Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Fallen Star

"I was walking along Wall Street minding my own business. I was in a bit of a funk and thought the walk would do me some good.

The sky was quite menacing, threatening to send teardrops at any minute. I decided to duck into a local Mickey D's. Imagine my surprise when I saw Star Jones sitting in a corner of the restaurant. She looked a bit subdued. I noticed her boytoy jerk Jabari was nowhere to be seen. What a disappointment he turned out to be. He seemed to be looking for a sugardaddy. I didn't have no time for that. Hell, I need my own sugardaddy.

I guess I should've known, considering he worked for Star and well Star has a habit of latching on to needy man. (*COUGH* BIG GAY AL *COUGH*)

I was going to place my order when I heard Star call out to me."

"Yoo hoo. E. Come here a minute."

"Considering our past exchanges, I have to say I was a bit leery to be called out by her. But I was in a public place. I figured she wouldn't attack me in McDonald's of all places. So I walked over to her.

'What's up, Star?' I asked."

"I'm on top of the world E. As you saw in the show, I one-upped that biatch, not bitch, that's me a Babe In Total Control of Herself. The biatch is that Bawa Wawa. She is a Bitter Ingrateful Arrogant Toad with Crappy Hemmorhoids."

" 'Well....you should know about her hemmorhoids, seeing that you've kissed her ass for so long.' "

Star: "Fuck you."

E: "Damn...must we go there again. Hemingway I see you're full of clever acronyms still. So how did you one-up her?"

Star: "You didn't see the show?"

E: "Actually I did but I wasn't gonna give Star the satisfaction. So I said...'No I didn't.'"

Star (rolling her eyes): "Whatever. I decided to leave the show and announce it before that biatch had a chance to. I could tell the biatch was pissed."

E: " 'That's good for you Star.' "

: "Who does she think she is, bringing that fat cow Rosie to the show. A woman I hate. I guess I could say the writing was on the wall at that point. You know, you must've been clarivoyant not to print that interview we did. I was pissed off at first but now I realize you were looking out for my best interests. To think, I called that biatch an inspiration."

E: " 'Ummm, ok.' "

Star: "That old bitty is getting crazier by the day. Mark my words, that show will go down without my expert leadership."

" 'You know. I was gonna order a Big Mac...'"

Star: "The nerve of her. Does she know who I am? The public can't live without me just like I can't live without Mickey D's fries. Could you get me some more?"

E: " 'Umm, where's Al?' "

Star: "Oh him? He said something about needing to work out at the Y. He said he wanted to find some lost muscles."

E: " 'Umm, riiiggght.' "


"You know, as much as I longed for the day Star would be put in her place, I wasn't feeling too keen about her departure from the show. Like her or not, she was an important element to the show whenever she wasn't self-promoting. She accomplished quite a bit considering her past weight issues. I imagine she had to fight every step of the way to get to where she was. It was too bad she became a victim of her own ego. But in retrospect, I think it was wrong for Barbara Walters and the producers of the show to force her out the way they did. It wouldn't surprise me if part of Rosie's contract stated that Star shouldn't be part of the team.

I'm glad she at least one-upped them, which is what I'm convinced she did, by announcing her departure days before the so-called official announcement, which the press was saying to be sometime later in the week.

So you know what? I ordered Star some Mickey D fries and I wished her the best of luck in her career. I even sat with her while we bitched about the show and men.

Damn, I'm such a softie."



Blogger Virginia Slim said...

Wow! She's really leaving the show, and Rosie is coming on? I haven't watched The View is years. I wonder what she's going to do now. You remember when Star had that show... Judge and Jury I think it was called. What a mess! Have you ever met her in real life?

7:21 AM, June 28, 2006  
Blogger Cash S. said...

LOL you are so crazy. It will be interesting to see what she does next.

I think The View might lose some of its audience now that she and that other lady are gone. Rosie is kind of tired now (and a lesbian) so I don't think people will take to her that well (anymore). I wonder who will replace Star?

9:11 AM, June 28, 2006  
Blogger BuddahDesmond said...

LMAO!!! Well, I had the feeling it was going to happen. It was just a matter of when. I'm going to have to side with Star as well on this one.

I don't understand what Barbara Walters is so upset about. ABC, Barbara Walters and the other producers of The View knew they were wrong for how they conducted themselves throughout this whole ordeal. They knew since April that they were not going to renew Star's contract. And lied about it for months. They should just face facts - they forced her out and she acted accordingly. I can only begin to imagine what The View will be like now. I also wonder what's next on Star's agenda?

8:25 PM, June 28, 2006  
Blogger Soldier said...

LMAO for the third time !

You just love that woman

dontcha ?

9:30 PM, June 28, 2006  
Blogger NegroPino™ said...

Good for STAR!!!!!!!

8:56 AM, June 29, 2006  
Blogger Harold Gibson said...

I also feel bad about Star. The View will go down. Nobody wants to hear Rosie talk about her wife. Rosie better pick a page from Ellen's book and never remind us that she is a lesbian.

12:03 AM, June 30, 2006  
Blogger *Madosi said...


I wondered when you would have something to say about this...

I am sort of tired of hearing about this though!

10:41 AM, June 30, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Maurice said...

Damn i am so behind and need to start watching TV. what happened? I bet her not promoting a healthy body image lead to her dismissal.

3:39 PM, July 06, 2006  

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