Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Cingular Sucks MG's Turds

Ok...does anyone here buy Miracle Greens? For those who don't, it's basically in a nutshell a superfood supplement that's usually in powder form that provides five to ten servings of fruits and veggies a day. Hemingway I ordered a new batch of the stuff, which they call their "fall harvest". They say it's full flavored and full bodied. I mixed it in with my fruit smoothie like I've been doing the last couple weeks and nearly gagged when taking a drink of it (while dealing with Cingular, no less, which I'll get to that rant shortly). This batch of greens is full of something alright. It's extremely bitter and assaults your nose and mouth with nastiness that no amount of salt, sugar, whatever takes it away. I almost want to send it back, but of course, Miracle Greens has the disclaimers that different batches have different tastes. Of course they claim that it's always a good taste, but that's debatable in this case. If you haven't ordered your new batch of MG's, avoid the "fall harvest" batch like the plague.

I may want to check out another type of greens next time until they're out of the "fall harvest", which hello...it's freaking summer almost, even though the weather feels like fall, so it's actually appropriate.

Worse thing, even if I wanted to take it back, I can't since I opened it. WebVitamins only accepts unopened containers. The rub...how the hell would I know how nasty it is unless I try it? Bastards. Hemingway!

Now on to Cingular. I've never had any real problems with the service. But that all changed this past week.

I called Eugene last Wednesday after work as normal. He told me that he had trouble contacting me. We both sorta shrugged it off and continued our chat as usual.

Later on that evening, when I called him again, he complained of the same thing. I was a bit puzzled considering I was able to call him. He decided that he would check with Cingular in the morning.

So he does just that. He winds up calling my home number. He then tells me that Cingular techs says that my phone has the problem. We argued back and forth over this. I was questioning why my phone (cheap as it is) would be the one with the issue considering I was able to call him.

Eugene added that Cingular says I should call and open up a trouble ticket for my phone. I decide to do just that. So I call Cingular and rehash what Eugene told me his tech said. The tech I got told me that logically it would seem that the problem would be with Eugene's phone. I liked the way my tech thinks.

So I relay my tech's message to Eugene. Eugene's a bit livid over this since he insisted his tech told him the issue was with my phone. We argue some more.

You see how Cingular conspired to break up our friendship.

After some heated words were exchanged, Eugene decided to call again the next morning with me on the other line. After eventually getting to a technician, I dropped off while the technician worked with Eugene. Believe it or not, that tech also told Eugene that the problem was with my phone. Eugene called me back and had the tech explain the problem to me.

Apparently, if I recall, there was an issue with routing his call to my number. He concluded this because Eugene was able to call other numbers in my area code and prefix. And since he wasn't able to call that same prefix to me, then it was my issue. The tech told me that since I was in a different region from Eugene that he couldn't deal with my issue and that he would transfer me to another tech and explain the situation to that tech.

I was placed on hold for ten minutes. When a tech finally came on the line, he was clueless to what was going on. I lost it. I told him that I couldn't believe the other technician didn't inform him of what was going on. I sighed as I did my best to rehash what Eugene's tech told me.

Tech #4 was using the same logic that Tech #2 told me. He basically was telling me that Eugene's phone is the problem. I lost it again. I told him that if I told Eugene that, we would wind up arguing again. I was truly beginning to wonder if Cingular was trying to break up our friendship since I do call Eugene several times a day and since we're both with Cingular, they're not making any money from our conversations.

Tech #4 misinterpreted what I was saying to mean that Eugene was afraid to call tech support. I had to correct the idiot that Eugene's called twice and they claim the problem was with me. So I'm going back and forth with the tech for fifteen minutes before I finally relent and allow him to leave a voicemail with Eugene.

So you guessed it? Eugene and I argued some more. We decided to both call Cingular but deal with customer service. Basically both of us were at the point that we were ready to drop our service over this. So we get a customer service person and Eugene started going off. I silently listened until it seemed like Eugene wasn't on the line anymore, even though he was the one that called. Since Eugene was still silent and fearing that the customer rep would hang up, I took over. I was ranting and raving for a few minutes and then I got dropped.

I called Eugene and found out he dropped me. Apparently he was on the line and bitched that he couldn't get a word in edgewise because I kept talking. I told him that the cust rep and I didn't hear him. He said with sarcasm that how come I could hear him now.

I was steamed. Here I was trying to help Eugene out and even went along with his stupid tech's answers because I wanted to get to the bottom of why Eugene couldn't call me and this was the thanks I got. Rather than say something I might regret, I told Eugene (in a dramatic tone)"I need to go to work. Bye." and hung up.

Halfway on my way to work, I get a phone call from Eugene. He had a senior tech rep on the line and basically was going over the problem for the fifteenth time. *LOL*. Hemingway the tech asked if the number was an AT&T number. I did transfer my number from AT&T, though wouldn't that be a moot point since AT&T and Cingular merged. But whatever. The person wanted to contact an AT&T techie. (Didn't they merge..and why can't techies from one region talk to those in another...IDIOTS!) But the angle this rep made was progress, however warped it was.

But moments later the line dropped. Eugene and I were still connected but the tech person was gone. Fifteen minutes later I arrived at work. We were peeved because we couldn't believe that the person didn't even bother to call us back. I told Eugene I had to go and that we'd deal with it later.

Before hanging up, Eugene apologized for his behavior towards me that morning. It's not often Eugene admits to being wrong so I accepted gleefully.

Later that afternoon, I got a phone call from another Cingular techie. They confirmed that whatever they did for Eugene's phone worked. Moments later, Eugene called me himself. I was happy.

I still hate Cingular, though. If it weren't for the rollover minutes, I'd be gone. My contract does expire this August. I'm seriously considering moving elsewhere.

But Eugene said it won't matter. Ultimately corporations such as Cingular can afford to provide piss poor service such as we experienced because they're becoming more and more of a monopoly (with all the mergers). So it almost doesn't matter where you go.



Blogger Cash S. said...

Wow, that's crazy! Come on over to SPRINT!

9:00 AM, May 10, 2006  
Blogger Clay said...

i considered getting Miracle Greens too! Now i wont - all cell phone services suck!

10:25 AM, May 10, 2006  
Blogger Marz said...

What you do is get a bobby pin poke a small hole in the bottom of the package, and drain a little bit onto your finger. If you don't like it then send it back. YOU HAVE TO GET GHETTO SOMETIMES.

I dont' have a cell phone, but the chjildren who are A:LWAYS discussing their plans and new phones and BLAH, say that verizon is the best, and Cingular is TRASH.


11:29 AM, May 10, 2006  
Blogger That Dude Right There said...

No matter what anybody says, T-mobile is the best with customer service. I've never had an issue with them. They don't have as great a coverage area as Cingular, but they are cheaper and reliable.And the let you change your plan anytime you want to. Hell, I have 1500 minutes a month for $49.95.

And Miracle Greens? I think that I will stick to the real fruits and vegetables.

5:48 PM, May 10, 2006  

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