Friday, March 09, 2007

Winds Of Change A-Howling

Thursday morning was like any other typical morning. I was killing time online and chatting with Eugene before heading off to work. Hemingway before leaving for work, I decided to check my answering machine. I have this bad habit of letting messages pile up on the machine before checking it. I'm overdue for changing my lan number and actually my phone service. I'm currently debating between Comcast and Vonage. I'm leaning towards the latter since Comcast already gets all (okay..seemingly all) my money in cable and internet.

Hemingway I check my messages and between the mostly junk messages, I have two real messages. One of them is from my younger sister Trina. She was just calling to see how I was doing. That may mean that she's finally visited Mama and Papa and the former probably was inquiring about me. I have this bad habit of forgetting to check in periodically with my folks. You see, a lot of times I feel like we're just "polite strangers" and I occasionally need the break from all the bitching and moaning. I have enough on my plate to bitch and moan about...:-)

The other message was from Charles. He was basically calling to find out if he could shack with me from March to end of April. He sounded a bit serious when he was talking. I know that he's been staying in Chicago a lot more now. I'm assuming the company is requiring him to stay longer and not commute to his new home as much. You'll remember (or not..that's why I provide the links...*LOL*) that he stayed at my place for a little over a month during the summer of 2004. For the most part it was amicable, though there was that one issue when he discovered the link to a gay website I visited because I forgot to clear my cache. We never really talked about it since I brushed it aside. But it didn't really bother him because he asked in November 2005 if he could stay again. I made up an excuse why he couldn't stay that time.

This leads to my present predicament. I've been thinking about it all day and even mulled it over with my boys (that'd be Eugene and Rock). Hilariously enough, both asked me if I talked to the other about it and what they thought. They do that a lot with different things I talk about. Another thing they have in common...*LOL*.

I do need to return Charles's call. I'm assuming since March is already underway, he may have some alternative worked out. But nonetheless I don't want to seem like I'm avoiding him and me not getting the message till a week later (he doesn't know that) sends that message loud and clear to him.

The way I see it, there's three options I can go with.

  1. I can tell him no again. If I were to go with this option, I would have to come up with another excuse. I still remember how I mentioned my folks may drop by for a bit and how he still was trying to make it work. Yeah he's a riot. Saying no, though, would make me feel like an asshole. We work in different offices but there are occasions when we see each other. One such occasion is coming up later this month. It would potentially be quite awkward. It has been over a year since he last asked me. I know if he's doing the hotel thing that this option can get expensive over time. The reason he's sticking it out with the company is because he's close to early retirement age and he would have his health care covered for life once he hits it, which would be in another four years. Plus he's offered to pay me again and I know he'd be good for it.
  2. I could tell him yes and pretend to live the hetero life. You see what good that got me last time. Plus now I'm in a relationship and that would totally be unfair to Rock. It'd be one thing if he was asking to stay a week but beyond a week, things could get hairy. There's no way I could keep the facade that long.
  3. I could tell him yes but give him full disclosure. This would mean telling him the basics about me. I mean, he doesn't need to know my entire sexual history....*LOL*. It would give him the option to decide whether he could deal with it. Obviously though, he must not have an issue since he's asked me before and he's made it clear that he'd like to go into some financial ventures with me in the future.
Of course thinking about my situation with Charles makes me think about being honest with my family. Over the holidays, my Mom made a comment that I never invite them over to my place. She even wondered if someone else was living there. I think the fact that she said "someone" means that she's still on some level trying to confirm her suspicions about me. I think for my own peace of mind that I need to let the cat out of the bag.

I did say 2007 was gonna be the year. Guess I wasn't that far off.

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Blogger That Dude Right There said...

Just keep the thing with Charles cut and dry. Think about what you want. If you don't want him there, tell him so. If he asked why, tell him the truth. If he is mature, he should understand. If he isn't, then that's his problem.

10:28 AM, March 09, 2007  
Blogger Ladynay said...


You did say you was gonna free yourself in 07.

7:19 AM, March 12, 2007  
Blogger Rose said...

I totally agree.

11:20 PM, March 15, 2007  
Blogger taylorSiluw√© ..... said...

E ...

first off, hello again. i've been gone for awhile but things have been crazy for me too. nice to be back in your crazy world.

second, i'd have to go with option #3. its really the only way to true peace of mind. in most cases, when we finally let the cat out of the bag, we find that its presence in the bag was hardly a secret (cats don't like bags, and make quite a fuss).

and just think of the riveting posts your gonna make after all the stress of secrecy is removed. remember, you have the right to live your life freely just like everyone else on the planet. plus, you'll get to know who's really in your corner and who's not.

good luck bro ....

8:59 AM, March 18, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you can't come out and say it like a man then what your hiding is not worth holding on.

9:33 PM, March 18, 2007  

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