Thursday, January 17, 2008

What He Didn't Say

Originally this weekend the plan was to spend part of the weekend hanging out at Rock's. His friend Regine was also planning to come up this weekend. Things were set to go into motion until Rock suggested possibly holding off on the trip due to the bitter cold temperatures. He said that Regine herself may not come. So he wanted to put the plans up in the air.

To tell you the truth (sucky weather aside), I didn't really think weather should be that much of a factor. I hate the bitter cold but if I have to go somewhere, I'll kick and scream but would deal with it. But when Rock makes up his mind about something, it's very hard to change it. His concern was that with the bitter cold (he's thinking it could be -20 wind chill), he doesn't want my car to stall.

I wasn't really feeling his concern but I wasn't really up to arguing about it. You know my whole peace loving, non-confrontational personality. So for now, whether I come up or not Friday night is on hold.

I told Eugene about this and of course he sees things differently. He immediately told me there's a lie somewhere in Rock's story. He doesn't believe the bitter cold is enough to stop someone from driving to see someone. He especially questions it since I have a new car.

He again expressed that Rock seems to continue to "dictate" when we see each other. Plus he doesn't like that Rock puts the plan on hold, which forces me not to make alternative plans (not that I have any...yet...*LOL*).

The one thing about Eugene is that as much as I hate to admit it, he forces me to not take everything at face value. I was a bit pissy at Eugene but thinking about it, maybe there is more to the story than what Rock is letting on. His intuition about things is very uncanny.

Rock has been in the funkiest of moods for the last two weeks. He just seemed to be so flippant about everything. He's told me in the past how much he doesn't feel the guy that his friend Ned is with is the right one for him. Basically Ned has a passion for thuggish like men, which his boyfriend NDrama is. Apparently he finally laid it on the line with Ned on his true feelings for NDrama. What did it was Ned asking Rock why he can't get NDrama and Rude Dude to get along (For more background on these characters, check out my entry "That Couple".). Rock has told Ned in the past that you can't force people to get along with each other. So he told Ned that and also told him to stop picking up strays (which is actually kind of mean). So of course Ned was pissed off.

Also Regine and Rock have had their arguments recently. One of the biggest issues between them is how Regine is all "I'm queer, I'm here, get used to it" while Rock is more discreet. Regine always tells Rock that he needs to be honest about his sexuality with his family and work. Rock's argument is that he lives in Rockford (not exactly the most progressive city) and admitting to being gay would be career and personal suicide.

Apparently Regine's attitude has played a role in the conflict she's currently experiencing with her long-term partner. Rock confided that one issue was that Regine wanted to display a gay flag (I'm not sure if it was a bumper sticker of a flag or a mini-flag) in the back of their car. The concern her partner Usha has is that someone may see the flag and decide to vandalize the car. Rock took Usha's side on that particular issue and of course all hell broke loose.

Which brings me to a possible reason Rock may really not want me to come up this weekend. (I wouldn't even be speculating if it weren't for Eugene.) Hemingway Rock has expressed concern about Regine leaving her car in his driveway when she comes up. He has the same vandalism concerns. One reason he may not want me there is that maybe he doesn't want me caught in the middle between Regine and him. Another reason could be that he fears something may happen to my car by default since I would also be parked outside.

I'm also not sure Regine would let a little thing like cold weather stop her from going where she needs to go. I could possibly see her feeling lazy about the long drive since she lives on the South Side of Chicago, but that's about it.

So there you have it. I don't know whether this weekend will happen or if I even should confront Rock on my suspicions. The thing is I feel like if I do it'll be saying to him that I don't trust him. And I do trust him.

But I do feel better letting it all out....:-)

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Blogger HisLoveCoversMe said...

Interesting, Very interesting.

9:57 PM, January 17, 2008  
Blogger Cocoa Rican said...

sounds like a lot of shit...most of the storylines center around you giving up your power to others...or maybe that's just the take I get on this end...either way, offer to see Rock when YOU want to see him and see what comes of it...if he declines, make other plans and be sure to keep yourself busy and have your own minimizes the anxiety when Rock decides to go into one of his h-phobic for Euegene...does he have a man? Careful...although he may have your back, single, no-man bitches have a way of fucking up your shit...misery loves company...don't start doubting your man's intentions...and if you have questions - ASK YOUR MAN. As for the girl, her flag, etc... I live in NYC and still know that ignorance is everywhere...therefore, I don't need to give fools a reason to bash my car. It has less to do with pride and more to do with common sense. Have the proud lesbo wear a rainbow least she has more control over the fools...whew...I feel better...LOL

9:56 AM, January 18, 2008  
Blogger Cash S. said...

Um yeah, sounds like there's more to the story.

And Cocoa is right, friends can definitely mess up your situation.

11:57 AM, January 18, 2008  
Blogger Harold Gibson said...

E one thing you can count on. I do not give romantic advice especially to sgl couples. What I like is your ability to depict a situation so clearly. I often feel like I am in your shoes as I read your blog. Thanks for sharing and for reminding your readers that nothing is all black or white and the devil is in the sea of grayness.

3:56 AM, January 20, 2008  
Blogger That Dude Right There said...

I'm with Harold on this one, I do give advice to couples since i'm single.

But with Eugene, I know he's your best friend, but damn! Does he ever have anything encouraging to say when it comes your relationship with Rock?

1:59 PM, January 21, 2008  
Blogger BuddahDesmond said...

I don't give advice unless someone specifically asks me for it. I'm usually the one people come to when they need to vent. Even in this event, I will not offer advice unless asked. I usually follow up my advice by saying, "Regardless of what I say, you still have to do what's best for you." Cause I don't want anyone blaming me and my advice for making their situation worse. This is one of those situations where you've got to go with your gut. Intuition rarely leads you astray. Like Hislovecovers me says, this was very interesting....

12:01 AM, January 29, 2008  
Blogger yet another black guy said...

it still sounds like Eugene doesn't like Rock. whether or not Rock changes plans is really not Eugenes' business to get mad over. it's yours. if you're not happy with it, then you should at least bring it up.

just because you're peace loving doesn't mean you shouldn't air your grievances. at the very least, Rock will respect you.

10:43 PM, February 05, 2008  

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