Stiffed Like Wood

Heartbreaker (Remix) - Mariah Carey f. Missy and Da Brat

[Mariah]
Verse 1
Boy your love's so good
I don't wanna let go
No no
I should
I can't leave you alone
'Cause your soul is haunting me
Caught up in the midst of you
And I cannot resist
At all

Boy if I do
The things you want me to
The way I used to do
Would you love me baby
Holding me fellin me
Is what you know to break my heart

Refrain
Heartbreaker you've got the best of me
But I just keep on comin' back incessantly
Oh why did you have to run your game on me
I should have known right from the start
You'd go and break my heart

Give me some real love,
Need someone to give me some real love,
Need someone to give me some real love,
Need someone to give me some real love

[Da Brat]
rap
If Da Brat gave a fuck about a nigger
My heart would be broke
Should have know you were star struck when I left you so
I gave you my heart and you broke it again
I'm a fool when you smile at me I'm convinced
I get caught up in you when I just can't resist
I know you lie to me
It just drives me nuts
This one kiss could persuade me to believe your bluffs
You set it up impressin me with gifts and rings
I wish love was dollars cuz money ain't a thing
Cuz when I think of MC blew the party
I got a ready to play somebody
Is that tell me you
Is that for each member of my crew
With that I'm gonna heartbreak you
Now you flat on your back
You really don't know
So I'd advise you not to trust me yo

[Missy Elliot:]
rap
Baby, I'm the real thang
So what ya got me sweatin you consistantly baby
Baby, I got the good thing
So why you makin love to me you crazy baby

I like the way he used to spank me
He used to lie me on my back take that
He used to have me in the sac legs back?
But now he be buggin lately
Hey boy why you actin stinky
I keep it stiff like wood baby
So if you wanna keep a good lady
You need to stop with all the heart breaking

Funny how much I prefer the remix over the original. I actually bought her Heartbreaker CD and the remix song is the only one I listen to. The lack of decent songs turned me off to Mariah forever....until she became Mimi.

So Hemingway VH1spot has Episode 1 of I Love New York online. So you know I watched it. I got a glimpse of the only fine guy in the bunch and New York nicknamed him Wood. His nickname reminded me of Heartbreaker and Missy's rap where she says she keeps it stiff like wood baby.

I Love New York is a hot mess. As a fan of New York's crazy antics, I'm totally looking forward to having my own front seat to this trainwreck. Lots of people were too, judging by the various message boards and blogs dedicated to all that is Flavor of Love. Based on photos of the 20 men that were leaked out, I was predicting that the one hottie would go far in the show.

Boy was I wrong! He got eliminated in the first ceremony. His downfall was admitting that he was on another reality tv show. It was a show Mr. Randy Ritchwood actually won called Mr. Romance. This show, which premiered on Oxygen in 2005, is ten kinds of cheese. You don't believe me. Check out the clips within Oxygen's Mr. Romance site. Cheesy. Then again Oxygen shows are all about the cheese. Except for The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency show. Season 2 begins January 10th. I'm so there.

But Hemingway...back to Mr. Wood.

I believe he won the honor of being featured on the cover of a future romance novel as well as other stuff. He admitted to New York to also be on a "talk show" he called Elimidate! Heh...anyone who watches reality TV knows that Elimidate! is the furthest thing from a talk show. Well there is banal banter for a few minutes that I suppose can loosely be called conversation. But a talk show...he needed to pull it out the other ear.

I suppose since Wood (the nickname New York gave him) is a fine chunk of man, he figured that he would get a pass based on his looks. And I have to admit, if I were New York, I would've waited until the half way mark before dumping him. He actually resembles Boris Kodjoe a bit. But he was definitely full of shit. But it's not like the rest of those man hoes are sincere. What's the big deal about being on too many reality tv shows anyway...this show included brings New York's reality tv count to three. Hypocrisy 101 if you ask me.

I mean, she kept "Mr. We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off To Have A Good Time cause I made other people billions with my ideas but was stupid enough not to be rich myself" guy over Wood. She kept bootleg fake preacher toting Anwar over Wood. She kept a hoodrat she nicknamed Chance over him. Oh wait...actually Chance could be her shining armor and speculation is he'll probably make final 3 at minimum.

Damn her for dropping my one piece of eye candy. Guess I'll have to settle for the Nick Lachey look alike. Nick Lachey does have a banging body and wasn't shy showing it off Episode 1. Or I can always check out Wood's nudes (where he gives new meaning to keeping it stiff like wood, baby), courtesy of FlavorofLoveBlogspot. He's Mr. Romance, alright.

I'll still watch the rest of the season. I mean, New York's Mom (if she really is that) steals the show already. I have a feeling she may be getting her a piece of man for herself. As for Chamo, New York's gay assistant, you just know he'll be caught making out with one of the guys. Fun mindless times indeed.