay. I couldn't even muster that. So I'm pretty sure she wasn't convinced, though she did say she was relieved.

I had a lot to think about on my trip back to Chicago. I feel like I've come to a crossroads of sorts and had my own Climax, which incidentally I consider the mid-point between Detroit & my home outside Chicago.

Incidentally as I thinking about this, I had Ralph Tresvant's single, Do What I Gotta Do, playing in the CD player. As I thought about the lyrics, I was thinking that song would be a perfect song for a guy to sing to his woman if he wanted to confess that he was really gay.

If I were in my 20s, I probably could live the lie for a few more years. Maybe even find a lesbian girlfriend to pretend and have a relationship with. But as my Mom said, I'm not getting any younger. Life is way too short to have to keep lying to my family. I think I'm at the point that I may have to "do what I gotta do" and disappoint my parents.

I think if I do it, it'll probably be by letter. I would mail individual ones to my sisters (though I may call Trina directly) and parents. That way they can let it sink in and I won't have to see their initial reactions. Plus it'll give them time to talk about it among themselves and decide whether they still love me or not.

I guess I'll be the new black sheep of the family...*LOL*.

Jigga Out

I had a semi-productive day so far. I took a holiday from the job today. It was long overdue.

I spent the morning looking at laminate samples and ordering some of those on-line from a wholesale carpeting company in Atlanta. I should be getting those in the next few days. I spent part of the morning and the rest of the afternoon staining my front deck. I wasted time during lunch to meet a couple guys that were no-shows. It was my fault, though, because I decided to go even though I didn't hear back from either. But it gave me an excuse to stop at Chicago's Smoothies and Ice Cream for a mango/pineapple smoothie with some wheatgerm. It was delish.

I even decided to dial in to a work conference call this afternoon that I didn't have to call but since it's a process I need to understand, I decided to. SLAB was on the line so maybe that'll give me some brownie points (not that I'm looking for any...*LOL*).

The deck looks fabolous. I guess I need to hang out there more. I still need to clean and stain the patio in the back. That's a bit more daunting task.

Hemingway my trip to Detroit was shaping to be pretty uneventful. I drove over to Trina's job and chatted with her for a bit. She told me that she would stop at the house tomorrow so I could give her the gifts then.

Before leaving, Trina gave me a bit of a jolt by telling me that my face was starting to fill up. A week before, the janitor at my job told me I was looking pudgy. I do admit that I sorta slipped from hitting the gym for a minute but I didn't realize how dire things were, even with the other clues of my clothes not looking as good as they used to look on me.

So I went to the gym last night and I plan on going after posting this entry. I've also bought a new smoothie blender so that I can blend some healthy fruit (and Miracle Greens) concoctions.

So needless to say I was a bit self-conscious during Easter service on Sunday. Fortunately my stuff did fit me okay and nobody made any comments, so that was good.

Trina and the boyfriend did come over later in the evening. After giving Trina the gifts, my Mom, Trina, and myself were making small talk with an occasional chime from the boyfriend. It was getting close to midnight and I could see my Mom was getting tired so I gently urged them to get a move on. We said our goodbyes and so ended Easter Sunday.

Monday morning after I dropped my Dad off at work (his car starter died over the weekend), I came back to the house to finish packing for my return trip to Chicago. I joined my Mom in the dining room to watch the morning news. Good Morning America did the story again about the thousand or so gay families that were planning on taking part in the Easter celebrations at the White House. After the segment, my Mom asked me if I had a girlfriend. Here we go again, I thought. I told her I didn't have one and she asked me what am I waiting for since I'm not getting any younger.

I sheepishly laughed.

A little background...my parents never had that talk with me (or my sisters as far as I know) about the "birds and the bees". I guess they didn't know how to broach the subject and I wasn't going to ask them. I was already trying to keep in check my attraction to boys in high school. And I'm sure if I told them about that or what happened with "the bully" years back, they would've had a fit.

So talking about anything relating to sex always seemed to be a taboo subject. So the few times in my life my folks would ask about girlfriends, I would always brush them off with a 'not finding the right one' response. I know the brief time in my life I did have a girlfriend, they were probably really relieved.

So after laughing, I just shrugged my shoulders. I thought that was the end of it. But then my Mom went deeper. She recalled a recent conversation that she had with an aunt (I guess my grand-aunt). This aunt was querying to my Mom why my sisters and I don't have children yet. (What a nosy bitch.) So Hemingway this nosy grand-aunt went on to say that since I was a man, I should have kids by now. So then she mentioned to my Mom that the family does have gays and then insinuated that I was one (I mean never mind I am one...as I've recently come to terms with it.)

I assume my Mom was upset by the conversation. After rehashing the conversation to me, she then asked me the question. Are you gay?

My mind was quickly processing what to do and say.

I need to work out.

Most of All

Most of All - Jody Watley

You made a promise that you'd never desert me
So where are you now?
You built me up then left me standing all alone
Lost in the crowd.

My friends all say to forget you
I should but why do I hurt so

No one wins when the love is lost
You turned your back on me
When I needed you most of all
No one wins when love takes a fall
How could you let me down
I needed you most of all

Maybe I should learn to live life without you
Find someone new
But something happens deep inside when our eyes meet
I know you feel it too

That song is one of my favorites from Jody Watley (I'm loving that fro she's sporting in the pic I found of her at this site). I don't remember it being that big of a hit on the airwaves but the song was popular enough to make it on her greatest hits list. The words are straightforward yet poignant. I've experienced these words a few times in my life...*LOL*.

But I'm not going to dredge about those disappointments. At least not tonight. There's plenty of posts for that already.

I think this is going to be another one of those drive-by posts...:-)

You know what made me happy, most of all (*LOL*...I'm so corny but cute), this week? Being able to have one more chance before I leave for Detroit tomorrow morning to write on this blog. I visit blogs practically everyday and it's hard keeping up with everyone's blogs, though I notice some of you have taken a summer hiatus, so that makes it a bit easier.

I was bummed to see FreakofNature take a permanent hiatus. Anyone remember him? He had the wildest stories. They were interesting to say the least. You know his last post did mention something about what you would say to your first love if given the chance...or something like that. Maybe he reconnected with his. That'd be a happy ending, huh?

Hemingway I have good news on the bowling front. Yeah, without even typing another word, you know the outcome. My team won the championship against the team that defeated us last week. It was a pretty exciting match, even though I had a bit of a headache. Maybe it was the stress of the situation. I didn't bowl my best series but I held my own and managed to claim the victory. I think this is my team's first victory. I can't remember actually winning the whole season except the one time I was in another league. Ohhh..and maybe that time three years ago. Hemingway.

Suze Orman cracks my shit up. I was thinking about her finance show on CNN, I think. Her incessant "girlfriend" speak was hilarious, even though after a while it got irritating. "Oh my god, girlfriend, what are you thinking...", "Here's what you need to do girlfriend..." "Girlfriend..." Girlfriend this, girlfriend that.

As I listened to her, I was thinking most of the callers who call her financial show probably aren't thrilled by her "girlfriend" speak. Actually it may not be the "girlfriend" speak, so much as she comes across a bit condescending.

It's like, forgive those callers for not being as financially astute as Suze. Not everyone has the vast knowledge that only Suze can share.

But she does serve a purpose, though. She's a one-woman powerhouse and definitely a hot commodity. Girlfriend got it going on.

My sister Trina's birthday is next Sunday. After work today, I stopped at Big Lots (shut-up...*LOL*) and Target in search of a birthday gift and a housewarming gift. I did mention that she bought a house with her boyfriend. So I managed to find both gifts. So that's cool.

So yeah, I'm taking a roadtrip to Detroit this weekend. My goal is to leave by 8AM. We'll see.

I plan on stopping at her place of employment before swinging by my folks. She works in retail so yeah, she works weekends. Trina doesn't always visit my parents and I figure this will be the only chance I'll get to see her. I felt a bit bad because I wanted to see her place over the Christmas holiday but didn't. I didn't have a car and I was too lazy to unlock the garage to go out the one night she was available.

I've disappointed Trina one too many times I think so I'm hoping the gifts will serve as peace offerings. I do love Trina, even if she may not make the best choices. But who am I to talk? Vince, Aaron, Chad, that one guy I didn't blog about, that other guy I didn't blog about, next? *LOL*.

I'm so excited to see my favorite cats again too. Yeah right...*LOL*. I hope they don't have fleas again.

As soon as I finish posting this (and repost it for any spelling or syntax errors I'll inevitably will have...*LOL*), I'm going to double check my tax information and e-file it. At least I'm getting my taxes done on time this year. The money's already spent sadly. I want to get new hardwood floors for my 1st floor. I need to get estimates and stuff. Hopefully I'll get a couple when I get back in town.

Anyone get new flooring done? How much did it cost? I have about 675 square feet to cover.

You know...today was Good Friday. I sinned today in terms of eating meat. I unwisely made a large batch of spaghetti and meatballs on Wednesday that I needed to finish before leaving town. So I bought some for lunch at the job today and yesterday. For dinner tonight, I had leftover Flattop Grill food from a date I had yesterday (after kicking ass in bowling, no less...*LOL*). Yeah I had a date...again. With another guy I've chatted with for a few days this week. I'm not ready to talk about Justin yet.

Oh yeah...it was my nine year anniversary at the job. One more year to go. I may have to stay a lil longer, though, since ten is considered a milestone year (any increment of 5 is) and Deidre and I are plotting to have a joint lunch. The company gives milestone anniversary employees a lunch where you can invite the same number of people as the years in the company. Since we know some common people, we're hoping to be able to invite other folks. But we are talking about Deidre here, so we'll see. *LOL*.

I hope you all have a great Easter weekend. I'll be back Monday. PEACE!

Like Dreamers Do

TV news land has been abuzz with excitement over the line-up shake-ups. Katie Couric and Meredith Vieira are moving on to greener and richer pastures. Katie moves on to CBS and will be taking over the CBS Evening News. She's reportedly netting a cool $15 million dollars a year. Whether she fits in at CBS remains to be seen.

Taking Katie's spot is Meredith Vieira. There's wild speculation on some of the message boards over who'll take over Meredith's old spot. The biggest rumor was that either Patricia Heaton (pop-up warning) or Kathie Lee Gifford would replace Meredith. Other names that were tossed included Jillian Barberie, Connie Chung, Vanessa L. Wililams, and Lisa Rinni. Speculation runs rampant.

Personally I think the show should be canned. Eight seasons of that dreck is long enough. Baba Wawa needed to retire like last year. Elizabeth Hasselback is a non-entity. Joy Behar can be funny at times but a comedianne alone a newshow not makes. The less said about Star Jones (heh...I've already said too much), the better. Her star would fall so fast once that show gets dumped.

I myself am getting closer to moving on to greener pastures. My nine year anniversary with my company is coming up soon and I vowed to leave after my tenth. It's a dream right now but I'm doing all I can to make it a reality. I'm not gonna be netting a multi-million deal like the tv personalities but I'm hoping to make a living doing what I love best....trading stocks.

I've realized for the last couple years that I haven't been happy in my present position. I'm longing to be my own boss. Reading Ms. Holiday's Savvy Sunday on a Monday post motivated me even more towards that goal.

Life is about taking risks, albeit calculated ones. With the exception of my crazy love life, I've always played the cautious card when coming to my livelihood. There's something comforting about knowing that you're guaranteed to get a paycheck every two weeks (aside from the lack of job security these days...*LOL*).

I think psychologically for me, I've always felt like I had to be the stable one in the family. I pretty much took the conventional path to get to where I'm at today. I went straight to college from high school. I completed my degree in four and a half years and got the job relating to my major months before graduation. I've been on the same career path for over a decade.

But it's definitely time for a change.

I don't really care for the 9 to 5 route anymore. I've done as much as I want to do with my degree. I want to branch out beyond the security. I realize that staying where I am now, no matter how much money I make, won't give me the freedom both physically and financially that I crave. Companies will always give you just enough to live on and maybe get a new toy or two. But nothing more.

I don't want to jump into daytrading waters lightly. Research and knowledge is definitely important. That's why I'm giving myself a year to get my act together to prepare myself for the next phase of my life. I'm educating myself via books and message boards about stocks. I'm learning that it's definitely not as easy as I think. (Well I guess my previous trades should tell me that...*LOL*) But nothing you want ever is! But it'll be oh so worth it.

Hemingway.

In case you haven't read Ms. Holiday's blog, this week marks her last week in blogland. She's been at it for well over a year, describing the experience among other things as her longest relationship. Heh...I acknowledge that it's my longest relationship too.

I'm definitely going to miss reading about her experiences. She'll leave behind, however, a rich vestibule of knowledge that can be read over and over. The girl with the heart of platinum is moving on to her own greener pastures. Adieu, fair maiden.

246, My Eye

Forgive the silly title. I was thinking about seeing my favorite musical movie Chicago on TNT a few months ago at a friend's and tripping out during the Cell Block Tango chorus. The lovely "six merry murderesses of Cook county" were doing their spiel. They came up to Miss Six's (ok Annie's) part and after going on about how Ezekiel Young claimed to be single but had six wives, I was waiting for her to say, "Single, my ass!" But the editors at TNT changed it to "Single, my eye!" That gave me quite the WTF moment. So since I experienced a WTF moment last night, I thought I'd incorporate that feeling into my title.

Hemingway I remember it like it was yesterday. Oh yeah, it was yesterday! Hemingway it was bowling night and position night. Okay, you all know from the gist of my post that my team didn't win the 2nd half finals, so I'll spare ya'll the blow by blow details. But my performance was so particularly horrid, I found it amazing that just two weeks earlier I bowled my best series ever. If someone saw me bowl and I told them I bowled a 246 once, they'd give me the WTF look.

You know, maybe if Teebee and I actually met this week, it would've given me the motivation I needed. Heh...I'm just kidding. But TeeBee was in town this week. We had a great conversation but unfortunately our schedules didn't mesh. Have you all seen her new headshots? Girlfriend is even hotter, if that's possible...:-)

So Hemingway we're bowling the same team next week and battling out for winners of the season. One thing I can say, typically after a bad week, I usually bowl better. So maybe I can get it together before then.

This morning my car celebrated a milestone of sorts. It turned the big 100000 on my way to work. The exact time of the change...10:00AM. (No I'm not a banker...*LOL*) 10:00 and 100000...cool. I was listening to Mariah Carey's Say Something at the time. Speaking of Say Something, I can't wait until that video finally hits the airwaves. It's my favorite song off of her smash CD Emancipation of Mimi. Ms. Holiday's interview with Mariah/Mimi still cracks me up. Oh my gosh...I'm off on such a tangent.

Back to the car...okay. So I even called Eugene on my way to the job to have him share the momentous occasion. But he had an important call he needed to make around the 99994 mile and had to go. Asshole...*LOL*.

So I shared the moment with Sally later during my lunch break at 1:50 PM. She called me actually during my conference call on my cell in regards to Madonna's upcoming concert at United Center June 14th. They went on sale today. We were trying to get the cheapest tickets but she wound up finding out that the cheapest available at the time was $175 a pop.

I almost had a heart attack. (Thank God for the mute button...*LOL*) She was willing to pay but wanted to make sure I was okay with paying that much. Sally's a big Madonna fan and I knew it'd mean a lot to her to see the show. And you know, the last concert I went to was Janet Jackson's Velvet Rope in 2001 or 2002 (it's been a while...*LOL*), so I told her it was cool. She then threw another monkeywrench and said she forgot her credit card and wondered if I could get the tickets. Normally I would've but you know I was in a conference call and actually had to step back into it at different times whenever I needed to give an update. So since Sally is one of the few people I really trust in my life (we've been friends for almost twelve years), I gave her my credit card info so she could get the tickets.

I'm looking forward to the show actually. It was nice too that Sally wanted to see Madonna with me.

You know, I forgot. Weren't Mariah Carey and Madonna feuding? Imagine me mentioning them both in the same post. Mariah vs. Madonna. Here at my blog. Okay I'm being silly. Hemingway.

TGIF ya'll!

The Big "Iffy" Post

If - Janet Jackson

If I was your girl
Oh the things I'd do to you
I'd make you call out my name
I'd ask who it belongs to
If I was your woman
The Things I'd do to you
But I'm not
So I can't
Then I won't
But if I was your girl

Well I had the opportunity to pretend I was a girl and much more thanks to ProfessorGQ. He gave a lot of fellow bloggers that same opportunity. Unless they were girls already, then they became boys. Or something like that. Hemingway let's get this Q&A show on the road.

If you were to be the opposite sex for one day, what would you do?

Sing "My Humps" and have random dudes admire my lovely lady lumps all day. But they best not touch, they don't wanna start no drama.



If you had to name the most difficult thing about being a teenager today, what would you say?

I would honestly say trying to maintain your individuality while every other teenager is trying to conform with the majority. That's like so not chill.

If you had to name the most embarrassing moment of your life, when was it?

The most embarrassing? So many moments come to mind. But if I had to pick one, there was that one time when I was walking home from school on a wintery afternoon and I slipped on a piece of ice and fell flat on my back. A few people saw and I got my bruised ass up so fast, it wasn't evem funny.

If you had to name the most overrated actor in Hollywood, who would it be?

Hmmm....Tom Cruise, most definitely.

If you had to name the one personality trait that you have tried the hardest to change in yourself, what would you say?

Being too laidback. There are others but the question only asked for one...*LOL*.

If you could go back for one minute to the Garden of Eden and give Adam advice, what would you say?

I wish you could've listened to Paula Abdul's Cold-Hearted. Maybe you'd have been better prepared for the snake.

If you were to name the best "I told you so" you ever got to deliver, what was it?

It was the time I told Tasha that a boy in her class was a porn star and I saw his face on a video cover. She refused to believe me until she saw him for herself one day when she, umm, stumbled upon someone's collection. *LOL*

If you were Madonna, what would you do for your next publicity stunt?

It would involve cookie dough ice-cream, a vat of leeches, and Cyndi Lauper.

If you could have a lifetime 50% discount in any single store at your local mall, which store would it be in?

EB Games

If you could have one more pet, what kind would you get, and what would you name it?

A goldfish and I'd name it Goldie.



If you could have God perform one miracle today, what would you want it to be?

Remove all the petty shit my immediate family have arguments over.

If you could spend next New Year's Eve doing anything, what would you do, and with whom.

I really enjoyed my last New Year's Eve & day so I'd probably want to spend it the same way and with the same company.

If you were to set your country's immigration policy, what would it be?

What ProfessorGQ said.

If you were given the power to settle the issue of gays in the military, what policy would you set?

I think 'Don't ask, don't tell' works for me.

If you could have one person you have lost touch with call you up tonight and invite you to dinner, who would you want it to be?

Definitely Karamale. Oh wait, did we actually have to converse before to have lost touch? We've chatted multiple times. But it could've all been in my head...*LOL*.

If you could change one thing about your love life, what would it be?

Have a dude willing to do whatever it takes to never quit me.

If you could have prevented one book from ever having been written, which book would it be?

On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of 'Straight' Black Men Who Sleep with Men by J. L. King, only because he's an opportunistic pig.

If you have to name the best music album ever recorded, which would you select?

Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation 1814.

If you could have one thing made out of pure gold, what would you choose?

My college diploma.

If God were to whisper one thing in your ear, what would you like Him to say?

"You've touched the lives of many folks with the way you lived your life. Eternal life is yours...unless you want what's in Door #2."

----------------------------------------------------------

P.S...my bowling finals is later today. We need all three games to pull 1st place for the 2nd half. Wish me luck.

Working That Date Out

Musical Interlude....

You can't keep a good brotha down either. At least not for long. I somehow managed to line myself a date last Saturday on Saturday no less. It started off with a hit from that, umm site. Yeah I know the last fifty or so dates I've had there led to something... oh so much greater. Not! But hey, it's quick and easy and I needed a quick pick me up.

So Hemingway this dude hit me up telling me that frottage is good. Hold up! Back it up! For the squeamish at heart, you may want to skip this post. (But leave a comment Hemingway..*LOL*) For the rest of you.....

Ok, so did I say the f-word? I think I did. Okay, confession time ya'll (that ya'll was for you Karamale...*LOL*)! I've come to the conclusion that sexual intercourse isn't all it's cracked up to be. I mean, for gay bottom guys there's that whole preparation down there. I mean you definitely don't wanna be messy while getting plowed. You know crap comes out of there too. And as much as some dudes like to call their anus, their pussy (which I never understood and it irks me when guys that sex me call it that), an anus is not a vagina. It doesn't matter what you heard on the street.

So now that we've established that. I crave the intimacy shared with a guy more. I get off on the kissing, body massaging, hot wax...err, aspects of sex. In other words, foreplay. But sometimes you still wanna get a nut. That's where frottage comes in. I've been curious about this form of sexual pleasure for a minute but trying to find like-minded individuals has been like searching for gold in a pot of urine. Okay, that was bad...:-)

Hemingway Timbaland caught my attention when mentioning the f-word in his response. So we exchanged emails and eventually IMs. We were chatting for a bit and soon exchanged numbers. Timbaland has a few extra pounds on his 6"2 frame and didn't have a picture on his profile. But he mentioned that he's been going to the gym five days last week and was planning on going Saturday afternoon. For some reason, I was curious about Timbaland since I do tend to like my guys bigger (maybe because they make me look smaller...*LOL*) so I did the unprecedented. I made a date to meet him at Bally's. Of course he worked out at the one in River West, which was a 50 minute trek for me, but I was like, what the hey! I sorta took a bit of a vacation from Bally's and needed an incentive. He claimed a bunch of hot muscle brothas worked out at this particular gym. That was enough incentive for me.

So I packed my gym bag and after trying to find all my necessities, including my recently won I-Pod, I headed for the CTA. Yeah I decided to train it to the city. I somehow hopped on the wrong color and ended up a bit further away from the Bally's then I anticipated. I exited the green line on Lake & Clinton. I walked five blocks to Wells street, where the Bally's was on. But little did I know I had another eight blocks to go to reach the River West Bally's.

Timbaland was already forty minutes into his workout by the time I arrived. Since I had my cardio for the day, I decided to work my abs, chest, and arms (all of which are still sore now). I caught my first viewing of Timbaland from a distance doing ab work before changing to my clothes. From a distance, I thought he didn't look bad and he was really tall and thick.

I got a closer look at him after changing and heading towards the chest machines. Unfortunately his face didn't do much for me. I usually rank face higher than body. A guy doesn't have to have the perfect body but face is really critical. If he's not what I consider handsome, then odds are I won't be interested.

But I'm not flaky that I would leave in the middle of a date, especially one where my body gets some benefits out of it (in a non-sexual way ya'll...*LOL*). So we finished our workout and I hopped in his ride, a 2000 Lincoln something, and drove around the city.

I learned that Timbaland graduated from law school at Northwestern years back and currently worked in contract law for the City of Chicago. I sorta laughed a bit because the annoying hip white dude I wrote about in my last post works in the contracts group at my job.

Timbaland asked me what I was in the mood for regarding dinner. I told him I was flexible. I mentioned Italian, Indian, American. I told him I was down for whatever. Heh.

So we drove around downtown. It looked like he was looking for a parking spot but nothing really turned up. He finally pulled up inside the garage of 900 North Michigan. Believe or not, I've never had the pleasure of shopping (I mean window shopping...*LOL*) there. So we parked in May and took the elevator to August. In other words, the fifth floor and eighth floor.

So we walked past a bunch of siditty (I think I spelled that right...*LOL*) shops before taking the escalator down to Tucci Benucch, a fancy italian restaurant inside the mall. We were seated conveniently in the middle of a long row of tables surrounded by a family and some family.

Dinner was cool. I ordered some Shrimp Limone while he had a half-chicken with potatoes dish. I ordered a calamari appetizer to share with Timbaland. The calamari was good but it wasn't no Maggiano's...:-) We ended up sharing an apple pie a la mode type dessert.

After dinner, Timbaland was nice enough to drop me back to my car. I gave him a quick kiss on the lips before parting.

It was a cool date. He seemed nice. I ain't saying nothing more about it...*LOL*.

One Year Later

Can you believe my one year blog anniversary is today? It kinda snuck up on me. 159 posts later (including this one), I'm still breathing. 525,600 minutes (527,040 if it's a leap year) of life written in these pages. My highs and lows all documented.

From time to time I read my older posts and marvel about the things that I've experienced in the last year. The cool thing is that I have most of it documented so hopefully years from now when I wanna recall what I did in 2005 on any given period, I can easily recall it.

I still cringe recalling how my co-workers supposedly got to hear my singing voice in the office. It turned out the idiots were hearing the sounds of my MP3 player more. So I have to endure hearing all the loud people around me without my music. The contracts people sitting in the next row are so loud and annoying, especially this new dude that they hired a few months back that's trying a bit too hard to be the hip white dude. Hemingway!

I laugh a bit as I recall my first visit to the United Center with Sally to watch the Bulls. All the inadvertent drama I was in with her thuggish boyfriend, who really didn't want to be her boyfriend because of his issues, was a trip. I don't know if Sally still talks to him or not. Months ago she told me that he was a lot calmer and at peace since she's encouraged him to read the Bible.

Occasionally I would blather about serious topics such as the rising gas prices. It still amazes me how I feel better paying $2.25 a gallon then $2.60 a gallon when two years back $1.80 reined supreme. And I feel real ancient because I remember 99 cent gas too.

And who can forget all the good dates gone asshole I've experienced last year. I can officially add Chad to that list too. The fool basically stopped contacting me after our date two Fridays ago. It's definitely his loss. I hope Stringy strings him some more. Actually I wish him well. As I said, he has lots of issues to work through and he probably did me a huge favor by choosing to drop out of my life. I fortunately didn't fall too deep (well let's say as deep...*LOL*) with his ass.

It's a wonder as Ms. Holiday commented in that entry that I'm not as jaded by all the disappointing experiences I've had with guys. Aside from the imbecile thing (*LOL*...ok I know I'm not.), I think I've been blessed with treating each guy I meet as a new experience. I try not to label all men as jerks and penalize them for the previous guy's hang-ups (until they quickly prove to me otherwise...*LOL*). Maybe one day I'll get it right.

Whether I do or not, I'll share it all with my blog family. There's so many of the fellow bloggers out there I enjoy reading. It's like having an extended family. I enjoy reading everyone's experiences and look forward to reading more in the future. Thanks to everyone who has read and commented on my entries. Your thoughts mean a lot to me.

Hemingway I'm looking forward to the reunion special tonight on Flavor of Love. I don't know if it's gonna be that good since they waited three weeks after the finale to air it but they seem to be focusing on Pumkin and New York (who lost weight) in the previews. I'm so there.

Of course Hoopz drop kicked Flav immediately after the completion of the taping. I think we all knew she wasn't into Flav (can we blame her...*LOL*).

So that's how I plan on spending my Sunday.

Here's to another year of blogging!