Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Football Fantasizing

Anyone catch the Probowl this past weekend? Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not the biggest fan. But it's not fron lack of interest. I mean what other game is there where you can see big strong guys tackling each other and patting each other in the butt. So erotic. It makes me wonder what really goes down in those lockerrooms.

My reason for not being into football is because I don't understand the basic rules. Well I know one team has to run the ball from one end of the field to the other. But how they determine plays is beyond my scope of understanding.

So Hemingway I decided to call Huey for the heck of it Sunday. I caught him in the middle of watching A&E's Sell This House. That led to a whole conversation about his looking for a house, etc., etc.

Fast forward. It was now 5PM and the Pro Bowl was being shown on ESPN. (I think.) He told me to flip to that channel. I asked him if the Pro Bowl game was always after the superbowl. He confirmed that this was the case. It occurs the weekend after Superbowl and basically the best players from all the football teams are selected to play. While I was admiring the faces whenever ESPN showed their little computer graphic bios of the players, Huey focused on the asses of the players. They were nice, I suppose..:-)

So Hemingway I told him that I would have to invest in Holly Robinson Peete's book in order to understand the rules of the game. I got to give it to Mrs. Peete. She was smart enough to see a market need not being served and went for it.

Of course, Huey would hear nothing of that. He told me that football is easy to understand once you know the basics. He did his best to try to give me a crash course before he had to do his errands.

I don't know if any of it stuck.

I think he said something about each team having up to 4 downs to reach 40 yards. I guess when you see first down and 10 that means they have to try and make 10 yards. I think the team can either run it or kick it across. I think the team gets 6 points if they acheive that. And then they get an extra point if the kicked ball goes between the post. I forget how they get 3 points.

He told me to focus on watching their butts and it'll become clearer.

Eh, I think I better buy Holly's book and call it a day. Besides it has pictures of all the hottest players.


Blogger Cash S. said...

I'm with Huey, I just focus on the asses.

I still chuckle when I see Hemingway, that's cute lol.

10:12 AM, February 14, 2006  
Blogger That Dude Right There said...

"He told me to focus on watching their butts and it'll become clearer"

He isn't lying. Looking at the players physiques (especially the asses) is how I got hooked on football. Now I even know what the refs' hand signals mean.

11:39 PM, February 14, 2006  
Blogger ProfessorGQ said...

I'm a hardcore football fan, and I HATE watching the games with guys who are always commenting on the bodies...YUCK! LOL

Huey misled you about scoring. Each team has up to 4 downs to complete ten yards in order to keep possession of the game. That's the basic rule of football.

9:58 AM, February 15, 2006  
Blogger Marz said...

I don't get the rules either, and I don't really want to. I comment on the bodies in my head. And what you think happens in the locker rooms does. ( if you only knew.)

( Why am I saying this like I'm some football player locker room whore? LOL)


10:06 AM, February 15, 2006  
Blogger jameil1922 said...

omg!! that was hilarious! i'm w/professor. i can't watch w/people who can't focus on the actual game. and yes, that's the basic. please, please, please do not try to learn the game of football on the phone w/someone who tells you to just watch the asses!!!! lololol you are CAH-RAZY!!

11:30 AM, February 15, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Death said...

I've never seen a real point in football...especially when they call it the most brutal sport...Rugby? Hockey? Hello? I do have a rant, but I'll save it. ;)
But GOD are the asses fine. It's the only thing that sport is worth watching for.

12:52 PM, February 18, 2006  
Blogger Karamale said...

i think i've seen "football for dummies" at borders. seriously. the "for dummies" series damn sho taught me about cast iron cooking.

6:12 PM, February 20, 2006  

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