Opening My Lock

I never thought this day would come. I'm actually contemplating making a set of house keys for Rock. I know everyone is like, weren't you talking about breaking up with him two weeks ago? And yes I was. Isn't it amazing how I flip the script? I know I'm being irrational but hear me out.

I feel like things have been pretty good with us since we've talked things out. Plus Rock was there for me when I needed him this week. I wound up going to emergency Monday evening. I had an allergic reaction to what I suspected was the aspirin I took mid-afternoon. As I was mailing off Tasha's belated b-day card before the evening started (it was actually her b-day Monday), I started noticing my lower lip and gums began to start aching. I recalled that it did the same thing on the 7th when I took some ibuprofen for my neck pain. Silly me on the 7th was thinking it was just the ibuprofen doing its thing. Eventually that day the pain went away. But that wasn't the case this past Monday. I went to pick up some Chinese after mailing Tasha's card and felt like my lips were getting worse.

I went home, proceeded to eat and then realized that I was starting to have a hard time swallowing. Then it started getting difficult breathing and I was even sneezing and getting stuffed up. My lips and gum were beginning to swell as was my face. I panicked.

First person I thought of calling was Rock. I wasn't sure why since he's an hour away. But actually I think I wanted to reach him just in case something happened to me. He seemed really concerned when I told him what I was experiencing. He asked me if I wanted him to come. I hesitated because I knew it would be putting him out but time was of the essence and after he pushed for an answer, I told him yes. We agreed that he would meet me at emergency.

So I was released about an hour or so after treatment (shot of benadryl and breathing through a nebulizer) and plans were changed for him to meet me at my place. I went to Walgreen's to pick up a prescription they gave me.

I get home and Rock's there parked in my driveway waiting for me. So I pull my car in and we walk into the house. In short, he stays with me for an hour and comforts me. He told me how my call scared him and showed me how much he cared.

So Hemingway I was watching an episode of Soul Food on DVD where Teri was giving Damon keys to her home and that's when the idea hit me. Rock was planning to meet me Sunday so we can hang out at a local outlet mall. I was thinking about giving the keys to him at some point Sunday.

I told Eugene about my idea and he's not a fan of it. Considering our issues (especially the control issues), he questioned how the dynamics of our relationship would change. He also threw the possibility that Rock might reject the key. And then what? I guess he has a point but ultimately it's my decision.

So I'm going to make another set of keys. I plan to give a set to my girl Sally instead. Thinking about giving them to Rock made me think of Sally. We've known each other for over 13 years and I think if anyone should have a set first, it should be her.

But I may reconsider giving one to Rock depending on how our trip to New York goes. That happens in September. Even better, I may just wait until we make it a year together and reevaluate then.