Thursday, July 10, 2008

To Be 60 And Gay

I got back an hour ago from meeting this older guy for dinner. I still have an account on A4A and whenever I can hold a guy's interest, I like just chatting and stuff. So Hemingway a 60 year old traveling salesman hit me up Monday night with the illicit message...'like older guys? nearby hotel - here.' I basically told STS thanks but no thanks. I felt a bit bad so the next morning I sent him a message telling him if he wasn't able to get some other action that I could meet him for dinner that night. STS mentioned that he was actually traveling in other parts of Chicago later that morning and wouldn't be in my neck of the woods. He tried doing the whole 'let's meet for coffee before going to work' jazz but I was going in that morning in the opposite direction so that was a no go. He mentioned possibly being back in my area on Thursday but likely not. I was like, cool whatever.

So I'm working from home today and after logging in to A4A he sends me a message saying he's back and if I wanted to meet him for dinner or drinks. I didn't have any plans so I was like sure. My plan was simply to have a nice dinner and a quick dinner. We wound up going to Big Bowl in Schaumburg, which was quite crowded. As a result we wound up just sitting at the bar.

Just as I arrived there, it was storming a bit and the rain was coming down. I called STS to see if he was there yet. He was basically pulling into the parking lot when I called. I happen to be sitting in my parked car and I saw what looked like an older guy getting out of a Volkswagon. So I made a run for it in the restaurant. We shook hands and quickly made our way to the bar. He was every bit his 60 years. He may have even been 62. We chatted for a quick minute before he wound up taking a fifteen minute call with someone (likely planning a future rendezvous). If this were a "date" date, I would've been pissed. But since I was just meeting to hang out, it was all good. The only annoying parts were every time I said something, he'd go 'pardon me'. So I had to repeat myself. Every single time. That got old fast.

So towards the end of dinner, I was ready to go home. But he asked if I wanted to stay for a drink and against my better judgment I did. It wasn't that anything bad happened. But STS decided to go for the kill and ask me if I wanted to go back to his hotel with him. I politely declined. He then lamented about dating being an older gay guy.

It is true that gays are a fickle bunch and ageism is alive and well. I was reminded of all the bad dates and non-dates due to game players that I had prior to meeting Rock and could totally relate...aside from the age factor. He then mentioned that he was actually married with two grown kids and he uses his job as his chance to satisfy his urges with men but with his age it's harder and harder to do so.

STS's being married aside, I kind of felt for him. After I left and drove home, it hit home that if I live long enough, I too will one day become 60. Shocking, huh? I'd love to think that Rock and I will be together forever but I'm a realist and know the odds are definitely stacked against us. So one day I could be STS and face the same hurdles he's facing. And he reminded me that the sexual desire doesn't diminish with age (at least in the 60s that is...the 70s, who knows...though I do remember my Grandma - lord rest her soul - having a gentleman caller well into her 70s). I can only imagine now when men and women in their 60s and 70s look at younger folks, they may be mentally undressing them with their eyes. Scary thought...even scarier thinking one day being on the other side of that equation.

So that got me thinking about the future of 'virtual sex'. Sure there's cyber sex and phone sex currently. But maybe 'virtual sex' where you can put on a pair of goggles and visualize the ideal man or woman specimen and having them do whatever you want may become a reality. It would help curtail the current trouble of hooking up. At least I'd like to hope such a reality exists by the time I become 60 (in 2032).

I wonder if I'll still be blogging in 2032. Maybe there will be another form of expressing oneself. Who knows? And speaking of blogs, of course there's a blog out there that focuses on the future of virtual sex. Interesting stuff.

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Blogger Curious said...

I doubt that age really has anything to do with STS. If he stopped cheating on his wife and settled down with her or some other man he wouldn't have to face the rejection that most people face regardless of how old they are.

I'm sure he was just using one of the many lines that must have in his arsenal.

12:24 AM, July 11, 2008  
Blogger BPS 2.0 said...

There is a big difference between him and the gay men of today. Most gay men are with men. They aren't married with children still looking for trade in the streets.

I believe if you are true to yourself then you don't have to live in secret like STS. I know gay men who are up in age and some even have children but they are divorced and living as a gay man.

As far as sex, I always revert to the movie, Demolition Man, when Sylvester Stallone and Sandra Bullock got buy with those mind connectors on. No physical touch just virtual. LOL!! With the rate of diseases passing around, you never know.

1:51 PM, July 11, 2008  
Blogger Chet said...

There just has to be a limit! Gotta be alimit! I am an older brotha nowhere near 60, but never the less I will someday be 60 or even 55 and I hope like hell that I am not out there looking for trade or a nook nook; man it is tough now to secure a solid relationship and I refuse to try and imagine 60 or older.

Dating older guys has it advantages generally the income and security are in place, savings, own home and living the American Dream, but it is hard to adjust to sleeping with an older guy if you truly are not attracted to such a man.

STS needs to sit his arse down and get back with wifey or find himself a call by to hook up with from time to time, they do for the money and have no problem in most cases getting down with a john.

At least you are honest about yor feeling and you gave it a go, but found out it isn't your cup of tea or latte.

4:42 PM, July 11, 2008  
Blogger 4GOTTEN1 said...

I don't think sex was ever the issue here. I think he just isn't happy because he wants to be with a man and he can't because he chose to be married and have kids.
I think that is so sad.

4:46 PM, July 13, 2008  
Blogger That Dude Right There said...

Does anyone find it strange that you hardly ever SEE gay men in their 60s?

11:59 PM, July 13, 2008  
Blogger Q said...

I thank God that I'm comfortable in my skin, and that I have peace of mind. I couldn't see looking for trade at 60. When I'm that age, I'm gonna still be wearing skinny jeans and high-tops chillin with my much younger

9:47 AM, July 14, 2008  
Blogger Joey Bahamas said...

I watched something about sex in the virtual world not to long ago. But, by sixty I really hope to be settled down with someone, rich and stuck up!


2:16 PM, July 17, 2008  
Blogger NeenaLove said...

i am such a voyeur in your world. thank you for sharing your experiences and putting your truth "out there" for me to read. LOL...

i thoroughly enjoy it!


1:53 AM, July 18, 2008  
Blogger yet another black guy said...

first of all, boy get off that damn A4A lol! and ol' boy's problem is that it's not an urge, but an orientation. he's gay or bi, but definitely not straight. and he's been cheating on his wife all this time?!

at one point you gotta get real with yourself so you can be real with someone else. it's harder for him to find someone in his 60's because he didn't keep it real in his younger days, hell even 10 years ago. his kids are grown now, there's no excuse.

2:58 AM, July 18, 2008  
Blogger thatgirl said...

wow...I am leaving it alone... this stuff never ceases to amaze me.

9:07 PM, July 24, 2008  

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