Saturday, March 11, 2006

I Want Some Candy

I was thinking about that scene in Best Man. You know the one. No, not the fight between Harper and Lance. Though that was hot. Wait...I think that was mostly Morris Chestnut that was hot. He was sexy from the first moment he stepped on the screen. Ooooh, he's a fucking hottie. Not as hot as Karamle, though. Damn! Have you all seen Karamale's latest profile pic? I'm seriously about to get on the next flight to Columbia (or whereever he is currently...*LOL*). You brothers that did him wrong in the past have seriously messed up a potential good thing. But that was a side rant. Sorry.

Hemingway back to Best Man. I was talking about the scene before that where the stripper Candy entered the bachelor party and was enticing Murch, a character after my own heart.

I just laugh everytime I see that scene where Murch is so shy and innocent with Candy. I just wanna go awww. I used to be that way. Of course, the Cameo old-school song Candy helped sell that scene.

"My eyes roll in my head. I toss and turn in my bed. In the morning when I think about you."

Sigh....I've been feeling that way lately about Chad. Actually he's been on my brain a bit too much these days. If you recall, Chad is the dude I've started chatting with for a couple weeks now. The one that I should know better than to let affect me emotionally. But like the imbecile I am, he has.

Chad's been a bit shady these last couple days. Well not really shady, but he hasn't called in the last couple days. Okay fine. I know I'm tripping.

As Eugene so loves to remind me over and over and over again, Chad and I don't owe each other shit. Actually I had a slight falling out with Eugene over this. I love Eugene with all my heart as a friend. However, just once I'd like him to have some empathy for me. But I guess it's hard to have empathy for an imbecile.

When he was going into his rant for the millionth time about how he'd never allow his emotions to get the best of him over any guy, I put the cell down. I could hear his voice going on for two minutes. Then when I knew he was done, I picked it up. He asked 'does what I say make sense'. I made some noise purposely that let him know that I didn't listen to him. (Which could be why I find myself in these predicaments again and again...shut-up rational E...*LOL*) He called me an asshole and we basically didn't talk to each other for an hour and ten minutes (on the cell, I kid you not). I stayed on the line doing other things until he finally disconnected. (I wanted to win at something...*LOL*) We'll be okay, though...:-)

So Hemingway what was I saying before I got into that side rant...oh right, Chad. I am aware that we're not in an official relationship and that neither of us are under any obligation to call each other. But that didn't stop me from letting my guard down and letting him weasel his way to my heart and looking forward to our previously daily chats. Why do guys stop that shit after reeling you in? Hmmm...maybe he got the bill...*LOL*.

The last two substantial conversations we had were a bit marred. Confession time. The friend I speak of in my Hanging By A String thread was Chad. Both times he kept on mentioning Stringy over and over. It just felt weird that he bought it up twice, telling me all about their work relationship. He alluded that he would feel unfair trying to pursue anything with me while he has Stringy on the brain. That actually is true and I'm cool with just being friends with him. But after that, the calls stopped. I pathetically tried texting him and he'd text a brief response and then nothing further.

Yesterday he called me on the job so I really couldn't talk to him much. (My theory is that he was hoping to get my voicemail and didn't expect me to answer.) Then he had the audacity, if you will, (oooh, I'm so channeling New York...don't forget to watch the final showdown tomorrow, yall...*LOL*) to mention that he was annoyed because he had to give a "guy at work" a ride to the train station. Wasn't he bitching about Stringy, who I strongly suspect was the "guy at work", not accepting a ride from him?

Hemingway I told him I would be off work after 6PM and to give me a call later. Did he do that? I think we know the answer..:-)

I don't know. I'm getting the feeling that he's pushing me away. I'll know for sure this coming Wednesday since supposedly we're going to meet for dinner. He hasn't cancelled it yet. It kills me that the ball's in his court. But you know, it's my fault for allowing it to happen again. I'm such an imbecile.

So Hemingway I'm planning on hitting the club tonight and maybe a little rendevous tomorrow (assuming the guy isn't shady...these guys are so trifling) to get my mind off Chad. Yeah, it's time for me to find some side candy.


Blogger TrinaBeingTrina said...

Isn't it crazy how a couple of weeks is all a person needs to be able to affect your emotions?

I wish you the best of luck.

11:47 PM, March 11, 2006  
Blogger That Dude Right There said...

E. It sounds like you are following in my footsteps. Read all of my post about VP. That should help you out.

4:43 AM, March 12, 2006  
Blogger That Girl said...

Hang in there!

7:06 AM, March 12, 2006  
Blogger Cash S. said...

Don't you hate that? You get a phone call everyday for the first couple of weeks or so, then it suddenly changes.

The Chad and Stringy situation is weird. How can he be so focused on this guy that doesn't seem to be interested in him? From my past experiences, married men and men with GF's are very selfish. They only want to deal with you on their terms. There's no mutual interest or concern for the other person at all.

1:41 PM, March 12, 2006  
Blogger "N" Search of Ecstasy said...

You are not an imbecile, your are being human!

We all know that most of the time (if not all of the time) it is impossible to control the way that we feel about someone. Our mind can tell us one thing but the heart is saying something totally different!

As for your friend who says he’d never allow his emotions to get the best of him over any guy. Don’t worry about that. Everyone can’t do that. When you talk to someone all the time, and spend time with them, most of us can’t help but start having feelings for the person and that’s okay. It’s natural and there is nothing wrong with that.

I know this sounds like a cliché, but it’s true, ‘we all have to kiss a few frogs before we find our prince’.

It’ll be okay!

3:22 PM, March 12, 2006  
Blogger lj said...

Like"N" said you are not a imbecile but you are getting caught up with someone who has a few serious issues to work out before trying to start something. I would back off the situation a little and let the ball be in his court. Let him come to you, if he doesn't you know what's up.

1:21 AM, March 13, 2006  
Blogger Karamale said...

aiight, "n"...i had to do a double take. i don't know what it is with me and bosoms.

e - thanks for the compliment and shout out, man. honestly, them fools really don't know how good they woulda had it. phuk em.

and phuk chad. true, he's not actively trying to play you or any of that, but he is certainly in love with someone who is emotionally unavailable to him, which makes him in turn emotionally unavailable to you. it is incredibly selfish of him to call you when "stringy's" acting up. i know it'll be tough, but you need to cut convo with him to a minimum, if not terminate that interaction completely. people don't automatically deserve your friendship.

3:33 PM, March 14, 2006  

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