Half & Half, Tit & Tat

Moving On

2011-10-15T11:24:00.002-05:00

This marks my 400th post on here. Should've been more than that but my blogging has become sporadic at best. Despite that I've realized how important it's been to document what's been going on in my life. Also today marks my 39th birthday. I figured since I'm a year away from 40 and this blog was on my life in the 30's, I should start a new one focusing on my ongoing experiences now that I'm closer to the big 4-0.

Visit my new blog: Hear E Goes Again...Again.

Thanks for all those who've read my blog in the past and made helpful comments.

Dashing Date

2011-01-06T10:15:00.001-06:00

HAPPY 2011 EVERYONE!!!!

It's been more than two years since I broke up with Rock. I've dated here and there and hooked up more times than Blanche Elizabeth Devereaux (BED...hee) on her sluttiest night. Well it wasn't that frequent and my sex life has mostly been famine but there were times when it rained, it poured.

But I'm coming to the point now where I'm ready to find boyfriend #2. My limited ways of meeting guys haven't been working. I'm looking for an alternative method.

With that said I've looked into the possibility of a speed dating service. The concept is that a group of folks are together in a room and you have anywhere from 1-5 minutes to spend getting to know someone before moving on to the next person. At the end of each session, you would mark yes if you're interested in that person or no if you're not. Then at the end of the night, all mutual yes pairings would be identified. I've heard of the concept mostly for heterosexual couples and wondered if such a service existed for the homosexually inclined.

As luck would have it I did find one. It's from a company called Date and Dash. The company claims a 90% match success rate. But I don't know if they just mean two people mutually saying 'yes' to each other, in which case I'm sure most folks would have a mutual match initially. Whether it leads anywhere is a different story.

I keep having this thought that I'll be told that nobody was interested in me. I don't know though. I think it should be fun. If nothing else it would be a different avenue I haven't tried before. So I might sign up. The one gay 'Date and Dash' they have in Chicago is on January 21st at a bar on Halstead. If I do it, I'll definitely let everyone know how it goes.

How It Is Done

2010-12-29T16:30:00.000-06:00

Hey Ladynay, thanks for still checking me out even after my six month hiatus...*LOL*. I was waiting to see if I'd get any reaction. :-)

I'm actually off from work today and back in Chicago. My work life has been hell at the company I've been vowing to leave since 2006...*LOL*. I've fallen a bit off the gym track and am doing my best to maintain myself though January is near and I may do another cleanse. My love life has consisted of hot sex with an occasional FWB who's deep in the closet and a few dates and hookups with other guys, nothing significant though I long to find boyfriend #2. Maybe 2011 is the year.

Hemingway (classic...*LOL*) now I'm going to do something I haven't done in ages. Give a blow by blow account of an event that recently happened. I'm referring to my coming out to my parents on the 24th.

The day started innocently enough. Fast forward to 12:30PM. It's Day 3 in Detroit at my parents' crib. My Dad's sitting by his laptop playing spider solitaire and listening to the radio. My Mom's laying on the sofa watching CNN and I'm sitting in a chair not far from her at the dining room table texting.

So I'm texting with Eugene, who's also in Detroit visiting his family, about his recent high school reunion that he attended. Of course he's rambling on and on about how everyone there was telling him how young he looks. I started strumming to myself the bars to Beyonce's Ego (god...I imagine she has a huge one too....*LOL*). His date for the evening wasn't feeling all the comments from his classmates from what he said.

My Mom sees me texting and asks me with whom I'm texting. I love my Mom but sometimes she's too nosey for her own good. And yeah I guess Mamas are like that. I sighed and told her it wasn't anyone she knew. That of course didn't stop my Mom. She asked me if I was texting a "special friend".

(It didn't help that moments before CNN was once again talking about the repeal of the discriminatory military practice of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' that finally received approval from the House and Senate and was signed into law by Obama.)

I was in shock but only for a moment. If I were a more direct person, I would ask her what she meant by "special friend". But I knew exactly what she meant. No explanation required. I told her no it's not a special friend. That wasn't enough of course for my Mom. She dug deeper and asked me if I was seeing anyone. I got up from my seat and told her I wasn't seeing anyone and made a beeline for my bedroom (well the guestroom....*LOL*).

A wave of emotions was coming over me. I texted about this recent exchange to Eugene. He asked me what she meant by "special friend" and then was amazed my Mom knew about texting. My Mom is not into texting or using the computer but obviously she knows when someone's doing it. I then told Eugene that I would need to tell my parents officially that I'm gay but would wait until the day after Christmas as to not spoil the holiday.

Eugene asked me what I was going to tell my Mom and I said I'm going to tell both my parents that I'm gay and dating but don't have anyone special. The weight of what I was contemplating doing came over me and I started to cry. Luckily since I was texting Eugene, he had no idea I was doing so.

I mourned again the hopes and dreams that my parents may have had of me one day getting married (to a girl...*LOL*) and starting a family. I mourned that I didn't have a special guy in my life that I could tell them I was seeing. I worried that I would be seen as a failure by my parents.

My Mom came knocking on my door asking me if I was okay. I did my best to swallow my tears and told her I was fine. I didn't hear her walking away so I went and opened the door. She wasn't by my door but was in the back kitchen. I walked towards her and she asked me again if I was okay. She was looking out the window and not directly at me.

I was still wiping the tears from my eyes telling her I was fine. But I lost it and started crying again. She turned around and looked like she was about to cry to but instead she asked if she made me upset asking about any "special friends". I lied and said no but the tears wouldn't stop. I then hugged her and repeatedly said 'Im sorry.'

My Mom shooed my apology and had a smile on her face. She asked if I had a boyfriend directly and I told her no but yes I'm gay. She told me that she knew and just wanted me to say it. She displayed a strength that was hiding under her Parkinson's Disease ailment and told me to go to my Dad. With one hand she touched my hands and the other she wrapped around my waist as we took the longest walk towards the living room.

With each step I kept thinking it's finally over. I hoped my Dad's reaction would be as good as my Mom's. Honestly my Mom surprised me the most since she's so 'black and white' about things and I imagined she'd have a more difficult time about it. But on the other hand my parents I'm sure had lots of discussions about me in private and likely she's had more than enough time to accept the reality, hence her relentless pursuit of the truth. She didn't want another moment obviously of knowing but not receiving my confirmation.

My Dad, aside from any disappointments that his #1 son (his only son) was gay, I felt would have a better grasp of the situation and come to terms to it sooner. As far as personality, my Dad has done a complete 180. Whereas in my childhood he was stern and downright scary, my new Dad over the years has become friendlier, approachable, and downright emotional.

My Mom and I reached the living room and she told him that I was crying. He turned around, looked at me, and immediately started crying himself as he told me that they've known about me and no matter what, they still love and care about me. They just wanted to know what was going on with me since I never talk about my love life and the last girl I bought over to the house was in 2001.

He was still crying and I went up and hugged him. Then he started talking about his own experiences about how folks at our Church actually thought he was gay since he hadn't seriously been seeing any women prior to my Mom. But he told me that at the time he knew that he ultimately wanted to marry a woman from the Caribbean similar to himself, which is exactly what he did. I recounted the teasing I had gotten growing up sans my molestation story. He rambled a bit more but I heard all I needed to hear when he said that they still loved and cared about me.

And then it was over. We later went back to our normal routines and my fear of Christmas being ruined didn't come to pass. My only question now is who'll be the lucky guy that'll get to meet my parents someday.

It Is Done

2010-12-24T16:30:00.000-06:00

It officially happened around 1:30PM EST. The moment I've been building on for several years now. A moment I was nervous as hell about but knew had to happen sooner or later. A moment that drove me at one point to write a letter.

It is done now.

Merry X-Mas everyone!!!

Taken Over

2010-06-30T09:00:00.000-05:00

I never seen this video prior to last night. Thanks yet again YouTube!!!

I love me some Chante. And that's vintage Chante at her best.

Ain't That The Truth Ruth

2010-05-30T21:10:00.001-05:00

I used to love this song growing up. This came out before I had money to buy albums. I never knew who sang Automatic but always assumed it was a man with women background singers. Imagine my surprise when looking up the song on YouTube and aside from finding the sexy Ultra Nate's version of it (and who is that dude...I want him in my room...*LOL*), I discover the original artists are none other than the Pointer Sisters. That really took me for a loop. I had no idea Ruth could sing that low.

Yeah I Know...

2010-05-22T21:36:00.003-05:00

....I'm alive. Yes. Just haven't been much in the mood to blog. But I found an interesting blog featuring photos of various passengers on the C.T.A. I'm going through the blog right now curious if I've ever been caught by this blogger. Hopefully as a dapper fashion plate and not a fashion don't. Wow.

Quickie news.

Family

My younger sis Trina recently got engaged on her last birthday. Her fiance proposed to her on the job. They both work for the same company. She texted me and showed me the ring. It was a nice ring, nothing too garish which is good.

My Mom tripped over a chair in the house and broke her nose and cut her lip. She was bleeding profusely but luckily was able to get Trina and my Dad to take her to emergency. It was quite a scare, especially for me since I'm over 300 miles away and can't do much. But she pulled through and everything's okay.

Friends

Eugene actually is dating someone. I'm hoping he doesn't drive the guy away with his rigid rules and can't wait to fly down and meet him, assuming all goes well. In the forefront, a straight postal worker who is a close friend of his may be soon going through a divorce and Eugene suspects he may be bi-curious. Interesting.

Sally is still in the market looking for an IT job. She's had an interview last with Northwestern University for a position and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it comes through for her.

There's more but I need to get myself back in the groove for the 500th time. See ya around. :-)

Cruised Or Profiled 2

2010-04-02T11:55:00.000-05:00

First off...today marks the fifth anniversary of Pope John Paul II's death. My parents actually have a marriage certificate hanging in their bedroom with his likeness giving official blessings. Heh...bet nobody thought I'd be talking about the pope with the title entry being what it is.

In addition today is also the fifth anniversary of Half & Half, Tit & Tat. I can't believe it's been five years since I've first penned my first post(funny how I keep referring to that first post every anniversary...*LOL*). I'll admit that in the last two years I haven't blogged with the frequency that I had in the beginning. I guess like all relationships you have to work to keep the spice alive. I'm not giving up on blogging just yet. Although I hit a record low last month with only one entry for March 2010. Bad bad bad....*LOL*.

So last night after a late night booty call, I made a late night pit stop to a local grocer. It was the end of another uneventful April Fools Day. I was surprised actually Eugene didn't play a joke on me with his whimiscal self.

Hemingway I was making my way to the store and I saw out of my side eye this studly white guy making his way to the grocer as well. I smiled to myself as I entered the store. Yesterday was really nice and it actually hit the upper 70's (possibly low 80's) in Chicago. So I was sporting my Polo Chino shorts with a form fitting t-shirt and some flip flops. I thought I was the cat's meow.

Apparently so did he.

Next thing I know, I felt like I was having a repeat of my "Cruised Or Profiled" moment from years back, ironically on the 1st of the month as well. Hmm.

Hemingway I grabbed a basket and he slowly walked by me. I didn't notice any eye contact but I got my first full frontal look at him and damn he was hot. So he started walking past the produce section as I detoured into the produce. I kept a steady eye on him as he slowly walked down the far aisle.

As I finished perusing the produce and the bakery section, I made my way towards the freezer section. I was stunned to see him just standing by the corner of the freezer aisle, seemingly just staring into open space.

I smiled to myself as I walked past him and continued my shopping. I crossed over to the wine section and came back out to the rear aisle. I ran into him again and noticed he had no items in his hand. Hmm.

By the third run in I was thinking damn, am I really being cruised? I admit I wanted to say something to him but every thought I had sounded stupid. 'Do you have the time?' (Uh..it was almost midnight.) 'Nice weather we're having.' (And?) Hmm...maybe I should've used the classic 'Can I blow the hair from your eyes?' Where did I hear that line before? Probably some trite movie I've long forgotten. I guess the loose translation would be offering him a blowjob.

But you know I did none of those things. Eventually I went off to pay for my items and the rest you can say is history. Needless to say it did give my ego a nice boost.

Who knows? Maybe by the time "Cruised Or Profiled 3" comes along, I'll have a happier ending. Though technically I had one earlier that night so I was good to go....*LOL*.

Back to work...:-)

You Go Ricky!

2010-03-30T08:50:00.002-05:00

In the past I've blogged about the who, when, where, why, and hows of one day coming out to my parents. As of today none of the plans have come to fruitation.

There are some that are like, what's the freaking big deal? Everybody knows anyway.

I imagine that's the same words that Ricky or any of the other celebrities that came out in the last couple years (Clay Aiken for example) have heard. Of course being in the limelight brings the focus out even more.

So it was cool reading that Ricky Martin finally found the courage to officially reveal what folks have speculated or known for years. He did it when he was ready.

These words from him were especially poignant and confirms that even if it's obvious to everyone, coming out is something that has to be done in your own time.

"Enough is enough. This has to change. This was not supposed to happen five or 10 years ago, it is supposed to happen now. Today is my day, this is my time, and this is my moment."

I just realized the catalyst it seemed for Ricky and earlier Clay to come out was having kids. Hmm, maybe I need to have a child. Joking....*LOL*. For now anyway .

All I can say is "Way to go Ricky"!

There Is The Love

2010-02-27T10:25:00.001-06:00

Where Is The Love - Black Eyed Peas

Will.i.am (Rap 1):
What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all

Verse 1
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Verse 2
Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love

Taboo (Rap 2):
It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin' in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all

Repeat Verse 1
Repeat Verse 2

Repeat Chorus

apl.de.dp(Rap 3):
I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' our wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why something I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why something I'm feelin' down
That's the reason why something I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found
Now ask yourself

Repeat Chorus
Repeat Bridge 2

Sing wit me y'all:
One world, one world (We only got)
One world, one world (That's all we got)
One world, one world
And something's wrong wit it (Yeah)
Something's wrong wit it (Yeah)
Something's wrong wit the wo-wo-world, yeah
We only got
(One world, one world)
That's all we got
(One world, one world)

Verizon recently gave me a little bit of love in response to my complaint. It happened a little faster than I expected. I received an email a few weeks back from one of managers that work under Thomas "T.J." Fox. It was in response to a letter I wrote in regards to the rudeness I experienced at a local Verizon store. He basically was apologizing for the experience and wanted to call me to talk about it. So he called and pretty much was apologetic again. He was being kind of repetitive in the apologies and even apologized for that. For my troubles gave me one month of free service and told me that I would also get another call from another manager. That never happened. Maybe I should email him to let him know. But Hemingway.

Eugene also found the love last night. I mentioned a while back that Eugene was helping out a young homeless guy get his life together. He helped him get financial aid to take classes at the college Eugene teaches at. He even was able to get enough to cover room and board. So about a month ago YHG told Eugene that his cousin is Will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas. Eugene didn't believe it at first. YHG also said that Will.i.am would give him two backstage VIP passes to an upcoming show they were having in Boston and wanted to invite Eugene to go with him.

So the concert was last night and was promptly reviewed by Boston Herald. Eugene always plays the "I'm too cool for school" card and not being overly impressed by things. But he was like a gushing schoolboy describing his time last night. As part of the backstage VIP experience, YHG and Eugene were escorted by security away from the other peons (some who paid $200 for the show) into a back door and once given a security band was allowed backstage. They first encountered Fergie, who Eugene described as being too flirtatious. He mentioned that she was flirting with them before even knowing who they were. They then met Will.i.am who he described as really down to earth. Eugene mentioned that Will.i.am told YHG that he would help him out financially. YHG is into football and has dreams of being a football player. Will.i.am mentioned having a cousin that's a football coach out in Los Angeles and having YHG spend his summer up there to be trained by this coach. It was a pretty cool exchange.

Eugene also got to meet Taboo and apl.de.dp. He thought both of them were cool and he said he especially bonded with Taboo. They shared a couple jokes and stuff like that.

There was a catered section with lamb, chicken, shrimp, smoked salmon, and all the fixings. Apparently they went all out in ordering food. There were a lot of people backstage too and it was hard for Eugene to tell who were guest, dancers, friends of the act, etc. They ate and drank a bit (okay a lot) before the actual show started. They were able to watch the show from the basketball court area (literally where the players would shoot baskets) and they were able to go back and forth backstage to get more food and drinks and back to the court.

Overall they had a nice time. Eugene did relay a tense moment between them after the concert. On their way back, they were discussing the options Will.i.am mentioned. YHG seemed resistant to want to spend his summer in LA. Eugene was pointing out to YHG that it would be a very good opportunity for him to take. But YHG wasn't feeling the idea. YHG even muttered a comment that it would be 'good riddance for Eugene'. In other words, Eugene wanted him to go to LA so he wouldn't have to worry about helping him.

From what Eugene told me, YHG grew up in an abusive environment and basically a lot of folks turned their back on him. Eugene turned out to be a positive influence in his life and I guess he was there when others turned their back on him. So he feared losing that. At least that's the conclusion Eugene drew from the incident after thinking it over.

They will work it out I'm sure.

Sweet Dreams

2010-02-21T08:35:00.002-06:00

Sweet Dreams - Eurythmics

Chorus:
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas--
Everybody's looking for something.

Bridge 1:
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.

Ad-lib:
oooh, yeah, whoa

Repeat Chorus

Repeat Ad-lib

Bridge 2:
(Hold your head up--Keep your head up--moving on)
(Hold your head up--moving on--Keep your head up--moving on)
(Hold your head up--moving on--Keep your head up--moving on)
(Hold your head up--moving on--Keep your head up)

Repeat Bridge 1

Repeat Chorus x 3

I just woke up from an experience I haven't had in a long time. I was dreaming that I was in some restroom relieving myself. Moments later this attractive security guard came up to me after I was done with my business. He was grabbing me by my waist and guiding me down some hallway. He was asking me what I was doing and then started giving me his phone number. I was reaching in my pocket to find a pen and he was repeating the number.

At the same time I felt myself waking up and felt like cumming. Instinctively I was holding myself to keep from soiling my pants and bed. I woke up and ran to the bathroom. About ten minutes later a combination of semen and urine came out.

I can't believe I just had a wet dream or in more technical terms a nocturnal emission. I haven't had one of those in almost nine years, which is around the time I "late bloomed" myself into discovering the art of masturbation. Since I stopped having wet dreams immediately afterward, I figured that was the end of it.

I did have a wild random rendezvous last Thursday. The guy was ten years younger than me (27) and was pounding the hell out of me. Maybe it was residual effects from that I was experiencing this morning. Who knows? Nonetheless it was an interesting way to wake up this morning and even if it's TMI, I thought I'd record it for posterity.

I think I'm going to have a good workout today.

Toni's Pulse

2010-02-20T12:02:00.000-06:00

I don't know how I missed this but Toni Braxton has a new album coming out in early May. I just watched the video for her first single Yesterday. Thankfully it's not yet another remake of The Beatles Yesterday. Rather it's a duet with Trey Songz (who reminds me of Chris Brown). The song itself does have that commercial sound to it. It actually sounds like something I've heard before. I just can't put my finger on what song. The upswing is that Toni's voice never sounded clearer and the assist by Trey Songz works. I think she finally swallowed her sandwich.

Anyway I'm a diehard Toni fan so I'll be grabbing her LP when it comes out. Time will tell whether or not the Toni of the mid 90s makes a triumphant return.

Free & Easy

2010-02-19T10:25:00.000-06:00

Free and easy living is what I'm doing today. I took off for a much needed break from work. I'm just chilling at home and will soon head over to the Home Depot that my friend Sally works at to look into getting a new door set.

Life's been okay. On the car front I'm still adjusting to the feel of the ride. It doesn't feel the same as before and at times I still feel like another blowout is imminent. I'm hoping it's mostly in my head. I've taken the car in to the dealer since the accident and after they replaced the wheel bearings, they assured me that nothing else is wrong. Discount Tire was saying something was up with the tie rods but Nissan says its fine. I don't know. I admit I'm this close to trading it in.

The funny story there is I did go to CarMax to get my Altima appraised. They offered the bare minimum amount I was willing to take for the car. I still would've owed about $1300 on the current loan. But the car I was looking to buy...a Toyota Camry...is of course part of a huge recall. Ooops. I somehow missed the memo. (Actually at the time I went to CarMax, the news on Camry had just came out earlier that day.) So needless to say I didn't make a trade.

I also actually finished my taxes earlier this week. I usually wait till the very last minute to get it done. But I need my refund for the door and also to pay off my credit card. So it'll come in handy.

Helping me also on that front is a recently announced 3% raise I got at my job. According to my new boss, not everybody was getting raises this year. Assuming Remoboss2 is telling the truth, I have to say that I'm stoked to be one of the lucky few. Either I'm doing something right or I'm severely underpaid. *LOL*.

On the dating front, my dating experiences have been depressing. It's the usual crap. I think I may just have to accept the fact that I'll pretty much be single for the rest of my life. It's too much bullshit out there.

Being single is not so bad though. I admit though I am getting more set in my ways. So I don't know if I'll ever get to the point where I could live with another guy. But never say never right?

Hemingway I need to catch up on everyone else's lives. I hope you all are doing great in the O-10.

Naked Sushi

2010-01-31T12:19:00.001-06:00

This would be an interesting place to enjoy sushi (aside from the obvious adjustment needed). Notice the one guy on the corner was way quiet. Guess he was too focused on the model and the food to contribute to the inane conversation.

Verizon On Blast

2010-01-06T08:00:00.001-06:00

I'm about to pull a CocoaRican and put Verizon on blast. The lack of customer service I received yesterday at one of their locations was deplorable. I walked in the store on Monday afternoon during my work break with the full intention of purchasing a USB Broadband modem and start a service plan. I did my research on modems online after being pissed with Comcast for the 500th time. They should be on blast too but I've blasted them in the past so it's Verizon's turn to be in the heat today.

Back to the Verizon store, after perusing a few items and being surprised nobody asked if I needed help, I went up to one of the counters where three associates were standing around. None of them even looked my way. I stood there and listened as two of them were planning where to go for lunch while the third was looking for some kind of cord for a desktop. Eventually he found his cord and he along with the other two associates disappeared in the back area, leaving me standing.

No 'I'll be with you in a moment' or 'Can I help you?', you know, the two basic questions that seem like common sense. I was pissed and just decided to leave the store. I guess it's not my style to make a scene. A small part of me wanted to but didn't.

I wound up ordering the modem online instead, which is probably where I should've ordered it in the first place.

But I am hoping not to let those folks get away with what they've done. I wrote a two page letter (and sealed it with a kiss) to Thomas 'T.J.' Fox, the President of the Illinois/Wisconsin Region. I researched the corporation on Hoovers.com and after getting all the titles of the folks in their corporate office. Of course I saw the overall CEO Ivan Seidenberg but he's way too on the top of the food chain so I knew I had to find regional folks. Hoovers revealed the job titles of all their top execs without their names (I think you have to pay to get it). But I did a search on his title and found his name. A quick verification on Chicagobusiness.com website verified him and this site also verified him along with other top brass as well.

So my plan is to send the letter detailing what happened that afternoon and basically I'll be interested in seeing what he says or does. I also plan to do a delivery confirmation to make sure it's received.

It may take five months for me to hear anything back but at least he's in a position to take action. And I know these stores have incentives to be among the top stores so they can get their little rewards. So this would be something that may lower their ranking.

Besides I still have my cell phone service with AT&T. I was thinking about switching to Verizon but I may have to hold off on that.

Tired Out

2010-01-03T13:13:00.005-06:00

As I mentioned in my last entry I was involved in a car accident on Thanksgiving day. The car accident was only the latest in a series of tire mishaps I experienced in 2009. I've had more issues with tires last year than any other time in my driving career. I'm hoping I get a break from those in 2010. 2010 is still young...*LOL*.

What happened Thanksgiving was that I was making my usual trek to Detroit. Things were going normal. I alternated being listening to music and chatting on the phone with Eugene. I was on the phone with Eugene as I crossed the Indiana/Michigan border. We were talking about various mundane happenings in our lives when suddenly I heard what sounded my rear passenger tire blowing out.

I remembered panicking to Eugene that I "think my tire blew out". At the time I was going at least 70mph (probably 75-80) on the far left lane in Benton Harbor, MI. I quickly assessed that there wasn't any immediate cars around me so I tried to slow down to make my way over to the right lane. That was probably a bad idea since the tire that blew out was the rear passenger. I felt the car start to spin out but I briefly gained control back. Next second the car spun out again, this time beyond my control. I screamed as I spun around on the expressway, under an overpass, and eventually spinning into a ditch near the entryway.

Thankful that the car didn't flip over, I reached for my phone to redial Eugene to tell him I was okay. Several cars stopped along the side of the road to check up on me. I told Eugene that I was fine and would call him back while the passerby's (including a nurse and an off-duty EMS worker) checked for my well being.

At the time I was quite shaken but was able to get out of the car. Another witness mentioned that I was driving on the rim of that tire for a few miles. I was stunned since I checked my tires before taking the road trip and everything at the time was okay (aside from putting a little air on the front passenger tire).

Moments later a local Benton Harbor police officer came by. The folks that stopped gave their versions of what they saw before they all took off for their holiday destinations. Thankfully there were no other cars involved in the accident. I gave the officer my insurance and license information. He went back to his squad car to fill out a report while I went back to the car to empty some of the contents into a duffel bag I happen to bring along for the trip. I meanwhile called my Mom and Dad to fill them in on the situation and to ensure them that I was fine and needed to work on what to do next. I called Tasha and Trina and gave them the same update.

Within another few minutes, I saw a tow truck make its way down the service drive. A lucky thing about the accident (if you can call it luck) is that I ended up in the ditch by the entryway to the expressway. That no doubt made it easier for the local departments to get to me.

The police officer gave me back my items along with a police report number for insurance purposes. Once the tow truck guy began his work to tow my car up, the officer left. I meanwhile was keeping Eugene appraised of my situation via text messaging.

I was debating between going to emergency to check myself out (my wrist started aching). Only thing was that my car was currently out of commission so I was at the mercy of the tow truck. What was worse was that it was Thanksgiving day and since Benton Harbor is a small town a lot of auto shop places were closed.

So TowguyD wanting to get me going on to Detroit worked on changing my bad tire with the spare one. I myself wasn't comfortable though driving with a doughnut tire all the way to Detroit, which from my vantage point was almost another three hours. TowguyD towed my car over to his shop and proceeded to change the damaged tire with the spare.

I lost my front fender in the accident when I spun into the ditch. I didn't hit any signs, poles, or anything else but the tires and wheels were filled with dirt and grass debris. There were also some scratches along the body of the car. He replaced my damaged tire and assessed that the other tires were okay.

After paying $225 for the towing, I decided I wanted to get myself checked out. Luckily I had my Garmin so I drove myself to a local hospital. Upon arriving to the hospital I discovered that both of my front tires were low on air.

It was raining cats and dogs as I ran into emergency. I filled out the paperwork as I explained to the front attendant the nature of my visit. The attendant told me to go in the waiting area. Figuring I'd be a while I called my parents to give them a quick update. But within minutes I was ushered by a nurse's assistant.

She took my blood pressure and it was 159/108. Scary but surprisingly the nurse made no real comment about it. Maybe it's common in car accidents to have the pressure rise dramatically. I explained to the doctor the pain I was feeling in the wrist and I started feeling other random body aches as well. He did a general check and aside from the aches, everything was fine. He gave me a prescription for extra strength Tylenol (or some derivative of it). I decided that if I felt pain by the next day I would get it filled.

An hour and a half later I decided to make my way to a gas station to fill my tires. I found one within a few miles and did so. I had gotten some hotel information from Eugene earlier. There was no way in hell I was going to drive to Detroit with my car in the condition it was. And it was a good thing I decided to go to emergency instead, otherwise I could've had another accident.

Since there were literally no restaurants open in Benton Harbor (not even McDonald's or Burger King), my bigger concern was what I would do as far as food. I only had a couple breakfast bars earlier while driving along and I was getting hungry. On the one hand it was nice that the corporate greed Eugene preached against before wasn't alive and well for most businesses in Benton Harbor but on the other when emergencies such as mine happen on a holiday and you're in the middle of nowhere, you're kinda stuck.

As I made my way to the hotel, I saw a local Walgreen's that happened to be open. I drove there (discovered that my front tires were still losing air) and bought some snacks that would have to do for my dinner. It wasn't ideal but at least I wouldn't starve.

I went to find another gas station but unfortunately the one I hit had a broken air machine. I decided I'd have to make my way to the hotel and hope I wouldn't get into another accident. I wound up having to hop on the expressway again to get to the hotel. Those were the scariest 3 miles on the expressway as I had my flashers on only able to go about 30 mph.

By the grace of God I made it to my hotel in one piece. God was truly watching out for me that day. I just came away from an accident relatively unhurt aside from a few aches. Had it happened on another stretch of the trip things could've turned out differently. My car on the other hand was looking straight up like an abandoned vehicle with its exposed front and flat front tires. All I needed was the cement blocks on all my four wheels and broken glass to complete the look.

I entered the holiday lobby and was served by the nicest young lady. She honestly looked like a modern day Jan Brady. But I told her I needed a room and after hearing the circumstances of what happened, she mentioned that the hotel was serving Thanksgiving dinner with all the fixings to everyone at the hotel and told me to go get a plate.

There were two other young ladies (both black) sitting in the lobby. I later found out that they cooked a lot of the meal.

I said it before but I really believe God was looking out for me. I just knew I would be eating popcorn and chips for dinner that night. Ironically I was actually looking for Red Roof Inn as the place I would stay at and accidentally stumbled upon the former Best Western Hotel. The attendant mentioned that the hotel was currently owned by a bank due to foreclosure. I bet that Red Roof probably wouldn't have the free dinner.

So after taking my luggage to my room and updating Trina, Tasha, and Eugene, I made my way back to the lobby and served myself dinner. It was a lot of food and I happened to be the first one to get to it (since it was around 5pm). I filled up on stuffing, turkey, ham, string beans, and corn bread. There was even some chitterlings. But I passed on those since I don't really trust anyone else's chitterlings but my Mom's (and she hasn't made that in years). For drinks there was only soda, which I actually don't drink much of these days. But by some miraculous chance there was a lone Miller Lite in the fridge. Jan Brady was nice enough to let me have it and said after the day I had, I deserved it.

Afterwards I went back to fill up on desert, which included Upside Down Pineapple cake, Red Velvet cake, Sweet Potato pie, and German Chocolate Cake. It was a feast.

Needless to say I was full for the rest of the day as I made my way back to my room. I called my parents to tell them all about the dinner I had. Since I couldn't make it for my Mom's dinner, it was the next best thing. Then I took a nap and woke up and wound up watching Beyonce's Thanksgiving promotion. I swear that girl needs to take a five year hiatus. But whatever.

The next morning I woke up and after calling the insurance company to get a claim number, I quickly walked to the nearby McDonald's for breakfast. I wanted to go to the nicer pancake house next door but there was a huge line and I needed to check out by 11am. I also had to get my car tires taken care of.

So after breakfast and checking out of the hotel, I wound up calling another tow truck company that towed me to a local Discount Tire. Apparently everybody and their Mama was at Discount Tire instead of at the mall for the first official shopping day of Christmas. I wound up staying there for nearly two hours while waiting for my two rear tires to be replaced and a determination that grass/debris was blocking the air valves on the front tires, which caused them to go flat.

I then had the daunting task of deciding if I wanted to continue my journey to Detroit with my fender messed up or drive back to Chicago, which was closer. My concerns for driving to Detroit in my car was that the messed up fender would give guys up to no good reason to think my car was abandoned and decide to break into it. Not to mention would I really want to drive to Detroit and then drive back to Chicago with the fender missing and exposing the interior to the environment. At least if I made it back to Chicago, I could get the car serviced locally.

But then I thought about my family and how disappointing it'd be not to see them. Plus with winter rearing its ugly head there wouldn't be too many opportunities to make another trek.

In the end I decided to rent a car at Enterprise and have my current car repaired in Benton Harbor by the same tow company (which also had a body shop) that rescued me from my accident. I arrived in Detroit Friday evening. I gave both my parents extra long hugs.

So Enterprise wound up giving me a shitty car (Kia Spectra) that I managed to make it in to Detroit and back. The alignment was off and both front tires were balding. At first I thought I was still shaken from the accident and was being jittery (which I was to a degree) but I found out about the issue after getting back to Chicago. I swear if I had another blowout, I would've been too through.

After using Eugene to haggle with Enterprise, they gave me another car. It wound up being a Ford Focus (which I must say, Ford's come a long way from their Found On Road Dead days). My car was ready a week and a half later and I wound up driving back to Benton Harbor to pick it up.

Needless to say that was quite a crazy experience and aside from paying for the car and bills I incurred while stranded, I'm still dealing with the insurance company as far as my emergency visit. But I'm grateful to be still breathing.

Chopped & Screwed 2010

2010-01-02T20:30:00.005-06:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

2010 is shaping up to be a screwed and choppy year for me. But not necessarily in a bad way as you'll later read. Actually just to summarize on my holiday, it went fine. I trained it to Detroit on Christmas Eve and stayed until the 29th. This year for Secret Santa I had my Mom's name. I wound up getting her a basket of lotion, hand soap, and body gels from Bath & Body Works. For good measure I also got my Godmother the same. My Dad had my name for Secret Santa and he went and bought me a new Bed in a Bag. I did need some new sheets so that was cool. I have to admit it's nice seeing my Dad actually buying gifts. It's a bit of a reversal of roles since my Mom usually bought all the gifts growing up. Now it's my Mom that's slipped in the gift buying department. Its mostly due to the Parkinson's and her not being able to drive. She was so happy to have my Dad's name for Secret Santa. She actually bought his gift after the holidays while I took her shopping. That left Tasha and Trina with having each other's names.

As far as the "coming out to my parents" deal I blogged about last year (hee), I'm wavering again. But I did finally tell my older sis Tasha about it on our way to dinner with my younger sis. So both of my sisters officially know. I knew it would be a nonevent and even prefaced it by telling Tasha that I knew she already knew, which she did.

I decided to make an effort to be closer to both my sisters by treating them to dinner. Since Trina worked late we wound up going to a Chinese buffet closer to her job. We had a nice time catching up and the hope is we'll get together more often in 2010.

Since having my car accident last November on Thanksgiving no less (yeah I didn't get a chance to blog about that), I'm realizing that I need to make a greater effort to connect with my family. We're only on the Earth for such a short time and tomorrow isn't guaranteed for anyone.

I even got to hang out with Eugene while he was in Detroit. Actually he needed a place to crash after Christmas in Chicago for a day or so before his friend (lost love Larry) drove from his place in Wisconsin to pick him up, their ultimate destination being the 2010 Sugar Bowl (whereever it was...*LOL*). I wasn't going to be home during that time so we needed to meet so I could give him my keys.

So all in all it was a full holiday. I ended 2009 getting tipsy on a date. This happened on December 30th. I met this guy TopChef from Springfield, IL who was visiting his family in Northwest Indiana for dinner. We had a nice time. I guess I had too nice a time drinking a total of one rum/coke, a half bottle of Pinot Noir (with our dinner), and later on two Pomegranate Cosmos and a lager beer. TopChef drank as much as I did but he was better able to handle his liquor. I was tipsy enough that I had to get a hotel (well TopChef did) where we of course made out madly but didn't have full blown sex. He had such suction with his mouth that he nearly pulled my tongue out my socket a few times.

Since I was tipsy on the 30th I limited my alcohol on New Year's Eve to two drinks, though that didn't stop me from getting a drink spilled on me in the wee hours of 2010 while dancing at a nightclub.

Ain't that screwed and chopped up? But that's not as screwed and chopped as some of these songs I found on YouTube. Apparently screwed and chopped music originated from Houston, Texas in the mid 90's. I guess I missed that somehow. Perhaps not living in Houston played a role. Apparently it's a way of remixing hip-hop music to play in a slower beat. The results are funny but oddly enough enticing. In fact some of the songs sound even better after getting the "chopped and screwed" treatment. I'll close my blog with a few selections that I liked. I will definitely be looking for more "chopped and screwed" music in the future.

Mariah Carey - We Belong Together

Kut Klose - I Like

Aaliyah - One In A Million

Alexander O'Neal - If You Were Here Tonight

Phil Collins/Jeffrey Osbourne - Easy Lover

R.I.P. Alaina & Britney

2009-12-22T09:03:00.011-06:00

I was doing some random website reading and was sad to hear that actress Alaina Reed Hall died a few days ago. She's most famous for playing a photographer on the long time series Sesame Street. But I will always remember her as Rose from the series 227.

She died from breast cancer and was 63. Her passing of course won't get nearly the hoopla that Michael Jackson's did but nonetheless it's truly a sad time in the entertainment world. But I know she'll be saying hi to her neighbor Pearl (Helen Martin) in heaven.

Also I found out yesterday that Britney Murphy from Clueless fame died. There's rampant speculation that she was anorexic. And from some pictures I would admit that a sandwich or two might have done her some good. But an official autopsy is being done to determine her cause of death, which early reports say was a heart attack. She was only 32. Damn.

R.I.P. Britney and Alaina.

I'm Gay

2009-12-22T09:00:00.001-06:00

I can hear all the duhs from the few readers I have left....*LOL*. I was watching this movie with a recent date called Mambo Italiano and one particular line in the movie stood out for me. I can't exactly phrase it word for word but essentially the main character is struggling with coming out to his parents. He basically says something like he would hate for them to die not knowing who he really is.

So of course that got me to thinking again about my situation. Yeah yeah yeah....they know. But it's unofficial of course.

I actually wrote a letter earlier this year that I still need to mail. The trigger for writing it was my Dad telling my Mom (in front of me) that he told someone that he gave up asking about my personal life. What bought that up was him running into a long time friend at his Church that started asking him questions about my sisters and I. One of them of course was if I had someone in my life. The questions of course were invasive but I'm sure common among folks discussing their kids.

I was upset by the comment but of course kept my feelings to myself. I went to the guestroom I always stay at during my visit and cried for about ten minutes. Oddly enough I started singing to myself the PCD song "I Hate This Part". Particularly I was singing "I gotta do it. I gotta do it. I gotta do it. I hate this part." Oddly enough again those particular lines were appropriate for my situation.

I was feeling emboldened enough after I wiped my tears and cleared my eyes out to tell my parents during breakfast. So fast forward to breakfast time sitting with my parents and I started feeling queasy. I just couldn't say the words. Same thing happened throughout the day.

So I left without saying anything. But soon as I got home, I wrote a letter. It goes like this...

Dear Mom and Dad,

I'm gay. It's something I've come to terms with a few years ago. I wanted to tell the truth Mom when you've asked me but at the time I wasn't ready to make it official. It took me a while to accept it myself. I realize though that my being gay is just a small part of who I am.

I've had those feelings most of my childhood. It had nothing to do with how I was raised. I truly believe my being gay was something I was born with.

You both were (and still are) very good parents. You taught me a lot of positive values that gave me the tools needed to get through life and be the positive member of society that I am today.

I truly wish I had the courage to tell you this news face to face. There were several times I wanted to say something but the words never came out.

One of my biggest fears was that I would lose your love if I told you. The thought of you not loving me anymore really hurt and kept me from sharing.

At the same time I know there is rampant speculation on why I'm not married yet and why I haven't started a family. As I get older, I realize the speculation will only increase.

A part of me needs to come out just so I can end the speculation. Its one thing when people outside of my immediate family (coworkers, church members, for example) wonders about you. Honestly I could care less what they think. But I do care about you both and I don't want to keep you in the dark about this anymore. The only way I found that worked for me was to write this letter.

Now that the proverbial cat is out of the bag "officially", know that I will always love you. I know finding out about me this way may be a bit of a hard pill to swallow. If you want to ask me about anything, I'm hoping this letter helps to reopen the lines of communication.

I love you both.

E

So that's the letter. I just need to drop it in the mail or leave it behind the next time I visit, which will be in a couple days.

Wildflower Moment

2009-12-07T20:00:00.000-06:00

Wildflower - Skylark

Verse 1:
She's faced the hardest times you could imagine
And many times her eyes fought back the tears
And when her youthful world was about to fall in
Each time her slender shoulders
Bore the weight of all her fears
And a sorrow no one hears
Still rings in midnight silence in her ears

Chorus:
Let her cry, for she's a lady
Let her dream, for she's a child
Let the rain fall down upon her
She's a free and gentle flower growing wild

Bridge:
And if by chance I should hold her
Let me hold her for a time
But if allowed just one possession
I would pick her from the garden to be mine

Verse 2:
Be careful how you touch her for she'll awaken
And sleep's the only freedom that she knows
And when you walk into her eyes you won't believe
The way she's always paying
For a debt she never owes
And a silent wind still blows
That only she can hear and so she goes

Repeat Chorus

I knew when I heard Lisa Fischer sing the song Wildflower that it was a remake from another artist. I just didn't know who. The original artist of Wildflower was the group Skylark. Just like Cyndi Lauper's Time After Time, Wildflower it turns out became one of the most remade songs by various artists. Over fifty different artists have remade the song according to this site. Johnny Mathis (no video on YouTube exists...would love to hear his version) and The O'Jays were among the first to do so. Even rap artist Tupac used it as a sample on Shorty Wanna Be A Thug.

Hearing a few of the different renditions, including original recipe Skylark, I have to say that Lisa Fischer's version is the one that I liked the best. It just has that edge in it and Luther's brief cameo in it put the cherry on top. Mmm cherries. Time for some Cherry Vanilla ice cream.

RIO Top Ten - Round 3

2009-11-21T17:30:00.003-06:00

Some newer readers may be wondering why I'm titling this entry the way I've done. Some may be asking themselves what exactly is a RIO?

The RIO was this brand of MP3 player that I owned four years ago. The title mentions it is round 3 because both rounds 1 and 2 occurred around the same time I owned the RIO.

Basically each round consisted of the top ten songs that I've been jamming to at the time. I no longer have that RIO since it broke on me. It's been replaced with an I-pod I won from my job in a random raffle. I also listen to music via Pandora, a free web-radio interface on Blackberry.

So without further delay, here's my latest top ten songs that I've been jamming to from bottom to the top. These are the top songs that keep me in line during my workouts in and out of the gym.

10) Just Dance, Lady Gaga, The Fame Monster - The truth is I'm not the biggest fan of Lady Gaga. The version of Just Dance that I linked isn't even the version that I like. But her remix of the song is on point. Though mostly I like the rapper interlude where he makes references to Ciara's 1, 2 Step song. Funny thing, that version also has a nicer bass sound. It's that sound that quickly commands my attention whether I'm grooving in the car or moving around in the gym.

9) I Hate This Part - Pussycat Dolls, Doll Domination - Call me crazy for loving these stripper girls. Just about all their singles are catchy if not following the same formula. Then again if it's not broke, why fix it. This particular song seems to bring out strong emotions of remorse everytime it plays. I watch the video every so often, even though I have to ignore the fact that the PCD girls are being all seductive in a desert while Nicole sings at the beginning that she and her beau are driving slow in the snow on 5th Avenue. Why don't videos even try to relate to the lyrics anymore? Hemingway she gets me when she gets all dramatic in the end going "I gotta do it. I gotta do it." Good song to jam to on the elliptical when I got to do those last couple minutes to make it an hour.

8) Circus, Britney Spears, Circus - I think this may have been Britney's 2nd comeback album. But the title song off her album is a real treat to listen. I like it mostly because my life sometimes feels like a circus with the juggling of work, family, and men. And what better song to get through the circus of free weight machines than the aptly titled one from Britney. I also like her distinction in saying there's only two types of people in the world, those who entertain and those who observe. Guess which category I fall under?

7) Scandalous, Mis-Teeq, Mis-Teeq - This group is originally from Britain and the single Scandalous was the first one to my knowledge to hit the states. When I first started hearing it, I remember being turned out by the pulsating hypnotic beats. It's a pretty seductive song and it's one of those songs that makes you want to shake your booty at the gym. But since I'm at the gym, it does give me the energy to pump up an extra two ab curls.

6) I Want You, Pa ris Avenue featuring Robin One, I Want You - Pandora decided to go complete random on me one evening and this song popped in. Sometimes I gloss through these selections because they're off the wall. I usually give a song at least ten seconds before I decide to do so. I Want You grabbed me especially when the male singer took the reins. I assume his name is Robin One, no idea. But he kind of was giving me vintage George Michael with his voice. Either way it was very hypnotic and I found myself hoping if I ran into Robin One (or a guy I really like at the gym), that he'd want me like I wanted him. Even if I don't go and introduce myself. Corny I know...*LOL*.

5) Cry Me A River, J ustin Timberlake, FutureSex / LoveSounds - Justin really stepped his game when releasing this album. As with most songs I like, it's usually something in the lyrics that brings me to enjoy the song. What did it for me was Justin's taunting of said ex-girlfriend who basically didn't appreciate what she had with him and now that she's getting the same treatment from the new person she's with, she shouldn't come crying to him. It's that whole 'the grass is always greener on the other side but it really isn't' scenario. So next time someone dumps you, in the event they try to come back to you, tell them to go fuck themselves and go cry themselves a river.

4) You Gets No Love, Faith Evans, Faithfully - I love how the song starts off with Faith singing "I Know It's Not Too Ghetto" knowing damn well that her pose on the album cover and the video of You Gets No Love shows her at her most ghetto state. This song is definitely the jam even years later. I usually have it playing on repeat at least a half dozen times before moving on to the next song. The video has Faith doing the rap instead of P. Diddy and since I prefer Faith's version, I was disappointed that version didn't make the album. I like how I can apply this song to some many zeros I've dated over the years.

3) Yeah!, Usher, Confessions - Usher to me has always been a hit or miss artist. I liked a few of his songs from his albums but have only been motivated to buy one of his albums, of which the songs I liked weren't from the one I'm highlighting here. But Yeah! is one of those songs that keeps you awake and you can't help but think of Usher's dance moves while trying to make your own moves. That's my honest confession.

2) We Break The Dawn, Michelle Williams, Unexpected - Of course she's more famous as being the bridge girl of Destiny's Child. Her previous two releases were gospel themed so the expectation was that she would release another gospel album. To everyone's surprise, she released a more house sounding album and in the process found a genre that best suits her voice. It's a shame that Unexpected was mostly slept on. Her lead single here serves as a nice techno rich boom that is perfect for when focusing on your arm muscles.

AnD ThE NumbeR OnE TunE PlayinG ON MY RiO!!!!!!

1) Maneater, Nelly Furtado, Loose - There was a lot of controversy when Nelly released this particular album. A lot of folks felt like she was selling out from her folksy style of music. Nelly's own explanation was that she was trying something different because she was at a different place in her life (with recently having a child). So she worked alongside Timbaland and this jam was one of the masterpieces that came off that album. Maneater is absolutely the top favorite jam I listen to when at the gym and on the road. I Like to imagine myself as this Maneater, even though I'm nowhere close to that.

So with that this concludes this edition of RIO Top Ten, even though technically I don't have a RIO no more. What tunes do you all listen to these days?

McGraw Rant

2009-11-18T09:01:00.000-06:00

This rant is so old news but I've been reading on Television Without Pity about 11/16's episode of the View (because lord knows I don't care to watch much of that dreck anymore, even on the days I work from home...*LOL*). But apparently Tim McGraw (and tell me that's not really him...*LOL*) was on the view harping about Kayne West's hijacking of Taylor Swift at the VMA's. When did that happen again? That's so old news. Kayne is a egotistical jerk (the remix of Beyonce's EGO with his intro perfectly displays that) but everyone knows that. I will have to watch that episode on Hulu.com to see if McGraw's comments bordered of being racist (as was alluded to by some of the posters). Of course anyone who saw the episode can chime in anytime.

But that aside, Kayne apologized to Taylor. Taylor accepted the apology. If anything Taylor should be sending Kayne a "Thank You" note for making her more famous. She's had appearances everywhere including Saturday Night Live. So I don't think she's hurting anymore.

Anyway I need to get to work.

Dream Job

2009-11-15T13:56:00.001-06:00

I promise I'll be typing more soon.

Got Hunk?

2009-11-12T16:13:00.002-06:00

The Pretenders

2009-10-05T23:05:00.000-05:00

Pretender - Madonna

[Chorus 1]
He's a pretender
He knows just what to say
He's a pretender
Yeah, you meet him every day
He's a pretender
That fish that got away
He's a pretender
Why'd I fall in love

[Verse 1]
It was so strange
The way he held my hand
I wanted more
Than just a one night stand
He had a way
Of making me believe
That he was mine
And that he'd never leave

I know that I should take my friend's advice
Cuz if it happened once, you know it happens twice
If there's a chance then I know I've got to try
I'll make him dance with me,
I'll make him tell me why

He's a pretender
He's a pretender

[Bridge 1]
I'm not afraid to fall a hundred times
And I'll believe in all your silly lies
I'd like to think that I could change your mind
Don't say that I am blind, I know all about your kind

[Chorus 2]
He's a pretender
Yeah, you meet him every day
He's a pretender
That fish that got away
He's a pretender
Why'd I fall in love

[Verse 2]
I like the way
He moved across the floor
And when he danced with me I know he wanted more
But in the dark
Things happened much too fast
I should've stopped him
Then, I knew it wouldn't last

I know that I should take my friend's advice
Cuz if it happened once, you know it happens twice
If there's a chance then I know I've got to try
I'll make him dance with me, I'll make him tell me why

[Repeat Bridge 1]

[Bridge 2]
You lied, you lied, you lied, you lied
You lied, you lied, you lied, you lied
You lied, you lied, you lied, you lied
You lied, you lied, I know all about your kind

[Chorus 3]
He's a pretender
He's a pretender
He's a pretender
Why'd I fall in love

[Repeat Chorus 1]

[Repeat Chorus 3 and ad lib]

I've referenced Madonna a couple times throughout my blog. But this is the first time to my knowledge that I've made reference to her lyrics. But this song seems so appropriate in relation to my recent dealings with men.

There have been three men I've chatted with in the last month or so that seems to come roaring out of the gates but then fizzles out and turns into the typical game playing that men do.

Case 1: Hotrod.

So sad. You remember I blogged about my wonderful first date with Hotrod on Labor Day weekend. What I didn't mention in that entry is that we had a follow up date the next day. He came over to my place brandishing movies and I warmed up the leftovers from the date we had yesterday. It turned out he said he wasn't hungry because of eating something earlier at work.

Hemingway we watched The Hangover, a funny movie that I actually wanted to see when it came out in theatres but didn't get around to. He happened to have a bootleg copy of it along with Fast & Furious (with sexy ass Vin Diesel) and Underworld: Rise Of The Lycans. The other movies he left with me.

The evening date I thought went well. We watched the movie, I ate some of my leftovers, and afterwards we made out a bit. And clothes didn't come off. He first arrived ten minutes before six and left a few minutes after eight pm. He said that he works at 4am.

I honestly thought the second date went great and it really felt like we were getting to know each other. But I notice HotRod wasn't as responsive to me. We mostly texted anyway but even those became less and less. I found myself initiating the texts more and more and sometimes he wouldn't necessarily respond.

At first I thought he may have thought I was lying about visiting my family in Detroit (which I did the following weekend). I was a bit vague about the timing since I had contemplated visiting a prospective guy in St. Louis that following Thursday. That meeting didn't happen (because of bad taxi service....American Taxi was a no show at my place) and subsequently I realized that I didn't really have an attraction to the St. Louis guy.

But when I texted him some more after my Detroit visit and suggested meeting him, he claimed to have the flu and that his Mom was at his place. That alone could've been taken at face value if in later days he didn't claim to have injured his knee and a week later have a bum shoulder (that would take six weeks to heal).

I told him if his interest in me has changed he should let me know and that would be fine. But he claims that's not the case.

Madonna (singing): He's a pretender.

Case 2: OldGlory

This guy who I'm calling OldGlory is a dude I met on that social networking site I keep visiting for some odd reason...*LOL*. His profile claimed that he was 48 years old, 6'2 and 200+ lbs of Muscular build. He claims in his ad to be a regular Joe Schmoe of quality and good old fashioned down to earthiness.

I liked his message and his pictures. I was more attracted to the body than his face but it wasn't like his face could crack a mirror (totally) so I emailed him. To my surprise he quickly gave me his real email address and told me not to be shy about using it.

I was impressed. Most guys like to play the okey doke initially. So I decided I'd email him for the heck of it. I did and within minutes I got an email back with his phone number.

I was thinking...damn. Either he's desperate or he is a straight up guy that doesn't beat around the bush. Assuming the latter, I gave him a call. He didn't answer but I left a message. The voice was very deep and manly, definite turn on.

So he actually called me back thirty minutes later saying that he's on the road heading to Wisconsin with his best friend and that best friends kids to some outing. I wasn't clear about it but it sounded like some fair-like event. But he told me to send him a few more pics of myself. That should've been a sign right there but...Hemingway.

So throughout the day we're texting back and forth and I sent him three more pics of myself throughout the day. We even talked on the phone a couple times throughout that. The messages were very positive and I was actually eager to meet him. I suggested that it'd be cool to meet sometime tomorrow and he said that was fine.

So tomorrow comes and I send him a quick text asking how he's doing. It takes him awhile but he texts back saying he's fine and that his friend and said friend's kids were leaving to go back to Michigan. I was like cool. So I said it'd be cool to meet today. He agreed and then I suggested lunchtime around 1pm. I heard nothing else.

I made mention to my friend Eugene about this guy and after I shared his information, Eugene recognized him as a guy he spoke to years ago. He said that OldGlory was just as quick responding to him but then backed up when Eugene asked him how old his pics were. Now we may be getting somewhere.

So Hemingway OldGlory called me around 1pm while I'm chatting with Eugene. I didn't switch over so OldGlory left a message telling me to call back. I got off the phone with Eugene fifteen minutes later and then I called OldGlory back. I got his voicemail and I left a message.

I heard nothing else from OldGlory for the rest of the day. I got a bit pissy and sent him an email message around 6pm telling him I didn't appreciate being dissed. That was unfortunately not cool on my part but I felt like things were moving along so great I couldn't understand why we haven't met. He calls me a minute later (since he has a Blackberry and got the email) and basically questions why I would say such a thing since we never agreed on a time.

Unfortunately OldGlory was right there. He technically weasled himself out of agreeing to meet by not responding. He conveniently claimed to be taking a nap and was presently hanging out (probably living...*LOL*) with his mother.

I begrudgingly admitted my wrongdoing and we hung up. In thinking about it, I kept wondering why he was so anxious to get pictures of me. I mean he saw what I looked like on my profile and I saw him. It then dawned on me what Eugene said. Eugene mentioned how OldGlory clammed up when Eugene asked about his pictures and old how they were(which actually as of today were the same ones Eugene saw years back).

It made me realize that OldGlory most likely wasn't who he said he was. He may have looked like the guy in those pics at one time but may have let himself go. That is likely why he was insistent on seeing pics of me. Though I don't know what made him think I may not be showing my old glory days myself. He wanted to see if I was telling the truth about how I look. Plus it's likely he's older than 48. All this could be why he evaded meeting me.

But why did he act like an eager beaver to begin with. Whatever the reason...

Madonna (singing): He's a pretender.

Case #3: Chad

Before you all flip out (this is for the old school followers of my blog...*LOL*), I'm not talking about that Chad. The reason why I call this third guy Chad is that honestly he's not worthy of his own nickname. So for the first time in my four and a half year history of blogging, I'm recycling a name.

Chad's message on the previously mentioned social networking site was actually quite inviting. Then again most guys try to put their best foot forward when pretending.

His message said: "I would like to meet a great guy that is looking for more than the usual hook-up. If you are that guy, hit me up! Friendship is a great thing!"

Yeah we've heard that message before in various forms, I know. But I thought hmm maybe this guy will be different. Plus I liked his stats (heh...I'm such a sucker for those...*LOL*)

Chad's case is actually relatively quick (even though the culmination of his bs took two weeks). Day 1 I send him a message. He looks to be online but he doesn't reply. Day 3 he replies back.

Right off I should've left it alone but it is possible to be online but not be online if you know what I mean. So hoping we could actually have a real time chat, I sent him my email address. He got my message Day 4 but didn't reply. Day 5 he finally replied but not via my email.

So I asked him why he didn't email me on Day 6 (I mean why should I reply back right away...*LOL*). On Day 7 Chad asked what would he say on my email.

Yeah yeah yeah I know....but you know how stubborn I can be....*LOL*. And besides isn't this more interesting to blog about...*LOL*. So Hemingway I actually replied on Day 7 with a joke message on what he could say. That same day actually (but hours later) he responded back retyping that joke message on A4A of course.

Not to be deterred (yeah I can be a fool...*LOL*) on Day 8 (which was last Monday) I tell him that it would be nice to at least chat in real-time and maybe we should set an appointment. I suggest 6pm on Wednesday. He claims that he has some virus in his laptop that he needs to get fixed but Wedneday should be fine.

So Wednesday comes and I actually wind up working late so I don't log in at 6pm. I logged in the next day (this is Day 11) and I see he sent a message around midnight Wednesday asking for my whereabouts.

I made the assumption that he himself was likely not there at 6pm so on Day 12 I said...'I thought we said 6'. He actually replied that same day (shocking again I know) and asked what I mean by 6. I wondered if this guy is as stupid as he's acting but I replied back that same day that I was referring to the 6pm appointment for a real time chat. I added that technically since it was the first time in nearly two weeks that he actually replied the same day I sent a message that it was kind of a start of a real-time chat. True to form he replies back on Day 14. He says 'What about 6pm?'.

I finally had enough and let him have it on his bullshit. I basically told him what he already knew. He had no intention of getting to know me since I gave him an avenue to do so and he didn't do anything with it. He replied back that he was glad to find out about my being crazy and good luck on finding a guy (yeah I was crazy enough to continue this farce of a charade for two weeks I guess...*LOL*). I replied back that if calling him out on his bullshit meant that I'm crazy, then yes I was. I also thanked him for being a jerk before I got to know him (since he saved me wasting my time...other than the two week pointless banter...*LOL*) . And then I blocked his simple ass. Yup...

Madonna (singing): He's a pretender.

So many pretenders out there to the throne. Yeah unfortunately I know all about their kind. Damn. Take it away Madonna.

Maple Syrup

2009-10-03T18:45:00.000-05:00

Well it's official. I was going back and forth over where I wanted to travel for my birthday. After thinking it over, I decided on Toronto. To tell you the truth, I haven't planned exactly what I'm going to do once I'm there. I may need to make a trip to Border's and find a Toronto guide so I can come up with some ideas. I know I do want to check out the nightlife of course. I assume I'll want to hang out downtown. Maybe I'll check out the Toronto Eaton Centre, which is reputed to be the busiest mall in Toronto.

I'm stoked too because I was able to book a 4-star hotel for $66 a night on hotwire. I just need to figure out whether I should rent a car or not. So much to learn in so little time.

I am looking forward to this though. I'm basically an open canvas. If anyone has any hot ideas for what I can see or do while in Toronto, feel free to let me know. I'm there from the 10th through the 13th of October.

Buffalo Stance

2009-09-28T23:00:00.001-05:00

Happiness is finally walking into a local Chicago area Subway and finding out they have Buffalo Chicken on their menu. I've only been waiting three years to try that sub. It's available for a limited time so of course the minute I saw it, I had to try it. So after the long wait, was it worth it you say? It was good, not the best. But I was satiated.

Speaking of Buffalo Stance....check out this classic song from the 80's.:

Promiscuous Boy

2009-09-23T10:00:00.003-05:00

Promiscuous - Nelly Furtado (with Timbaland)

Pre-Chorus
Nelly: Am i throwin' you off?
Timbs: Nope
N: Didn’t think so

Verse 1
T: How you doin’ young lady
The feeling that you're giving really drives me crazy
You don’t have to play about the joke
I was lost with the words first time that we spoke

N: If you looking for a girl that’ll treat you right
If you lookin’ for her in the day time with the light

T: You might be the type if I play my cards right
I'll find out by the end of the night

N: You expect me to just let you hit it
But will you still respect me if you git it

T: All I can do is try, gimme one chance
What’s the problem I don’t see no ring on your hand

T: I be the first to admit it, I’m curious about you, you seem so innocent

N: You wanna get in my world, get lost in it
Boy I’m tired of running, lets walk for a minute

Chorus
T: Promiscuous girl
Wherever you are
Im' all alone
And it's you that I want

N: Promiscuous boy
You already know
That I’m all yours
What you waiting for?

T: Promiscuous girl
You're teasing me
You know what I want
And I got what you need

N: Promiscuous boy
Let's get to the point
Cause we're on a roll
Are you ready?

Verse 2
N: Roses are red
Some diamonds are blue
Chivalry is dead,
But you're still kinda cute

T: Hey! I can't keep my mind off you
who you with, do you mind if I come through

N: I’m out of this world come with me to my planet
Get you on my level do you think that you can handle it?

T: They call me Thomas
last name Crown
Recognize game
I'm a lay mine's down

N: I'm a big girl I can handle myself
But if I get lonely I’ma need your help
Pay attention to me I don't talk for my health

T: I want you on my team
N: So does everybody else.
T: *shit*

T: Baby we can keep it on the low
Let your guard down ain’t nobody gotta know
If you with it girl I know a place we can go

N: What kind of girl do you take me for?

Repeat Chorus

Bridge
T: Don't be mad, don't get mean
N: Don't get mad, don't be mean

T: Hey! Don't be mad, don't get mean
N: Don't get mad, don't be mean

T: Wait! I don't mean no harm
I can see you with my t-shirt on

N: I can see you with nothing on
feeling on me before you bring that on

T: Bring that on?
N: You know what I mean

T: Girl, I’m a freak you shouldn't say those things

N: I’m only trying to get inside your brain
To see if you can work me the way you say

T: It's okay, it's alright
I got something that you gon' like

N: Hey is that the truth or are you talking trash
Is your game M.V.P. like Steve Nash

Repeat Chorus

Outro(Repeated till fade)
N: eh o ey o

Remember Midas? He was the guy that bought out some of the freak out of me, especially when we were involved in 3-ways. Well we've been having this Nelly Furtado/Timbaland volleyball game match for a few months now. Several times he would text me and play the role of Timbs basically asking for sex (2-ways, 3-ways) and like Nelly I would tease him but ultimately deny him. This happened on three or four separate occasions. Once he even offered to come over to my place with another guy. He had expressed a phobia before about having sex with me at my place because I wasn't as neat as he was. He must've been really horny that day.

So actually a month ago he finally upped his game a bit and invited me for breakfast. At the very beginning of our trysts we used to go to breakfast either before or after the sex. But later on it turned into just sex. So him inviting me for breakfast bought me back to those beginning days. I went to breakfast with the intentions of not having sex with him. It was my first time seeing him in nearly four months. He was as hot as I remembered.

So I arrive at his place. To my surprise he was dressed and ready to go to breakfast. So we went and caught up on our lives. I told him about work and some of my latest encounters with guys. He in turn talked about his life. We really had a good time and I found myself laughing a lot. So afterwards we drive back to his place. I'm bidding my farewell to Midas and he grabs my arm and goes 'no you don't'. He then started putting his hands around my waist. Mind you this was happening outside of his apartment. Midas definitely had no shame in his game. So not wanting to make a scene I go with him inside his apartment building.

So you know what happens next. Hard as I resisted, Midas was looking too damn good and my defenses were weakened. I put up a good fight for 15 minutes but finally I gave in. We watched TV for a couple hours before eventually he needed to run an errand and I needed to head back.

Since then we've had a couple more Promiscuous Boy/Boy rounds. Yesterday's round however was really interesting. Or maybe not. He was at an all day conference near my house and wanted to come over and 'rape' me. We were going back and forth and he shocked me by texting that he missed me. The rest of the texts went like so:

Me: U miss the sex right?

Midas: You and how we are together.

Me: I don't mean to throw 20 questions at u but how are we together outside of the fabulous sex?

Midas: The way we used to talk.

Me: Yes I miss that too.

Me: I wish you liked hanging out with me more.

Midas: So you want to come to a 4 sum there is a pig bottom and I can watch you fuck?

Midas: Give it time and we can hang.

Me: Sorry got caught up in group lunch. Speaking of groups I'm not really interested in group sex or threesomes these days. Thanks for asking me.

Midas: Sad...Would have like to see you in action...What can I do to change your mind?

Me: Spend more time with me one on one. Not just sex. I enjoyed that night when we went to Whole Foods and Jewel and BBB getting your mc products. I liked when you came over and we went to Aurora outlet. Breakfast, dinners (u still haven't cooked for me yet. LOL) I know all that stuff takes time.

Me: In short, invest in me!

Midas: So how do we balance your need and my need?

Me: That is a good question. I know you have a lot going on with work, life, friends, and your own personal time. Maybe we start with a date.

That's where it ended. Where will it go next? Stay tuned.

Get Up Now!

2009-09-19T19:43:00.002-05:00

I don't watch the Bad Girls Club but I ran across this YouTube video when finding out that one of the girls was going to be on the new season of Celebrity Fit Club. Rumor has it that Whitney's former King of R&B is going to be on the show as well. If the video is any indication, CFC is one not to be missed. Imagine her having to go without some chicken wings. The craziness will ensue. Till my next blog....enjoy!

Labor For Love

2009-09-07T01:00:00.001-05:00

I was supposed to be home in Detroit for the holiday weekend. A combination of work and laziness kept me from going home. But not to worry I plan on going home next weekend. I took Friday and Monday off work to do so. I could hear in my Dad's voice his disappointment when I told him I wasn't coming. I still am amazed even years later on how much mellow my Dad's become as he's gotten older.

Parents have their own way of making their kids feel guilty. At least my parents have that effect on me. But I do love my parents so I'll definitely pay a visit.

So Hemingway I spent most of my weekend playing email, phone, and text tag with this hottie I chatted with on one of my social network sites. This past Friday was the first time I chatted with him. He had a nude picture of his nicely sculpted torso (minus his face) and his erect peewee. When I sent him a message complimenting his bod, I honestly didn't expect a response. But we exchanged emails and eventually traded numbers. He actually invited me to hang out with his friends at a bar. I declined since I was having one of my "ant-e-social" moments (at least in real life, not online). I made the suggestion that we go out bowling (hee...the irony) on Saturday. I suggested 1 PM but HotRod had a feeling he'd be hanging out real late and opted for 4PM. He said he'd call Saturday.

So Saturday comes and I don't get a call by afternoon. I decided to call him around 2pm but he sounded horrible. He told me that he stayed out till 5:30AM. Not only that but he was suffering from a huge hangover after downing several vodka and juice drinks. HotRod felt he'd be himself if we hung out early evening instead. I was skeptical but I went along with it.

Around 7:45 I got tired of waiting so I texted him and said I was making dinner for myself. He stated he was still lying in bed and didn't feel good. We texted back and forth for a bit and then we said our goodbyes for the day.

So yesterday (09/06) afternoon against my better sense I called HotRod. I got his voicemail. Twenty minutes later he sent me a text. We chatted back and forth and he apoligized for Saturday. I apologized for Friday. So I asked if he wanted to meet and he agreed to do so. We decided to meet around 4:30 for bowling and dinner.

HotRod truly was a hot rod, hence my nickname for him. He wore some form fitting blue jeans and a baseball shirt that complimented his upper body well. At 30 years old and 190 pounds, he's younger than the guys I've typically dated. He's also of Polish descent and I enjoyed hearing his accent.

He mentioned that he was a cop (and yeah he has cuffs for if we get naughty...*LOL*) so it surprised me to hear another accent coming out. It was the so-called "gay" accent. However it's a battle between his polish and gay accent with nice results. He also had a bit of a walk to him. However I was so attracted to him that I honestly didn't care.

I couldn't stop looking at him whenever it was his turn to bowl. His clothes definitely highlighted his muscular physique and I had images of his naked body in my head. We bowled a total of 4 games.

We had agreed to go to dinner afterward but it was nice knowing that neither one of us were anxious to end the date early. He got in my car and we drove to a Chinese restaurant fifteen minutes away.

Dinner was really nice and we got to know a few things more about each other. He's a Scorpio (my ex Rock is also one) so that may be interesting...again. Similar to my friend Eugene, he says what's on his mind and it doesn't matter at the time if he's hurting that person's feelings. He says in that regard that he's honest to a fault. If it's something that he truly feels, he will let it out. As I've mentioned in relation to Eugene, that's a double edge sword for me. On the one hand it's better to hear the truth but there are times when the truth can't be handled. During those times I can't handle the truth, I would get pissy but then it would force me to think. Ultimately it is better to be straightforward than to tell half-truths. It's something that I'm working to do more of.

His last relationship also lasted for two years, similar to mine. I didn't ask why it ended. I'll save that for another time.

Before I knew it dinner was over. I drove us back to the bowling alley and back to his car. We both expressed how much we enjoyed the date. There was this awkward moment where we weren't sure what the other person wanted to do. I really wanted to kiss HotRod and was trying to do all kind of nonverbal (yeah yeah yeah...straightforward honest, right ....*LOL*) actions to express that. I'm not sure if HotRod even noticed those but he leaned over towards me and I leaned to him and we exchanged an electric kiss.

It was a really nice end to a great date. I haven't had a date where things didn't end after a make out session at someone's place. It felt like a hetero date in a way. If we stay true to the hetero pattern, our third date should be the 'sex date'. Woo hoo!

The best thing about his kiss. I didn't taste any cigarette breath like I did with Colin. Digressing from HotRod for a few sentences (okay probably a paragraph or two...*LOL*)

Speaking of Colin, it appears he's officially written me off. The last correspondence I had with Colin was an email telling me his phone had been stolen from the gym. It just so happened that around that time he was also heading out to Vegas with some friends. He wanted me to give him my number so that he can add me back. I gave it to him but I haven't heard a peep from him. It's almost a month now since that email. I know he's alive because I see him logged on my social network site all the time.

I'm sure his friends (who all smoke) probably reminded him that I wasn't a big fan of the smoking. I really harped on it a few times and I'm sure they mentioned that if things were going anywhere, that would be an issue. Not to mention the distance thing would be major. I kinda wish Colin and I had a frank conversation about our feelings instead of avoiding the issue. But it's just as well.

Back to HotRod, so you know I called Eugene after our date was over to spill the tea. While Eugene and I were chatting, HotRod sent me a text telling me that I was very handsome. I told him he was a stud. While talking to Eugene, I was texting back and forth with HotRod. So we'll see where this one goes.

I also shared my date news with Sally who has some potential great news of her own. Let's just say she's been hunting for a job related to her field for almost two years now and it's possible that the search may soon be over. She's been in talks with a manager of a government contract firm in Virginia. Yeah my #1 girl may be soon leaving Chicago. I'm sad by the possibility but at the same time the Virgina/DC/Maryland area is where she wants to be. Plus I can always visit her. She also reconnected with an old love that lives in the area and things seem to be really taking off there. So it's almost like work and love may be converging for Sally. Please pray for her that she gets this blessing.

Back to me....Incidentally I have another date planned later in the week with another guy (in another state...Missouri so at least it's closer than Massaschusetts). I could hear the groans already...*LOL*. I'll share that story another time.

Where I've Been?

2009-08-19T14:35:00.000-05:00

Continuing my map theme, I actually found this cool website where you can highlight every state you've been in. In doing so, I realize I've already been in over half of the 50 states of the US.

visited 26 states (52%)
Create your own visited map of The United States or Like this? try: Google Chat Bot

To chart your own course, go to the Visited Countries webpage. They also have a world map. Hopefully someday I can fill that up...:-)

Arrows On A Map

2009-08-01T08:40:00.000-05:00

My 37th birthday is in a few months and typically since I'm still working at the place I was supposed to escape years ago (but we won't talk about that), I usually take my birthday week off to travel.

Last year of course I traveled to Honolulu, Hawaii. That was a total blast aside from the head cold I had to endure on my flights. I swear the last half hour of landing were the most excruciating. If I were a baby, I'd be crying my head off. And Norris aside from the regular 15 minute rainouts and a nasty burger I had, the rest of my trip was much better. I can't believe I didn't blog about the rest of it.

2007 now that I think about it, I didn't go anywhere for my birthday. I was seeing Rock of course and I remember that month being particularly rocky.

2006 was the year I found myself going to Raliegh, NC to be a wallflower followed by a few days in Vegas with an associate I no longer speak to. (Gosh maybe looking at my past trips wasn't such a good idea...*LOL*)

In 2005 I flew to Seattle. That was a funny trip especially my time spent with Jerome. It was a blast overall I remember, especially at Muckleshoot Casino. Chaka-chaka-chaka Khan.

I honestly don't remember what I did in 2004. That might've been a stay home year too. I do know I flew to Denver at some point in 2004 for a silly rendevous but I don't think it was my birthday weekend.

In 2003 I flew to Vegas for my birthday. That was my first trip to Vegas and that was definitely a nice time. I met a guy and his partner for half a day while I was there and spent the rest of my time going up and down the strip.

So where am I thinking of going this year? I have several possibilities:

Albuquerque, New Mexico - At first I'm like what the hell can you do there. Rock actually suggested that as our possible first trip when we were together. We wound going to New York, of course and having a wonderful time. Honestly I can't recall what they're famous for. I remember seeing they had some annual hot air balloon event, which will pass by the time I visit, if that's where I go. Every city has something famous, right? I'll find out. But it would be a totally different adventure to go there.

New Orleans, Louisiana - I believe if I go there around my birthday, the area will still be in Hurricane season. But I've always wanted to go there and felt bad that I didn't prior to Katrina. But Eugene went this year for a conference and had a blast singing karaoke at some bar on Bourbon street. And you know I wound up finally going to Honolulu due to Eugene's going. I'd love to try some authentic cajun food and it'll be interesting to see the area post-Katrina.

Phoenix, Arizona - This was another place that I've always wanted to visit. All the folks that I've talked to said that Phoenix is boring. But for some reason I want to see it for myself. There was a guy that used to follow my blog (not sure if he still does since I've fallen and gotten back up only to have to fallen again and again multiple times...*LOL*) that moved there a year or so back. If I do decide on Phoenix, I may have to look him up.

Las Vegas, Nevada - Yeah I've been there twice before but there's something about the "sin city" that is such a draw. And maybe this time I could step away from the sin and check out the Grand Canyon.

Altanta, GA - I've been to Atlanta before a couple times as well. One of my old college friends that I came out to recently lives there and if I recall, his birthday is also sometime in October. It'd be cool to visit him and also hang out with Norris.

Decisions. Decisions. Maybe I should think international too...like maybe Toronto, Montreal, or Vancouver. I guess Canada's on the brain. There's time to decide.

Eugene's Worth

2009-07-23T22:13:00.005-05:00

They say variety is the spice of life. If someone were to dissect Eugene and me, that someone would quickly discover several key differences among us. There are some days I question my friendship with him. From time to time others have questioned it too. The only three things we have in common I sometimes feel are being born and raised in Detroit, being black, and being gay.

A while back I discussed a personality test called Myers-Briggs. As a sociology professor, Eugene took special interest in the test and when finding out a very close college bud of his had the exact same combo of letters, he was elated since it explained why the two got along so well. Eugene hyped it up so much that I was curious to take the test myself. It turned out I'm almost the complete opposite of Eugene, the only thing in common being that we're both spontaneous type folks (P). Everything else we were opposites. I'm an Introvert and he's an Extravert. I'm a Senser and he's an iNtuit. I'm a Feeler and he's a Thinker.

One fundamental difference is that Eugene doesn't have much of a filter and says what's on his mind whereas I keep some things to myself if I think it is hurtful. That's neither here nor there since sometimes you have to let it out, other times it is better not to.

Some of Eugene's stubborn beliefs regarding his sexuality and how it is perceived partially boils down to his own "daddy issues". As a child Eugene witnessed his father mentally and verbally abusing his mother. His dad was an alcoholic who often took out his frustrations on his mother and the rest of the family.

Eugene grew up with this strong sense of justice and fairness. He has a very idealistic notion that everyone deserves equal access to education, jobs, resources, and dignity. He has no idea how he became so idealistic considering his home life.

Seeing the abuse going on in the family caused quite a lot of conflict between Eugene and his father. They clashed a lot and that often led to physical altercations. Eugene was torn when it came to his mother. On the one hand he felt the need to protect her since the abuse she experienced was unfair. He needed to help his mother find justice. The flipside though was that he was angry with his mother for allowing his father to do what he did. He couldn't understand why she didn't leave him.

After graduating from Cass Tech, he relocated to Los Angeles for his undergraduate degree. Part of his reasoning for relocating was due to home issues. Growing up Eugene knew he had an attraction to guys. He told me countless stories of how "studs" used to always want to horse around with him. At the same time he told of resisting and fighting off the advances of an older man who tried to make the moves on him at a summer job he briefly had as a teenager.

He was conflicted with his feelings for guys wondering if part of his issue was due to him seeking acceptance from other males that he never got from his father. This conflict continued and the "stud" encounters increased as he went through his undergrad studies. These encounters shaped his expectations of what his ideal guy should be. They should be manly men, a guy's guy. So any guys that he perceived weren't strong enough to take him were considered weak and if such a guy showed any interest, he would back away. (And as much as he says what's on his mind, he's also about appearances at times. If you wear anything that can be tied to your sexual preference, he doesn't want to be around that since he would be linked by association. So no gay pride parades for him.)

Eugene experienced a lot of frustrations along with the obvious joys clowning with his "studs". 90% or so of the "studs" he had his matches with, he knew they were straight and nothing would come of it. The remaining 10% he sensed may have wanted more, mostly a curiosity of having a guy suck their dick. Eugene however lacked the experience to differentiate between the two groups.

One of Eugene's preferences in his Myers-Briggs assessment is his strong iNtuition. In thinking about it, it was surprising that Eugene didn't trust it more when it came to possibly going deeper with guys in his younger years. Of course his biggest regret was not allowing his relationship with Larry to go beyond friends.

Even today Eugene is not as sexually experienced as a guy in his mid 40s should be. Eugene doesn't get as much wrestling action as he did in his college days. But whenever he goes workout, he says that he turns the heads of "studs" (not the unstudly of course). A lot of these "studs" are in their 20s or early 30s and his fear now is twofold. The first is his worry that he may not be able to keep up with the sexual prowess of these guys (assuming it even went there). The second fear is his anticipation of said stud's disappointment in realizing Eugene's in his mid 40s.

These worries conflict with the huge "Kayne West" like EGO Eugene gets whenever folks think he is much younger than his age. He was insufferable years back when he came to visit me and he tagged along on a date I had with Matt. The three of us were at TGIFs and our waitress was taking our drink orders. She asked for our ids and was flirting with Eugene a bit. Before taking his id she told him she thought he was in his mid 20s. She was shocked to learn that he was 42. So of course we wanted her to guess my age. She got it right unfortunately telling me my correct age.

Of course Eugene had to rub it in that she thought he was younger than I. I fruitlessly pointed out that I was aged by association since she couldn't imagine a 20-something hanging with an over 40 guy. It was a weak argument but it was all I had. He still brings that up every now and then whenever he receives random "you don't look your age" compliments.

So Hemingway part of why I wrote this entry was due to recent comments regarding Eugene's attitude from CrocoEmbossed & HaroldGibson. I do agree that he displays the very things via his actions that he's afraid that I may trip up somehow. He didn't believe me but when I first met him at the Amtrak station in Detroit in 2005, I definitely picked up on his "gay" tendencies. It wasn't anything bad but all men, even the so-called macho ones have some feminine tendencies in them and his were a bit pronounced. I should take offense to his opinions but I know he's struggling with his sexuality and he especially wants to perceive himself being careful since he's hoping to get tenured soon.

I also wrote this entry to try to remind myself of all the good qualities he has. I mean, why am I friends with him? Why do we talk to each other so much?

One of those qualities I mentioned earlier in this post. It's his sense of justice and fairness for all. He actually touched me a bit with his recent actions of helping a homeless young man get his life straight. This started about a month and a half ago. Eugene met him at Bally's and soon found out that he was living in a homeless shelter. The shelter he stays at has a cut-off time where they stop accepting folks. He's missed it a few times and Eugene allowed him to stay the night at his place. He also bought him a P.O. Box so that any perspective employees or anyone that can help has an address to send him info. In a lot of ways, Eugene is taking on a fatherly role with him. I've even teased him by asking how his son is doing. Eugene's latest project is trying to get his son to shave off his dreads (basically to make him more presentable in interviews). It's a really nice thing he's doing and not something everyone would do. This is just one example of someone he's helped and not expect anything in return.

Another quality is his ability to read situations. That's a double-edge sword of course. A lot of times I don't like to hear what his "imaginary antennas" are telling him. He's not always 100% right (even though he claims to be...*LOL*) but a lot of times he is on the mark about certain things. And as much as I bite my tongue, I've learned from him that sometimes it is good to speak your mind. I mean how is anyone supposed to know how I feel if I keep quiet.

Eugene's also a big kid at heart. That gets old at times but it reminds me not to always take life so seriously. That lesson I have to keep learning again and again.

Eugene really hates corporations. So whenever I have a beef with any company, I tell him the details and have him call on my behalf. He's helped me out of several different jams that I found myself in financially.

It's going on four and a half years that we've known each other. I guess time flies when you're having fun. Eugene can work my last nerve but I know there are times I've worked his as well. We have a crazy friendship. The few days a year that we actually hang together we always seem to clash over one thing or another. But luckily we make up pretty regularly too.

So for the moment I choose to accept some of his crazy notions. The pros of having Eugene in my life outweighs the cons. The longer we know each other, hopefully the more our friendship will evolve. Time will tell.

Boston Milestone

2009-07-19T19:25:00.000-05:00

As I was driving near my neighborhood, I ran into the most interesting display that I had to photograph. Basically someone living at this house turned 50 and it was decided that this milestone needed to be advertised to everyone. My rear view mirror is kind of blocking part of it but basically the display says Carol IS 50 and further in the background are a bunch of bras that were hung on a clothesline along with a sign that says "We Support You".

I thought it was funny but I'm hoping nothing like that happens to me when I turn 40, which is actually just a little over three years away. Wow...I'm getting old.

I mentioned a potential boyfriend in a post last month named Colin. He's a guy that I met back in May when I was visiting Eugene in Boston. So Hemingway last weekend I flew into Boston to spend more time with Colin. I took Friday off and took a 8:35AM flight to Boston. Colin was going to pick me up at the airport. I was hoping to be able to nap during this flight but I was stuck sitting next to two chatty Bettys who were carrying on with each other about their respective activities. To try and drone out their chatter, I put my Ipod on.

I arrived and made my way towards baggage claim. My first mission was to try and find a restroom. There was a couple on route to baggage claim but I figured I'd find one near baggage claim to go to. I made my way through the airport maze and then headed downstairs to bc. As I walked down there I saw a sign for the restroom but I had to go up some stairs to get to it. Needless to say I was annoyed. I stood there contemplating climbing the flight of stairs when Colin sneaked up behind me and we hugged. He handed me a Dunkin Donuts ice tea and mentioned that I walked right by him just near the down escalator. I guess I was so focused that I looked right past him.

So Hemingway we went up the stairs, I took care of business, and then we made our way towards the parking garage. He needed to pay for the ticket via a machine and we entered an elevator. We wound up having the elevator to ourselves and Colin promptly reached over and we started kissing. Part of me was thinking there were probably cameras watching us but I went along with it. I detected what tasted like a cigarette in his breath but I didn't comment on it, instead I was relishing on the overall excitement of the illicit moment.

We made our way to his olive colored Jeep (a color that I love) and that was where I saw his pack of cigarettes. One thing I'm not crazy about is smoking and it can be a big turnoff. Unfortunately his profile didn't mention anything about smoking which honestly I would've likely eliminated him from my dating pool. But Colin slipped by my radar and I got to know a lot of things about him since we spoke daily that appealed to me. So I was conflicted.

I mentioned the cigarettes to him and he stated that he was trying to quit, which I guess is a start. I let it go for the moment as we made our way out of the airport. He reached for my hand and was holding it at various points while he was driving (Awww!). His Jeep was a stick shift so he occasionally needed that hand to change gears. As soon as he was done, he promptly held my hand again (Awww!). The pattern repeated....change gears, hold hands, change gears, hold hands.

He asked if we should go to lunch first or drop my luggage and then go. I decided on the former and we wound up going to the same sushi place where we had our first date. The sushi was delicious but I wasn't particularly fond of the waiting staff. It honestly felt like they were more attentive to Colin than myself. I guess I should get this out now....he's another white guy. (And no Rock didn't sour me to black guys...I still got love for the brothers...it just so happened that I've been meeting a lot more white guys lately.) I didn't make a fuss about it though especially since Colin paid for the meal but if I was paying for it, I'd definitely make a point of giving the minimum of tips.

Afterwards Colin needed to run a couple errands, including getting some liquor for a couple friends (including his ex) that would be stopping by Sunday. So we took care of the errands and aside from one funny incident (we found a walkie-talkie that a Sam's Club employee left in the lot...Colin played with it and contacted a store clerk, who wondered how he stumbled across it), the shopping was uneventful. Well...I was perturbed when Colin attempted to purchase an entire carton of Marlboro Lights (yeah that's gonna be an issue) but other than that it was uneventful.

We went back to his place where he was greeted by his two cats (they were friendly though only on their terms...*LOL*). They ran away when I walked in and I could imagine them thinking about what Colin drug in...*LOL*. Hemingway we decided to spend a lowkey evening where he would make a home-cooked meal (a major plus). He asked me to invite Eugene over so the two of us could catch up and then we could watch a movie. Eugene, being the peculiar individual that he is, declined the invite. But it was fine.

We entertained ourselves watching TV, making out, having sex, and him getting the vegetables and meat ready for a homemade chicken veggie soup w/ rice. I fell asleep afterwards as we were watching Knowing with Nicholas Cage. So ended Friday.

Originally Colin and I were thinking about driving to Connecticut and visiting Foxwoods Resort Casino and staying overnight. But Colin mentioned that he had some discount he wanted to use and couldn't do it online or over the phone. He mentioned having to drive down there in person (an hour and a half drive) to do so. But as the weeks drug on (since our first meeting in May), I had a feeling Colin changed his mind about the resort, even though I was still kind of excited by it. He was making up excuses for not getting it taken care of. I finally stopped asking about it. I got that confirmation that we weren't going there days before when he suggested spending a day at the beach instead (the weather was going to be nice for a change....Boston like a lot of other areas haven't had much of a summer).

I was okay with the idea. I honestly needed to brush up on the little swimming skill I had that I was sure faded away. Plus he claimed there was a gay section of the beach and I knew I wouldn't mind seeing a few hard bodies.

So Saturday morning we made our way to Ogunquit, Maine, which was just a little over an hour drive from Boston. Colin boasted that Ogunquit actually attracts quite a number of gay and lesbian folks and a number of gay/lesbian owned businesses, including a bed and breakfast, existed.

We got there early enough to get decent parking and there was a bit of a crowd, though it was predominately hetero. Colin the night before had made some sandwiches and bought some chips, pretzels, cherries, and water, which he packed into a cooler. The cooler had wheels which he used to drag it along the parking lot. Once we got to the beach, we grabbed one end of the cooler and carried it along the beach(that was so a couples thing...*LOL*). There were already a small crowd gathered at the "straight" section of the beach. We walked past that and got to what Colin called the "gay" section, which was actually empty.

We settled near an open area and laid out our blankets and gear. I was wearing some speedos, which surprisingly looked good on me. Luckily I didn't have much of a bulge. We chatted, laid out in the sun for a bit, and I ate a sandwich with some chips. The eye candy was few even though I did catch a hot guy who seemed to be purposely posing.

The wind started picking up and unfortunately sand started coming all over me, even though I hadn't moved from my blanket. A bit over two hours after we settled in, Colin and I decided to pack it in. And no I didn't get to go swimming.

Of couse as we're leaving, all the hot gay guys decided to show up. Colin made a joke that they would leave within ten minutes after getting sand in their hair.

Ogunquit as you can imagine didn't have many blacks floating around. I may have ran into two other black folks the entire time I was there. Colin and I walked around town but didn't stop anywhere in particular. We wound up walking along this long pathway along the shoreline. It was really nice and I admit having thoughts of making out with Colin at various private alcoves that were hidden along the path. But I kept those feelings inside as we continued the walk. We saw a trolley and hopped on it as we made our way back to where we started.

On route back to Boston, we stopped at an outlet in Kittery, ME. We went to Old Navy to get a couple t-shirts and I stopped at a Casual Male XL to get some shorts for my dad. I was trying to stop at one in the Detroit area when I last visited my parents but all the ones in Michigan for some reason were out of business. So when I saw it I immediately knew I had to go there.

Colin expressed feeling extra tired when getting back. Eugene had actually suggested us meeting him and a guy he's been dating at an Italian restaurant that night. I admit I was stunned that Eugene suggested it since when I had mentioned possibly getting together with him and his guy days before, he nixed the idea saying he didn't want it to seem like we were on a "double date". Colin however wasn't up to going and while a part of me was disappointed that we wouldn't be able to (I would've gone but I don't drive stick -- aside from being fucking lost -- and his date was actually picking him up so he didn't want to have him get me), a part of me was actually glad. I get annoyed with Eugene at times because he always wants to control outings and who meets who. We've gotten into arguments in the past because he wouldn't introduce me to his friends since he concluded we wouldn't get along (and a possible fear that I might "out" him since my masculinity index is so low according to him). But this entry isn't about Eugene and his pigeonholing so let me move on.

Later Saturday Colin offered me the chance to do some laundry (basically his clothes with a bit of mine). His laundry room also happens to be his kitty litter room and his smoking room. I sighed as I saw a pack of cigarettes and his full litter box. I actually decided to clean the litterbox after starting the laundry. (Yeah I'm that type of guy...*LOL*)

The plan Sunday was for me to spend the day with his friends hanging out in Boston and going to their favorite gay bar. Before meeting his friends, Colin had wanted us to go to the gym to work out. But I forgot my sneakers believe it or not so we didn't go. So instead Colin was being the good host making sandwiches with leftovers from our beach outing and also warming up the rest of the soup from Friday.

So two of his friends arrived, the first of which wound up being his ex. The story there was that he and his ex were dating for three years and living together but the last two years they lost interest and basically had a nonsexual relationship. Their friendship in contrast grew to where they consider each other to be close friends. His ex actually moved to his own place last month.

So I met Colins-ex who actually seemed like a nice guy. He's a smaller framed guy of South American descent. I found out that they both worked at the same place (which is an independent living facility for older folks). Colin's managing one of thier kitchens and has under him some managers and chefs. (It explains his love for cooking) Colins-ex works as a manager in a different kitchen from Colin. Needless to say a lot of their conversations centered around their job.

Colin's other friend showed up ten minutes later. Frankford was a quiet yet mischievous heavyset guy who Colin stated was his best friend. I found out that Frankford was responsible for bringing Colin and Colins-ex into their current jobs. He wound up being laid-off by the same company a few years back. So a lot of the conversations continued to center around their job.

I was quietly observing the threesome and noticed there were a couple moments when Frankford and Colin would disappear to the laundry room. I sighed as I smelled a bit of cigarette smoke.

We all left Colin's condo and headed out to Boston in Colin's jeep. Since Frankford was big, I let him ride up front with Colin. We made our way to Boston and walked along part of historical downtown. We passed an H&M store and Colin insisted on going in to find some clothes. I was combing through some of the clothes but didn't find anything that appealed to me. I felt a bit bad for Frankford since there really weren't any clothes in his size. Eventually Frankford and Colins-ex went outside while Colin continued shopping. I joined the others outside as Colin went to pay for his items.

We made our way to Boston Commons and walked along the park. Not wanting to drag his bag around to the bar, Colin went to his car to drop off his bag. I tagged along with him while the others waited for us to return.

Eventually we made our way to Fritz, a popular gay sports bar in Boston. The highlight of the afternoon was seeing how Colin wound up socializing with other folks in the bar. He seemed to clash in particular with a queen-type guy who also looked to be having a crush on Colin. I also counted about six trips Colin and Frankford made outside to smoke cigarettes. (Yeah that's gonna be a running issue I see...*LOL*).

We ended the evening with a trip to Fire&Ice (I'm feeling a slight TeenaMarie/Rick James moment here), a grill and bar place where you pick the food items and they cook it right in front of you. Colin had what I considered a klepto moment when he chose to pocket a small sea salt grinder because "he didn't have one at home".

My flight was scheduled for early that Monday at 6:50AM. We prepared by turning in as soon as we got back from Boston. It was around that time that my body chose to have a pain in the shoulder. I told Colin about it and he said that he would give it a massage. I thought that was nice but instead he wound up giving me an Icy Hot patch. (*LOL*)

As we were getting to know each other, I learned that his birthday was on the 16th. Since I knew I wouldn't be in town for it, I decided to get a gift for him ahead of time. He mentioned being a huge fan of the Golden Girls (something that he has in common with Eugene and a lot of America...*LOL*). He had all the seasons of Golden Girls except for Season 4. He was looking to get it at his local Best Buy but they never seemed to have a copy. So I decided to get it for him for his birthday. I presented it to him just before we went to bed. He was pleasantly surprised and thanked me for the gift.

We went to bed and we woke up around 3:30 AM to get ready for the airport. Traffic wasn't too bad for 4AM...*LOL*. We had one last quick kiss upon arriving at the airport and parted ways.

Overall it was a good visit. Colin and I got to know a bit more about each other. Weighing in the pros and cons, I would say that the pros outweigh the cons (despite the huge one). I'm interested in getting to know him some more but am also keeping my options open.

Check-Out Stand

2009-06-24T21:45:00.001-05:00

Summer has finally decided to make its descent onto Chicagoland and I for one can't be happier. Even though the humidity has been quite high these last few days, I keep reminding myself as I'm baking in the sun that my body is getting its natural supply of Vitamin D. That's become especially critical due to my recent diagnosis.

Sally and I have been hanging out a lot these past few months. She's still underemployed and continues to do the juggling act paying her various bills. A job offer that was made way back in April had long fell through due to the guy making the offer (who was a friend of Rock's friend though not necessarily a friend of Rock's) not having the proper authority to make the hire.

It's been a tough road for Sally. I've had to do my best to comfort her whenever the situation overwhelmed her. I feel very frustrated because I wish I could more to help her as well as being worried about my own situation. Yeah yeah...for years I've talked about chucking the job but unfortunately I still need the steady gig. So far my position is relatively secure but you can never be too sure.

So Hemingway Sally and I have been hanging out studying to become Project Management Professionals. We both took an online class on PMP back in January (well she talked me into taking it...*LOL*) And since the class ended in April, we've been meeting weekly to study for the exam. My exam date is scheduled for June 29th.

But we took a break from studying to go to this festival in Evanston called Custer's Last Stand. According to the info, CLS is an extension of the Evanston Festival Theatre, and the main purpose is to offer a showcase for local artists, craftspeople, and entertainers.

So the highlight of this festival was Sally mentioning that this hot dude that was working one of the tents was totally checking me out. Dreambiceps and I did make eye contact but I thought he was just trying to sell me something. Plus Sally and I were looking for a place to sit to eat some food that we bought. But she swears that she saw him doing the once over checking my ass and tight calves out.

So later on after eating and walking around elsewhere I suggested we walk back towards that area. Sally settled on a jewelry shop five booths away while I stood just outside it waiting. To my surprise Dreambiceps starting walking towards where I stood. He sort of was doing this looking everywhere but at me thing but it seemed clear that he was interested. But my silly ass didn't take advantage of it.

So Hemingway towards the end we were listening to some jazz on one of the stages near the entrance we came from. I was harping to Sally about Dreambiceps and she was like you need to go back there and talk to him. So after a bit of back and forth, I agreed.

I nervously walked back towards his booth. Before going there, I detoured inside a nasty port-a-potty. I did my business, thankfully of the number 1 kind (TMI...I know..*LOL*) and then I approached Dreambiceps. He introduced himself and then we sorta discussed what his business could do for me and then he gave me a mini-flyer with an 800 number. I wasn't as bold as I wanted to be and he didn't come out and say he was interested. So I sort of dismissed it.

But I decided to call the 800 number (with Sally's prodding) when I knew nobody would be working and there happened to be a directory listing and his extension came up. So I may just to give him a ring. We'll see.

E-Cast

2009-06-23T23:43:00.004-05:00

I thought since it's been a minute, I should recap all the cast of folks that have come and gone in my life and made impacts, whether positive or negative. These are folks that I've blogged about in the past and may blog about in the future. So Hemingway without further adieu, let's start with...

I M M E D I A T E
F A M I L Y

Mom and Dad - They're pretty self-explanatory. I was blessed to be raised by both and even though times weren't ever easy, I wouldn't trade my parents for the world. Well except maybe my Mom for Big Dee....*LOL*. Just joking.

Tasha - My older sister by one year and four months. She beats to the beat of her own drum, which sometimes takes a bit of time to figure out. But her off beat personality makes her unique and I'll always love her.

Trina - My younger sister by six years. She's the social butterfly of the family. Her street cred personality sometimes clashes with my "bougie" side but we love one another and will no doubt watch out for each other.

F R I E N D S

Sally - She's my closest ally in the world and my #1 fag hag (sorry Reesie...*LOL*). We've known each other for almost 15 years and I have no doubt we have each other's back. Even though we live an hour apart, we keep in touch constantly.

No_The_Game - Since the day I met her at Caribou Coffee over three years ago, she's been a constant presence in my life. I enjoy hearing her unique insights on relationships and have met some of her close friends, which has been a cool experience.

Eugene - Eugene's my ace-in-the-hole, homie, ace boon coon. Since the fateful day I met him on A4A, he's always willing to toss his two cents on various issues in my life, even if I don't ask for it. He's a true kid at heart down to his crazy practical jokes, which one day I plan to get even with him on. I may have a potential ally to help me there...*LOL*.

Doug, Rick, and Keith - Those three are my college buddies from way back. Even though we all don't keep in touch as much as we should, whenever one of us is in need, one or all of us pulls together to help out. And actually Doug and I have gotten closer since I shared the gayer side of E. I look forward to visiting Doug at some point in the future.

Stan - I met him at my job when I first moved to Chicago. He's a good natured guy married with two kids who is my go-to person for real estate queries.

W O R K
A C Q U A I N T A N C E S

Ling - She's my crazy Asian co-worker without the filter. Lately she's been taming her tongue and we're in different groups now. The layoffs that our company's being having lately have likely calmed her a bit.

Dan - As Ling becomes calmer, Dan's become more cut throat. My new boss has told me that he's bad mouthed me to her in the past and he's become less trustworthy. He's one that I definetly have to watch out for.

SLAB - The funny acronym I gave my former Slightly Less Annoying Boss. He's moved on to bigger better things in the company

Fussy - He's my crazy business user who I continue to support. He can be demanding but one thing I do like about him is that he knows his shit.

Happy - Happy continues to be the happy-go-lucky guy of the group. He was actually one of the first ones to tell me not to trust Dan years before I realized Dan's two-faced personality. His instincts were definitely on the mark. He's currently on medical leave after having surgery on a defective heart valve. He's doing well and hopefully will be back in the office sometime in July.

Smooth - Smooth is the Billy Dee Williams cat daddy that I befriended years back. He was a victim of our last round of layoffs but he's doing it for himself as a consultant of his own firm he's trying to get off the ground.

Reid - He's my crazy former bowling buddy who was also a victim of our last round of layoffs. But he was recently rehired back in the company for a smaller salary (a trend that a lot of companies seem to be doing these days).

Deidre - My ditsy greek former teammate. She's over in a different part of the company and is adjusting to life as a mother and wife. Every now and then we keep in touch via work email to see what the latest happenings are.

M E N S E S

(Preface: I've had a lot of menses that I blogged about over the years so I won't list them all....just a few that were somewhat significant in one way or another.)

Vince - The only reason why I'm listing this jerk is because he was the first guy I've blogged about. He was my "coming out" guy to the blogworld. I've no idea what he's doing these days and I don't care.

Chad - He was the crazy 20-something that I had a date or two before finally kicking to the curb. He had issues up to the wazoo. Despite our rough going, I actually hope things are okay for him and hopefully he's matured a bit by now.

Rock - What can I say? He was my first real boyfriend. We had a lot of good times and a lot of bad times. I've learned so much from my two years dating him. We fell out of touch recently but I will always wish him well.

Midas - He was the guy that introduced me to my wild side sexually. One thing I didn't mention about him (not that it matters...guess that's why I didn't mention it) is that he's caucasian. As much as Midas satisfied me sexually, I unfortunately knew that he ultimately wouldn't give me what I desire....a monogamous relationship.

And introducing....Colin - You may be hearing a little bit more about him. He potentially could be my new boyfriend. I met him while visiting Eugene in Boston during Memorial weekend. Meeting Colin was the most random thing too. He caught me viewing his profile and basically he asked me if I was visiting the Boston area that weekend, which I was. We met and hit it off and have been chatting daily since. I actually am planning another trip to Boston in a couple weeks to meet him exclusively. I may be able to sneak a lunch or dinner with Eugene....*LOL*.

So there you have it....the cast of characters that have impacted E in one way or another in the real world. No doubt you'll hear more about them and future characters as I continue to blog. PEACE!

My Following

2009-06-22T19:59:00.005-05:00

This entry is inspired by Mariah's Carey's lyrics to Vanishing.

Verse 1
If I could recapture, all of the promises
and blog more often, surely I would
Hear the crickets chirping
From my lack of entries
To keep interest here
Fading blogger counts result.

Refrain
(Swiftly) my following, drifting away
My following, ohhh noooooo

Verse 2
I was so enraptured, caught up in selfish shit
I let this blog slip, I messed up ya'll
Now I hear the silence
And it is deafening
So here I am now
Trying to make blogger counts rise

Repeat Refrain 2x

Interlude
Reaching out to all who'll listen
Hoping they will forgive me for my past
Just a trace of someone's response
Tonight....YEAAHHH YES!

Verse 3
And if somehow I could recapture
All of my blogger friends
And bring them back here
Surely you know I would
But my hopes are fading faster
Hoping that the day will come
When my inspiration swings back
And blogger counts rise up fast

Repeat Refrain 2X

Outro:
My following, following, following,
following, follow-woah-ing
Oh no, woah-woah, come back!!!!!!

Taj, Oh My Gaj!

2009-05-15T21:15:00.008-05:00

Okay there's no such thing as gaj but thought it sounded cute. Hemingway I've been enjoying this latest season of Survivor. It's the first season of Survivor I've watched straight through since Survivor Fiji and one of my favorite winners ever, Earl Cole. But the show has been a hit or miss for me. Actually I wouldn't have even bothered to watch this season had I not noted that R&B singing sensation Taj Johnson-George was a contestant on the show. I mostly watched to see how far she would go and wouldn't you know it, she managed to make it to Final 4. I admit I'm rooting for her to win, even though she has some surmountable odds. I mean, she's never won an immunity and winning one, especially if she makes Final 3 will likely be critical to her making Final 2. Then there's that whole married to hottie Eddie George thing that could bite her in the ass if she makes Final 2. Either way I'm definitely going to be glued on Sunday night to watch the conclusion of Survivor Tocatins.

Incidentally seeing Taj....and T-Boz actually (I stopped watching Celebrity Apprentice after Trump made up a bogus excuse to fire her) have made me feen for some old school TLC and SWV. I'll always be an En Vogue fan first and foremost but SWV and TLC were also doing their thing in the mid-90's.

I saw this rare clip of an episode of New York Undercover (anybody remember that show) where SWV sings Switch's There'll Never Be. Taj sings part of the song, which isn't as much of a shock since she did sing solo occasionally on her earlier songs but wouldn't you know LeeLee actually sang a few bars. And in the few seconds she sings, she's cutting it up. It's a shame that Coko was given 90% of the lead, even though there's no doubt that Coko has a very unique voice. But it would've been nice if they evened out the song duties a bit.

Here's the video for you all to see. I'll let you guys be the judge.

Summer's Coming

2009-05-12T16:01:00.000-05:00

Or at least it's trying to. The weather in Chicago these last couple weeks have been flip floppy. Of course being that its Chicago it should come as no surprise.

But nonetheless I'm relishing this upcoming summer. My new theme song whenever I'm walking down the street will be Sheryl Crow's Soak Up The Sun. At least I think that's the title. You will have to forgive me since I'm blogging from my mobile.

I was told by my doctor that I have a Vitamin D deficiency. So every week for the next ten weeks I have to take 50000IU of Vitamin D pills. The perscription for those mugs cost $20 and apparently insurance doesn't cover it.

Whatever. Hemingway consider this my coming out of hibernation post.

Shored Up Synchronization

2009-04-16T09:57:00.001-05:00

You know in life it's funny how you just seem to click with certain people. It's like when you're the ying, they're the yang and when they're the ying, you're the yang. What exactly pulls you together you have no clue. I was thinking about that this morning during a rare early morning workout. I was leaving in the wee hours of the morning from a random hookup and decided instead of doing my traditional "walk of shame" at home, I would do a few "laps of acclaim" (*LOL*...yeah.) at my gym.

So Hemingway while doing my "laps of acclaim" I thought of an incident I had yesterday afternoon at work with a co-worker. This co-worker is actually one of our offshore co-ordinators that distributes work among the remaining offshore team.

So Hiresh and I were on the main floor of our work campus purchasing coffee beverages. The store is a "Starbucks-like" establishment with the "tall", "grande", "vendi" sizes for their drinks. Earlier that day I was in a morning training session where I won a free campus card for participating and asking a question.

When mid-afternoon hit I was returning from my usual Subway run with a sandwich and heading to the cafeteria to eat it. As I was doing this, Hiresh happened to walk by where I was sitting, heading towards the nearby vending machines. We exchanged greetings and I insisted that he "took a load off" and sit down with me.

We chatted about various topics, including our crazy work project and my obsession with Subway. At some point I made a mention of the training session and showed him the card I was given. I knew that Hiresh drank more coffee and purchased more cafeteria food that I do so I offered to give him the card. He hesitated asking me how much value was in the card. I had no idea. I was thinking it might have $10 while he was thinking $5. He suggested we both use it later in the afternoon for a coffee pick me up.

So when the time came, we both went to the "Starbucks-like" establishment where he ordered a tall beverage while I ordered a "grande" one. The total came out to $5.98. I presented the server with the card. It turned out the card only had $5 in it and I owed 98 cents. Instinctively I reached for change despite the fact of knowing that the store only accepted credit cards. A random co-worker offered to pay the difference with his credit card "in exchange for the cash". I accepted even though I easily could've pulled my card out. For some reason, my brain missed the "in exchange for the cash" part. The server had some initial confusion on using the additional card but finally was able to add his purchase of coffee to the bill so she could use his card.

He looked at me a bit, I thanked him, and he went to pour his coffee. Hiresh kept saying that I owed him 98 cents (which was true). But my brain seemed to register only up to "paying the difference with his credit card". Hiresh kept insisting and after a minute I realized my mistake. The guy in the meantime was about to disappear back to wherever he was going. I ran up to him and apologized as I gave him the change. He made noises like he didn't care if he got it but since he did say "in exchange for the cash", I knew it was just a cover.

I returned back feeling my usual embarrassment over my gaffe. Hiresh was ready to move on to other topics but my earlier gaffe was still bothering me. He kept asking why I couldn't let it go. I told him that one of the weaknesses of my personality is that I tend to replay things in my head over and over. I just couldn't help thinking how silly I was to assume that the guy was going to just pay the difference and that was it. I also continued to feel embarrassment since there were folks around that were watching the entire exchange.

So we got back to our respective work areas and needed to discuss on some work issues on the project. My mind wasn't there though as I kept referencing that gaffe. How I wish I could let shit go.

Hiresh was laughing at me still not believing I was thinking about it. I tried to rationalize it saying that I did resolve the situation eventually. But the fact that I glossed over the co-worker's key words of "getting the cash" still teased me.

So then I made a comment that it wouldn't have happened if I had ordered a tall instead of a grande. Then I added that it wouldn't have happened if Hiresh wasn't with me to purchase the coffee.

So Hiresh and I made the "wouldn't have happened" scenario into a game:

He said...."I shouldn't have shown him the card."

I said..."He shouldn't have run into me in the cafeteria."

He said..."I shouldn't have told him to sit down with me."

I said..."I shouldn't have participated in the training session so I wouldn't have had the card."

We joked a bit more and then he commented that I would somehow connect the "war on Iraq" happening due to me not giving the co-worker his change. That made me realize how silly I was acting.

Eventually we focused back on work. But our witty exchanges reminded me of the chemistry I seem to have with Hiresh. In a way I see him as the little brother I never had. We both lamented on getting older. Me about to turn 37 in October and he about to turn 26 and inching closer to turning 30.

That of course made me tell him about the time when I got my friend and former co-worker Stan a birthday card when he turned 35. The front of the card said "You Da Man". Then when you opened it, the inside said "You Da Old Man". Five years later on my birthday, my co-workers got me the exact same birthday card. I totally cracked up but sighed realizing that the shoes on the other foot. And someday Hiresh will be my age talking to a younger guy starting out his career in his mid-20s and would likely have similar like conversations.

Hemingway I'll be really sad when it's time for him to go back to India. The company's kept him around longer than usual. Rotations for co-ordinators are typically four months. He arrived December 1st and it's now mid-April. He mentioned that they extended his stay till at least Mid-May. I keep joking that he should stay in Chicago. But I know he has a life back home that he looks forward to going back to.

Oh well....I need to log into work. Thank goodness I still have a job with this crazy economy.

Ohh...and just like that, my four year anniversary of blogging came and went on April 2nd. Hopefully I can get myself back to a regular blogging schedule. We'll see.

Taking Candy From A Baby

2009-03-30T19:40:00.000-05:00

You've heard the expression "it was like taking candy from a baby" before. The baby is obviously defenseless in keeping a thief from stealing his candy. And the thief marvels over how easy it was to do so.

A lot of us plays the role of the baby in various scenarios. A senior citizen for example may unwittingly answer the door to a stranger whose intention is to do harm. A new investor not privy to some of the risks involved in stocks may fall prey to a broker whose intention is to unload some crap stock for a quick commission. A new home buyer may be convinced by his mortgage broker that a balloon loan is the best loan to take because of the low interest, not realizing that done the line the same monthly mortgage could shoot up as much as an additional $200 a month.

Yes, in life a lot of us play the baby.

(Why did those that last paragraph and sentence above sound like something Mary Alice would say during the intro of a Desperate Housewives episode. Speaking of which, Edie noooooooo!!! Go to hell Marc Cherry.)

Hemingway I've been the baby most blatantly in relation to my dealings with men. I've found myself compromising principals I've held dear all for the sake of keeping the peace. I came to that realization in the last couple weeks with Midas. Going into this newest venture with him I knew it would be nothing more than a "friends with benefits" thing. But over the next month or so, I began noticing that it was more "benefits", less "friends". Yeah I know that goes with the territory but I guess it started bothering me. I mean we would chit chat here and there but we never did much. At the start, we at least had breakfast before or after the sex, but even that went away. I never got to meet any of his friends other than the ones I had my threesomes with. Even doing the threesome was a compromise for me. Granted I enjoyed that compromise...twice...*LOL*.

The last straw for me was when he mentioned that next time I stay the night, he wasn't going to let me sleep on the bed with him. He's a big guy and basically he sleeps in a full size bed. In the past he had complained that he felt like I was pushing him off the edge. I tried to suggest that I would move closer to the edge so he'd be comfortable. He didn't go for it. I suggested maybe we should cuddle. He didn't go for that.

Basically similar to my situation with Rock, I found myself compromising more than Midas did. I couldn't really think of a time when Midas compromised for my sake.

So the last time we had sex, I ended up sleeping on the sofa. And yeah, my black ass should've just gone home, but I wanted to stay in the hopes that we'd do breakfast and hang out the next day. Turns out Midas was exhausted from his week at work and just wanted to sleep. After wasting half the morning watching cartoons and texting Eugene, I finally left. He did get up to at least see me through the door.

Since then I hadn't felt as inclined to call Midas (even for just sex). He would call every so often to check in on me (keep the sex line open...*LOL*) and such but I never really called him. I only did so to return his calls.

Finally this morning he texted me basically asking if everything was okay since I don't really call him anymore. A minute later I text back that I was sorry for not calling him but I had some things to think about over the last few days. Finally I sent him a message saying that things were more benefits than friends between us and that I needed more. His response was that it's been like that for weeks (wasn't sure if he meant the benefits over friends or my lack of calling him). He also told me to take it easy. I mistook this for meaning don't get upset but after I explained feeling low after sleeping on couch even though I said I knew that wasn't his intention, he told me I had to do what was best for me and to take it easy. In other words, have a nice life.

I guess basically he wasn't willing to try and focus on doing things as friends. On the flipside, though, he wasn't ever my boyfriend so he really had no obligation. So I hold no ill feelings towards him. But it's amazing to me how I've compromised myself time and time again to please him and when I ask for compromise (albeit indirectly....hence my other issue I guess...*LOL*), he's not willing to and chooses to end the arrangement altogether.

But I know he didn't ask me to compromise. I just did (a weakness of my personality unfortunately). I guess had I not we wouldn't have had our arrangement as long as we've had.

Even Rock reminded me that I did the right thing ending things with him last December. We had been chatting pretty good for about a month or so. Unfortunately I've been bad at blurring the lines between friendship and hooking back up. I found myself back to hugging and kissing on Rock as he made his "pitstop" back from his weekend trips to see his family in Chicago.

During a recent chat, I mentioned that my blood pressure had been taking a turn for the worst recently. He admitted to gaining 15 pounds since we broke up. For him, that put him back over 240 at least. He suggested that we both should work out together whenever we see each other again. It just so happened that he was heading to Chicago one particular weekend. I suggested maybe we could go to the gym near me on the way back to Rockford.

I honestly wanted to draw some lines (even though yeah it was pretty much too late) to avoid us just having another makeout session on the couch. We were texting the night before our meeting and basically he asked if we were still getting together that day or not. I told him it sounded good and to have a good night. He asked pointedly if we were meeting or not. I said it's fine and made the suggestion of just meeting in the gym. He asked why we had to meet at the gym. I told him why don't we try something different (as far as meeting in public place instead of at each other's homes). He said we needed to talk, to which I didn't respond further.

I wound up cancelling the meeting and telling him that I wasn't up for company and I hadn't heard from him till a few days later. He sends an inane text referencing his friend Ned. I wasn't sure what to make of it since the message was cryptic. I didn't know how to respond but he sent another message basically saying that the earlier text was meant for his friend Regine. He didn't say anything else and I didn't respond.

But basically Rock wasn't willing to compromise his plans at all. He figured he'd come to my house, we'd make out, and then probably forget all about the gym. And it was like that throughout a lot of our relationship. And as always, I found myself compromising more and more for the sake of the relationship.

I know I have a problem. I need to stop being a baby in all aspects of my life. Easier said than done of course.

Back 2 Vogue

2009-03-01T17:08:00.001-06:00

I can't believe I missed this. But a few months back, all four original members of En Vogue made an appearance on Wayne Brady's Don't Forget The Lyrics and raised a good sum of money for three different charities. You know me seeing that is fueling those long dormant rumors of them coming back for another album, especially since they seemed to all get along. I'd still love Rhona to make an appearance since she's helped keep them somewhat alive. Damn those ladies can still sing and they still look hot. If I were a straight man....*LOL*.

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Those Were The Days

2009-02-27T22:15:00.000-06:00

Eugene was chatting with me earlier and reminiscing about the good times he used to have with this friend of his. Larry and Eugene were roommates during Eugene's post-graduate studies at Purdue. Hemingway Larry was one of those guys who didn't easily befriend most folks but somehow bonded with Eugene. They went to football games together, traveled on the road together, and generally enjoyed each other's company. Eugene basically recalled an incident where the two of them were leaving a baseball game and was walking down a main street all smelly and sweaty. Eugene was walking ahead and was turning the corner when he stumbled across a restaurant with an outdoor cafe. He remembered a lot of the folks looking a bit swanky and he loudly exclaimed 'Ain't this some fancy shit?' The two of them walked by the group and Eugene later wondered what the folks thought of seeing two sweaty "jock type" guys, one black, one white, walking together and cracking jokes.

At the time he didn't really care and felt like the two were in their own world. Basically he was just thinking about how simple life was back then. He didn't have a lot of responsibility, neither did Larry. This especially became apparent when Eugene shared that story with Larry, how Larry lamented about the "good old days" and wished that he could just come up and go see him. But knows he has to clear it by the wife. Larry's the friend who Eugene flew to Hawaii last year to attend his wedding. He's also the guy that Eugene wished he didn't stop from potentially making out with him.

I honestly don't think Eugene's moved on from that and basically expects the future guy he meets to have Larry's same qualities, which the odds of that happening, not to mention the circumstances that their friendship was built on happening, is nil to none. Oddly enough though, I honestly don't think Larry and Eugene's story is over yet, at least in regards to
hooking up. But it may be a while before that comes to fruitation.

But he is right that I guess in life there's so many things that society says we have to do. We must go to school, must attend college and get a major, find a good job, get married (preferably with someone of the opposite sex), have 2.5 children, buy a big house, etc., etc. All those things of course adds complexity to our lives.

I of course have done most everything, except the marriage and kids. Sometimes I do wish at times that I lived a more simplier life with fewer responsibilities.

It's not to say that you shouldn't have some purpose in your life. But for those who don't follow society's blueprint of life, it isn't a mark against them if they don't do things the same way.

I think about my college friend Doug, who I actually officially came out to a week or so ago. I guess it was such a non-event (and yeah he suspected too...don't know why I bother...*LOL*) that I didn't blog about it. I did tell him how our mutual friend Keith kept giving me the 3rd degree about my love life when he came to visit me last summer. So I figured since I told Doug, he'll probably tell Keith and next time Keith and I hang out (if there is a next time), he'll stop grilling me....*LOL*.

Hemingway I also finally opened up to him because he opened up about his marriage of almost eight years. Basically it's not all it's cracked up to be. They're not even living together anymore. He's contemplated divorce but part of his reason for not doing so is because he knows his wife is under his health plan and would have trouble finding another since she doesn't work. He's gone through a lot in the last year or so, losing his mother to a mysterious illness and of course his marital issues. By all standards, the two of them are separated.

But it just shows how complicated life can sometimes get when we follow society's path. But hell it's complicated when you don't. Sometimes I long for those boring summer days when I didn't have a care in the world. Those were the days.

McLaughin Stud

2009-02-16T20:00:00.000-06:00

If anyone watches the McLaughin Group, the last word you would use to describe anyone on the McLaughin group is a stud. I keep forgetting to watch the show but always enjoy watching the antics of the various members of the group whenever I do get to watch it. Nine times out of ten, I'm usually able to catch it whenever I'm in Detroit visiting my folks.

Looking at the trusty Internet Movie Database site, apparently the show's been on the air since 1982, though it's not clear whether or not John McLaughin has been host since that time. I do see that they have transcripts (including videos) of previous shows on their website from 1998 to present.

So back to the stud comment. Hemingway I was in Detroit this past weekend visiting my parents for the purpose of attempting to declutter some of the items that they have. The reason being that I'm hoping to get them ready for eventually moving out of the old house they're living in now and moving into a smaller place.

So it was Sunday late morning and the McLaughin group was airing their weekly show. As usual I was laughing at John McLaughin's antics along with the various panel members. I noticed that one of their regulars wasn't on this particular episode, namely Eleanor Clift. Instead my eyes and ears were pleasantly assaulted by guest commentator Demetri Sevastopulo. I admit to not caring which side of the political spectrum he was on, just as long as the camera was trained on him and he was allowed to speak. Maybe I read too much into it, but I sensed the other panelists were equally as enamored of him.

I don't know much about him but he's a writer for the Financial Times newpaper. Some of his articles that have been written are included in this link. The link even has an email address for him. I'm so tempted to email but I should probably know more about his work so I don't come across sounding like a fanboy, which I guess this blog entry is all about. Unfortunately there aren't that many pictures of Sevastopulo out there on the Internet. The two I found on Google is what I linked in this entry and aren't his most flattering, even though they give a good idea of his physical appearance. But if you look at the YouTube video below of last week's McLaughin Group episode, he first shows up around the two minute, fifty four second mark. Plus based on IMDB (I love that site), he's made at least two previous appearances on the show, once on 09/09/2007 and again on 12/21/2008. Looks like I have some viewing to do...*LOL*.

Hit The 3-Way

2009-01-31T21:34:00.000-06:00

Or maybe I should title this entry Nasty News 2...*LOL*.

I knew going into 2009 that I was planning on having a wild ride. Little did I know two Wednesdays ago was going to be one of those times.

It started out with a crazy project day at work. But at least I was working from home that day, like I normally do on Wednesdays. I was just coming off my latest cleanse and days earlier was sharing with Midas some of the details surrounding what ingredients were needed to do it.

Midas actually expressed interest in doing the cleanse for himself and we made an evening date to run to various stores to obtain the lemons, cayenne, maple syrup, and sea salt.

So this date of course was made on Wednesday. So I swing to his place and we then make our way first to Whole Foods then to Jewels and for good measure, the last stop was Bed Bath and Beyond. Those trips for the most part were uneventful save a solicitor using some kids (not sure they were his) to get Midas to donate to some charity that may or may not be bogus and later on a hottie night guard at BB&B that both Midas and I were salivating over.

So we get back to his place and kind of talk for a bit and he mentions that his friend Damien was swinging by for a three way. Midas had mentioned to me before that he does enjoy a good three way and has half-joked (I thought) with me in the past about having one with me.

I was thinking at first he was joking again but minutes later I heard a knock on his door. I remembered my heart skipping a beat as I watched Midas walk towards the door. I nervously gulped as Damien and Midas walked back towards the entertainment room. After Midas took Damien's coat, I sheepishly greeted Damien before he sat down in the middle of the carpet. Moments later Midas asked us if we wanted something to drink. I was like...'hell yes' as I requested some red wine (so gay...*LOL*).

I was quietly sizing Damien up as Midas and he were conversing. Damien was a mere 25 years old. He was a bit husky and short (about 5'7 I'd say). He looked younger than his 25 years. I was thinking about my dilly dallies with men over the years and only recalled one guy around 24 that I've had relations with (I was 32 at the time). Everyone else I've had was typically in their 30s or 40s, though I had one hot 50 year old (even though he lied and said he was 37).

I would occasionally chime in a word or two during their conversations, which included a discussion about the whole Flavor of Love industry on VH-1 and how it's spawned off so many other shows.

But Hemingway I felt a bit surreal, not believing that I would actually be participating in my very first three way. I can't say that I didn't fantasize about it before, though in my fantasy I usually had two studly muscle hunks. But you can't get everything you want.

In a funny twist of fate, I actually got a text message in the middle of our three way ... conversation from Rock. I smiled to myself as I read his greeting imagining his reaction if he knew what I was moments away from doing.

I went to get more wine and then cracked up at the label. It had the words 'Ménage à trois', you know Love For 3. Yeah Midas definitely planned this in advance.

Years ago I would've been singing an old Angela Winbush side song going...'Ménage à trois, love for 3. Love for 3 is not for me. Why can't one lady (man) be enough?' But a couple glasses of Ménage à trois later, I was all 'Love for 3 is just the ticket for me'.

But the loving was going have to be put on hold. Apparently some work issue on this nightmarish project was so distressing my user that he insisted on having a 10:45 PM meeting. I saw that my onshore co-ordinator was beeping me 911 on that. So I wound up going in another room to make the conference call.

I was so buzzed but had to do my best to keep my composure during the meeting. Luckily most of the talking was done by one of the offshore folks and my user, so I didn't have to talk much but just take notes. The call took nearly an hour.

So Hemingway I finally got done with the call and headed out of the room to pee. Next thing I know I see Midas and Damien butter ball naked looking at profiles on A4A. I didn't even want to know what they were doing while I was in my conference.

I pissed and then remained in the bathroom for a minute longer wondering if I should leave. As I finally left the room, they both were still focused on A4A and I was still thinking of making a hasty retreat. The only problem was my coat was on the chair that both guys were leaning against. Plus I was still coming off my buzz. So I parked myself on a nearby sofa rolling my eyes at my predicament.

About two minutes later Midas came up to me all kissy-kissy. Damien stood off by the computer still. Initially it felt weird and I was resisting Midas's advances. I was thinking did I really want to do this. The thing is I know that Midas and I aren't boyfriend/boyfriend (and I'm not sure where things are going since I know it's a bit soon to even think about that coming off of my relationship with Rock) but I felt a twinge of jealousy seeing the two of them naked together and likely doing other things while I was in my conference. Part of me was pissed that I had to share Midas with another guy. (Come on Angela...take it away with that song girl.) But Midas was so sexy and was making me feel so good that I eventually gave in and slowly stripped down to only my underwear and a jock strap that I was wearing earlier.

Eventually Damien joined us (that took me a minute to get used to) and the three of us were pawing and making out with each other. It turned out that I was the lone bottom so that turned out to be the makings of a wild evening.

It may sound weird but while I was being worked over (thanks Whitney for that term) by Damien, I felt closer to Midas as the two of us were wildly kissing and making out. Eventually Midas took his turn working me over as Damien and I made out. There was all kinds of sucking and kissing and exchanges going on between the three of us and eventually it all culminated into some explosive endings.

Yeah I needed a cigarette.

Damien left moments later and Midas and I sat down and basically talked about the experience. Midas really made me feel at ease while doing so. I was feeling better and knowing that I had another early morning conference call, I made my way home early that Thursday with a huge smile on my face.

Even though I fantasized about it, I never thought I'd actually have it be a reality. I guess it was so good that Midas wants us all to hook up again, possibly tonight. I'm such a freak that I think I may just go for it. Peace out.

Nasty News

2009-01-24T16:35:00.000-06:00

I was disturbed to read online the story about a student at Virginia Tech who was found beheaded by another student. Apparently it happened in a public cafe and with an ordinary kitchen knife in front of several witnesses. To my surprise, I saw the news item on Fox news (because they're not biased there...*LOL*) website. I stumbled up on that story after my bff Eugene told me about another disgusting story where a man abandoned 300 rats (story I found since then reduced number to 280 rats) on the side of the road. They were trapped in fish tanks for several days and apparently it became a game of survival of the fittest when the rats started eating each other in desperation.

But back to the Virginia Tech beheading. The university unfortunately was also the sight of a major massacre that occured in April 2007 where over 32 people lost their lives needlessly.

Eugene, himself having a brief tenure at Virgina Tech before moving to Los Angeles, hadn't heard about the news. He was wondering why none of the major networks haven't announced it on any of their news programs. He basically theorized that the news media was basically protecting Virginia Tech's reputation by not sharing the story.

Virginia Tech was very much heavily scrutinized during the massacre shooting. Another major story of a killing would likely cripple it further. But what Eugene couldn't figure out was if the coverup is a mutual thing between V-Tech and the networks or if V-Tech made some kind of arrangement to keep the story out and the media agreed.

Guess we'll never know.

P.S. Midas and I are just enjoying each other and taking things slow. I don't necessarily want to jump quickly into another relationship and I don't get the impression he does either. I'm not sure if it'll go there, though he would definitely be a good catch if it happens.

The Midas Touch

2009-01-07T08:50:00.000-06:00

HAPPY 2009 Everyone!!!

Another year, another chance for renewal. It's that time of year when a lot of us make resolutions to do things differently this year. In my case it's no different. I have the typical resolutions to continue to stay healthy and trying to enjoy life even more. I've slipped a bit on my working out sessions but I'm working to try and get those back on track, much like everyone else around this time. I'm actually doing yet another cleanse. I'm about halfway done with it.

I'm back on the dating scene as well. Actually there's this guy that I've chatted with and befriended a few months back that I hooked up with on New Year's Day. On paper, he's (let's call him Midas) got a lot of qualities that I like. Lookswise Midas is like an Adonis. He's 6-foot, 295 lbs. He is one of those guys that carries his weight very well. Sort of like Young MC when he made his appearance on Celebrity Fit Club a few years back. Young MC if I recall was 275 pounds but IMHO looked very hot. Midas has very broad shoulders, nice big hands, nicely shaped thighs and calves. His face is very handsome as well. Personality wise, Midas seems to have a heart of gold. In our conversations, he comes across as being the one that tends to help his friends out in a bind. He's mentioned running errands to pick up items for his close friends. He also mentioned the time he went with a friend to pick up his car at the impound after it got towed at 3am. And then when said friend didn't have the money to pay and get his car out, he paid for it himself. He even offered to pick me up from the train station when I got back from Detroit over the holidays when I worried that I might miss the last Metra. Basically he likes helping folks out that are in a jam.

But I'm definitely taking things slow. Midas and I continue to chat with each other every now and then since our hooking up. Who knows where it'll go?

As for Rock, we've been maintaining friendly terms. But I noticed that since prior to New Year' s Eve, we haven't spoken. I know this New Year's Eve was different since the last two New Year's Eve were spent chilling with Rock. This past one I actually took the CTA (which I had no idea was free on that day) to meet Sally at her friend's place. I was the only guy among a group of ladies but it was cool. When 2009 came in, I texted Rock to wish him a Happy New Year. He wished me the same and then I mentioned that I was hanging 'with friends', not specifying who the friends were. It's possible he may have drawn the conclusion that 'with friends' meant a guy. And maybe that's why he's been incognito. And actually he wasn't that far from the truth since later on after the party, I hooked up with Midas.

So Hemingway that's been my year so far. Here's hoping we all have a great 2009. I really need to get back to a regular blogging schedule. Till next time.

Sardines, Anyone?

2008-12-23T09:54:00.001-06:00

I took a quick break from work to post this video. I'll never complain about CTA or Metra again. Well at least not till after the holiday...*LOL*.

Oh well. Back to work.

Naughty E

2008-12-17T23:58:00.001-06:00

You know the drill....

Okay, here's some quickie random updates on what's going on with me.

1) Rock and I broke up a couple weeks ago (well I broke up with him). Basically I came to conclusion that with the way things were going, that we were better off being friends. He was upset as was I but since our breakup, we've actually been continuing to talk to each other and the weird thing is I feel like a weight has been lifted off both of our shoulders.

2) Work is still hell. Hence...you know the drill.

3) I am Trina's Secret Santa for the second year in a row. And it's been so busy, I haven't had time to think of what to get her. And I'm totally stuck. I guess I have about 7 more days to figure it out. Still can't believe how fast Christmas is approaching.

4) It took me five hours to get home yesterday from my hellish job due to the hellish weather. I had left at 3:15PM too. Parts of I-53 and I-290 were literally at a standstill. It was horrible.

5) My exercise routine has all but fallen apart due to point #2. I try to get a little bit of a workout by taking stairs when at job but I'm not working out with the intensity that I've done months ago. I need to get back on track. I'm so scared to weigh myself these days. Somebody help me.

6) Is Noni really as beneficial as folks say it is? Or is it just another shill of an item that manufacturers are trying to get folks to spend money on? My parents have bought it and I've heard from others about its benefits. I bought some 100% Noni but the taste is revolting.

7) 2008 is coming to such a quick end. I still can't believe how the year has gone by.

8) I'm wrapping up on swimming lessons that I've been taking from an instructor I found via Craigslist. The inspiration for finally getting off my tush and learning was due to my not being able to swim while in Hawaii. The lessons have gone pretty well. I'm not a pro but I think I can at least swim a lap in the pool.

9) And yeah I think I've pretty much forgotten about my Hawaii adventures (okay not totally....damn I need to get my thoughts together)....but here's a horrid pic of me to remember my final moments in paradise. That pic was literally taken moments before I boarded Robert's Shuttle to make the sad trek to the airport. Aloha!

This Work Thing

2008-11-27T09:11:00.001-06:00

This JEM video (especially the pic of JEM falling from the sky) pretty much sums up my work situation! I've been practically working 24/7 this last month or so. I have to be up at 6AM for daily 6:30AM status meetings on my project (including weekends). Then I have to catch up with work from the project in between answering other queries and other meetings throughout the day. Then I get a two hour reprieve in the evening before dialing into a daily 8:30PM meeting. Then afterwards I have to stay on for an hour or so (usually longer) afterwards to advise our offshore on tasks for the night. I go to bed close to midnight only to start the vicious cycle again. I've even had to work on weekends as well.

My business user (or abuser as I like to call him) is insane. He even wanted to have a meeting this morning (on Thanksgiving, a company holiday), which he still did have with our offshore. But my new manager (can't remember if I gave her a nickname or not) put her foot down and let the abuser know that E was taking time off so he could be with his family. She also let him know that I had worked the last four weekends and needed somewhat of a break. As a compromise, I will check in with our onshore rep from time to time during the next few days while I'm in Detroit just to see how things are going and if there's any issues that come up. I like my new manager. She's tough but fair.

It's a nightmare. So I actually have a day off today (it is Thanksgiving...*LOL*) but I'm late for a road trip to Detroit. I need to run to the store and buy a few items for my Mom before leaving. So I thought I'd take two minutes to quickly update my blog.

And yes I need to blog about the rest of my Hawaii trip before I forget the nuances. Luckily I took a lot of pictures so I think that'll jog my memory some.

Hemingway Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Tell Yo Mama To Vote Obama!

2008-11-12T15:46:00.001-06:00

Yeah yeah yeah....I'm a week and a day late on this. But I was so happy to see on TV that Obama had secured his place in history winning the role of President-Elect. He has a mess to deal with so I don't envy him. While I don't think he's the second coming of the Messiah like it seems many folks are making him out to be, he's definitely what's needed for this country right now.

I just cringed imagining having Palin one weak heartbeat away from becoming President. Plus McCain ran one of the nastiest campaigns I've seen, even though they didn't have much dirt to sling. Even stupid badly bleached blonde dumb ass Lizzy on The View could only screech "Reverend Wright" or "Ayers" over and over, even though Obama had long since answered questions regarding both. But thankfully the bbbdaL pretty much contributed to McCain's downfall by reminding the country of Palin's $150,000+ wardrobe spending. And actually now that the republicans are pointing fingers at different folks for their loss, reports are coming out that Palin likely spend much more than $150,000.

But alas Obama secured the title and you could almost imagine most of the world giving a collective sigh of relief. At least now I can unpack my suitcase and not move to Montreal.

Okay...back to work. More on the Hawaii trip soon.

Deja VooDoo

2008-11-11T01:01:00.000-06:00

My gosh...this year is going by so fast. Wasn't I supposed to give a blow by blow on my trip to Hawaii? You know, the trip of all trips.

Well thanks to some bad luck, I almost didn't make it to Hawaii. The night before my trip (which took place on October 16 - damn can't believe it's almost a month ago...sigh) I had called American Taxi and after going through their automated system, I made sure that it was set to send a taxi to my home at 6:20 AM, in hopes of catching the 6:44 Metra train to downtown. So I get up at 5AM and get myself ready for my taxi. 6:20 comes and goes and there's no taxi. Usually American Taxi is good on sending a taxi on time. I wait ten more minutes and no taxi. So I call the dispatch and they claim that no such order came through on their automated system but they would send a taxi in the next twenty minutes or so. My goal with catching the 6:44 Metra was to be able to get to Union Station by 7:30 AM. From there I would catch the CTA Orange Line and take it to Midway, where I would board my flight, which left at 10AM.

By the time the taxi came, it was around 6:56AM. I was hoping I would get to the Metra in time to catch the 7:06 AM, which would get my to the city by 8AM. I wound up missing the train and rather than wait for the 7:20AM, I made the taxi drop me back at my place and I wound up driving myself. In hindsight, it might've been better to pay him $50 to get me to Midway since my parking fee for Midway was $98 by the time I got back from my trip.

So Hemingway I drove myself to the airport and despite a bit of traffic on I-55, I managed to get to the airport by 8:30 AM. Besides dealing with the transportation fiasco, I also had to deal with a last minute cold that decided to creep on me. I was so pissed off that I had to deal with a stuffed nose on top of everything else. So since I didn't have any cold medicine, I overpaid for some Contac Cold & Flu medication. I ate a couple breakfast bars and popped a couple pills.

It didn't help much and I wound up with some terrible sinus pressure during the last twenty minutes of my flight to Denver. If I were a baby, I would've been balling my eyes out on the plane. It was terrible.

My carrier Frontier airlines has its hub in Denver and apparently my connecting flight to Seattle was scheduled to depart 30 minutes after my Denver flight arrived. Needless to say I was afraid of being left behind. My flight to Denver did arrive on time but of course it took almost 15 minutes to get out. So I'm racing to get to the other gate after trying to look on the big screen for my flight info. I just barely made it to the other gate in time as I was one of the last passengers to enter the plane.

Save my sinus pressure, the flight to Seattle was uneventful. To top it off, I wasn't seated next to anyone of interest.

But I was definitely grateful for making my connection. Luckily my flight to Honolulu wasn't for another four hours. So that gave me time to get lunch at an overpriced airport restaurant called The Mountain Room. The server was friendly as I ordered an overpriced burger and fries along with some lemon water, mostly chewing on the lemons in hopes of my cold going away. No such luck.

So after the high caloric meal, I killed some time walking around the terminal and eventually picking up some NyQuil pills and more water. My plan was to take the pills and fall asleep on the six hour flight to Honolulu. I wound up instead taking a couple more Contac pills before boarding my flight.

I did manage to get a couple hours sleep and woke up in time for some more sinus pressure. Before landing, the airline had us fill out a survey for why we were visiting and if we bought any plants or animals along. It's definitely recommended to leave Fluffy at home, unless you want him put to sleep.

So after getting my luggage, I got in line to hop on Robert's Shuttle, the cheapest way to get to your hotel. There were 13 other couples or groups (yeah I was the only solo person on the bus...a common theme throughout my trip...*LOL*) on the bus and of course the hotel I stayed at (Hotel Kapiolani) was the furthest hotel from the airport, hence I wound up being the last stop, a hour and twenty minutes later.

I was actually able to snag a very good rate (albeit for a very small room) of $65 a night online. Eugene had recommended the hotel to me since he stayed there on his second trip (lucky bastard) to the island. The nice thing about the hotel is that it's within walking distance of the beach and numerous restaurants and shops along the island.

As I mentioned the room wasn't all that great but since I wasn't planning on spending my life in the room, it wasn't a big deal. So by the time I checked in, it was close to 11PM Hawaii standard time, which was 4AM Chicago time. I was completely stuffed and was desperate for some Chicken soup. I was hoping I would find something quick but since I didn't, I wound up going to ABC Store (which are on every other street) and getting a $3.79 can of Progresso soup. I realized that I didn't have a spoon so I walked a few blocks to a 7-11 where I picked up a plastic spoon and purchased some Ajax soap.

My plan when getting back to the hotel was to warm my soup on the coffee maker. Ghetto I know...but they didn't have a microwave in the room. So I washed the coffee maker with the Ajax soap. Not having much experience with coffee makers, I thought it'd be fine just to fill the bowl with the soup and warm it on the maker. I later realized that I would have to run the soup (at least the sauce) through the filter. There was no way I was going to do that, though. So my meal for the night was some semi-warm chicken soup. Yum.

I ended the night popping a couple NyQuil in my mouth and calling it a night. So ended my first night in Hawaii. Aside from my cold, I felt this great sense of joy and thanfulness for making it alive to Hawaii and making one of my travel goals a reality. I went to sleep with the knowledge that tomorrow would be a good day. More later.

Aloha Oahu, Aloha Chicago

2008-10-27T18:38:00.000-05:00

Sigh...I'm back in Chicago and as of today, back on the job. I want to give a blow by blow detail of my trip to Hawaii but am not feeling up to typing anything right now. I promise to share soon, though.

In other news...
I feel so bad for Jennifer Hudson's family. According to some reports, it's speculated that they found her seven year old nephew shot in the back seat of an SUV. Truly sad.

And apparently there was a plot by some skinheads to kill up to 88 blacks and ultimately an attempt would be made on Obama's life. What a twisted world we live in. There's so many nutjobs around. It's stories like these that make me question having kids of my own (aside from the special hurdles I'd have to go through to have one). Crazy.

It's Your Birthday

2008-10-15T08:42:00.000-05:00

I officially turn 36 today. Yay! I'm also off from work today but it's no rest for the weary. Today I need to prep for my upcoming Hawaii trip. I have to run a few errands today, including stopping at the post office and buying a couple last minute knick knacks. I need to pay a few bills before I leave too so I don't get any nasty threats to cut off service while I'm on vacation. I also need to get some laundry done today and most importantly, keep my latest attempt at getting a cold at bay. Can you believe that? It's like the universe is conspiring against me. But gosh darn it (Hi Sarah Palin.) I'm going to fight this attack because I'll be damned if I get sick during my vacation.

The nicest thing about this vacation is that I don't have to worry about work for at least a week. I tried to extend my time off until the 29th, but that caused a stink by the business, so I had to cut it short a few days. Bastards. But I plan on enjoying my week not logging in or thinking about work. Who knows? Maybe all the issues will magically go away by the time I get back. Yeah right...:-)

Hemingway Rock and I met at a half-way point last night to have dinner. It was the same area we met last year around that time. We were even going to meet at AppleBee's but I decided to change it to Lone Star. So other than a minor quibble over time of meeting, the dinner went well. I had a combo 6oz sirloin with salmon, which wasn't half bad. Later after dinner we hung out in his car and he gave me the movies Saw and Saw IV, since I'm a big horror movie buff.

As we sat in the car, I couldn't help but think of my upcoming trip and wish Rock was able to go along. Unfortunately circumstances with his job and cash prevented him from going. But he told me that he wanted to spend more time with me, which would be a good thing since after almost two years together (our anniversary arrives next month), we still don't hang out nearly enough. We're nowhere close to even contemplating moving in with each other. To tell you the truth, there have been times I wanted to end things since it doesn't feel like we're progressing. And I've given up trying to encourage more time together. So I'd like to hope that Rock's wanting us to spend more time together wasn't just lip service.

So Hemingway let me get ready for my trip. Hawaii, here I come!

This Song Is For You

2008-09-28T22:30:00.000-05:00

Visiting NeenaLove's blog inspired me to put up another entry. Following her lead, this entry is all about songs for any given situation. Of course I'm good at typing song lyrics (on occasion) to coincide with whatever topic of the day I blog about. So without further adieu.

1. Song that makes you dance, no matter what:
Dont'cha by Tori Alamaze remade famously by The Pussycat Dolls

2. Song you'd use to tell someone you love them:
This Song Is For You by Zhane (Sappy but your lover gets the message.)

3. Song that has made you sit down and analyze the lyrics:
Free by Prince (I guess the whole don't cry unless you're happy, don't smile unless you're blue threw me off...but it's so deep.)

4. Song you like that a two-year old would like:
The Oompa Loompa Song from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

5. Song that gives you an energy boost:
Free/Sail On by Chante Moore (Whenever I feel trapped in a situation, thinking about or playing this song helps me get through it. Sometimes I have to play it on repeat.)

6. A song you and your parents would like:
The Christmas Song ... as sung by Nat King Cole

7. Song you really liked when you were in high school that you still like now:
Escapade by Janet Jackson.

8. A sad song that would be in the soundtrack of the movie about your life:
She's Out Of My Life performed by Michael Jackson (Such a sad song. I really felt Michael's pain.)

9. Peppy song that would start the opening credits in the movie of your life:
Funky Town by Lipps, Inc.

10. A good song from a genre of music that no one would guess you liked:
In My Secret Life by Leonard Cohen (Sounds a bit like a folksong. I heard it play during an episode of The L Word and fell in love with it instantly.)

11. Song you think should have been playing when you were born:
Gonna Breakthrough by Mary J Blige (Mostly for the metaphoric fact that a newborn has to breakthrough his protective womb.)

12. Favorite duet artists:
Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell (Somehow I don't think K.C. and Jojo can compare...*LOL*)

13. A favorite song you completely disagree with:
It Wasn't Me by Shaggy

14. Song that you like despite the fact that your IQ level drops several points every time you listen to it:
Do I Look Like A Slut? by Avenue D (The title says it all....so damn catchy, though.)

15. Smooth song for relaxing:
Hotel California Bass Mix Al B Sure (Al's voice was at its sexiest and dreamiest.)

16. A song you would send to someone you can't stand:
Mama Said Knock You Out by LL Cool J

17. Favorite political track:
What's Going On by Marvin Gaye

18. Favorite track from a band considered a "super group":
Super Trouper by ABBA

19. A song that makes you reminisce about good times with a family member:
Together Again by Janet Jackson

20. Favorite song from a soundtrack:
Love Don't Love Me by Eric Benet featured on The Brothers Soundtrack (Ironically The Brothers soundtrack is my least favorite soundtrack and Love Don't Love Me is the only song I liked from it.)

21. Your favorite song RIGHT now:
The Naughty Song by Cory Lee (Another song that The L Word hooked me on.)

What's Up E?

2008-09-27T12:00:00.001-05:00

Oh my gosh. I have been so bad in keeping up with my blogging and blogs. I just haven't felt like typing much with everything still being insane at the job. I think I'll pull a Norris and just provide a list of random events or things that have caught my attention in the last month. I reserve the right to ramble on a few.

1) I've been enjoying Season 1 of Dexter on DVD. The title character is a Miami blood forensics expert who moonlights as a serial killer with a twist. He's a killer of other serial killers. I admit it's an interesting dynamic since taking a human life is wrong but at the same time he's taking the lives of those who takes other lives and slip through the system. Plus it's so cool seeing Lauren Velez in another television series. I still have fond memories of her from her New York Undercover days. That's really old school. I also keep hoping Erik King takes off his shirt one day and preferably just wearing briefs. Tight briefs. That brotha is so fine.

2) Has anyone heard of the ROM machine? It claims that you can get a workout the equivalent of 45 minutes on the treadmill in just 4 minutes. I read an AD on the machine in Popular Mechanics, though I vaguely remember seeing the same AD a year ago in another magazine. If you click on the website, they'll send you a free 45 minute DVD or VHS tape on their machine. By the way, it only costs $14,615. They try to justify the cost when compared to long-term gym membership costs and time commitment required. I ordered the DVD, though I probably won't be buying a machine anytime soon. At least not with the way the economy is right now.

3) I went to see Janet Jackson in concert this past Thursday with Sally. Sally was using the concert as a last hurrah of sorts in light of her present financial situation. The concert was the bomb. The majority of the songs played was from her previous albums with a brief snippet of her recent song Feedback. I ran into Rock's bff Ned and his boyfriend NDrama in the hallway while Sally was in the restroom. Of course they got seats near the stage but I wasn't complaining about my lower level seat, which actually gave a very good view of the stage. LL Cool J was her opening act. I was hoping to see a little skin from LL but he kept his shirt on. Overall it was a great concert....now getting out of the parking lot, that was another story.

4) I so need to get ready for my Hawaiian trip. I totally need to contact fellow blogger NeenaLove to find out when we can hang out. Part of me hopes she can hang out with me during a luau, even though that's so touristy. And I need to buy a Spacebag to see if those things really do hold more items in less space. I think I've talked about it before.

5) Any other kefir lovers out there? A co-worker of mine turned me on to the drink a year or so back. I remembered liking it that initial time but not really thinking much of it afterwards. So Hemingway in my continued quest to eat healthier (even though some days that falls to the wayside...*LOL*), I read up on kefir and recalled drinking it before. The main benefit is that it provides good bacteria to your digestive tract, which helps improves digestion. It also helps in absorbing the necessary nutrients that your body needs. Plus it tastes so good. I've been drinking a glass every morning.

6) My one-year anniversary of owning my Nissan Altima is coming up. I still enjoy driving it as much as the day I took it from the lot. I want to get it professionally cleaned soon. I saw the immediate benefits of doing so when cleaning up the Cavalier before giving it to my father and figured an annual cleaning wouldn't be so bad. Of course when I told my bff Eugene about doing that, he had to counter with why I don't do the same thing for my house. I should but sigh...*LOL*.

7) I'm looking forward to the newest Saw movie coming out this Halloween. It seems to be an annual tradition now for those to come out. My only question is why is Lyriq Bent, the fine ass brotha that was in Saw 2, 3, and 4 (especially his prominent role in 4), not listed in the credits for 5? Hopefully he makes a cameo appearance and they are just hiding his name from the credits. After my fiasco last year with trying to see Saw IV with Eugene and the subsequent issues I had with Rock, I think this year I'll opt again for seeing it on my own (like I wound up doing anyway). Besides it's coming out the day after I get back from Hawaii.

8) I went to Detroit last weekend for Tasha's housewarming. I wound up getting her some Partylite candles and holders for her gift. I got to see a few of her friends and co-workers and it was interesting hearing how one of them said that Tasha talks about me all the time. A good interesting, of course. I must admit I was flattered. I got to see Trina as well when she came over after work. Of course I spent the rest of the weekend with the 'rents (heh). Their cats had a bad case of fleas when I was in town last time but luckily the population is under control now.

9) What a mess this country finds itself in. With all this talk of the government bailing out Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, and even the auto industry wanting to weigh in on getting help, my question is who's going to bail American out? I was wrapping up my workout (which I so needed) at work and making my way home when the first presidential debate was airing. Luckily I was able to catch a transcript of the debate from CNN's website. It was a shame I missed the historical debate between the two as from the way it read, it sounded really intense. I'm sure it'll be on Youtube soon. But I really looking forward to next week's vice presidential debate with Palin vs. Biden.

There was an interesting article from Washington Post columnist Kathleen Parker where in the last few sentences she says in regards to Palin: "McCain can’t repudiate his choice for running mate. He not only risks the wrath of the GOP’s unforgiving base, but he invites others to second-guess his executive decision-making ability. Barack Obama faces the same problem with Biden.

Only Palin can save McCain, her party and the country she loves. She can bow out for personal reasons, perhaps because she wants to spend more time with her newborn. No one would criticize a mother who puts her family first.

Do it for your country." I wonder if that'll be bought up in the debate.

10) I can't think of a point 10....but thought I should have 10 points to make things even. (Although it looks like based on the labels assigned for this post, I've covered almost every category.)

Talk To Myself

2008-09-09T21:38:00.000-05:00

This song was the jam back in the day. I had the biggest crush on Christopher Williams. He was part of that New Jack era in music. I believe I read somewhere that he has ties to the late Ella Fitzgerald. I went to Amazon to try and find his first CD to see if it was on sale. But apparently there aren't many copies out there since the cheapest CD available was $60. Now I love Christopher but not that much.

I did remember buying a cassette of his album but I hadn't seen the cassette in years. That changed last week when I was cleaning out my closet and came across his cassette. I was so happy and was ready to play it, especially wanted to hear his jam I'm Your Present. (Let me make sure Rock's not around...*LOL*) Okay...coast clear. Chris could be my present anytime he wants to be.

The sad thing is that I don't even have a cassette player anymore. So I can't play my cassette. Is there anyway to convert my cassette music to CD? I'd love to play his songs on my PC.

Speaking of talking to myself, I've been doing a lot of that and cursing due to my job. Since the day after Labor Day, I've been working insane hours trying to fix various production issues in the system I support. For a few days I'd literally get up and within the hour log on, take a little breather here and there, but stay working till midnight or so. Luckily I did a lot of this from home but it was still pretty taxing on me.

My new manager who I need to come up with a nickname for, assuming I talk about her again, has been pretty supportive, though. She's been encouraging me to get away from the computer. Unfortunately though, my latest onshore coordinator keeps calling me at night with queries, which forces me back on the system. He's nice but can be a bit clingy. Hemingway.

I guess it didn't help during my stressful week that I was doing another MC....*LOL*. So I couldn't even snack while working. Actually that might've been a good thing, though. I'm wrapping up Day 9 now and should be done tomorrow night. I was contemplating doing an 11th day just to break my record but I don't think I can take another day of cayenne limade. Plus I'm starting to get way too skinny.

Tonight before getting home I bought all my ingredients for my veggie soup I'll be enjoying Friday evening. It's the usual carrots, celery, tomatoes, garbanzo beans, bean sprouts, and mushrooms...and of course I'll add lime and cayenne to it.

Sigh so Hemingway just wanted to post a quick entry to let anyone who's still visiting that I'm still around. Again I promise to make more of an effort to visit other blogs. Well as soon as I get past all these production issues. So I guess I'll log back into work. Joy!

Hawaii-E Bound!

2008-08-19T23:00:00.002-05:00

Aloha!

The Misfits aren't the only ones having fun in Hawaii. Yours truly will be heading there on October 16th for a few days of rest and relaxation. Hawaii has been a fantasy trip of mine for the longest. It's surreal that it's become a reality. What drove me to go was not only the decent fare but the fact that my bff Eugene is Hawaii-bound for the second time (lucky bastard). He's going for his close college friend's shot-gun wedding in September (which he's opposed to but that's another story) after snagging his own bargain price. I knew when he said he was going for a second time that there was no way I could pass up not trying to go on my own. So I did some research and after contemplating pulling the whole "MegaBus" to another city deal to get a slightly cheaper fare, I wound up getting a ticket at Midway that with transportation costs would actually cost me a few dollars less.

So the ticket is purchased. The only thing I need to do is survive my project from hell, which is supposed to be done end of September.

I have to now plan some excursions (though I'll definitely be putting in time to work the tan). Woo hoo!

Aloha!

Motivated Blob

2008-08-14T09:45:00.006-05:00

I so need to log into work after this post, so it'll be relatively quick.

But Hemingway (haven't used that term in a minute) I just back from a quick hour work out. I had extra motivation from a picture Eugene had me look at this morning. Nothing like looking at hottie Daniel Jacobs to motivate you to go in the gym.

Only problem. The workout today was an extra struggle. I didn't quite reach my 10,000 strides on the elliptical. It was more around 8300. I think my splurging on a whole pound of plantain chips was to blame. Bad E I know. So good but so bad. So so good...wasn't even hungry for lunch. So pretty much yesterday that and some gummi worms was all I had to eat. Bad bad bad.

But hey. At least I did something. I wish I were in Cancun like Rock (it was a trip that his bff and he had planned a year back) but it's okay. Well back to my personal work hell.

By the way, a tip I learned from Sally while she was job hunting. Not sure if I mentioned it but she found a new job working at Home Depot full-time and Eddie Bauer part-time. They're not her ideal job but it gets her out of the house and some income in her pocket. But Hemingway the tip. She said that you can apply to get a certificate in substitute teaching. Once you have that certificate which is good for a year, if you get laid off, you can apply at different school districts to get a job subbing. If they select you, they pay you at minimum $100 a day (even if you don't teach). I printed out an application from the Illinois School Board of Education and am in the process of mailing it out along with a transcript from my University. You have to do what you gotta do in this market. Best thing, at least you can say on interviews that you have a current job. Just passing it along.

Hemingway let me log back to work before I get in trouble. Ciao.

Bernie and Isaac - R.I.P.

2008-08-11T00:02:00.000-05:00

What's that saying that things seem to happen in threes?

This weekend's been a shocker in terms of celebrity deaths. Estelle Getty was one thing. She was sick for a very long time and her death was expected. But I totally shocked Saturday to read online that Bernie Mac died. His death was especially shocking to me since he was still relatively young at 50. Apparently he was hospitalized for pneumonia and it looks like complications from that did him in.

I've known him mostly for his work on The Bernie Mac Show. I watched it on and off but was never really hooked on it. I believe his show was released on DVD recently. So I will definitely have to check it out.

Then as if Bernie's death wasn't sad enough, I then read that Isaac Hayes was found dead the next day. Apparently he was found by someone next to his treadmill. His cause of death wasn't determined at the time the article came out.

His lyrics to one of his most infamous songs still gets to me everytime I listen to it:

"If you see me walking down the street,
And I start to cry, each time we meet.
Walk on by, walk on by

Make believe you don't see the tears
Just let me grieve in private
'Cos each time I see you, I break down and cry
Walk on by, walk on by, just walk on by"

Isaac had that quiet storm quality to him. Like Barry White, his low baritone voice could instantly be recognized. He enjoyed later success as "The Chef" on South Park and also guest starred as Toni Child's father in Girlfriends.

Isaac was 65 .

Both men will definitely be missed. I'd like to think that the two of them along with Estelle are cracking jokes in heaven now.

The Big 8 8 08 Post

2008-08-08T08:28:00.000-05:00

I'm alive.

I just had to post something today since it's all eights. I wonder if there's a lot of weddings today.

Work has been insane. I'm conflicted with feelings that I wish they'd lay me off already and the whole 'thank goodness I have a job' jazz. This project is trying to do me in. I don't think I can take it anymore.

But I went jet skiing two weekends ago in Lake Geneva with Rock and his best friend Ned (and his boo...*LOL*). In between freaking out about drowning (and the making a joke that if I did, at least I didn't have to deal with work), I actually had fun.

Well I got to get ready for you know what.

I'll try to post more often and visit my fellow bloggers. I've been bad at doing so these last few weeks. Ciao.

R.I.P. Estelle

2008-07-23T01:04:00.001-05:00

I was working out Tuesday night at my work gym and was shocked to see the streaming news on CNN announce Golden Girl Estelle Getty passing away at 84. I wasn't shocked in the sense that she passed. Estelle was sick for a very long time with Lewy Body Dementia. Estelle was also a big supporter of gay rights from what I've heard. It was indeed sad to hear of her passing. But if nothing else, she's in peace now.

I spent tonight consoling Eugene and Rock, who both stated Sophia was their favorite character. We were reminiscing over some of her best one-liners on the show. Remember these?

Sophia had quite a few fart jokes:

"Oh, I thought I was safe backed up against these pillows."

"Hey! Who told you to feed me cabbage?"

"That was me, and thank you for calling it to everyone's attention!"

Zingers on Blanche:

Blanche: "I think I'm going to sit in the tub with just enough water to cover my perky bosoms."
Sophia: "You're only gonna sit in an inch of water??"

Blanche: "...Sophia."
Blanche's Date: "You must be Blanche's sister."
Sophia: "You must be blind."

Blanche: "I'm gorgeous. I'm going to have to meet men lying down."
Sophia: "I thought you did."

Blanche: "I'm abhorred."
Sophia: "We know what you are Blanche. I'm glad to finally hear you admit it."
Blanche: "Sophia, I said abhorred."
Sophia: "Abhorred. A slut. A tramp. It's all the same thing."

Zingers on Rose:
Rose: "He's a very heavy sleeper!"
Sophia: "You could light firecrackers in his nose, he still wouldn't wake up!!!"

Sophia: 'You know Rose, I'm really enjoying this. You and I having a quiet cup of coffee together."
Rose: "Me too Sophia. Because you know-"
Sophia: "I said quiet."

Dorothy: "You don't get cramps once a month. You don't go on eating binges once a month. You don't get crazy once a month."
Sophia: "You just grow a beard!"
Rose: "I never grew a beard!"
Sophia: "You never grew brains, either!"

Rose: "Dorothy's the smart one, Blanche is the sexy one and Sophia, you're the old one, and I'm the nice one. Everybody always likes me."
Sophia: "The old one isn't so crazy about you!

Zingers on Dorothy:
Dorothy: "I don't want two grown men fighting over me."
Sophia: "Pussycat, how many chances are you going to get?"
Dorothy: "Proceed."

Sophia: "Dorothy, when was the last time you had sex?"
Dorothy: 'That's a very personal question."
Sophia: "That long, huh?"

Dorothy: "We are not jealous, Ma. We are angry. You left us sitting in jail."
Sophia: "Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy. And so are you in anything backless?"

Dorothy: "If I had lived with Stan before we got married, I could've spared us both some very painful times...and a bitter divorce."
Sophia: "And possibly had given birth to reasonably attractive children."

Sophia: "What the hell are you doing home? I thought you had a 4 o'clock beauty parlor appointment."
Dorothy: "I did. They finished with me early."
Sophia: "On Christie Brinkley they can finish early. You need every minute you can spare."

Rest in Peace, Estelle. Your body of work on the Golden Girls will live on.

Sag Drag

2008-07-21T08:36:00.000-05:00

I've always cracked up whenever shopping with my Mom at Sears and seeing a huge line of clothes with the label Sag Harbor. Apparently that label sells a lot of apparel. But with the stigma of having saggy breasts, I'm surprised they sell as much as they do with such a name. Sag Harbor's been around for a while, though, so I guess women are able to look past the corny name.

Hemingway having a sag may be a thing of the past in the Chicago suburb of Lynwood. The village of Lynwood passed an ordinance fining folks who show three inches or more of their underwear in public $25.

The ordinance has already caused controversy. The ACLU says it unfairly targets young men of color.

I don't know if that's necesarily true. I've seen plenty of young white men with their draws sticking out. I never understood the appeal but then again I'm 35 going on 36.

I read the news this morning and thought it was an interesting topic. Does this law infringe upon basic rights? Does passing this law put Lynwood one step closer to passing another ordinance telling folks what they actually have to wear?

To Be 60 And Gay

2008-07-10T22:57:00.000-05:00

I got back an hour ago from meeting this older guy for dinner. I still have an account on A4A and whenever I can hold a guy's interest, I like just chatting and stuff. So Hemingway a 60 year old traveling salesman hit me up Monday night with the illicit message...'like older guys? nearby hotel - here.' I basically told STS thanks but no thanks. I felt a bit bad so the next morning I sent him a message telling him if he wasn't able to get some other action that I could meet him for dinner that night. STS mentioned that he was actually traveling in other parts of Chicago later that morning and wouldn't be in my neck of the woods. He tried doing the whole 'let's meet for coffee before going to work' jazz but I was going in that morning in the opposite direction so that was a no go. He mentioned possibly being back in my area on Thursday but likely not. I was like, cool whatever.

So I'm working from home today and after logging in to A4A he sends me a message saying he's back and if I wanted to meet him for dinner or drinks. I didn't have any plans so I was like sure. My plan was simply to have a nice dinner and a quick dinner. We wound up going to Big Bowl in Schaumburg, which was quite crowded. As a result we wound up just sitting at the bar.

Just as I arrived there, it was storming a bit and the rain was coming down. I called STS to see if he was there yet. He was basically pulling into the parking lot when I called. I happen to be sitting in my parked car and I saw what looked like an older guy getting out of a Volkswagon. So I made a run for it in the restaurant. We shook hands and quickly made our way to the bar. He was every bit his 60 years. He may have even been 62. We chatted for a quick minute before he wound up taking a fifteen minute call with someone (likely planning a future rendezvous). If this were a "date" date, I would've been pissed. But since I was just meeting to hang out, it was all good. The only annoying parts were every time I said something, he'd go 'pardon me'. So I had to repeat myself. Every single time. That got old fast.

So towards the end of dinner, I was ready to go home. But he asked if I wanted to stay for a drink and against my better judgment I did. It wasn't that anything bad happened. But STS decided to go for the kill and ask me if I wanted to go back to his hotel with him. I politely declined. He then lamented about dating being an older gay guy.

It is true that gays are a fickle bunch and ageism is alive and well. I was reminded of all the bad dates and non-dates due to game players that I had prior to meeting Rock and could totally relate...aside from the age factor. He then mentioned that he was actually married with two grown kids and he uses his job as his chance to satisfy his urges with men but with his age it's harder and harder to do so.

STS's being married aside, I kind of felt for him. After I left and drove home, it hit home that if I live long enough, I too will one day become 60. Shocking, huh? I'd love to think that Rock and I will be together forever but I'm a realist and know the odds are definitely stacked against us. So one day I could be STS and face the same hurdles he's facing. And he reminded me that the sexual desire doesn't diminish with age (at least in the 60s that is...the 70s, who knows...though I do remember my Grandma - lord rest her soul - having a gentleman caller well into her 70s). I can only imagine now when men and women in their 60s and 70s look at younger folks, they may be mentally undressing them with their eyes. Scary thought...even scarier thinking one day being on the other side of that equation.

So that got me thinking about the future of 'virtual sex'. Sure there's cyber sex and phone sex currently. But maybe 'virtual sex' where you can put on a pair of goggles and visualize the ideal man or woman specimen and having them do whatever you want may become a reality. It would help curtail the current trouble of hooking up. At least I'd like to hope such a reality exists by the time I become 60 (in 2032).

I wonder if I'll still be blogging in 2032. Maybe there will be another form of expressing oneself. Who knows? And speaking of blogs, of course there's a blog out there that focuses on the future of virtual sex. Interesting stuff.

Back off Biatch!

2008-07-09T23:57:00.002-05:00

I got this interesting article from Rock who in turn got it from one of Yahoo's bulletin boards. Apparently NBA star Doug Christie nearly choked to death over the weekend in front of a large crowd of people because his wife wouldn't let a woman doctor near him to save his life. Here's more details from the article. Talk about crazy. Both husband and wife sound as nutty as they come. Sometimes you just can't make this shit up.

SACRAMENTO--Jackie Christie, wife of NBA star Doug Christie, refused to let a female doctor save her husband's life Saturday when he nearly choked to death during a dinner at the Pilothouse Restaurant in Sacramento . Christie frantically screamed for a doctor after her husband began gagging on a chicken bone, but when Clarissa Jordan, a 41-year-old female doctor, rushed to his aid, Christie grew agitated. She reportedly told Jordan t o "back off" even as Doug's face turned purple and his breath came out in short, labored gasps.

Bystanders watched in horror as Jackie Christie calmly waited for a male patron to save her husband's life. Luckily, Sanjay Mehta, a local medical student who was sitting at the bar in an adjacent room, was able to apply the Heimlich maneuver just in time to avert a tragedy. The chicken bone came up, and Jackie defended her decision not to let a female doctor save her husband.

"Miss Clarissa Jordan, or whatever her name is, came running over like a poodle in heat," said Christie. "I could tell she was lusting after my husband, which is why I wouldn't let her near him. Sure, she's a doctor, but that's a great way to get her little tongue down my husband's throat. Believe me, I'm no fool. Plus, m y husband would never want a female doctor saving his life. He'd feel too guilty having another woman lay her hands on him. He'd rather die. I'm sure of it."

Bystanders reported that Christie was not satisfied to simply wave Jordan away. Instead, she began beating the woman with her purse until the horrified doctor fled in terror. Christie said those claims were exaggerated, but did admit to "getting physical with her."

"I wouldn't say I beat her that hard. I just was trying to deter her from her ultimate goal of having sex with my dying husband," said Christie. "Yes, I hit her a couple time with my purse, but I had to. The woman was relentless! She kept saying 'He's going to die! He's going to die!' And I was like 'Whatever, bitch. Keep your hands to yourself.'"

After Jordan fled the scene, another female attempted to call 9-1-1, but she, too, was thwarted by Jackie Christie. The women, 29-year-old waitress Cheryl Malcolm, insisted that she was just trying to help.

"After that woman [Jordan] got beat up, I realized Doug was still choking," she said. "So I ran over, grabbed my cell phone and started dialing 9-1-1. Then [Christie] slapped the phone out of my hand and told me to mind my business and stop looking at her husband like that. I had no idea what she was talking about. I would never look at that guy in a sexual way. Gross."

After Malcolm was turned away, it looked like the end for Doug Christie. The Kings forward lay in a heap on the floor, his face bulging and red, his fists clenched, and his throat clogged with a large chicken bone, while Jackie sat with her arms folded and waited.

"I don't know the Heimlich maneuver or anything like that, so I didn't want to try anything that would hurt my baby," said Christie. "I was getting a little nervous, especially when his eyes started bulging out of his head, but I knew if I waited long enough, some guy would come along and save him. If not, Doug would have been killed. But it's Ok. I made him promise to come back and haunt me after he dies."

Dr. Mehta was summoned into the room by a frantic patron who witnessed the choking. After he administered the Heimlich to Christie, he noted that if another moment had passed, Doug would've surely perished.

"I am extremely surprised that this man's wife did now allow Miss Jordan to save his life," said Mehta. "If another minute had gone by, he would surely be dead. In my country, this mad woman would have her hands cut off and her vagina sewn shut."

After being revived, Doug hugged his wife and breathed a sigh of relief. He thanked Dr. Mehta for saving his life, and recalled the final moments before he was rescued.

"Whew, that was a close call," said Christie, wiping the sweat off his brow. "I actually saw scenes from my life flashing by. The funny thing was that my wife was in all of the scenes, even the ones from my childhood before I met her. She was just there in the background with her arms folded, shaking her head disapprovingly. Huh. I bet a shrink would have a field day with that one, huh? A male shrink, of course."

After thanking Dr.. Mehta, Christie also offered some words of gratitude to his wife.

"Although I am glad to be alive, I'm equally glad that my wife spared me the indignity of having another woman give me the Heimlich," he continued. "That would've been catastrophic. Even if I had lived, what kind of life what that have been, knowing that I looked at, and briefly touched, another woman? I guess it would be kind of a normal life, actually. Anyway, that's the last time I ever eat chicken."

In order to avoid future incidents like the one that took place at the Pilothouse, the Christies have decided never to eat in a public place again.

"There's a lot of danger to eating in public," said Doug. "The outside world is fraught with peril. You never know, you could be sitting there eating, minding your business, and a chicken bone could get lodged in your throat causing you to need assistance from a female doctor or paramedic. Don't laugh. It happened to us, and it could happen to you."

Stop. Rewind. Play.

2008-06-29T22:50:00.000-05:00

Things have been going downhill for Rock and I during the last month. It seemed like both of us were going through the motions when calling each other. But my heart wasn't in any of the conversations. I aired my grievances with Rock in regards to us not spending time together but it didn't seem like Rock had any problems with it. I basically told Rock that I wasn't going to bug him anymore in regards to planning anything. He complained about how he has all these obligations to work and family and his challenges in juggling all that and a relationship.

Every time we called, it seemed we would get into an argument. It got to the point that I was dreading talking to him. Yet something seemed to compel us to continue going through those motions.

So three weeks ago when Rock and I finally made time to see each other (this after the debacle that was IML 2008), we called it quits. Okay. Here's the lowdown on my experience at IML 2008 since I didn't discuss it before. Basically Rock made a stink about me going to it and didn't want us to go together because he wanted time to hang out with his friends (Ned and Regine) there. I went anyway because first off, it's a public event and even if we weren't hanging together, why should I stay home? He wound up seeing me (I went alone) and we hung for a bit even after I told him that he didn't have to hang with me. Seeing him at the IML on the morning of May 25th at that time was the first time I had seen him since Iron Man. To say that morning was awkward was a bit of an understatement.

It was even more awkward when Regine seemed to be grilling me on why I was there. It didn't seem to her that IML would be my thing. My running theme of the evening was that I've attended IML once before and aside from my brief "after school special" moment, had a good time.

Things especially came to blows between Rock and I when he mentioned two weeks after that his plans to hang with Ned and Regine because of how things were ruined at IML. That set me off. I couldn't understand how my coming to a public event, which he had no right to forbid me from going to, would ruin his time between his friends. But he concluded that my reason for going was to check up on him and make sure he wasn't up to no good. IMO that was not true especially since I had expressed a desire to attend this year's event regardless. Needless to say that led me to the decision that I needed to end things with Rock.

Which was what we did that next day in my basement. They always say that it's best to break up with someone in person as opposed to by email or over the phone. I was debating on the best place to do it. I really wasn't keen on doing it in a public venue. Not that I was expecting fist fighting, hair pulling, clothes tugging, and stuff. That would just be gay (no offense...*LOL*). It's just that I wasn't sure how the conversation was going to go and our reactions. I really wasn't keen on crying in public. So that's why I figured it'd be better to do it at one of our places.

After I told Rock that we should break up, he agreed with me. We sat there for a few minutes just in a daze. I couldn't believe we finally went there after weeks of playing the 'Neither One Of Us' by Gladys Knights game. We ended it all just a little over the nineteen months mark.

I looked in Rock's eyes and I saw that he was starting to tear up. I reached for his hand and he then hugged me. He expressed sadness over what was happening and mentioned that Regine and Usha had also broken up the night before. That set off the tears that I held back. We both expressed sadness that we were each letting a 'good guy' go.

Minutes later we were suddenly making out. It was getting a bit surreal. Both of us were questioning what was happening. I knew one thing that couldn't happen, though. I didn't want us ending up having sex. We went from breaking up to taking a hiatus to getting back together again. It was all very confusing.

But in the end we agreed that we'd make (yet another) go at it. He told me if I wanted to date other folks that I was welcome to do so but that he wasn't planning to. He promised that he would make a better effort to try and spend time with me.

Over the last two weeks, that hadn't really happened. He had a few more family and work obligations that he needed to take care of. But our conversations became civil again. This past weekend I went up to see Rock at his place. The funny thing is I told him that i was planning to meet a guy at the Chicago Pride parade to hang out with. I didn't solidify those plans with the guy but Rock made sure to foil those plans by making plans for me to spend half the day with him today. We woke up in each other's arms (it was our first time since April when we went to St. Louis) that morning and then went to Bally's together to work out. Afterwards we went to a JcPenney's outlet to buy some clothes. On route to this outlet, we passed the "lovely cities" of Loves Park and MacHesney Park. Rock joked to me to never say that he didn't take me places. Later on we had a late breakfast/early lunch at Subway's before parting ways around 2:30PM. He made tentative plans for us to see each other again next weekend.

So yeah we're not giving up just yet. We'll see if we can get through these hurdles. Of course I'll keep everyone posted.

Moore Love

2008-06-18T01:00:00.001-05:00

After a nearly seven year absence (at least solowise), Chanté Moore finally released a new CD entitled Love The Woman (came out the 17th). I had found out about the release a few months ago on her official website and definitely looked forward to her upcoming album. I decided to purchase the CD during my lunch hour today for $9.99. The last time I went out and bought a CD the day of its release was in September 2005 when Toni Braxton released Libra. Chanté, along with Toni and En Vogue, is among a select few artists that I go out and buy their CDs on release day.

I remember falling in love with Chanté's voice from the moment I first heard Love's Taken Over. At the time I would hear it playing on the radio and unfortunately it was never during a time when they'd announce who the artist was. So for over a month I was struggling to figure out who Chanté was. Fortunately one day I finally figured it out and immediately bought her CD at K-mart.

I swore back then (1992) that I would marry her one of these days. That was when I was trying to do the 'straight thing' during my college years and remember being pissed when Kadeem later scooped her up. A few years later I was pissed to hear that they split up, presumed due to his cheating.

So Hemingway how does Love The Woman stack up against her previous works? Well for one thing, Chanté doesn't seem bitter anymore. I suppose the love of a good man (I admit to questioning their relationship at first.) has been good for her. The one song where she laments over a cheating mate (Guess Who I Saw Today), she's more coy about telling her man he's caught, unlike Exposed single Bitter, where she jarringly repeats the N-word over and over. Guess Who I Saw Today is a clever jazzy talky tune reminiscent of Vanessa L. Williams jazzy tune titled What Will I Tell My Heart. Overall Chanté's voice sounds as lovely and strong as ever, even if a lot of the song choices aren't that memorable. But I've only listened to the whole album once and a couple of the songs a few times. I enjoy her sound overall and I would say that she strikes a happy medium between her first album Precious and her previous album Exposed. Fans of either album will find a few songs they will like. Her first few songs are catchy mid-tempo songs that slightly remind me of Exposed but is less for a lack of a better phrase 'her trying too hard to get street cred'. The first song Always Gonna Be Something starts off with a lovely piano solo before pulsating into a nice R&B jam along with synthesized claps. Her lyrics especially hit home for me in relation to Rock and I. "You had a hard day at work. She had a hard day too. And now you both have an attitude. But just remember that you both love each other very much. So go 'head and make up." And yep, it's always gonna be something.

Another song Special finds her uplifting sisters in general unlike her single from her album This Moment Is Mine titled Chante's Got A Man, which appeared to be poking fun at sisters who had no good men.

Chanté even manages in a bonus track (supposedly exclusively available at Circuit City) with the long title This Could Be The Start Of Something Big to incorporate some slight scat jazz that's quite catchy. She uses her infamous high pitched scream sparingly unlike Mariah, which makes the few times she uses it such a treat.

If you love Chanté overall, I would definitely recommend getting her CD. It's an overall good listen and it's nice hearing in Chanté's voice that she's truly happy again.

Hey, It's Me...Remember Me?

2008-06-11T00:48:00.000-05:00

*LOL*...Eugene used to utter those words to me whenever I overextended myself to certain people. There were times when every time I see someone, I felt compelled to say hi, even if the other person could care less to be bothered. Hemingway...

Miss me? Anyone even notice I was gone. That's me....Mr. Cellophane. Mr. Cellophane. Shoulda been my name. Mr. Cellophane. Cause you can look right through me. Walk right by me...and never know I'm there. Hmm...I could so be The Mole. Like I think Clay Cauley is. He's so under the radar. I so could do that. I bet he's the Mole. Hopefully the fools at ABC won't yank it off the air before I find out if I'm right. Unfortunately the ratings haven't been all that great for the show. Though I'm not sure what idiot thought it was smart to put the show at 10PM EST on a Monday after the dreck that's currently called The Bachelor(ette).

I didn't think The Mole would ever see the light of day after the bastards at ABC canned it four years back. But thanks to the uncertain writer's strike and some behind the scenes magic, The Mole has managed to make its way back to TV. Needless to say I've been really happy to see it since I still think The Mole's the best reality TV show out there.

Rock has a thing for the new host Jon Kelley. He says that he's his "one allowance" if he had to step out of the relationship. Personally he doesn't do anything for me. Then again my current "one allowance" is Terry Crews, a guy on a totally different spectrum. I saw Crews on White Chicks this past weekend and damn was he exuding sexuality.

Speaking of relationships, Rock and I are having a bit of a rough spot. Same issues keep creeping back in. Control issues primarily. I don't feel like talking about it anymore. The relationship's limping along but I feel like we're both dancing around ultimately calling it quits. It's like that classic Gladys Knight song 'Neither One Of Us'. We'll see.

In happier news, Tasha mentioned that she's in the market for a new home. I was so happy when she told me the news. I know the biggest reason my parents have held on to the old house we grew up in was due to Tasha still living there. The neighborhood they are in is unfortunately on its last legs. Drug dealers are on the block selling their poison a few houses down and the police aren't doing a damn thing about it. I'd swear the police are in on it. It's a bit of a sham actually since it'll only be a matter of time before the 'white folks' start moving back into the city. But basically they want the remaining folks on the block to kill each other or move out. Besides being a homeowner will give Tasha a good taste of independence and responsibility that she needs. The market is definitely in her favor as there's a lot of homeowners desperate to unload their homes. So she could be closing on a house before the end of the month.

Speaking of which, I found myself visiting Detroit two weekends in a row. Originally I was planning to take week off from work but due to work being a mother (don't even want to talk about that...*LOL*), I was only able to take a couple days here and there. The first weekend I was in Detroit, I primarily came to watch Tasha take part in Race For The Cure. I didn't get to see her walk but I met her at the end of the route. She later treated me to dinner at Famous Dave's.

The following weekend I went to Detroit primarily for my parents. My sisters and I helped my folks celebrate their wedding anniversary. To find out what we did to celebrate, look for all the letters in my entry that are highlighted in red and put them together.

Hemingway till next time.

For The Love of Bush

2008-05-21T23:03:00.000-05:00

McCain: "Hmm. Is that Old Spice you're wearing? So...so...mmmm."

First it was former Senator Craig with his two toe stepping in the stalls. Now this classic picture depicting McCain oddly hugging Bush has been circulating around again. Maybe Obama can use this picture against McCain in future TV ads. I can see the headlines now. "McCain is more than happy to continue the policies and status quo of Bush. He holds Bush close to his bosom. Voting McCain means 4 more years of Bush."

I must admit, though. McCain seems pretty relaxed being around Bush. A bit too relaxed...*LOL*.

Mama Love

2008-05-14T00:26:00.001-05:00

My Mother - author John Irving Pearce Jr.

The surest love, the safest love
The love that never lies ;
The purest love, the gravest love
The love that never dies.

All these and more is Mother-Love
That beams from holy eyes ;
There is no love that's half the love
That Mother-Love implies.

I went home this past weekend to visit my folks for Mother's Day. In the basement of their house hanging on the wall was a simple frame with this poem. It summed up pretty nicely why I love my Mom so much.

I have so many memories of my Mom and her showing me her love. She was always the one that was there to protect me. I remember once when I was young, peeing on myself at K-Mart. Umm that was a different retailer from the one I mentioned before. Geesh I guess I really did have trouble keeping my bodily fluids to myself. Hemingway. My Dad was mad at me for my actions and threatened to leave me behind. My Mom immediately jumped in and said if he left me, then she would stay behind as well. (Of course I know my Dad wouldn't have left me.) There was another memory where younger sis Trina and I were scrapping for money to buy a Nintendo game at the counter and my Mom was there scrapping a few dollars as well. It was a bit of a cute scene in my mind. Every first Friday of the month, our school let us off for a half-day. Since my Dad needed to be at work, on those days my Mom would meet us and we'd walk home or catch the bus from school (of course after we did some window shopping). That doesn't even count all the times she's cleaned, cooked, and took care of the household.

That's why I always try to take care of my Mom when I visit. I usually go to the store and buy a lot of different fruit that I know she likes. I usually take her shopping and am always trying to chip in to give her cash, even though she usually refuses.

She's done so much for me. I wish I could do more for her so I try to do what I can when I see her. I don't need a holiday to tell me that I love my Mom but it's nice to have one anyway. I love you Mama.

Ironed Out

2008-05-03T22:55:00.000-05:00

My work life has been hell. I was transferred to another project a few months back as part of our reorg. Not only am I learning the current processes of the project but I'm also slated to make major changes to how the process works. The business user is very demanding as well, throwing question after question to research on in the midst of maintaining and learning the current process. We have offshore staff that also works on these requests as we receive them but the changes have been coming fast and furious. It's gotten to the point where I'm working 10-12 hour days some days.

Fussy has expressed displeasure in the output he's received from our group so for the last four weeks we've had 6:30AM conference calls every other day with offshore to discuss updates. I'm not a morning person at all so it's been a bit rough. An added complexity is that I've started another Master Cleanse (don't judge me...*LOL*) and on the days I have the 6:30AMs, I have to wake up at 4:15 to drink my salt water. I'll be on Day 7 on Sunday. What's worse is that Fussy has been demanding face-to-face meetings with me on days that I work from home. Unfortunately to accommodate him, I've had to go along with these but in the last week it's meant having to make my limade drinks on the fly and then driving the 50 minutes or so to the job.

The worse thing about it is that he still won't be satisfied and I already know I'll get a negative review next year (in the unfortunate event I'm still working at my current company...you know that four year and counting plan to leave the job is still on...*LOL*). The upshot is that management knows he's demanding. But nonetheless I know I'll need to try and find a way for him to be somewhat happy.

My work situation has been so stressful that it's affected my relationship with Rock. The thing is I don't like talking about work once I'm off the clock. But Rock knows that work is the source of my stress. Since work's been on my mind, I haven't really thought about much else. He expressed concern that our relationship was getting stagnant since we hardly talked about much. We were having a "discussion" over the phone last week on this and I told him that I don't like talking about work because I don't want to come across as whiny.

I also temper the I hate work talk because my friend Sally is still trying to find employment. It's that whole 'I hate my job but I'm glad I have employment' syndrome. Who am I to sound ungrateful when Sally would love to be employed again?

Rock texted me on Wednesday after our "discussion" telling me that he's there for me to vent at. I don't know if it was the cleanse or the fact that I was struggling to answer another one of Fussy's queries but I felt myself tear up. Luckily I was working from home that day...*LOL*. I called Rock in tears confessing to him that I was frustrated at my work situation and feared that the company would have grounds to fire me since I wasn't satisfying Fussy's queries fast enough. I also told him that I'm supposed to be the calm, collected one (everyone at work sees me that way) and I can't fall apart. Plus being a black man means working over 110% and I couldn't afford any perception that I couldn't handle the project. Rock told me he's there for me and everything would be okay. He had to get back to work himself so we hung up. He checked on me later that afternoon to make sure I was fine.

So Hemingway I'm actually going to drive up to see Rock tomorrow. Since I'll still be cleansing I'll need to bring my drinks with me for when I get hungry. He'll also eat breakfast ahead of time since I can't eat any.

It'll be interesting to see what he thinks of me. Will I be looking scary to him? He's never seen me during one of my cleanses. I've done three of them since we've been dating and should be wrapping up this one by Wednesday.

We're going to see Iron Man. He's excited about that since he remembers the cartoon series. He's a cartoon junkie so I'm sure he'll enjoy it. It'll be great to spend time with him. Last weekend he was in Springfield hanging with his crew while the weekend before I was hanging with my blogger crew.

So I'm definitely looking forward to seeing him. It'll be great to take my mind off work for a few hours as well.

Oh well. Let me finish my laxative tea and go to bed. I have another round of salt water to look forward to first thing in the morning.

Action Star

2008-04-26T14:07:00.001-05:00

: "I was lounging on my couch watching Missing: Season 2 on DVD. Vivica was doing her usual 'round the way sista gurl' act and that had me stitches. I love my girl Vivica. If I ever needed protection in the streets, I knew who to call. As Vivica's Missing partner psychic girl was having another one of her visions, I couldn't help but think there's no way I'd want that bitch to be driving me anywhere. She's liable to have one of her visions and crash the car.

I looked at the clock and it was nearly 11PM. My plan was to hit this new gay spot that opened on the westside. Since I might be up for a while, I decided to take a 20-minute power nap.

Fast forward to an hour later and I'm chilling at the spot with a Cranberry Vodka. What other drink can get you drunk and potentially help your urinary tract at the same time? I was about to order another one when the cute bartender placed a glass of Alizé in my hands.

'Thanks sexy daddy,' I said.

'It wasn't from me babe. It's compliments of the, umm, person over there,' he said as he pointed in the direction of the mystery person.

I should have known the barely out of college frat guy type wouldn't give me free drinks let alone one as ghetto as an Alizé. I turned my head and was shocked to see that Star Jones was my drink giver. She raised her glass of Alizé and took her sip. I reluctantly picked up the drink and did the same.

I watched in horror as she approached me."

Star: "So how you doing? I was just here checking the spot out and you caught my eye."

E: 'You know we've met before, right?'

Star: 'Really? I don't remember any of that.'

E: ("I was stunned that my legendary encounters and multiple interviews with the former talk show host were quickly forgotten. Or was she just saving face? Granted my last meeting with her was almost two years ago. But whatever. Either way...I played along.") 'Oh never mind that. It's wild you picking me up when I just saw your girl in action hours ago.'

Star: 'Who's that?'

E: 'You know who she is. Ms. Vivica A. Fox. Wasn't she one of your 12 bridesmaids at your wedding?'

"I noticed Star's face began to contort. She looked livid and quickly downed her remaining Alizé. She then snatched mine and downed that as well. I didn't care much for Alizé Hemingway."

Star: 'I do not speak Vivica's name anymore.'

E: 'What did she do?'

Star: 'Her man stole my man.'

"All of a sudden my fascination for Vivica made sense. Vivica played the sassy no nonsense type of gal that gay guys like me flocked to. It must be a double edge sword for women like Vivica and Star. Strong enough to take no flack from anyone but a shortage of eligible straight men that wanted to deal with the drama. So wanting to fulfill their fantasies, these women turned to the only men who'd give them the attention they craved....gay men."

E: 'You knew Al was gay when you married him, didn't you?'

Star (sighing deeply): 'Yeah I knew. And he was a good little servant for me. He drew my bath water for me. He ordered massages. He ordered food. He even found guys that were willing to eat my cooch-'

E: 'You do know I threw up a bit in my mouth, right?'

Star: 'So I had to let him go. He coveted another sista's man and in Section 3 point 1 point 2 point 7, amendment 4a of my prenup, it states that if he coveted another sista's man that it was grounds for me filing a divorce and him not getting a single penny.

Oh he tried so hard to stick around. I was his meal ticket and he really didn't want to fuck that up. Even after I fucked up things on the View and my own TV show after that got canned, I was still worth more than Al. He knew that. But he bored me silly after a while. You know he wasn't much of a challenge for me. But thankfully I knew it was a matter of time before he would break something in my tight ass prenup. And he did. So here I am.'

E: 'So why'd you marry him?'

Star: 'I was tired of all the leeches coming up to me and I thought having one exclusive leech would quench my thirst.'

E: 'So that book you wrote was all a lie?'

Star: 'Star Jones don't lie honey. I was being honest and truthful in that book. That book will help you find a man.'

"Since Star wasn't going to buy me a drink with her cheap ass, I ordered up another cranberry vodka."

E: 'But obviously it won't help me keep one.'

"Star did her best to act seductive. But it was scaring the shit out of me."

Star: 'Why you want a no good man, when you can have all of this.'

E (stifling laughter): 'As tempting as that offer is, I must respectfully decline.'

"The thought of hooking up with Star Jones made me sick to my stomach. I may like no nonsense women but they have to at least be attractive. Even Skeletor beat her in the looks department and that's cause despite a bony face, he had some serious muscle tone. I was so disgusted that I quickly downed my cranberry vodka."

Star: 'Your loss honey.'

And with that she quickly moved on to another prospect in the club. As she ran off, I felt a brush on my shoulder. I turned my head and was stunned by the hotness of this dude that was now speaking to me. Shockingly it was frat boy bartender.

FBB: 'So you know Star Jones?'

E: 'I can not tell a lie. Yeah I do.'

FBB: 'Cool. Let's go up to my private office and you can tell me all about it.'

"I figured since everyone would see us going in the office that it would be safe. So I followed him inside. Star Jones was the furthest thing on my mind as we began making out on the spot.

Wow. Who knew that Star would help me find my own action? Thanks Star."

Summer Hotties

2008-04-25T07:50:00.000-05:00

Summer Bunnies - R. Kelly

[Pre-Bridge]
Girl, you know you knock me out
You're a real girl with your looks now baby
Girl you know you knock me out

[Chorus]
*Summer bunnies drive me crazy
(repeat 4 times with ad libs)

[Verse 1]
1,2,3,4 it's time for me to jet
Where ya goin' off to?
The beach, that's a bet
It's summertime so it's time to get a summer bunny

Some of those and I won't call 'em whores
'Cause in the 90s you gotta respect the ladies
So step up to 'em and say, we love you sweet Sadie
That's how you get your true mock on but
Brothers be steppin' up poppin' that sad song

Hey don't I know you from somewhere?
Can we go somewhere to be alone?
I pull up in the lot, pop the trunks
Make their heads bob
And it's sunny so it's time to get a summer bunny

[CHORUS]

[VERSE 2]
It's five o'clock and my voice code is 22
So beep, beep, beep, it's time for me to make a move
I'm on my way to a picnic, we got time
But I wanna be early, fool
So I can catch the new bunnies comin' in
Like the old school

Strollin' the block so I can check the scenery
The sun plays, the day is feelin' good to me
I can just semll the funky beats
You know the flavor in between the sheets

I told my boy Big Al, said just keep it straight
Said, I know I got a novelty to validate
So who's the bunny lookin' sweet like a honeycomb?
He said, "No my brother, you got to get your own"

[CHORUS]

[VERSE 3]
This party is packed, word to the mother
I love it when there's three bunnies to one brother
And wine coolers is what I'm packin'
And when I get my buzz on is when I start bunny-jackin'

Jackin' fools for their bunnies
'Cause I'm the K, the E, the double L, the Y
They wanna get with me
And the PAs in the house
So check, check, check it out

My stomach is growlin' so it's time to get mine on
Some soul food, Kool Aid and you know it's on
I hate to eat and run but I'm out my homie
Been invited to a block party

So we roll up in all our style
With the brothers yellin', summer bunnies

[CHORUS]

[BRIDGE]
Let's break it down -
You're lookin' feel good with your boots on, baby (3 times)

[CHORUS]

R. Kelly is a freaking mess and in light of his disturbing fascination with young girls (which has that even seen the light of day in court yet), I shouldn't be posting his lyrics. But damn was I not thinking of this song the other day.

The weather's getting nicer. And with that nice weather, folks are starting to shed their clothing. I was chatting with Eugene the other day and he was telling me how he can't help but admire the male students and how they're showing off their upper bodies with tight clothing. Every other minute this week it was like...'oooh this hunk this and oooh this hunk that'...*LOL*. He even gets to see them flex in front of him when they visit his office for class related stuff. I envy him in some respects because as a college professor, he has daily access to eye candy that I don't. I mean, don't get me wrong. About 3% of the male work population at my job are "eye candy" worthy. For example, there's this one tall latino faux-security guard in my building that I can't help but "feen" (I think that's a word...*LOL*) over. Luis looks so built in his uniform. We always greet each other when I leave the building and I swear at one point I thought he was trying to holler. I even made up an excuse to chat with Luis a few weeks back hoping for a spark. I got one of those stupid warning work parking tickets for taking up two spots. That was my opportunity. It was only a couple seconds of chatting but damn it was nice seeing him up close and I was so looking for a wedding ring...*LOL*. But I wouldn't take things any further Hemingway. Besides...I'm married....*LOL*. But Luis is the exception to a mostly ugh rule. Eugene has a larger selection to feast his eyes on.

But I'm looking forward to seeing the shirtless hunks jogging around my neighborhood. It's also nice seeing these guys as I'm going about doing my business. It's one of the things I look forward to when summer hits. I'm hoping that winter is officially over since you never know in Chicago.

Hemingway today's my office day. So I'm about to get ready for the job. Hope everyone has a Happy Friday. TGIF.