Tuesday, January 24, 2006

I Want Respect

Yaya Johnson was quite the self-righteous diva on Cycle 3 (that word reminds me of women's periods...*LOL*) of UPN's hit series America's Next Top Model. She annoyed a lot of the other ladies in the house with her arrogance. But I'll be damned but she never really was involved in much drama in the house. She demanded and earned her "respeito".

Aretha Franklin wrote a song about it. And despite all the crazy shit Aretha's done over the years, she still earned it.

So why can't I? It always seem like I'm the one that's compromising myself in my relationships (be they friendships or potential mates). You want me to do it this way. Okay, sure. You need this tea to be warmer. Okay, sure. You want to be left alone because you have better things to do. Okay, sure. Oh, you wanna say something to me now because you have nothing better to do. Okay, sure.

It also feels like at times I'm an afterthought to some people. I had a date planned Sunday with Starbuck. (He's the guy I mentioned having a date with at Starbuck's last December while my beeper was going off.) I called him three hours before to confirm our afternoon date. I made the mistake years ago of being stood up at the mall because I went despite not hearing from the idiot in question that day. So I've vowed not to make that mistake again. It was an hour before my date and I heard nothing from Starbuck. It would take me 45 minutes to get to my destination. He finally called right at the 45 minute mark. I wound up cancelling the date because I felt like I was a last minute afterthought. When I called him later in the evening, he was short with me. He said he was busy and that he had to go. The convo was less than two minutes. I figured I wouldn't hear from him again. Surprisingly he called last night and we arranged another date for Saturday morning. Hopefully he'll confirm a lot sooner. We'll see.

I don't know. Maybe I'm being overly sensitive again. But I don't feel like I get much respect from people. I do recognize that respect begets respect and I haven't been asking for it like I should. Why don't I think I deserve it?

I mean it's not like I expect to be treated like royalty. I know people have their lives to live and other pressing things going on. I don't expect people to drop what they're doing to talk to me. But whatever happened to respect and common courtesy? If we're still on for a date, take two seconds out of your busy schedule and let me know it's still on, especially if I have to go out of my way to meet the person. If you're too busy to chat, say hello at least and say that we'll have to talk later. It's called respect. It's called common courtesy.

It's one of the ITs that I want and will give in the 06. I'm aware that I only get treated the way I allow people to treat me. So I need to demand the respect and hopefully I'll receive it. If they don't want to give it to me, I shouldn't give it either. I don't think I'm asking for a lot.


Blogger heartbreaker said...

man, courtesy is a growing uncommon thing... people are just rude and self-centered, period. i know that's kinda cynical, but it's real... true, you get treated as you allow yourself to be, but don't let that stop you from treating others as you'd have them treat you even if you don't get it in return. that's a mark of character--and maturity, and that's you... so do you. ;) peace

11:30 AM, January 24, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Death said...

Well, like heartbreaker said: courtesy is getting rarer. Some people don't get it. If you feel like your not being respected, its nto worth it. He probably should have called sooner, but I wouldn't get to upset about it. He may have forgot, or been really busy. He did call, at least, which is better then can be said for most guys.
Have fun.

1:06 PM, January 24, 2006  
Blogger *Madosi said...

hey, i feel ya!

you will not get respect if you do not first respect yourself and demand respect from others. no one can do anything to us that we do not allow them to do ...

3:54 PM, January 24, 2006  
Blogger feels good b n FREE said...


it's so necessary

4:11 PM, January 24, 2006  
Blogger chase said...

hey beautiful, of course you deserve respect....We teach people how to treat us. When someone makes a mistake or does something you don't like, calmly point out what they did, and how you felt. Do not apologize for feeling that way, and explain how you would like to be treated. As long as you're not on some unreasonable diva shit, then they should understand...if they dont, they need to bounce.

when that person comes along that has their priorities str8, and that want's to be around you and impress you, or keep it real around you...you'll know it. You'll get that respect and more.

it will happen.

9:38 PM, January 24, 2006  
Blogger M-Dubb said...

Respect is the cornerstone of any society. It's needed to flourish. You know how old black folks stay in their neighborhoods forever and nothing happens to their stuff, even when the neighborhood takes a turn for the worse? It's because they've earned their keep.

And you've got to earn yours. Or at least demand it.

10:40 PM, January 24, 2006  
Blogger Georgiapeach said...

Thank you for leaving such a beautiful comment to me on my blog. It was so funny because I thought about you while I was writing that post and was going to write your name.

I feel the exact same way as you. That is one my resolutions this year. For some reason, I think becoming this way is just assuring that you are growing as a person. At a certain point in one's life, that feel the need to demand respect. I think that is why a lot of women are labeled as bitches. Because after a certain age, you just can't take certain shit anymore and from just anybody. You start to see your own self worth. Stay strong.

1:11 AM, January 25, 2006  
Blogger That Dude Right There said...

"Just a little bit"

I feel ya on this. But on thing that you will notice when you start demanding respect from people is that they are gonna think that you are being a B I T C H! I get it all of the time!

10:17 AM, January 25, 2006  
Blogger lady in satin said...

And you're not asking for alot either. You definitely deserve to be respected and common courtesy is not too much to ask from someone. I think you were right in cancelling the date...I would have too. I don't think you should accept anything less than what is courteous and respectful from people!

9:42 PM, January 25, 2006  
Blogger Marz said...

YAYA was the girl, I loved her intelligence. And she was not arrogant. She had to tell Eva and Anne off for writing in that girl's brownies.

But when she got to Japan her true colors came out, and I jumped quickly off her coochie and hopped to Eva's.

(Top model lover you see. LOL)

You have to tell people what you will and won't accept sometimes. DEMAND THINGS. (All situations don't need demands.) But like when I talk to certain people (mother) they always want to talk. "When I speak to you, I demand silence or we can stop talking altogether". Maybe I'm just mean, but they don't talk, and if they do I leave.

If there are no boundaries, alll lines will be crossed. Draw your respect lines in the cement which is your life. Let it harden and show it for what it is.


11:33 AM, January 27, 2006  
Blogger Karamale said...


i'm with you, cat. i get respect in the classroom and from friends, but i be damn if it don't transfer over to romantic interests. i got stood up yestrerday for a date i had confirmed 45 MINUTES BEFOREHAND! STOOD ON THE FUCKING CORNER IN A NEIGHBORHOOD I'D NEVER BEEN TO CALLING A CELL PHONE THAT WAS GOING STRAIGHT TO VOICEMAIL!

(sorry...had to get that out)

people suck, bruh. we just gotta get used to it.

10:00 AM, January 28, 2006  

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