Monday, March 26, 2007

Winds Of Change A-Pushing

I recently blogged about Charles wanting to move in my basement for a couple of months. I mulled over the options that I ultimately came up with and went back and forth on saying no with an excuse or saying yes with full disclosure. I went back and forth in my mind the pros and cons of each choice and got caught in something we techies call "analysis paralysis". In other words, I was getting so caught up in thinking of all the possibilities that I wound up not making a choice. Enough time had passed that I figured Charles would move on and find another target.

But Charles was not to be denied. He called me last Friday as I was preparing for my weekend trip to Detroit. That trip in itself was emotionally draining at times. But I'll blog about that another time.

So he left me another message. By the tone of his message, he pretended as if he didn't leave the last one and basically was asking now if he could stay the months of April and May. To ensure that I got the message, he added the caveat of me telling Deidre that he was unable to attend the bowling event scheduled for this past weekend due to having to fly back home.

Charles was forcing my hand once again.

I was mulling over pros and cons of my two options again. Eugene and Rock were equally divided. Eugene I sensed wanted me to say yes with disclosure. I mentioned that Charles is originally from Trinidad & Tobago. Once I mentioned that, Eugene pointed out that foreign blacks were more likely to treat their friends as family and he felt Charles would offer me his place if I were ever in a jam. Eugene is biased a bit against American black men who he feels only are in pursuit of their own selfish gratification. It's a long story...:-)

Rock I sensed wanted to say no with an excuse. Rock questioned why Charles was sweating me. He even thought that Charles may be somewhat attracted to me. He added that whatever I decide, he'd stand by me. But whenever he says that, I can tell he wants me to lean towards his way.

So they weren't much help. Ultimately I was playing ping-pong with my choices. One minute I said no (I didn't wanna see Charles picking his nose while chatting with me and leaving the boogers on my walls.), the next minute I was saying yes (I could use the cash). Just when I was leaning towards yes (I'd only see him at most two or three hours a day), I chose no again (I value my privacy.)

I knew I couldn't avoid Charles much longer. So I called him this evening. By then I was leaning towards no. We did the whole small talk thing and eventually Charles got down to business. I started by saying that I had a lot of things going on in my life. Charles cut me off (probably cause he was sensing where I was going) by telling me that he understood and that to let him know by the end of the week.

He then was trying to bolster his case by saying that he would be out of my hair most weekends, which would give me time to do "my thing". Hmmm...*LOL*.

Towards the end of our conversation, he was pointing out how shocked he was to learn about Deidre's marriage. She had kept the marriage secret from a number of folks with everyone only finding out after the fact. He was saying that it was almost as good of a secret as his own marriage. Of course reading between the lines, I sensed he was saying I know you got a secret too E. But I could be reading too much into it. I doubt it, though.

So I mull again. I have until the end of the week to let him know something. If I decide on no again, I need to say it quickly and not beat around the bush. *LOL*.

Labels: ,


Blogger Soldier said...

say NO now E, say no now...
If you were ok with it you wouldnt have felt spent the past 3 decades thinking about it.
You know the cash he's gonna give you is gonna be used for one of your speeding tickets anyway !! lol
But since you WILL NOT GET ANY OF THOSE anymore, u dont need the cash. neither do u need or uprivacy to be invaded

no... no.... no...

7:11 PM, March 27, 2007  
Blogger Ladynay said...

Soldier has a point. If you really felt it was okay you would have said yeah by now.

Trust yourself.

7:04 AM, March 28, 2007  
Blogger That Dude Right There said...

It seems like your biggest issue is him knowing your business. And on top of that, you don't know how to say no without feeling guilty.

It's pretty simple. If you DO NOT want him to stay, then say NO. If you think having him there is not going to seriously impact your life, then say yes.

I think that God is trying to tell you something. What that is, I don't know.

3:35 PM, March 28, 2007  

Post a Comment

<< Home